I Remember...But I Don't Want To

by Willow NightSong24

Why Would You Want To Remember?

She was looking for glopaz crystals with her father like they always did on Wednesdays after her father was done for the day in The Crystal Tea Room. When her father was inspecting some crystals, explaining his secret about when glopaz crystals soak in the tea for a bit, they accentuate the flavor of the tea, she saw a bunnicorn and followed it to the wishing tree, though she didn't see the door. The door wasn't actually a part of her memories, but rather a premonition of the door she was to find that would help her find her family, even though she ended up using it to help Sparky.

She felt oddly drawn to the tree like it was calling her, but then she thought she felt somepony behind her. But when she turned around, nopony was there. But what she did see, however, was the mist. It was then she realized she couldn't see her father anymore and she felt as though there was something with her. Another presence hiding in the fog.

"Hello? Is anypony there?" She asked in her filly voice.

"Misty!" The voice who she now knew was her father called back.

"I'm right here!" She answered desperately to find her father.

"Misty! Come back!" Her father called again.

She tried to run in the direction of her father's voice but was cut off by a wisp of fog. She turned around and ran in the opposite direction, hoping to circle back. "Why can't they hear me?" Misty asked herself, beginning to panic.

She skidded to a stop when she saw more fog. She turned and high-tailed it in the other direction, only to stop just before another wall of fog. She wasn't sure why she was scared. She wasn't scared of anything. Cliff jumping. Fire eating. She'd done all of that without an ounce of fear. Her father always told her she was the bravest filly he knew. But for some reason she couldn't name, she was terrified of this fog.

It wasn't because the fog was thick or that she couldn't see through it, it was because, to her at least, it looked alive. Like it was a crowd of reaching hooves, trying to grab her. To hurt her. She had a feeling that despite how innocent and normal this fog looked, if she were to touch it, it'd hurt her. She didn't know how, and she was aware of how absurd it sounded, but she wasn't going to take that chance.

"Misty! Where are you?" She heard her father call again.

"I'm here!" She began running in different directions, but each time, she was cut off by the fog. Finally, the fog surrounded her on all sides, and it was growing ever closer. "Help me!"

She crouched down in a ball, as though that would make her invisible to the living fog. It closed in closer and closer, Misty sobbing the whole time. Then she saw a flash of purple light behind her eyelids.

She looked up, startled, to find the fog completely gone. But she also wasn't by the wishing tree in Bridlewood either. Actually, Misty didn't think she was in Bridlewood at all. She didn't know where she was, but it wasn't Bridlewood. She was on a hillside, a rocky cliff on one side, and a field of grass on the other.

"H-hello?" She called out, hoping somepony would hear and help her. But she had the feeling there wasn't anypony for miles. "Daddy!"

Suddenly, a purple unicorn with things on her back appeared in front of her in a puff of purple smoke. Misty swallowed nervously as the odd unicorn inspected her. Misty still lay on her tummy, ears flattening, using her hooves to push herself back. She'd never seen a pony so tall. This odd unicorn was even a couple of hoofsteps taller than her dad.

The tall purple unicorn smiled down at Misty, though it wasn't warm like her father's, but rather cold and sinister. "Yes. You will do nicely." The unicorn said to herself.

Then, the purple unicorn swept her up and unfurled the things on her back, taking off high into the sky. Misty's heart stopped as she realized what was happening. She now knew what those things on the unicorn's back were and what they were made of, though she dared not say it, even in her head.

She began to squirm in the cursed unicorn's hooves. She didn't care if this pony was trying to help her, she was bad news. And she didn't care if the odd unicorn dropped her and she plummeted to her death. Her father taught her well, and she had to get away from this mare before she cursed all of Bridlewood.

"Ugh, will you stop squirming?" The cursed unicorn growled. The unicorn then swerved a bit and dropped a little in altitude. "You're going to make me crash!" She yelled through gritted teeth.

"No!" Misty shouted back in her young filly voice. "You're jinxie!"

The mare gave her a confused look. "Jinxie?"

Who was this mare? Clearly, she was a unicorn, so how did she not know about the jinxies? Every unicorn in Bridlewood knew about the jinxies. Unless she wasn't from Bridlewood. Misty gasped at the other possibility. Or maybe she was jinxed. Maybe this was her curse. Adopting the very thing that the unicorns jinxed, causing the unicorns to outcast her to save the village. She said a bad word and this was her curse! Maybe a side effect of the curse was that she couldn't even remember what jinxies were, causing her to jinx other unsuspecting unicorns, wandering all by themselves, just like Misty!

