I Remember...But I Don't Want To

by Willow NightSong24

That's What Friends Are For

"Mommy?" Izzy Moonbow called, rubbing her eye with her hoof. "I don't feel so good."

Izzy's mother, Lilac Moonbow, turned around from the stove to look at her daughter. One glance at her red face, runny nose, shivering body, and queasy look, and she knew her daughter was staying home.

"Shadow, honey. Can you get me the thermometer? I think Izzy has a fever."

"Aw..." Her father, Shadow Moonbow, started as he stood up from the table, put his mug down, and grabbed the thermometer from the medicine basket on top of the fridge. When he came back, he gave the thermometer to his wife and gently rubbed the top of Izzy's head. "Poor Izzy Kitty."

"I know. I don't think she's going to make it to school today." Lilac said, putting the thermometer in her daughter's mouth, who promptly spit it out. "Izzy!" Lilac admonished.

"But, Mommy, we were going to start this super cool art project at school during craft time today. I don't wanna miss it."

"Izzy Kitty, you're sick," Shadow reasoned as her mother picked up the thermometer and rinsed it under the sink. "If you go to school, you'll get other fillies and colts sick, then they'll have to miss fun things. Or, you'll get worse and you'll miss more things than if you just stayed home. I'm sorry."

Izzy looked down at the floor, sniffling, tears filling her eyes. "But...I was really looking forward to it, Daddy. I had so many ideas."

It was true. Ever since her teacher told her about it yesterday, she spent the rest of the day overflowing with ideas, thinking of different things she could unicycle for it. Ever since Izzy got her cutie mark, her parents rarely threw away anything except food. They usually gave it to their daughter so she could unicycle it. It broke their heart to see their bubbly daughter so sad.

Shadow glanced at his wife who was drying the thermometer and looking down at their daughter with sympathy. "Tell you what, Izzy Kitty. How about after work, I stop by the school and pick up the instructions and supplies for the project so you can work on it here at home, alright? Then you won't have to miss out."

Izzy's face brightened at that. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" She threw herself at her dad, squeezing him as hard as she could. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Shadow chuckled, hugging his daughter back. "Alright, be a good girl and let Mommy take your temperature."

Izzy let go of her father and stood still as Lilac put the thermometer back in her daughter's mouth. After a bit, the thermometer beeped and Lilac pulled it out, and read the temperature. Frowning, she showed it to Shadow, whose mouth twisted with worry.

"I'm going to stay home from work today to make—"

"No honey," Lilac interrupted her husband. "You need to go to work. I'll stay home."

"But what about—" Shadow started, clearly worried.

Lilac put a hoof on Shadow's chest. "Alphabittle will understand. He's always been lenient when it comes to Izzy. Ever since...you know..." Lilac trailed off, not sure how to word it in front of her sensitive daughter.

But Shadow seemed to understand. "Alright, honey. If you're sure." Shadow kissed his wife's forehead.

"Ever since what Mommy?" Izzy asked, looking at her mother with curiosity.

"Nothing. Say goodbye to your father, Izzy Kitty. I need to go call Alphabittle."

Lilac kissed her husband for the last time, grabbed her phone, and left the room to call Alphabittle.

* * *

"...now, the crystals the unicorn found were powerful crystals. You could leave a message inside of them, but they could only be seen with a spell from a unicorn horn. The unicorn, in order to find the mare he loved, began leaving a trail of messages in these crystals, in hopes that she would stumble—"

CRASH!

Lilac stopped mid-sentence in Izzy's favorite Briddlewood legend, her ears perking up. She glanced at the door of her daughter's bedroom. She slowly stood up, never taking her eyes off the open door.

"What was that, Mommy?"

"I...I don't know..."

"Is it Daddy?" Izzy asked. She gasped with a smile. "Maybe he came home early so I could work on my art project!" She started to climb out of bed when her mother put out a hoof to stop her.

"I don't think so, honey. Stay here and—"

CRASH!

"COME OUT, YOU COWARDLY UNICORNS!" A stallion's voice called out.

"Mommy? Who is that?" Izzy asked, looking at her mother with fear in her eyes, her heart racing.

"I don't know honey..." Lilac trailed off as she slowly started walking towards the door, the floor slightly creaking beneath her. She cringed every time it creaked, but she continued, undeterred. "Stay there, okay Izzy Kitty?

She glanced back at Izzy giving her a small, comforting smile. Izzy nodded, still looking at her mother with fear.

CRASH!

Lilac continued her pace, not letting the crashes startle her into running and giving away her and her daughter's location. She finally reached the door and slowly and softly closed it silently. She stood there, thinking, not sure what to do.

CRASH!

