It was just a normal day, just like every other. Well, if you could consider my life normal, than it would be. It started just like every other day, I wake up at 6, eat breakfast and head off to work. I like my job, and I always have, I work at a toy store, selling toys to little fillies of all ages. I love working with children, and I always have too… My name is Erin Star.
To everypony else, my name is Erin, but to me and a few others it’s Aaron. Its odd having a stallions’ name, especially when you’re a mare, but I've dealt with it for thirty six years, and ill continue to. Before I was born, my parents just had a feeling that I was going to be a colt, so when I was born, they named me Aaron without thinking twice. When they found out I wasn't a colt, they were quite disappointed, so they decided to have another child, My younger brother Jack.
Throughout my childhood, I dealt with Jack always being their favorite. I didn't mind though, mostly because he was MY favorite family member too. And that’s where my love of kids came from.
Like I said before, I love my job, but I have a strange feeling about something.
The odd ponies that walk around in lab coats have been acting weird. Yes, I now they’re just scientists, but they have been acting weirder than they normally do. All this has gotten me worried, I don’t know why, but I know something is wrong. I just can’t but my hoof on it…
“ERIN!!!!!”
“Wha what?” I must've dozed off, I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.
“Erin, C'mon, you have worked for me for twenty years, You've been my most loyal employee, and you chose Now to slack off”
“Oh, oh… I’m sorry Boss, I haven’t got much sleep lately, I've been being distracted by something”
He lets out a sigh, “Now what could that be, miss?”
“Its all the scientists around lately, they've been acting strange”
“HA!!” he pauses, “Of course they’re strange, they’re scientists… And I assure you, you have nothing to worry about”
“Ok sir, ill get back to work.”
“Ha, I know you will”
I ring up a toy for a mare and her daughter as my boss walks into his office , laughing about those “Strange” “Scientists”…
I can’t blame him, it’s not like any other ponies are thinking about it the same way as I am, they’re just going on with their happy lives, just like they always have, and probably always will. It is I strange feeling, I just KNOW, that’s something is wrong, but I cant figure out what, or why. You just have to know that feeling, something is just not right, but what is it. It’s like you can feel that somepony is watching you, you just don’t know whom it is…
I have managed to doze off again, maybe I am over thinking this, its like I’m talking to somepony In my head, but I know nopony is there… Am I going insane? No. I can’t be, I’m only thirty six, why would I be going insane, its not like there is something to go insane over…
Third time I've dozed off, it’s a good thing my boss hasn't seen the past two times, and thank Celestia that my shift is almost over.
This has been the first time in twenty years I have been glad, even grateful, to have had my shift end. I don’t know what’s up, I’m just so confused.
As I walk out through the back door, I say goodbye to my boss, and judging by his expression, he’s glad that its closing time too. He just thinks I need some rest and I’ll get over all this, but I don’t think so… A good night sleep doesn't sound too bad though.
I’m walking home and I look up at the sky. It’s a cloudless night, and all the stars are shining brightly. I always loved living here, I've been to big places like Canterlot before, and at night there’s just so many lights, you cant even point out a single star. It seems like large cities never sleep, running perpetually day and night, never even stopping for a quick rest. Here though, when it gets dark, ponies retreat from their doings and make for their houses. To come back to their occupations in the morning, fully rested. I always loved living in small places, they just feel right. When I first moved out of my parents’ house, I went to Manehatten, and a month later I moved again, to a much more “Homey” place. I moved here when I was only sixteen, and I've been here ever since.
Ponyville, such a wonderful place. A small quiet town, amidst a huge bustling world.
I make it home, and I open the door. My house is just the way I left it this morning. I slump into the couch and I turn on the television, I almost never pay attention to it, why would I? I live in a small town virtually oblivious to the world around us. A decent few know of the outside world, but for some this is all they've ever known, or ever will. Most of the time I just have the television on to make it seem less lonely, I live alone and most of the time other ponies don’t come over.
It feels so weird, I have the feeling that I’m being watched, even though I know I’m not. It’s been like that for the past week, like somepony is studying me, just out of my view. Am I going insane? I don’t think so… I could be…
I look at the television, some mindless cartoon is playing. I shift my gaze to the dark window, and then back at the screen…
I turn it off and walk to my room. I stare at the ceiling for a while, then to the clock, and then I roll over and fall asleep.
A rustling from outside. A shadow shifts in the window… And all is silent.
This morning began just as every other; Well besides the fact that it’s raining. I wake up, go to the kitchen and get a drink. I get a mug of my morning coffee. I never finish a pot of coffee in one day so on Monday, it’s fresh, but the rest of the week its cold and flavorless. I’m not one to waste things, but it might be a good idea not to drink week old coffee every Sunday. After a drink, I take a shower. I let the warm water soak through my mane. The shower, the one place I don’t fell like I’m being watched… Thankfully.
