- Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
ScarletRibbon
Just a pone who likes to write about other pones in compromising situations ranging from sexy to deadly and everywhere in between. https://ko-fi.com/scarletribbon
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ScarletRibbon · 13k words · 88 17 · 2.4k views
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I shouldn't have put this one off for so long - the pacing is terrible because I didn't give it the time and care I usually put into my work. Oh well. I still think it came out pretty good for the time crunch I worked under.
10807426
Like I said on Discord, you rush until it's done and then spend the days before the deadline editing things into shape so you aren't working under duress and you've got reader commentary to supplement your pre-reader's feedback. I trust you won't make the same error next time.
Sorry to say I thought this was a good story... right until the last chapter. The actual full on sex scene was skipped over, skipping to the aftermath and leaving the audience feeling proverbially blue-balled.
10808193
Y'know, that' s fair. I've removed the 'Porn' tag, because it's not really a big focus.
A bit short, wised it had had more development, but I did very much like the premise and the story in general, keep it up.
10807426
A great premise with a lot of (sexy and funny) potential. It's a shame that you had to rush to finish this. It came out very good under the circumstances. I'd still love to see what you could do with this idea with more time.
If not, I may have to, myself.
great story, loved every second, i hope you continue to work on it, maybe write out firelight realizing he's been ghosted and that threesome
maybe paint the morning scene too, but not including it can work too.
my point is, great job. add a little polish and it'll be even better, though it does feel like it's missing a chapter
i hope we get more stories about parties like this! I love this concept soooo much. even just one more story about what say Fluttershy was doing at the party would be fun
10810638
Yeah, that’s what I’m most interested in. Who Flutters ended up in. And who she ended up with.
Gotta say, I enjoyed this, despite the sudden cut at the last chapter. Also, now I'm just dying to know how the threesome went.
The base concept of an anonymous Apple fuck party is great! I love the "accidental incest" nature of the story, both Sunburst/Stellar and Starlight trying to keep her dad's body from fucking her body as another fun twist. So the core of the story is definitely good, it just needed a bit more time to bake.
Plus, we all know Fluttershy is easy, once you get her past the jitters. She probably sees herself like that in the mirror all the time.
Also, it just occurred to me that the threesome means Starlight was fucking her dad's body both physically and spiritually.
Really love the premise and the way things turned out! Any chance of expanding on the threesome in a separate chapter?
10856558
It's not impossible, but unlikely.
I can't get over how contrived the scenario is, the annual apple family party that half of ponyville attends where everyone swaps bodies for some no strings anonymous fucking
Granted, I don't have a better way to set up the incest scenario you're going for, which is a fun one
10935290
I don't often write things that depend on porn logic, but I wanted to write this, so... porn logic it became.
Giving this one a reread so I can get your sequel.