That last crash seemed to make up her mind. Locking the door may give away what room they were in, but judging by the amount of crashing and the rate of it, the intruder was going to destroy the whole house in an attempt to find them. The locked door may hold them off long enough for help to come.

Lilac quickly locked the door, slowly walking back to the bed where her daughter was waiting, squeezing her favorite stuffed animal. Izzy was shaking. All the crashing and her mother's alert reaction scared Izzy to the bone. She knew that whoever was in their house was not welcome and she had a feeling that if they knew she and her mother were up there, they'd hurt them.

Lilac gently grabbed her daughter's face with her hooves, making a shaky Izzy look at her. Tears were running down Izzy's face as she looked up at her mother, who wore another small comforting smile, but Izzy could see deep in her mother's eyes that she was scared.

"Izzy, baby, I need you to listen to me. I need you to be very quiet. Even when you hear pounding on the door, I need you to not make a sound, alright? Can you do that for Mommy?"

Izzy nodded. "I'm scared, Mommy," Izzy whispered, her voice cracking with fear.

"I know, baby. But Mommy won't let anypony hurt you. I promise. But I need you to promise something for me in return, can you do that?"

Izzy nodded, desperate to help her mother.

Lilac swallowed, took a deep breath, and forced the most comforting smile she could muster, desperate to be strong for her baby. "I need you to never lose that amazing smile of yours. Because, I promise you, your smile and creativity are going to light up the world, so don't ever lose it, okay."

"I won't, Mommy. I promise!" Izzy exclaimed in a whisper, smiling back, which warmed Lilac's heart.

"That's my good Izzy Kitty."

Lilac hugged her daughter as tight as she could without hurting her. Izzy hugged her mother back for what would be the last time. Then, still enveloping her daughter, she began to sing in her daughter's ear her lullaby in a whisper.

🎵The shadows may gather, doubts may creep in
But your smile's a promise, a light from within🎵

CRASH!

Lilac hugged her daughter tighter, singing closer to her ear as Izzy began shaking more vigorously. Tears were streaming down Lilac's face, but she continued to sing in hopes of comforting her daughter.

🎵You carry a flame that no storm can extinguish
A strength that inspires, a love that can flourish🎵

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Izzy could hear the banging of hoofsteps as the intruder climbed up the stairs. She hugged her mother tighter, whimpering in her mother's chest, trying her best to be quiet. Her mother's voice quieted but didn't stop, her soft voice comforting Izzy like a warm blanket, making her feel a little safer. Her mother leaned down closer to Izzy's ear so she could hear her clearly, and still be unheard outside of the room as Lilac rocked her daughter back and forth in a tight embrace.

🎵You're the firefly in the night, a beacon so bold
You're the sunrise breaking through, a story to be told
You're the laughter in the rain, the warmth in the cold
You light up the world, your spirit unfolds🎵

CRASH!!

This crash could be heard from the direction of Lilac's and Shadow's room. Lilac blinked back tears, wishing Shadow was here, wishing she never convinced him to go to work. Wishing she went to work instead. Shadow would be able to protect Izzy. He wouldn't be sitting in their daughter's room, helplessly singing her a lullaby to comfort her. He'd beat that intruder to next Tuesday. He wouldn't be stupid enough to leave his phone on the kitchen counter downstairs like she did. She hated how helpless she felt. All she could do was remain strong for her daughter.

So, still singing, she put her daughter on her back and walked to the corner farthest from the door, determined to finish the lullaby if this was going to be the last time she was going to sing it to her daughter. Just the thought of it made tears well in her eyes, but she blinked them back, determined to show her daughter that she'd be okay, even though she was scared shitless. Lilac had a feeling she wasn't coming out of this alive and though it broke her heart at the thought of not seeing her daughter grow up into the beautiful mare she knew she'd become, it'd be all worth it if her daughter mad it out of here alive.

🎵So let your light shine, let it fill every space
Let it conquer the darkness, let it bring grace...🎵

Lilac paused as she set Izzy down in the corner, waiting for Izzy to sing her line. They could both hear the intruder coming to Izzy's room, but Lilac continued to smile warmly, staring at Izzy, waiting for Izzy to sing her line.

Izzy was silent for a moment, tears filling her eyes, her heart racing, but she began singing in a whisper, already starting to feel a little better at her familiar lullaby.

🎵Let it spread like wildfire, a love that's unbound
For I'll light up the world, a joy to be found🎵

As Izzy continued to sing in a whisper, Lilac joined in, making a mother-daughter duet.