"Those...those..." Misty tried to find a word for them that wasn't jinxed but came up empty. "Things on your back and what they're made of. They're jinxie, let me go!" Misty squirmed harder, but the mare's grasp merely tightened.

"You mean my wings and feathers? What are you on about? And what in the hay are jinxies?" The mare asked in disbelief.

Misty gasped and immediately stopped squirming at those words. Those were bad words. Obviously, she couldn't do the dance that warded off bad luck, since she was in the air and being held by the mare, but she could say the words. Her father always told her something was better than nothing. "Bing bong! Bing bong! Bing bong! Bing bong!"

"What are you doing now?" The mare asked incredulously, as though horrified.

"Warding off the bad luck. You said bad words. Jinxie words. Doing this wards off the curse." Misty explained. "Bing bong! Bing bong!" She started chanting again, hoping the extra chanting would make up for the lack of the dance.

The purple mare groaned. "Ugh, you unicorns have always been superstitious, but this is a whole new low."

Misty ignored the unicorn, only continuing her chanting. She was not going to be cursed because she was unable to do the dance.

The purple mare growled loudly. "Ugh, enough of your infernal CHANTING!" The mare yelled. "It's giving me a headache!"

The filly immediately shut up, cowering in the mysterious mare's hooves in fear. The mare stopped moving, simply flapping those things that shall not be named, hovering in the air. "Now, you listen here you insolent brat, I am your queen, Opaline Arcana! A fire alicorn! It is not wise to test a fire alicorn's patience! If I hear any more of this 'jinxie' nonsense, you won't have to worry about the stupid fake curses they bring because I will curse you right then and there and it will be real! Is that understood?"

Misty nodded quickly, her mouth clamped shut in fear. She didn't know why, but this Opaline scared her more than the jinxies. Maybe she was the jinxies reincarnated. Whatever it was, Misty felt that this fire alicorn possessed great power and she did not want to test it, lest she feel that power's wrath.

The two of them flew quite a distance until they reached an imposing dark castle on a cliffside. Opaline flew in through a window, into a massive room that had purple marble floors, a giant pool in the middle of the floor that sparkled and shined and was a little too still to be natural, and a huge chair that looked like a throne.

Was Opaline really a queen as she claimed? Misty's never seen a throne before, or royalty. And she'd never heard of the name Queen Opaline before. She very vaguely knew that the vicious pegasi were ruled by a royal family, and the smelly earth ponies had a system similar to Bridlewood's, but a tad less strict, mostly because they weren't the brightest crystals in the forest. Was she the pegasi's queen? She was definitely vicious enough. And she had those things on her back. It would also explain why she didn't know about the jinxies. But, then why did she have a horn on her head? She did say she was a fire alicorn. Was she the queen of fire? Or fire alicorns? Were there other fire alicorns?

Opaline landed in front of a large tree if it could be called that, Misty didn't notice before. It was growing along the wall, as though the castle was built around it. It looked dead, its bark brittle. It had barely had any leaves and the few leaves it did have were dried and broken. The roots were the healthiest-looking part, though that wasn't saying much. They looked ready to snap at the slightest touch, but at least they weren't as gray-looking as the rest of the tree.

Opaline held Misty out, as though as an offering to the dead-looking tree, before roughly setting Misty on her hooves in front of it. Misty glanced at the fire alicorn, who had her hooves crossed over her chest, hovering in the air, before turning around to face the tree.

She wasn't sure what Opaline wanted her to do, but she had a feeling something was supposed to happen. Still, though, everything remained as it was. She heard Opaline sigh irritatedly behind her, and Misty quickly racked her brain for something to do to make something—anything—happen. She didn't want to upset this fire alicorn who apparently held immense power.

So, desperate, Misty slowly walked up to the poor tree, sat down in front of it, and began stroking its roots. They felt frail and rough, so unlike the trees she saw in Briddlewood, and she knew from experience that this tree was sick.

