A Changeling Named Sin
Evolvers
Chrysalis, the once mighty queen of the changelings sat, crippled and rotting. Her head slowly swung back and forth looking for the mare she wished to find. All she could see, though, was blurred visions. Her blind state made Sin almost shaken. It was like staring into a statue, black and deteriorating due to rain and other natural occurrences.
“Cocoon, let me know it’s you… Please,” Chrysalis pleaded.
Sin gulped and chanted, “I am not this… Cocoon you speak of.”
The changeling queen smiled, and asked, “But it is you… My golden maned daughter… Right?”
If that wasn’t proof of her being this Cocoon, nothing was. She gulped, and explained, “I may be your daughter, but I am NOT Cocoon. My name is Sin… Princess Sin.”
A frown formed upon Chrysalis’s lips. Her mumbles grew smaller as she asked herself questions that Sin couldn’t hear. She looked up and blinked before asking, “How could you be a princess?”
Sin approached, feeling no threat now, she was sure the changeling was perfectly harmless. "How could she possibly be any danger now?" she asked herself as she sat. “When I was young, I was found hiding in the palace of Canterlot. Mother… you know her as Princess Celestia… she adopted me. She was going to execute me, but realizing I could not only be a vital source of information, but a good daughter as well, she spared me… took me under her wing, and treated me like family.”
Chrysalis gazed menacingly, almost like this was a sick, cruel joke to her. “You mean she adopted an Evolver?”
The word confused Sin beyond imaginable scales. “What’s this… Evolver you’re talking about?”
“Who did you kill, my spawn? It was a stallion, wasn’t it?!”
Sin’s mind raced with fear. She asked herself, "How did she know about that, and what’s an Evolver? Is it… “Tell me what you're talking about. Tell me everything.”
The demands were followed by an awkward pause. Sin sat there, confused and hoping for answers. Suddenly, from the bushes, Silver approached. The translucent, handsome being left the shrubs and stood there staring into the eyes of the one he once loved. Chrysalis noticed her daughter gazing past her and turned to see nopony there. She turned back and started her explanation while Sin just kept staring at the ghost of a guard.
“You see… there were more than one reason for us invading Canterlot. It was the strongest emotional area in all of Equestria. We didn’t just need love… We required all sorts of feelings, from hatred to curiosity. Love was vital, though. The reason for this was you, Cocoon. You are an evolved type of changeling. You’re gifted with abnormally unique traits. There are others like you who have varying abnormalities. Some absorb other emotions, but those are easily obtainable. It’s simple to make one curious or even loath you, but to get a pony to love you is a difficult thing…”
Sin looked into the eyes of her blood mother, now thoroughly lost in questions, but the queen simple continued. “You absorb love like no other… You’re like a conduit… You channel love nonstop, always absorbing the emotion. You can’t stop. There is no limit. Not only that, but where does it all go? It is collected and stored within your heart. In dire emergencies, when you need a sudden burst of energy, you summon great amounts of love, and use it to your whim. I think that if you learned to truly control your power, you’d be unstoppable."
Sin shook her head. "Impossible."
The queen laughed. "Magic comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but the best type of magic is love… Now, I brought you to Canterlot and hid you in the cell for safe keeping. You were dying, Cocoon… If you didn’t feed soon, you would have withered away into dust. This was something I simply couldn’t allow. I didn’t predict that me and my children would be thrown to the farthest reaches of Equestria, though… I looked for you, Regrouped with some of my children… only to have them... all... die.”
This made Sin’s mind stop functioning correctly. She looked into the almost unemotional eyes of Chrysalis and asked, “What d-did you say?!”
Chrysalis stood with trouble and began limping towards Silver Blade. She walked right through the stallion as though he was nothing more than a cloud of fog. As she did, she instructed her spawn to follow her. Sin obeyed the order and trotted through the trees. While they walked, Chrysalis kept explaining.
“You see, there was one who… well, let’s just say, he had an unquenchable thirst. Once he couldn’t ascertain love, hate; any and all emotions, he decided at a very young age to steal it from his fellow kin. It was five years ago, and he was the most powerful of all other evolved changelings. We would feed off the land, but his lust for energy became unsatisfactory. So, what did he do?”
Chrysalis pulled the curtains of leaves out of the path they ventured through to reveal long, skinny, triangle tomb stoned, all the same height as Sin. Each held a name, and old mounds of dirt that covered dead bodies of the once proud changeling race.
“He decided to take what he thought was rightfully his.”
Sin’s mind churned thanks to the area. At least one hundred tombs of her blood relatives surrounded the clearing. She tried her best not to faint from this. Chrysalis merely walked along the rows as if this didn’t bother her one bit. She reached the only one that stood away from the others, all the way at the end.