🎵You're the firefly in the night, a beacon so bold
You're the sunrise breaking through, a story to be told
You're the laughter in the rain, the warmth in the cold
You light up the world, your spirit unfolds🎵

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Izzy stopped when she heard banging on the bedroom door, looking at Lilac with wide, fear-filled eyes. Lilac kept singing the final line, knowing this would be Izzy's last memory of her...

🎵So let your light shine; let it fill every space...🎵

Izzy then sang her last line

🎵My smile's a promise; one nothing can take🎵

Lilac squeezed Izzy's hooves in her own, whispering, "I love you, Izzy Kitty. Don't ever forget that. I love you with all my heart, more than life itself."

"I love you too, Mommy," Izzy whispered back.

"When Mommy tells you to run, you run. Don't look back. Just run to the Crystal Tea Room and get Alphabittle. No matter what you hear, no matter what you see, just keep running and don't look back. You understand?"

"What about you, Mommy" Izzy asked, worry filly her voice.

"Mommy will be okay," It wasn't really a lie, Lilac thought to herself. If Izzy got out of here alive, everything would be okay. "I need you to promise me."

"I promise, Mommy."

Lilac gave her daughter one last smile, kissing her daughter on the forehead before turning around and walking to the center of the room. She stood tall on shaking hooves, allowing one tear to fall before blinking the rest back. She faced the banging door as it flew open, a stallion with dark blue eyes wearing all black, anger and disgust clear in his eyes standing behind it.

"There you are, you little bitch," He said in a dangerously low voice.

"Look, I don't know what we did to make you upset, but please, don't do anything drastic. Let's talk this out. Please. Don't ruin your whole life from one mistake." Lilac pleaded.

"There ain't nothin' to talk about."

The intruder took a step closer and Lilac's eyes flicked to his back. Wings. He was a pegasus. Lilac knew there was no reasoning with the deranged pony. This was a hate crime and that's all there was to it. But she'd sure as hell make sure her daughter was getting out of here.

"Then please, if you have to hurt somepony, hurt me. Just spare my daughter, please. She doesn't deserve this. She's just a filly."

"Oh, don't worry. Ain't nopony gettin' outta this alive..." He said with a wicked smile.

Lilac closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, gathering any ounce of courage she had. "Then so be it."

With a battle cry, she leaped at the stallion, catching him off guard, which allowed her to tackle him to the ground. "RUN IZZY! RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!" Lilac screamed at her daughter.

Terrified, Izzy stood up and galloped as fast as her little legs could carry her, past the fighting pair. "I'll come back with help, Mommy! Don't worry!" Izzy promised.

She ran out of the room, not daring to slow down to figure out where she was going. She tripped over her hooves and fell down the stairs. She yelped and cried, but miraculously made it to the bottom with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises. She stood up, wobbling a bit before bolting towards the broken down door and all the way to Alphabittle's...

---

"...As soon as Alphabittle saw me, he dropped everything and asked what happened. When I told him somepony was in our house trying to hurt Mommy, he gathered every unicorn in the tea room and led them to our house. But, they were too late. The intruder had already left and Mom was..." Izzy trailed off, unable to say it out loud.

Tears filled Misty's eyes, hurting for what her friend went through at such a young age. "Izzy...I'm so sorry..."

But Izzy continued, just wanting to get it all out as soon as possible. "When they told me what happened, I fainted. When I woke up a couple of hours later, I asked where Mom was. I had forgotten the entire afternoon. My dad thought it'd be better that way. Even if not remembering prevented me from giving a statement about what I could remember about the intruder. He thought that my mind suppressing it was a clear sign my psyche couldn't handle it right now and that I'd remember when I was ready. The problem was..."

"You'd never be ready to remember such a horrible thing," Misty finished, understanding first hoof what that was like.

"Yeah. My father died when I was sixteen. From brain cancer. I remembered that day the day of his funeral. It...it hit me all at once, in a jumbled mess...none of it made sense. I had to go to therapy to get it all sorted out."

Izzy paused, brushing away tears from her eyes. She took another sip of her tea, before continuing, though, she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to go to sleep right after reliving this particular memory. She pushed the cup of tea away from her. "A year before...that day...I got Sunny's lantern. With the note that said I had friends in Maretimd Bay. She said that one day, I was going to meet those friends, she just knew it.

"But, when I forgot that afternoon, I had also forgotten my promise to her. I had started to lose my smile and my creativity. Remembering what happened, I realized that Mom didn't sacrifice herself for me so I could spend the rest of my life sad and depressed in my bed. She sacrificed herself so that I can light up the world with my smile." Izzy smiled sadly a bit before it dissipated. "I think when she made me promise that, I think a part of her knew that only one of us was making it out, and she had already decided who it was going to be..."