She didn't know what to do. Did the fire alicorn expect her to heal it? In Bridlewood, if a tree got anywhere near this sick, which wasn't often, they'd set that part of the forest on fire, in hopes of burning and cleansing out the disease before it reached the other trees, only after asking the Great Mother for permission first. They did live in her forest after all, and if they made her unhappy, she could flush them out as they did with tree diseases.

Unicorns were taught to always treat the forest and nature within and around it with respect and care so they could continue living there. To use the environment as their home, to never take more than they need, and most importantly, to leave their forest more beautiful than when they got there, without being destructive to it.

Is that what Opaline wanted Misty to do? To burn the tree to free it from disease. Misty doubted that, but she didn't know what else the fire alicorn wanted from her. She glanced back at Opaline with fear-filled eyes, only to see the fire alicorn inspecting her with an observant look, like one was forced to study a frog they found gross. Misty stared back, confused.

Opaline then curled her upper lip and picked Misty up from the floor. Misty screamed, thrashing, trying to get out of Opaline's arms.

"Wait, I'll do what you want me to! I'll fix the tree!" Misty yelled desperately.

The fire alicorn simply rolled her eyes. "If you did what I wanted you to do, you would've done it by now. Though, I may have other uses for you." Opaline said to herself, almost thoughtfully.

"Just please, let me go home! I miss Daddy!" Misty screamed.

She just wanted to go back to Bridlewood, wherever that was, and find her Daddy. He'd make this mean alicorn go away. Ponies were sometimes scared of her Daddy, and when he wanted to, he could look very menacing. He'd scare the alicorn away and save her.

The purple fire alicorn pulled her close, and whispered in her ear, "You are home..."

---

Misty woke up with a start, gasping. Her breath was heavy, sweat covered her body. This wasn't the first time Misty woke up to having a nightmare while in the Brighthouse, but this one was by far the worst. Because this wasn't just any nightmare. It was a memory.

The day Misty went missing and Opaline found her was the second worst day of her life. The worst day of her life was the day she stole Sparky. Thank hoofness she stole Sparky at night. It wasn't until the next day her friends noticed Sparky was missing, the day she got her cutie mark, the best day of her life. Though stealing Sparky and getting her cutie mark were related in events, at least they weren't related by day.

But this memory had nothing good about it. The only reason she wanted to remember it in the first place was to find her family. And she did. She found her father, Alphabittle, owner of the Crystal Tea Room. But even her father never mentioned that day. It was an unspoken rule between them and one in all of Bridlewood. The closest a pony came to mentioning that day was by acknowledging the fact that she was filly-napped in the first place. And even that was pushing it.

It wasn't that she and her father were trying to pretend that the last decade with Opaline didn't exist. They both knew it did and that it happened. It was just now with Opaline defeated, there was no reason to bring it up. It only caused heartache and pain, so why mention it?

However, in this memory dream, she remembered more about that day, more about the memories she suppressed. However, it wasn't exactly she who suppressed them.

She shook her head. She didn't want to think about that. But, she couldn't exactly go back to sleep either. Despite defeating Opaline, she was still scared just thinking of her. But she knew if she lived with Opaline for over a decade and survived, she could face Allura with her friends. Though, that didn't mean she wanted to think about Opaline.

She climbed out of bed slowly, creeping through the bedroom. She looked at all her friends' beds, hoping she didn't wake any of them up, but found they were all still fast asleep. She crept down the ramp and into the kitchen for a cup of water.

Upon arriving, she froze in her tracks. Humming to herself in front of the stove with a tea kettle on it, and a teacup in her magic was a blue-maned lavender unicorn. There was a pile of tea leaves broken up into tiny pieces, and a glopaz crystal in the teacup.

Misty smiled a bit. She taught that little secret trick to Izzy. The same one her dad taught her, though she made Izzy swear up and down the unity crystals that she wouldn't tell another soul. It was a trade family secret. While she considered all five of her friends her family, including baby Sparky, It felt wrong to tell Sunny, Hitch, and the royal sisters. Izzy was a unicorn just like her, who loved to make tea, just like her. Call it prejudice or superstition, but Misty felt like telling anypony who wasn't a unicorn would make the trick go bad somehow like overripe fruit.

Still, it felt nice that Izzy took her trade secret to heart, and wasn't just pretending to be interested. Despite the unicorn insisting that she could taste the difference and that she would definitely make tea with a glopaz crystal in it, Misty doubted that Izzy meant what she said. So seeing her use it now made her feel that much better.

