The crash that nearly killed Spitfire wasn’t even the weirdest part of her day.
Deep into the tail end of a less-than-stellar Equestrian tour, Spitfire and her Wonderbolts get orders to amp up the excitement of their flight show with a dangerous new stunt. When an in-flight accident leaves Spitfire with cold hooves about their new show, she turns to the advice of a local earth pony with a strange technique for easing her worries.
His remedy calls for alcohol, fire, and uncertainty.
Chapters (1)
Nice little story! I think you nailed Spitfire and Braeburn's characterizations very well. The sublte doubt that lurks in Spitfire's action is very well done, and I love the interpretation that you took her in. I'm not familiar with scrying myself but you've got me interested now.
Now if you'll pardon my interjection, the inner-editor/beta reader/reviewer in me did find a few errors. I apologize in advance!
Braeburn missing capitalization
Craeburn should probably be Braeburn
Missing quotation
Missing quotation
Still, I really liked this story. Have a thumbs up and favorite!
10301739
Thanks for reading, Red! And thanks for catching my sins as well 😅
10301746
No problem! ^^
Nice to finally find another spitburn fanfic.
Wow...
Pretty good, actually...caught the mood and environment flyers like this have...
One spelling correction...
Spitfire straightened up as the unspoken (imptice) of command settled back over her shoulders.
Correct word is 'impetus'...
Two points. They might help the flavor improve slightly...
'Tricks' is a bit too juvie. The IAC manual refers to each element in a routine as a 'figure'. But I don't think that's the word for this either. I would use the term 'element' itself. Thunderhead is an element; Buzzcut is an element, etc. Takes the language of these pinnacle flyers, and moves it from Dashie practicing her crashes, or the Washouts trying to impress, to the foremost Pegasi flight demonstration team in Equestria.
'Team doctor' is also diminutive. The term 'Flight Surgeon' is more in line with pros like these. And Spits would have found an inordinate amount of pressure from the Flight Surgeon to be 100%, or get downchecked. You did use the term 'cleared' correctly, as in 'cleared to fly'. No pilot wants the 'Fulla Sh*t' to say they're grounded for 'X', or permanently, either. Spits would have tried to keep that little 'occurence' in the bar off his radar if at all possible. Two noggin bumps that close together, and she would have been on concussion protocol as sure as Cely raises the Sun.
Well done! Do it again!
10307576
Much appreciated!
Thank you for the kind words and critique! I don't think it comes as a shock when I say I'm not a pilot of any kind. I was more or less going off whatever pilot-y speak I remember from the movies
I don't think I've ever seen these two together in a story before. They made for a suitably rare pair.