Today is particularly wet and dreary, so for once in a while, I actually used my old jacket. As I step out, the regular ponies are doing their morning things. They are all in warm clothing just as I. I walk down the street and I look at the sky, It isn't a very bright and cheery day at all. The sky is grey, with ought even a patch of blue, or ever white for that matter. I make my way further down the street, until I reach the main square. Not many ponies, but a few are scurrying around doing there business. I walk up to the shop, unlock the door and walk in. I’m always alone in the morning, my boss doesn't get here till noon. Whereas I get here at seven. I don’t see another soul all morning. Usually mornings are slow, but today the weather made it even worse.
I don’t see nopony until Three, a father buying a last minute birthday gift for his son. I like it when parents buy gifts for there children, it shows the kids that their parents love them. When I was little, I almost never got much. All my parents’ focus was on Jack. I went through life knowing they loved Jack more than me. I’m not saying they didn't love me, I know they did. Sometimes I loved Jack more than them too. It was hard, but I-
CRASH!!!
I jump, But then I realize it was just thunder. I hadn't noticed that outside the steady drizzle had turned into a ferocious downpour. It looks like I’m going to be here a while…
I lose track of time… I have been staring at the clock for hours. I cant tell what time it is anymore though. Its broken… It just keeps going ahead five seconds… and then back. The second hand has been bouncing between the eleven and twelve for hours, But the other hands wont budge…
I get more tired every minute.(or what I think is a minute) I can’t tell if its night or not, The cloudy sky has been preventing me from knowing all day.
I am almost asleep…
I look to the door… Nothing.
I look at the clock… Nothing.
I hear the bell! I look at the door… Nothing…
Am I going insane? I might as all well be. I’m slowly slipping…
I collapse to the floor and doze off,
But before I’m out,
I see a dark shadow looming over me…
I come to my senses… I look around.
It reminds me of a hospital, the walls are white, the floors are whit… Everything is white.
I slowly get up. I feel drowsy… I slowly walk to the door. It’s locked…
I jiggle the knob… Nothing.
I look around. A key! I walk over to the table and grab it.
Luckily, it worked.
I step out into a hallway… More white. I keep walking…
Every step seems like a lifetime in this never ending hallway. When will it end?
I feel a sharp pain in my flank… But before I can turn around…
I collapse.
I see quality writing here. I'd love to see where this goes.
not bad ... maybe you could increase the pace a bit, but otherwise pretty good
Eeenteresting . . .
Don't worry about using an OC; better an OC that fits than a canon character that doesn't.
"Erin/Aaron" seems like an unusual name for a pony, but if we have Donut Joe, I guess it's not bad.
A couple of minor typos ("ill" for "will," "Three" unnecessarily capitalized, and one or two others), but overall, very good.
1390960 Sorry about the typos, I do this without a proofreader so if I don't slap some sense into myself once in a while than nobody else can.
I am quite happy to see the positive comments because for some reason, I was thinking my writing skill went downhill in the time between my first Fic and this one.
1390945 I don't even know if i could make this fast paced... It isn't some sort of super-action-death-drama that will have you on the edge of your seat.( Or Desk... Couch, Floor, Bed, Etc)
I am not certain what exactly to call it... Adventure, sort of. Action, not really. Comedy, I honestly don't know what could possibly be funny about going insane. It is more of a "Thinkin Fic" And that is probably the best way I could describe this catastrophe of brain mush and words.
1421331 ohh., believe me, if I want I can go to mindless-fast-paced-action-of-death-and-destruction in no time. I would accept bets to go there from your story-point on
and when did I question you about your tagging of the story? I don´t remember doing that ...
Just to recall the story a bit, you´r main character is in somewhat like an Imaginary world and slowly reality breaks through to him ... jepp, already got 2 Ideas to get this to mindless action.
1423318 Ha! I can see very clearly that you thought She (not he) was already insane, and how easily it would be to get into mindless action from there. I never actually thought about it that way. But this story is something a little more different than that. (Honestly, your idea actually makes much more sense than mine does) But that wont have me just change the whole future of this fic based on somebody else's idea. Although you did help me in a way... I really hope this isn't giving away to much about the future, but... Um... I mustn't speak more, it would be too easy to give away secrets.
And I wasn't referring to any questions about tagging, I was actually referring to what i said, not you
*sniffs* you said I make sense *sniff* I don´t wanna ... *sleeps*
anyways, I was recalling the storry from memory, so I propably had added/removed minor part in my mind ... she´s not insane already? well, that killed my expectations. not that I would care. but I mean, that part with "more and mor doctors" and then the scene were everypony suddenly isn´t there anymore and the clock stopped ... meeh, watever.
1424166 ohh, also I like to se the not-so obvious version that you are obviously going to write ....
1428389 Well then.. Your wish will be granted...![:moustache:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/moustache.png)