Izzy, seeming to sense Misty, turned around, gasping at first, but then broke into a large smile. "Oh, it's just you. I hope you don't mind I'm using your super secret glopaz recipe."

"No, of course not. That's why I showed you, but umm...what are you making?" Misty asked, walking up to the tea leaves and inspecting them. She didn't recognize them as an ingredient for any tea she knew of, but her father did tell her he still had a lot of teas to teach her about, despite already teaching her so many.

"I'm making unicorn sleepytime oo-oo—" Izzy made a snoring sound before continuing. "—long tea. It is sure to lull even the most wide-eyed pony to the gentlest shores of the snoozy ocean. You want some?"

"But, you were in bed just before I came down..." Misty trailed off, wondering why it looked like somepony was in her bed.

"Oh," Izzy blew through her lips, making a flapping sound as she waved a dismissive hoof. "That was Señor Butterscotch! I put him under the covers anytime I have to get out of bed in the middle of the night. It's jinxie to leave without saving your spot, you know?"

"Jinxie...right..."

Misty didn't know much about unicorn jinxies since Opaline never taught them to her. When she first heard about jinxies, she asked Opaline about them, but she just said they were some ridiculous defense tactic against her to keep her from stealing what belonged to her. Now, Misty knew better. She knew that jinxies were bad luck and that unicorns sometimes did rituals to ward them off.

"You remember the jinxies, right?" Izzy asked. "As a fellow unicorn who lived in Briddlewood, you had to know of the jinxies."

Misty sighed, sitting at the dining table. "I did, but when Opaline suppressed my memories, I forgot all about them. Now I only remember—"

She was interrupted by Izzy's loud, dramatic gasp. "Opaline suppressed your memories? How?"

Misty cringed, forgetting she never told her friends that part. She only remembered a couple of nights ago, when she had a dream that brought back the fragment. She's been having those lately. Memories in the form of dreams brought back fragmented memories of that day. She almost had the whole story now, despite wishing she didn't, though there were a couple of holes left. She supposed the side effects of Opaline's spell were finally wearing off. The dream Misty had a couple of nights ago flashed through her mind...

---

Misty lay in the bed Opaline created for her using magic. She was no longer scared of the jinxie words. Living with Opaline for a couple of weeks, away from home, without her father, in this small room was worse than any jinxie curse.

Misty heard hoofsteps against the stone floor of Opaline's dark castle, and she quickly jumped out of bed, made sure it was made, and quickly stood at attention in front of it. Not a second sooner, Misty heard the door unlock and it swung open, Opaline standing in the doorway. Misty gulped, the alicorn giving Misty chills.

Opaline smiled upon seeing Misty and her clean room and made bed. But this smile was calculated, evil, mean. "Good girl. You learn fast. I'm impressed, and believe me, I am not easily so."

"T-thank you, y-your majesty." Misty stuttered. She'd do anything to seem complacent, to gain the alicorn's trust. Anything to go home.

"Yes. I should be thanked." Opaline paused, looking at Misty closely, as though inspecting her. "I must leave lair for a bit. I won't be long. Thirty minutes tops. I expect you to be good. And to be here when I get back. Or believe me, there will be dire consequences. Is that understood?"

Misty looked at Opaline with wide eyes. "You're trusting me already?"

"Yes. Perhaps I am. You've been a good girl. However, the fact that you have to ask should inform how you act."

With that, Opaline walked away. Misty heard the castle doors open and close and then silence. A smile grew on her face. This was her chance. This was her tike to escape. Briefly, she wondered if this was a test, but she couldn't let that hold her back. She might never get a chance like this again.

Quick as a flash, she burst out of her unlocked room and sprinted for the castle doors. As soon as she opened them, however, she saw Opaline standing on the other side, a disappointed look on her face.

"Pity. And here I thought you had real potential. Oh well. I suppose it was a mistake to think I could have a real apprentice. I guess I have no use for a misbehaved brat."

Misty scrambled backward, her hooves squeaking against the marbled throne room floor. "P-please! I-I won't tell anypony about you..."

"I know. Because you won't have a chance to." Opaline replied with a wicked smile, stepping closer to Misty, her horn flaring.

"P-please. I j-just want to go home! I miss Daddy!"