She turned to the following daughter and muttered, “This was what I’ve had to deal with… My children died only a few years after the invasion, but the Evolvers, just like the one that killed all these souls are still alive… Some might be pure hearted due to them only needing something like sunlight to survive, and others will definitely be more aggressive. Be on your guard Cocoon… My time has come. The age of the lower life changelings… is over. Evolvers walk everywhere now, in different parts of Equestria, and outside its boundaries… I don’t really care what you choose to do about it, but I have a feeling you ran from home because of the death of somepony.”
Sin gulped and said, “H-his name was… Silver Blade… He was my friend, and he gave his love to me with little regret. Shortly after that, he died.”
The queen nodded, and explained, “He lives within you… Now and forever, he will visit you in your dreams, in real life; Don’t be confused with him for being alive, though. He is past dead. He is long gone, but his soul resides within your heart. This is yet another power you contain. With all the love you’ve absorbed, you could live for over five thousand years, so long as you continue to consume actual food as well… Just remember that your friend will help you when you’re lonely, but you can never run from your problems, Cocoon. They will chase you through thick and thin. No matter where you go.”
The final warning was harsh, cold and unpredictable. Once it sank into her thoughts, Sin saw her mother slowly turn to grey ash. Her hooves grew bigger holes, and once Sin realized her mother was finally dying, she accepted the fact that she did love her, but couldn’t do anything to resolve this incident. The dust blew from the wind and onto her mane. Slowly, the mare withered into dirt.
All that remained at this point was the tomb stones. The death of Sin’s blood mother was unreal. She never knew things about herself, or her family, but now, things changed. Sin couldn’t think here; how could she? Being surrounded by the dead was making her claustrophobic, so much, in fact that she had to run. She needed to get out of the forest as quickly as possible.
Her galloping echoes chimed through the trees and branches while her haste increased. Wind whipped her face with stinging force. She ripped her way through the forest leaves and reached something that just might be able to calm her nerves.
Sand seeped through her holed hooves while they sank. The sound of waves mesmerized her into a peaceful state. Her huffs began to stop while her breath returned to an easier pace. A beach, sublime and paradise were her surroundings. Rocks held their position in a straight line above the water while the sea crashed against the shore. Everything that was running through this changeling’s mind would be able to be thoroughly processed with these landscape features.
Sitting on the edge of the rocks and looking out towards the ocean, her mind calculated the revelations smoothly and slowly. Her ghost of a friend, Silver blade, came from behind and sat next to her. She stared at him, seeing the mountains up ahead through his mane.
“So… You’re dead… But, you live within me.” He just sat, staring and taunting her with his gaze. “Can you… Speak?” He shook his head, making her sorrow grow. “Well, at least I can talk to you… That’s something, right? Look, I’m sorry for allowing you to love me…” Silver, once again shook his head, signaling he didn’t mind, nor did he care, but she continued anyway. “Silver, you died because of me… How I am supposed to explain the fact that I’m sorry if you won’t let me apologize?! Not only that, but I have to deal with your soul haunting my every location… How am I supposed to cope with this?”
His head reached over and pecked her on the forehead. Though she couldn’t feel it, she knew this to be real. Her mouth quivered as a tear ran down her cheek, and for all she had to put up with, this soul following her might not be too much of a bad thing. The only dilemma she faced was that if she ever killed somepony by sucking them dry of their love, she’d have another soul following, or even chasing her. She promised, though, then and there that she’d never let this happen again.
Intriguing.
Awaiting further releases.
Hah! I finish reading only to have another chapter pop up! But, I digress, this is sad.
Awesome chapter!
Already had an idea that she 'consumed' his soul
1534493 Yep.
Last I checked, Silver was a stallion.
1534506 WHOOPS! Fixed.
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/20339-MarioMaster02/339/122/after_the_banishment_by_johnjosecod46286k_display.jpg
continue.....
also, you won't guess what I just learned, completely on accident, after using chrome for sooo long.....
I found out that if you click, hold, and drag a tab away from your chrome browser, it'll open in a new window, i've been using chrome for so long, and i just now figured this out
but back to topic, so does this mean sin will never learn to control her thirst for emotion?
also, why do i get this feeling that war between evolvers and ponies is imminent.
So Chrysalis invaded Canterlot to feed her little girl.
1534636 And all the other Evolvers who needed other such emotions, yes.
Poor Chrysalis she had a good plan but bad execution
1534736 *She.
1534654 How many Evolvers there are?
Thousands? Or less like below 50?
You mentioned that some need something like sunlight to power them.
That would result in crazy powerful beings.
