The Pink Tax
Starlight looks up from her desk as she hears somepony enter her room in a rush.
Pinkie frantically shuts the door. "Starlight, have you paid your taxes?"
Starlight asks, "No, what are you talking about?"
Pinkie walks over to Starlight's desk. "The Pink Tax."
"What is that?"
"It's a tax on pink ponies."
"That's ridiculous, there's no way that is real."
"It is real, and I'm not paying this year!"
"How are you going to do that?"
"I don't know yet."
"Why pink?"
"It's the most common color: coat, mane, tails, cutie mark, it's everywhere."
"That seems crazy, like putting a tax on being cute."
"Don't give them ideas! That would ruin Fluttershy."
As if on cue, Fluttershy entered Starlight's office.
Fluttershy asks, "Hello, is this where I pay my taxes?"
Pinkie says, "No, but you should skip paying with me!"
"I couldn't do that, I want to be a good citizen."
Starlight asks, "Doesn't it seem a bit colorist to single out pink?"
Fluttershy says, "Well, I guess so."
Pinkie exclaims, "Exactly."
Before anypony could speak, another pony entered the room, Twilight.
Pinkie asked, "Don't tell me you're here to pay the pink tax."
Twilight says, "I am, is this the right spot?"
"There's barely any pink on you."
"I only pay every three years, this year I was up."
Pinkie drops her head, face planting the desk.
Pinkie lifts her head. "I am not paying."
Twilight contests, "That's illegal."
"I'll find a way."
"Why don't you want to pay?"
Pinkie laments, "I've been paying my whole life, and it's not fair. One-hundred and fifty bits a year adds up."
"I guess I never questioned it because that was how things always were."
"Every three years probably makes it more forgettable."
"Yeah."
A fourth pony enters the room, Sweetie Drops. She says, "I'm here to pay my pink tax, this must be the right place."
Pinkie says annoyed, "Why is everypony okay with this?"
Everypony shrugged.
Pinkie says, "Join me, evade the pink tax, send them a message."
Nopony seemed to care.
Diamond Tiara enters the room amidst the silence.
Pinkie is outraged. "They're taxing children now! How can you stand for this?"
Diamond Tiara says, "So, this is the right place."
Pinkie asks, "Isn't your father the tax collector?"
"Yes, he's probably on his way now."
Pinkie sighs before the Cutie Mark Crusaders enter the room.
Pinkie asks, "Pink Tax?"
Sweetie Belle answers, "Yes, this is it, girls."
"How? I understand you, but Scootaloo and Applebloom, they're not pink!"
The two mentioned fillies show their cutie marks, pointing to the tiny pink spots.
Pinkie is in disbelief, asks, "Seriously? You have to pay for that?"
Applebloom says, "We figured it'd be best to pay, you know, rather be safe than sorry."
Scootaloo says, "Sweetie Belle says we should only have to pay like every six years, since we barely have any pink."
The room went silent as Pinkie looked around the room. "What about Mayor Mare, where is she? She has a pink mane."
Sweetie Belle spoke up, "I think she doesn't have to pay because she dyes her mane gray."
Pinkie bemoans, "That't not fair, you know how hard it would be to dye my entire coat, mane, and tail!"
Twilight ponders aloud, "I wonder if Shinning has to pay? He has a small pink star on his cutie mark."
Moments later, he walked in the room, along with Princess Cadence and Flurry Heart.
Twilight asks, "Do you all have to pay the tax too?"
Cadence answers, "Yes, it's nice to see you again."
Twilight and Cadence do their special dance.
Pinkie says, "I can't believe this, the princesses of love and friendship have to pay a tax for having pink on them."
Twilight just shrugs. "It's the law."
Pinkie asks, "Does Flurry Heart have to pay?"
Shinning Armor answers, "I believe so."
Pinkie drops her head on the desk in disbelief. "Who's next, Princess Celestia?"
It was, in fact, Celestia. She came into the room and the whole room bowed in her presence.
Pinkie's mouth hung open is shock.
Pinkie spoke, "No, no, no, no, no. There is no way you have to pay the pink tax."
Celestia spoke, "Ah, so this is the right place."
"This doesn't make any sense," Pinkie says.
Twilight asks, "Princess Celestia, why do you have to pay, isn't it your law?"
Celestia chuckles. "No, Princess Luna created the law."
Twilight asks, "Why?"
"Over a thousand years ago, Luna and I got into an argument over something silly, she decided to make a law to spite me."
Pinkie interjects, "Why haven't you removed it?"
Celestia laments, "I left it as a memento while she was gone."