Opaline stopped, her smile growing wider. "Oh? Is that all? Is that why you tried to leave? Because you wanted to go home?" Opaline asked with fake concern.

Misty nodded vigorously, hope growing in her chest. "Please. Will you let me go home?"

Opaline's smile widened, her horn flaring. "I already told you...you are home..."

. . .

Misty slowly woke up in her bed, looking around her room blearily. What happened? She couldn't remember. She jumped off and slowly wobbled to the door, trying to open it. It was locked? Why?

Misty shut her eyes, trying to remember anything before she woke up. She remembered Opaline. The fire alicorn. The one who found her when she was lost and alone. She remembered Opaline telling her that she had to leave for a bit. She remembered trying to leave for some reason and then seeing Opaline on the other side of the door. She gasped. That's why her door was locked. She was being punished. Opaline tested her, and she failed.

---

Misty shook her head, banishing the awful memory. Misty hesitated before answering Izzy's question. "She used a spell. The spell was meant to make me forget my life before Opaline completely, but I guess in her weakened state, the spell didn't go right, and it only stressed them instead of erasing them." Tears beaded at the corners of Misty's eyes. "I guess that's the only way she thought she was going to get my undying loyalty. If I remembered only her and nothing else. Maybe that's why I was always so hesitant to do what she wanted. My memories were suppressed, not erased. Subconsciously, I guess I knew I belonged somewhere else."

Izzy walked over, her happy demeanor dimmed a bit, two teacups floating in her magic, a glopaz crystal in each of them. She set one in front of Misty, which warmed Misty's heart. Misty didn't remember answering Izzy's question about whether she wanted the unicorn oo-oo long whatever it's called tea, but Ozzy made one for her anyway, without a second thought. She wasn't used to being considered like that. In the lair, it was always Opaline first. Opaline only thought about herself and only considered Misty when it benefitted her. It was...nice. It was nice knowing ponies cared about her.

Izzy sat in front of her, with her own cup of tea, though she didn't sip from it yet, allowing the glopaz crystals to do their magic. "I hope I'm not crossing any lines by asking this, but...do you remember anything about that day? Besides going to the wishing tree and the fog and the hillside?"

Misty was silent before answering. "No, not at first. But after Opaline was defeated, I started remembering more. I think I remembered some of it before because my cutie mark magic combated some of Opaline's magic, but it couldn't fight the whole spell back, so it just unsuppressed the most important thing. My dad. But now with Opaline defeated and her spell wearing off, I'm starting to recall bits and pieces of that day. I can almost remember it all now, though I really don't want to."

"Why not?" Izzy asked.

Misty glared at Izzy. "Why do you think, Izzy? That was the day I was filly-napped! That was the day I was taken away from everything I knew and loved and forced to work as a servant for an evil alicorn! That was the day I lost everything I loved! My home! My dad! My memories! Would you want to remember a day like that?!"

Izzy shrunk back, surprised by Misty's outburst. Misty realized what she had done and immediately gave Izzy an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Izzy. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired and it's a lot to process and—"

"Yes."

Misty stopped, looking at Izzy, confused.

Upon seeing her look, Izzy clarified. "I would like to remember that day. I'd want to remember it and never forget it again."

Misty stared at Izzy with wide eyes for a long while, shocked by her answer.

"B-but...w-why?" Misty finally asked when she was able to speak. "W-why would you want to remember such a horrible day? A day where you were stripped of everything that was yours—your family, your personality, your identity—until all you have left that's yours is your name? Why would you want to remember that?"

Izzy was silent for a bit before continuing. "Because I'd want to remember everything that was stripped from me. Opaline took your memories because she thought that without them, you were weak. That without them, you'd just be a blank canvas she could paint anything on and there'd be no reason to fight against her."

"And that's exactly what I turned out to be..." Misty mumbled to herself, but Izzy heard.

"Maybe at first, but in the end, you proved her wrong. In the end, even without your memories, you grew into the pony you were meant to be. It just goes to show that your memories don't define you. You define yourself. You can be anypony you want to be. And no amount of magic or evil grumpy fire alicorns can change that."

"But I can still know that...without my memories."

