Troubled Griffs and Simple Solutions

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Gallus has some problems. Five problems, to be exact. Five problems that he happens to love simultaneously.

Guidance counselors are supposed to help with problems, so maybe Trixie will have some answers, or at least a listening ear.

This is a fic about polyamory, self-loathing, self-discovery, and acceptance.

Preread by Nailah and The Red Parade.

Cover art by tresmariasarts on derpi.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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RainbowDoubleDash

RainbowDoubleDash #1 · Jan 19th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Aw, this was sweet.

Jarvy Jared

Jarvy Jared #2 · Jan 20th, 2021 · 1 · ·

I tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to stories that preach some lesson (even as I have a soft spot for stories that do so effectively). That said, this one is fairly simple in its scope, but luckily it doesn't feel too heavy handed. As I see it, the story is simply a meditation on the topic it presents, and its "lesson" isn't necessarily something that is applied so much as it's suggested to be applied later. It's also something that doesn't get hammered in - the story opens its argument, presents its facts and opinion, then closes itself fully, giving a sense of completeness.

I suppose one critique I would have is the fact that the story, beyond what it does successfully, doesn't quite go the full length of explaining why Gallus feels the way he does. Of course, a sense of being overwhelmed is to be expected, but I wonder if the story would have just as benefited from a bit of a dramatization of that struggle to explain, rather than just saying, "It's too difficult to put into words."

In the end, though, the story's length suits its intended purpose. I believe you've done well enough in that regard.

Esalen

Esalen #3 · Jan 20th, 2021 · 1 · ·

10637231

> I suppose one critique I would have is the fact that the story, beyond what it does successfully, doesn't quite go the full length of explaining why Gallus feels the way he does. Of course, a sense of being overwhelmed is to be expected, but I wonder if the story would have just as benefited from a bit of a dramatization of that struggle to explain, rather than just saying, "It's too difficult to put into words."

And that is definitely a fair criticism. I agree with you, but what it boiled down to was the fact that it felt like the impact of the story would be lessened, or that the reader's attention would be dulled in the middle if I went the route of "here's a list of the things I find attractive about them". I toyed with it for a while, but it felt bland and unnecessary, as there are a plethora of other stories that list the attractive attributes of potential partners. It didn't add anything other than words, and while I definitely agree that I could have dramatized the struggle better than I did, it felt appropriate to leave it in this state, somehow.

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