Starlight interrupts, "So, let me get this straight, you left a law that taxes pink ponies for being pink, so you could remember your sister?"
Pinkie interjects, "For over a thousand years, I might add."
Celestia answers, "Yes, it was rather silly of me. I should have abolished it a long time ago. I'm sorry, my little ponies."
Pinkie asked, "Well, can you remove it now, princess?"
"I suppose I could. Since she's returned, there is no need for the law. I would have to wait till next year to remove it, though, this tax season has already begun. So, I'm afraid we will have to pay for one more year."
Pinkie sits in thought for a moment before a devious grin spread on her face. "Maybe not."
Filthy Rich opened the door to Starlight Glimmer's office, walking inside, he closes the door behind him.
Looking around the room, he finds a single pink alicorn sitting in the middle of the room.
"Pink Tax?" the pink alicorn asks in an annoyed tone.
"Yes, shouldn't there be more ponies?"
"They aren't pink anymore."
"How?"
"They all dyed their coats, mane, and tails."
"What about you?"
"I'm Princess Luna… they dyed me pink."
"Oh, well, let's see, mane, coat, tail, cutie mark, that'll be two-hundred bits, princess."
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This was quite funny. I enjoyed it.
A tax on pink? That's such a cute silly premise haha.
Damn most the ponies are lucky they get to avoid paying it most the time since they dont have too much pink on them, but pinkie is 100% pink so she gets the worst of the tax full force every year lol
You're really good with these short stories, awesome job again!
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Thank you!
Also that's such a cute pixel cover, I see what you did there hehe, love it!
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well written to keep it at exactly 1000 words
This was very goofy fun, I love the final solution they come to. Well done. n_n
Everyone is pink on the inside.
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Not so! Her eyes and cutie marks are, other colors. (But yeah, she does get hit petty-hard by the tax.)
Enjoyable story. Perfect chaos.
And enjoy a song about pink while you're at it.
hm, ok so let's say pinkie is 30 here, and if say she was paying the tax herself since moving the ponyville, say age ten for simplicity, that would mean her parents paid 1500 bits in total while Pinkie paid 3000 bits herself, well 2850 since she's bailing on this year
Unrealistic. Royalty would never pay taxes willingly! Good funny story to start my morning
I feel the dialogue could have run a little smoother. Still an entertaining story nonetheless! Have an upvote!
They did a little trolling to Luna
Well, it was funny, and have the little non-sense of the canon series, maybe they should had made a episode like this.
Perfect amount of silly and also something that could probably have been canon too. The idea of pink Lulu is brilliant :D
This is absolutely brilliant. Adorable with a twist ending. Big thumbs up from me!
Wasn't sure to expect before reading it... but it was surprisingly great with a clever twist ending. Well done!
haha, this was brilliant!
That's was cute I would be so upset though
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Did you know that even though she was exempt, Queen Elizabeth II voluntarily paid income tax on her private earnings each and every year of her reign? It's expected that Charles will continue this practice.
(She didn't pay taxes on her royal and noble estate earnings, but that's because an even larger chunk of that income has long been placed at the disposal of the government.)
ahaha okay i already love this deranged concept, and what a great way to bring Pinkie and Starlight together
so true
ah, so that’s how it works with ponies that have only a little pink!
that does sound like a lot of bits
aww, of course the former secret agent dutifully pays her taxes no matter how ridiculous
ahahaha
rip. and that spot is from Sweetie Belle in the first place!
hehe nice. also very fun that the only canon government official evades taxes
of course they do!
aww, this actually makes sense as an explanation somehow, amazing!
always love it when she says “my little pony[ies]
ehehe nice!
a very fun one, thank you for writing!
This isn’t just a one-note joke. This is a one-note joke performed by someone repeatedly hammering on a single piano key while staring at the audience with uncomfortable intensity until they laugh.
If that’s an oddly specific image, well, this is an oddly insistent story, just crowding in every even remotely pink pony you could think of—I don’t think they can even all fit in Starlight’s office—until the plot hit critical mass and yielded a conclusion. I can’t even call it a punchline given the amount of internal effort needed to explain it.
Sorry, but this one just didn’t land for me. Still, thank you for entering.
I kinda agree with FoME's comment saying that this is a one-note joke, but unlike him, I find it funny.
Love the ending. (Spoiler alert.)
1.bp.blogspot.com/-yVKL6l-knho/Vj_HX9A_X1I/AAAAAAAAAQA/_TrxhKApxi4/s1600/Castle_Creator_Princess_Luna_pink_makeover.png