Waste Heat
Rack replacement, check.
Vacuum tube inspection, done.
All that's left is the socket replacement over in 7B. I follow the umbilical cord, pulling myself along as I pass layers of my life in sticky notes. A faded 'do NOT put cake in her RAM banks, it WONT make her faster' hangs next to a crisp 'SKT 36 FCKD, RPLCT 21/05 03/06'. I tear the latter down with my mouth as I wire up the replacement and kick it into place. I keep the old note, because she still tries to play that prank on me.
"All done, princess," I say around the plug as I connect it.
"Running diagnostic," comes Celestia's melodious voice from my headset. "Socket 36 is green. Excellent work as always, Twilight Sparkle."
"It's a failsafe for a failsafe. Probably won't even need it." Humility fails to extinguish the pride burning in my chest. I pull myself along the tunnel's rungs, blinking reds steadily overwhelmed by the terminal room's fluorescence. I blink as I stand, shaking out my mane, then walk to the console. My hooves easily find the grooved input pedals and I stretch, popping my joints noisily. Microprocessor manuals flutter to the floor in a purple glow as I search for my thermos and unscrew it, floating it over for a swig of tea. It doesn't taste like much, but it's hot.
Today's shift started with haranguing Starlight from Engineering for that overdue part, and I definitely feel it in my drooping eyelids. Interacting with the other crew always takes it out of me. You'd think the pony with sole responsibility for the hardware behind the AI which makes all the big decisions on the ship would have a little more pull, but no.
"You're not going out?" said AI asks, disappointment overlaid on her smooth voice. "There's a festival today."
"Oh yeah. Ninety-seven years 'til planetfall, yay." I'll have been dead for thirty years, if that.
"Celebrating milestones with friends is a wonderful salve if you're feeling directionless," Celestia supplies in her perfectly harmonious tone. The old adage grates on me. Her personality interface isn't crude; it's designed for ease of use first, wellness second, and caring nowhere. When I got lost in the memory banks as a filly, she called a guard to extricate me, but she couldn't hold me while I cried afterward — she's not a real pony. But that's why...
"I like it here with you," I mumble, then drown the sentiment with more tea.
In my spare time, I'm an archivist. Celestia's filesystem is even more labyrinthine than her mainframe, filled with history to inform her ethics weighting, but a lot of it is still pony-readable. Not that it matters — the last generation has memory, the next hope. My generation... prefers not to know. I've read a lot, though. Some pictures and a lot of text, a sprawling digital library.
I'm delving through an obscure sector when I find something.
"Princess?.."
"Yes, Twilight Sparkle?" Unconcerned. Perfect.
"What are these files?" I ask, jiggling the cursor.
"These are my core memories, which underpin the values of my ethics core, as well as the tone of my interface. They're mostly footage and edicts of my progenitor." I've heard of the fair princess who sacrificed herself so the shadow that fell on Equus couldn't follow us, but never read about her myself. The older generation speaks of her like each is grieving a private loved one.
I play a video.
Vivid blue practically spills out of the screen, accompanied by the sound of birds in the boughs of the swaying trees. The camera turns and pans up, past broad white wings and a flowing aurora mane, then rests on the face of a mare unlike anypony I've seen before. Her smile must be what sunlight feels like — warmth seeps through my coat and makes a home there.
"Hello, my little pony." That's her voice, but it's not. It's as stark a contrast as the background birdsong is to the atrium's prerecorded snippets. "I'm overjoyed, you know. I always knew the time would come for you to squirm out of my embrace and find your own hoofing. I wish it happened under better circumstances, but... You will all experience so much. A new life on a new planet, away from the shadow of my mistakes.
"It will not be easy. The path is long and not easily tread. That is the way of things — good things do not come easily. But they do come, eventually." Even separated by decades, I can feel how deeply she cares for me. "Just keep in mind that no matter how far you go... Even when you forget me... You will always be my little pony."
The screen cuts to unfeeling void-black.
Tears run silent tracks through the dust on my cheeks. You loved us so much, didn't you, princess? So why did you forsake me to a life in the dark? I hate the hydroponic gardens and the anemic tomatoes and the cold yellow light filtering through the painted sky. I only want to eat ashy rations which barely resemble food so I forget what I've read of banquets. I only want to hide in the dark wire-warrens, away from mockeries of the sun.