Also does this mean that there are Evolvers that work like normal ponies aka just need food?
Also [Dark] because Genocide?
OT: Pretty good chapter. Explained a lot of stuff while rising new questions.
1534742 fixed*
1534752 Dark... Yeah... It does need that now, I guess.
1534752Evolvers.............THERE CAN ONLY BE ONEEE!!!!!
Sin now has a mission, and I hope she doesn't go at it alone despite her "condition".
Really sad chapter sure as sure. Nice job there.
And now comes the waiting.
oh crap, shit's gon git kinda adventurous now, isnt it?
1534904 Mehbe...
i see a war... war of the evolver changelings...
This has a lot of promise. When I started the first couple chapters, I thought it was kind of choppy. But you've gotten a lot better, and I love reading this now. Thanks you for writing this
1535590 No problem!
>Author makes chapter that's 90% exposition, instead of spreading the exposition out over multiple chapters.
>My reaction:
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7567-tumblr_m8rf1eEzb41r84295o1_500.gif
1535654
Hory sheet!!! Dufex. Just happened? Chrysy bites the dust
1535668
Much of this chapter was spent with Chrysalis explaining everything about changelings like Sin, and nothing actually happened. Seriously. Exposition and backstory is important, but when you take an entire chapter just to explain it without any warning... it's not exactly wanted.
Just like cliffhangers - important for building suspense, but nobody likes it when they get overused.
1535709 It's how I write... How could've I given warning? Anyway, just feel free to continue reading future chapters if you wish. This was the revelations chapter. Others won't be like this.
She's a god damned succubus!!!
War... it's coming isnt it?
So now Sin must track down the other Evolvers (insert random plot element here!) and ascertain if they are indeed a threat or not. Where-upon she will do battle with those that pose a threat to her family and Equestria as a whole using her soul-sucking love powers, in an attempt to find self-redemption for the life she inadvertently consumed.
Or something like that... still, no clue how to ya know... Turn off the siphon?
1535654 She cleans them, with Wubs, Euh.
Good! Ah Liek it!!
1535719
I would say that is the "problem" , he prefers to find out bit by bit about the world you make instead of having no idea what is really going on in the story, then one chapter dedicated to info and thats it about info and world building.
But i dont really mind and you at least properly explained it, if Chrysalis was the only changeling left (besides this new evolvers) then ain't nobody else around to explain it.
But you could have streched it out a bit, maybe let Sin take care of Chrysalis for a bit, hoping she recovers, then death comes anyway.
This chapter made me sad about what I first thought when I saw all the Changelings invading Canterlot. In case your wondering the first thing to come to my mind was 'Where's my shotgun?' and then I started thing of all the one liners I could use in such a situation.
Anyways great chapter and can't wait till Sin has a showdown with one of the other Evolvers.
A little clunky to read, some odd word choices here and there, and it felt like Sin overreacted emotionally in a few places. It also seemed a bit rushed. That isn't enough to make me stop reading it though. Interesting concept here, and I look forward to seeing what happens next.
Fairly certain the word should be past.
1535668 I think what he's trying to say is "show, don't tell", trite and cliche, but it is a more entertaining method of writing, for both reader and writer.
1536293 In all its glory, and all its horror.
So now Sin is going to be going about trying to track down the evolvers, while still being tracked by the Royal Canterlot Guard.
1539401 Fixed, and Eeyup!
Let this poor child have peace in this cruel world
1540639 Never.
1540642
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png
1540655 I know... I'm an evil man... Blog posting time!
I like the idea. I wish the soul of my past love would follow me but she can't
this promises to be interesting. there should be one that feeds on moonlight
Why U make me sad?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Queen_Chrysalis.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png
1562752 Too sad? I understand.
1534846 One dream, one soul, one prize , one goal ^^
I love your fic. You created a great OC with a compelling story. Excusme wile I shed some manly tears from this chapter.
I love this story so much! Keep up the good work! Heck I might to a fan-fic reading on youtube because I love it so much Art Inspired I love you... in a very not weird way
Hm... read this story from first chapter.... and I must say I find Silver Blade to be just as Sin says, even as a mere 'soul'. He's a fool, an idiot whom insists on being oblivious to the pain he's bringing upon the pony-raised changeling... I may be jumping at shadows, but it seems like a... selfish... love... and I realize as I type that tge statement did not make sense.
Otherwise... normally I mind a bunch of exposition in a single chapter, but here... I think it works.
This remains my favorite story by you. I presents the reader with a difficult moral choice... not unlike The Lady and the Tiger. It both disturbed me and fascinated me on many levels. Well done, Art.
1614935 Grazie, for both the comment and the watch!