Just a brony here nothing to see just wanna get a lot of fantasies ideas out of my head also there will be hella game and anime references so be ready and remember the darkness is your friend
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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ok so this is my fist time I welcome feedback but please be respectful
If I may ask, what plans you have for Spike in this?
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I thought about putting him in the main tabs because he is going to play a big role in the story but I do have some plans for him
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Like what plans?
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🤫 I can’t spoil the surprise silly
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Well ok then
How the next chapter going?
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Soon just doing some little things here and there
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Ok
Whats gonna happen with Princess Luna too?
What’s so beastly about the angels of Diablo?
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I’ve been trying to find a better cover art
Cool chapter my dude apart from a few grammatical errors it is good story and I look forward to more of your work
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Thanks man
You have a great promise hope you continue the story and get better at this and I’m going to enjoy reading your stories
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Thanks alot for that bro
I would like to first say that I binged through the entire story so my critic is just all over the place and in general. The overall concept and how u did it especially explaining on both ur character and the story was well done, some might call it cringe but that's the execution not the potential for it could, and experience tend to curve it after a while.
The only thing that can't be ignored is ur spelling and structure. ur spelling could be easily fixed by placing the text in Microsoft Word or google docs, and lastly ur structuring for paragraphs I feel that some went too long, especially with ur last chapter describing the 6 ponies.
Overall it's fine and tbf u dont have to take my critics, it's ur story and I think it is good as it is currently.
Pretty sweet this is continuing.
But bummed that Spike missed out on first contact though
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I appreciate your criticism bc I’m always looking for ways to improve so thank you
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Oh, don’t worry I have something planned for spike
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Ok then.
How is it going?
What will happen next?
This is really good. And that's saying something.... Usually most of the fics I read can never draw my interest on the first chapter. Can't wait to read more.
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Thank you so much means a lot
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No problem, love
Oh snap, I didn't know a new chapter was posted.
Wonder why didn't this site notify me?
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Was wondering the same thing??
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And it happened again with another fic I was following too just yesterday,
I wonder how the hell the Mane Six and the two royal sisters are the "good guys" in this situation, when their guards did intolerated crap like this!?
So UNDISCIPLINED!
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Don’t worry they finna learn
The Princesses should be so freaking disappointed that they have somepony being this pure evil in their own ranks!?
If only the main OC actually informed them about this?
Luna would most likely be mad at Celestia for not keeping a closer eye on her guards if one of the captains were so vile and such.
Interesting just hold on emojis. I know it was for a joke but they can be distracting. But seems like this could be fun.
What happened to these ""?
It will be very hard to tell who's talking without these "" on?
Also, now that they know he is just like them, but very different.
The Arachnes didn't apologize for that unnecessary hostility. Regardless, he can still help save the mother/wife and make the hunters pay.
BTW, does the Princesses/Mane Six actually know that the "Captain" is a total scumbag!?
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Ok to answer ur 1st I’m finna edit that mistake and second the Arachne are right behind griffins in terms of anger issues and no they don’t know that the captain is a total ass yet
Good chapter can't wait for more
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Of course
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I'm going to assume Celestia is going to do something stupid and get her self hurt
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🤫🤫
Celestia should probably listen to that warning.
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Most likely, she only cares about her ponies after all, in her eyes they can do no wrong... it will do Equuis some good if she was smacked down a peg... or 20, and given a reality check.
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Oh how right u r