"Celestia?"
"Yes, Twilight?" No hint of that undertone of pain and longing in her voice.
"I'd like to assign myself a new designation."
"Certainly. Please recite your new designation." Perfect, even, but... still her.
"... My little pony."
"Designation updated. Is this satisfactory, my little pony?" The shadow of a pony who loved even me.
I can't force an answer from my throat. Instead, I slump forward and snuggle up under her console, barrel pressed against her heat sink. It's warm here, and when my eyes slip closed I see blue swimming out of the dark. In my dream, it's a beautiful summer's day in Equestria, and Celestia's sun is so warm on my chest that I forget I've ever been cold.
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This has got to be the most depressing story that has been made so far throughout this entire month.
Would be less depressing if she was an Alicorn, maybe the Elements Of Harmony are secretly on the ship? Actually yeah, I'll like to imagine that, would make the story less depressing.
11934897
The Elements are probably what powers the ship.
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I'm more curious on what happened to Luna, Nightmare Moon just returns from the moon and is just like "the heck happened?"
The cover art reminds me of that hallway to the eldritch ball of doom in 'Astartes' with all the purity seals.
Ow. A generational tragedy captured in microcosm. And most ponies don't even really know what they're missing; after all, they're not digging through the archives of what they never had. Very impressive work. Best of luck in the judging.
I think there's so much that could be explored with this story, it almost feels like a pilot
The way I choose to believe this goes is, Twilight goes to the festival and meets her friends who work in various jobs across the ship. Applejack in hydroponics, Rainbow Dash in internal weather, Fluttershy in either animal handling or geneticist (depending on if they have other animals as animals or DNA for cloning), Rarity as a member of the arcano-technicians, and Pinkie Pie as a member of the ship's morale support crew.
They travel into the guts of the ship in response to a corrupted AI, Nightmare Moon, who was originally the Luna AI. The Luna AI went mad from being relegated to the back-end operation of the ship (doors, elevators, lights, etc.). She broke free from her flash-drive prison, and deleted Celestia in a surprise cyber attack
The Mane 6 are looking for the elements of harmony, which form part of the warp generator equivalent, which was destabilized during the power struggle between Celestia and Luna. Twilight know about the elements due to her position as an Archivist.
To try and stop them, Nightmare Moon appropriates parts of the ship to act as obstacles.
Long story short, they empower the elements with their newfound friendship, which purges Nightmare Moon from Luna, and Twilight figures out how to co-opt the harmony wave to restore Celestia from backups.
Then all of them become alicorns and the new rulers, learning various lessons on rulership and life from the restored Celestia and Luna AIs, until they reach their new home. Whereupon Twilight looks back at the battered old hull of the ship and thanks her mentors one last time, before turning towards the bright future the original Celestia gave her life to give her little ponies the barest chance of reaching.
The Luna and Celestia AIs, having resolved their differences, after watching their students leave and seeing the new sun rise one last time, both voluntarily shut down as the ship's power supply fails, leaving the way open for a new Equestria, unmarred by the feud that tainted the last one.
At least.
That's how I like to imagine it going.
Aww, is the cover art the inside of the Magi?
And, come to think of it, is the premise inspired by Ascension?
Right in the feels.
11935008
Sounds like a awesome sequel.
This is a good story! I like it!
11935008
one change. instead of shutting down Twilight surprises them with bodies built out of the ship, since in this case, the two are basically her Mother and Aunt also Spike is a third Ai meant for assisting ponies who has a body giving Twilight the Idea in the first place
Poor girl 😢
11935330
That, or Spike was the first one. Twilight cobbled a dragon-shaped drone together out of some broken machines and one of the backup-to-a-backup systems like she was working on, which gives Spike a direct line to Celestia AI.
The question would be, could Twilight and crew make mobile bodies that could house the AIs? I find myself doubtful, given that Celestia apparently needs quite a few resources to stay functional. The reason behind both shutting down was more for symbolism sake, new planet, new dawn, new rulers, the old rulers getting a chance to rest.