Izzy trailed off, just looking down at the table she and Misty were sitting at. She blinked back tears, then looked at Izzy in the eyes, who also had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Losing Mom like that...it was the worst day of my life. But...had I not remembered it, I wouldn't have remembered my promise to Mom. It wouldn't have given me the motivation to spread light to Equestria, starting with the friends I had in Maretime Bay. I probably wouldn't have met Sunny who gave me the courage to go to Zephyr Heights. I wouldn't have met Pipp and Zipp or Hitch." Izzy put her hoof under Misty's chin and gently made Misty look Izzy in the eye. "And I wouldn't have met you."

Misty was silent for a moment, smiling up at Izzy through her tears. Her smile faded as another thought came to mind. "But...how do you not let it consume you? How do you..." Misty trailed off, trusting Izzy to understand what Misty couldn't put into words.

"It's an important balance. And a hard line to walk. Let the past influence you. Let it be a marker of how much you've grown and changed. But don't let it become you. Don't let it define you. You are more than the sum of your pasty. You're Misty Brightdawn, and she can be anypony you want her to be!" Izzy exclaimed with a smile, before yawning. "Well, three sips of magic tea and I'm getting pretty sleepy-eyed. That tea works wonders. I bet it's stronger because of that glopaz crystal. Welp, goodnight Misty. Sleep good and don't let the bunny-fuzzies get you."

Misty looked at Izzy with a confused look. "Bunny-fuzzies?"

Izzy shrugged. "That's what Mom called them." She said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, before continuing to walk to the ramp.

"Hey, Izzy?" Misty asked, a small sad smile on her face. Izzy turned around to face Misty, waiting for her to continue. "Thanks. For confiding in me. About your past, I mean. And...thanks for the advice. It really helped."

And it really did. Misty realized that even with that horrible memory and that horrible experience, Izzy was able to still be her happy bubbly self, despite it. She realized that if Izzy wasn't going to let what that intruder took from her consume her life, despite remembering it, Misty wouldn't let Opaline do the same. And that's exactly what Misty would be letting Opaline do if she forgot the day she was filly-napped.

Izzy smiled back, "Of course, Misty. That's what friends are for," before turning around and heading up the ramp to bed.

Author's Note:

WHEW!

That was a rough chapter...had to take a couple of dog therapy sessions through that one.

Okay, so I originally meant for this story to ve E content...but then the second chapter came around and knocked that plan off the ground because this chapter is clearly not E content

In all seriousness though, Misty and Izzy are my favorite characters because, we know next to nothing about their past, especially Izzy. And while I definitely didn't intend for it to get that dark , I think it came out pretty good. But, tell me what you think.
Anyway, on that depressing note, have a good start to your summer vacation and I will post whenever I can

FYI: My computer broke, blame my puppy, so I'm writing all these stories on my phone while I save up for a new one so excuse any grammatical errors since writing on a phone is not easy, and updates on 'You' might be slow since it is a pain in the ass trying to bold the yous on a phone. At least until I save up for a new computer.

Comments

[Boltstrike58]

Ouch. Also, just an fyi, site rules say you can't use non-MLP and non-made up songs in fics, so you might wanna get rid of that before your story gets pulled.

[Willow NightSong24]

Coop, thanks for the warning. I thought the disclaimer would enough, but thanks for the heads up. I'll get on that right away

[SixLeggedHorseOfOdin]

Beautiful and disturbing. That there's a hate crime involved is interesting.

[Willow NightSong24]

11931791
Thanks. Yeah, I thought it served as a good motivation for her to go to Maretime Bay, as she didn't want any other filly going through what she went through.

I also thought that her reaction in the movie when Sunny suggested going to Zephyr Heights fit this story. If you notice, while Sunny says her "we need to find out what happened to your magic..." line, Izzy looks away from Sunny for a brief second before looking back. And Izzy looked genuinely scared going to Zephyr Heights. It would also explain that during her song, she said about pegasi, "I heard that pegasi were brutes you'd hate to be among...You're vicious, I bet you eat your young. Meet any one of you, the thing to do is run away." It'd make sense that's what she thought if a prejudiced pegasus broke into her house and killed her mom. I also noticed while they're all best friends, in MYM, Izzy & Zipp aren't all that close. I mean, I don't see any of one-on-one bonding btw them. It'd make sense if Izzy was a little more nervous around Zipp than Pipp with Zipp's strong personality. Especially if Izzy wanted to keep her past hidden from her friends and Zipp being a detective & all. Ya, Ik that was a but long, but that was my line of thought when I wrote this.

[SixLeggedHorseOfOdin]

11931812 That's an interesting headcanon, in my opinion, it's very likely that Earth Ponies and Unicorns happened to think before reunification that Pegasie were cannibals.