"Maybe, but it's through the memories of that day that you can see how much you've really grown. The day Opaline filly-napped you, you were a helpless filly who had no choice but to fall victim to Opaline's manipulations. Now, you're a strong mare who stood against Opaline, despite years of torment, and inspired others to do the same. And, on top of it, you used your past to help inspire the ponies of Starlight Ridge to take a stand against Allura. That's an amazing growth. But, to see it properly, you have to remember where you started. The past doesn't define you, Misty, but it is a landmark of your life. Only through it can you truly understand how much you've changed and grown." Izzy looked down, her demeanor dampening even more. "Despite how much easier it would be to forget sometimes."

Misty looked at Izzy, really looked at her. It felt like Izzy wasn't just giving her well-intentioned advice. It felt like Izzy was speaking from experience. Misty didn't know much about Izzy's past in Bridlewood. None of them did. Yes, Izzy's friends knew what she missed about Bridlewood, but that was about it. Izzy didn't talk about herself much, and when she did it was because somepony asked her and even then she gave as short an answer as possible and then deflected with a question of her own, getting the other pony to talk about themselves. All Misty and the rest of her friends knew was that both of Izzy's parents died when she was barely sixteen.

Misty bit her lip. She didn't want to open any wounds for Izzy. She was just so sweet and happy, but at the same time, Misty wanted to know. She wanted to know why the bubbly unicorn could relate to her so much.

"You have memories you suppressed too, don't you?" Misty finally asked, sympathy filling her voice.

Izzy looked up at Misty, hesitating. She never told her friends about what happened when she was little. She didn't want them to think of her differently. She just wanted them to know her as thier happy, charismatic friend. But there was something different about Misty. She felt as though Misty would be able to relate. Like, despite knowing her past, she wouldn't think about her differently. That through their similar past, they could come together and become closer.

Finally, Izzy nodded. "Yeah. I do. Well, did. They're not suppressed anymore." Izzy paused, trying to make herself continue. While she did come to terms with the fact that it's important to remember, she still hated to talk about it.

Misty just stayed silent, taking the glopaz giving Izzy the time she needed to talk about it.

Izzy followed Misty's lead, also taking out the glopaz crystal. She took a sip if her tea, and continued. "When I was ten, somepony broke into our house. Typically, nopony would've been there. Both my parents would've been at work and I would've been at school. But I was sick with a fever so I stayed home and my mother was worried about me so she stayed home too. She worked as a waitress at the Crystal Tea Room. Alphabittle was a grumpy grump, but for some reason, when my mother called in because of me, he'd be super understanding. I guess I know why now."

Izzy looked up at Misty with a sad smile before continuing. "We couldn't see who it was but...there was a hole on thier back in thied clothes to expose thier wings...it was a pegasus. When I asked Alphabittle, years later, he always said he wasn't sure what a pegasus was doing out of Zephyr Hieghts, all the way in Bridlewood..."

Izzy trailed off, closing her eyes. Back when Izzy first met Sunny, Sunny didn't realize how hard and scary it was for Izzy to go to Zehpyr Height. But, if it meant she could get magic back, she had to be brave. But her fears were only confirmed when the pegasus now whom she knew as Zipp started chasing them. When Sunny couldn't climb to the top of the cliff, Izzy almost kept going, but she couldn't lose another pony she loved. When Zipp had finally revealed herself, at first, she was terrified. But then, she saw Zipp's sparkle. It was nothing like the sparkle of the pegasus that broke into her house. The one who broke into her house had a blood-red sparkle with bits of black in it. He felt so angry and empty at the same time. Zipp didn't have that sparkle. Hers was a sapphire blue, which told Izzy she was a protector, with flecks of brown, meaning she was courageous and supportive. That was good and that meant she could trust her. Every pegasus she came in contact with had positive sparkles, which made Izzy that much less scared of them.

But still, she was glad pegasi couldn't read sparkles, because if they could, they'd see that Izzy always felt a tiny bit on guard with pegasi, even around the royal sisters, her best friends. That was one reason why she never told Pipp, Zipp, or Sunny. Pipp and Zipp would feel guilty, even though they had nothing to do with that pegasus breaking in and they'd feel bad and avoid Izzy more in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable, and maybe even move out of the Brighthouse, which would make Izzy feel that much worse. And Sunny would just feel guilty for dragging her to Zephyr Heights in an attempt to bring back magic.

Pushing the thoughts out of her head, she continued her story...