I love the hints to a sort of retro future/Fallout (pre Great War) technology, sounds like the Celestia AI runs on a lot of tubes. Also, it really captured the quiet horror of a generational ship, as there’s likely going to be at least one generation (or more) who will never know the joy of living in a natural environment. With her access to the memory banks, Twilight has gotten a glimpse of a world she will never know… and it’s so painful for her. On top of that, we get an implication that Celestia AI is based off the real thing, which adds some questions too. Is Celestia AI an exact copy of the Princess, or does she have… differences?
Also with everyone talking about how to rehash all the old stories they are missing the potential plot point in front of them. Celestia AI is designed to ensure the mission is successful… the question is at what cost?
wow, +100 in a day! thanks for all the love on this, folks. it looks like i've attracted a slightly different crowd than usual - i imagine because of the sci fi elements? that's cool
11934926
the shadow that fell on equus was nightmare moon - a second sealing (courtesy of cadence (which is why she's not around either)) only stuck her in the moon for 200 more years and made her... much more pissed. planetary threat level, so celestia glassed her.
11935008
i like that you included celestia not following the pilgrims onto the new world - that was very much my intention
that's a very sweet story
11934930
now that you mention it, there's a lot of similarities between engineer sticky notes and ofuda... both act simultaneously as warnings in their numbers for the fearful to not tread on these grounds, while also being instructions for the fools who maintain The Work.
11934932
thank you! the first generation definitely tell stories, but the middle generation really isn't interested - why give themselves something to miss?
11935046
yes, this is from the magi episode! i actually dug it up after coming up with the concept, i guess the personality imprinting stuff influenced this subconsciously. it's my favorite nge episode - ritsuko living in the literal shadow of her mother, these huge monoliths that make all the decisions she must act on even after she's dead, and the feeling of working on her, perhaps understanding this machine that used her mother as a blueprint better than she ever understood the woman herself... it's awesome.
i've never heard of ascension!
11935435
i love vacuum tubes and old hardware, but it's part-practicality - modern hardware is really boring! you just have clean rooms full of big boxes! can't lose a filly in there, booooo. the spaceship was launched 200 years after when canon is set, so they had to take some shortcuts with technological development like not having solid state drives etc.
some notes about the design of the AI for the interested:
celestia is pretty sanely designed - she's an input-only system, with no access to actuators besides voice. decisions and edicts are delivered via terminal and executed by pony, so there's always a Pony In The Loop. her personality interface and ethics core are also entirely separate, despite being trained on the same data. her 'core memories' really just inform the tone of her voice, and in the end she's only a way to interface with the computer, not a persistent 'true' AI with her own values. twilight's basically roleplaying when she treats her like a pony, because, well, she's very lonely.
the ethics core is trained entirely on the edicts passed down by the real princess celestia as sort of 'training data' - you can think of her as a sophisticated llm. isn't it kind of stupid to put a glorified markov chain generator in charge of a spaceship? yes. a lot of the edicts she generates are ill-suited to the actual environment of the spaceship, and she's most useful in social conflict. twilight kind of overinflates her importance. a lot of her value is in sentiment, and she'll steadily decline in use as the older generation passes on. in the end, it'll probably just be twilight tending to her.
thanks again for your interest, everyone! i'd love to write more scifi stuff!
Gorgeous little piece. Always love seeing the pony element shine.
This was truly amazing!
(Read this yesterday at work)
Pretty interesting premise that ended up really sad and such.
Makes me wonder what roles the other Mane 5 have and how are they feeling.
And how Spike looks in this AU too.
11934930
Its the tunnel to the magi computers in Evangelion
makes me grateful to have the sun.
How can something be so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time!?
11935008
I love this!
I can hardly imagine a line more "Celestia" than this. Perfect.
11935114
You mean an FTL slug right in your emotion core, innit?
11935504
Tia should become a true AI through harmony magic just saying
The ship runs on ofuda charms, eh? 🇯🇵
11935504
It's a great episode! I think the magi core also evokes some strong imagery, which I imagine is useful to have onboard when dealing with a restricted wordcount. And there's something about the juxtaposition of post-it notes being used to maintain a supercomputer. My favourite was always Dance Like You Want to Win.
Ah, fair enough. Ascension was a sci-fi miniseries from about 10 years ago, not very good, wouldn't recommend. I thought this might have taken its premise and improved it, since it also dealt with the feelings of being the middle generation on a three-generation ship.
This is that GOOD melancholy. 10/10
11935659
Yes... and?
I kinda figured that by the long story description the author gave and, I quote;
Thanks... I guess?
You managed to capture such a mundane, melancholy and isolated feel in just 1000 words.
11935504
I think you just set up the plot for the sequel with that. After a few years, the governing body of the generational ship decides it’s time to mothball “Celestia” seeing her as a waste of their limited resources, as they’ve grown increasingly detached from their Equestrian roots. Thus, they only see “Celestia” as something that consumes large amounts of energy and parts, with little practical benefit. Sure they might say it’s just a mothballing, but Twilight isn’t dumb, nothing on the ship is wasted, eventually they’ll start cannibalizing her for parts. They might even come for some of the databanks as well, arguing that the old edicts and historical information have little relevance to their situation now.
A great shortstory. It definitely makes me think of the 'Born too late to explore the world, born too early to explore space' saying.
Good, short and to the point. Nice job.
11935504
What do you mean by Celestia glassing Nightmare Moon? What does it mean to glass somebody?
11936749
Glassing: a term for continuous orbital bombardment that the resultant continuous impacts cause the surface area to liquefy into molten material akin to that of glass. The term Glassing was popularized in the Halo Franchise; where it was used by the UNSC to refer to the orbital bombardments caused by the Covenants' plasma-based weaponry burning the surface of a planet rendering it inhospitable, with two of the most notable Glassings in Human history happening at Harvest (the outermost colony world and was a designated Agriworld for the UNSC. It was also here that Humanity made First Contact with the Covenant whose leadership would declare a war of extermination on them), and at Reach (The closest UNSC colony world to the Sol System and boasts the center of all UNSC Navy activity across the many colonies; it was also seen as the homeworld for the SPARTAN-II's due to them having been raised and trained on the planet. When Reach fell, it was seen by all of Humanity as the darkest day since there was nothing capable of stopping the Covenant from eventually discovering Earth).
Before Halo, similar Glassing orbital bombardments were seen in other science fiction properties at the time; with two of the more notable examples being Warhammer 40K: where the Imperium of Man regularly makes usage of Exterminatus, tactical warheads capable of wiping out an entire planets' biosphere. The other example is Star Wars; where according to the internal lore: the desert world of Tattooine was originally a verdant planet with surface water and a temperate climate roughly 25,200 years before the events of A New Hope: only for an ancient Empire at the time to orbitally bombard the surface of Tattooine into molten glass that broke apart over the course of thousands of years to become sand.
11936749
Nuclear glassed ("KaBooM")
this is such an interesting premise for a story. i adore this concept, it's so outlandish but it works SO well, and the way you wrote it is so interesting- and a little heartbreaking.
Woah, what an intense and passionate piece. I connected to and enjoyed the solitude so much. Congratulations on achieving such unforgettable work.
That cover art is genius in that it's an instant siren song for the exact kind of fucking dork that will enjoy this story to begin with. A+ on that one; what a wonderful way to make a melancholic sci-fi story marketable. That cover art choice is targeted.
Anyway! I liked the story a lot! It barely felt like 1k in a good way, cause it packs everything it has to; it is not easy to make such a short story feel so complete, but you really pulled through here. I think that, other than the obvious reasons why this works---it's well-structured, the writing is good, the pacing is just right---this here's a triumph of concept, right.
Like, it ain't easy to come up with a story one can tell in just a thousand words and still make it count; one easily runs the risk of writing a vignette without much weight. This here is a very very elegant solution: come up with an extremely high-concept setting (sci fi, starship, going to another planet, it'll take three generations) and then show a vignette within that high concept, so that the setting feels explored emotionally. Making it a human story about Twilight, rather than a grand story about space or whatever, is what really sells this. Incredibly, incredibly good idea, and very memorable as an example.
As per the writing itself--i'm not going to lie: using the paratext to add context to the story (long description giving details the story doesn't give per se) is a very clever. You give the necessary information to understand the setting without the character stopping in her tracks to give the reader an exposition dump. That would demolish the pacing, so it was the absolute right choice. But, like---as a result, the best line in the story is not in the story?
Like on a personal level I found these two lines to be the most evocative in the fic, and the ones that best summarize the melancholy inherent to Twilight's life. But it isn't in the story per se. Which is, like---it's clever, but it's awkward. Part of me wants to think that with some sharpening, some tweaks, the writing in the story can be more precise and not rely as much on the description? But then I think about it, and like. One of the main reasons why the story works so well is that the story relies on the description to keep the pacing just right. The description is a perfectly valid part of the fic, and structurally speaking, it is the best way to throw exposition at the reader.
Which made me realize that what I at first considered a "flaw" in the fic was kind of just, lateral thinking, right. Like, yeah, no, use the description to get the worldbuilding out asap, then focus on the personal story; that's not bad, that's actively making the fic better as a whole. I keep telling you that the story is clever, I keep repeating myself, but like. Motherfucker. That's so clever. That can legit be a gamechanger, especially when under a strict word limit.
11935904
Bring out the blessed oils! Chant the blessed instructions! Serve the blessed cake! For the Omnissiah!
11937158
thank you for the effusive praise aragon! i've been struggling for a while with cover art for my more mature fics, so i guess it'd be inevitable i'd get into collage (since obvs i wouldn't want to steal other artists work)... i really underestimate how much it matters to the audience. first impressions! i really thrive off limitations in art, so i was excited about the contest... having some kind of rule or guideline to work against helps me find what's strong about a piece and really hone it. the 1k contest is a great example of that - minimization means every word counts (literally).
but yeah, the flipside of that is that the ash and engine grease line WAS in the story originally, but got squeezed out by the main stuff. originally it opened with sunset, a manager-type (weird fit i know) haranguing twilight and using that as a springpad for that para, a more cynical thing along the lines of
but i decided i valued the three things the story in its current form does more: establish the rhythm of twilight's day-to-day, set up her complicated feelings towards the ai, and then knock it all over with the revelation of the princess. as you said, the broader setting isn't important, but her feelings are.
at the time i considered having to cram setting information solely into the description a flaw, as you did, but this has really turned me around on it. i see a lot of story descriptions on here that are very different to the style of the story itself, and am guilty of the same thing - it's like it's just agreed upon that descriptions have to be functional, and what is functional cannot be art. you've definitely inspired me to break away from that expectation more in future (even though i still should save 'the best' lines for the fic itself lol). maybe i'll end up getting dinged for it in the judging but that'd be understandable.
tysm for sharing your thoughts
11936699
i'm glad you caught onto this! it was actually exactly the vibe i had in mind (it's no coincidence that twilight spends her spare time browsing the intranet.) i keep on stumbling ass-backwards into trans allegory with twilight and that feeling of maybe not living to see the light you know you're working towards is extremely that.
I would love to see a longer version of this. Very moving.
Very short, bittersweet, and perfect.
This Twilight is not Celestia`s protoge, she does not have her friends, or her home, she is in a colder, more depressive universe, and she most likely does not have spike either(But she COULD in a future chapter, never know if someone forgot a dragon egg in the cryo pods, just sayin`).
So seeing that, despite the fact she is missing all the things she is not even aware she needs, she can still snuggle up to Celestia, her teacher and mother figure is... comforting, nice, and... correct.
Perfect job, my overused pineapple word-smith.
I am excited to see what you come up with in the future.
11935330
Yeah... "I am an awful person who is going to hurt someone again in the future." is the justification of the suicidal, not the genuinely self-sacrifical. The AIs should live!
There is so much feelings in these 1000 words. Brilliantly written!
Re-reading this, it goes much deeper than I first realized. Equus was destroyed so when Nightmare Moon returns, Nightmare Moon and Luna both would die. No Elements of Harmony, so Twilight has no real shot of becoming an Alicorn. It's possible that not all of the Mane 6 are even on the ship (though Pinkie Pie clearly was from the cake reference.) No Princess Celestia to guide ascension so maybe no more Alicorns ever.
11934937
That is the sad thing about these thousand word fics... feels more like a snapshot of a fic. Of witnessing a character arc in progress. Even if established characters are used instead of OCs.
Feels bittersweet. A good feeling nonetheless.
This was one of the best and most depressing fics I have read in a while. Kinda makes me wanna cry to be honest. It reminds of some of the last days I spent with my grandpa before he died some years back
Dang, that's a lot to process... Awesome work, mate!