Prologue
Jason hated his boss. Over a year in a job, and his employer had never noticed his efforts, never noticed his above and beyond attitude. Normally, he wouldn't care. Normally, he would have been happy to avoid contact with his boss, who had professed to rule the office by fear, which in hindsight wasn't the worst scenario. Work was finished, lazy employees were fired, etc. It was even rumored that his boss was feared by some of the unions. There was also a rumor that he had a hand in the union leadership change about a year ago.
However, this wasn't what had Jason fuming with rage, not even close. His so called "friend" had played a "joke" on him, opening several windows on his computer of questionable origin while Jason was on his break. Naturally, the one day the boss actually noticed anything related to Jason was when his computer was in a compromised status. Jason had had a fun time trying to explain the truth of the scenario to his boss, who literally didn't blink throughout the fifteen minute long conversation. Anyway, he was "suspended" from his job, told to leave until further notice, and was now driving home in his beat up pickup, thinking about several creative ways he could kill his friend. He turned up the music.
"Well, at least I have some free time now," he sighed, "Hooray...".
Thinking about his life, he realized that extra free time would just give him more time to do nothing. He had been robbed a month ago, and although the insurance company agreed to pay for everything, until his possessions were replaced, his house was strangely eerie and boring. He could care less about his material possessions, though, because for some reason, the burglar had stolen several photo albums of his family. He remembered how angry he was at the man that took some of his only family memories. Irreplaceable family memories.
That's another thing. His family. He kept getting angrier as he thought about all of the shit that had happened to him. All of them were killed in a bank shooting eight years ago, when he was only sixteen. He had never let it affect him, but it still weighed heavily on his heart. He remembered how lonely he was in the months following their deaths, the feelings of uselessness he felt over not being able to save them. How he had been the one who had told them to go to the bank, and cash in a birthday check for him. How it was really his fault that they were dead.
He didn't have much of a social life either, rarely doing things with friends, and hadn't had a girlfriend in about six months. Ever since he left college a year ago and got a job, he had become extremely busy in his accounting for long hours, and was usually exhausted when he got home, so he had come to see a love life as a near impossibility. He could at least take comfort in the fact that he was making money, and would be able to slack off later in life. At least, until today.
He focused back on the road, in time to see a car in front of him continue to swerve erratically. 'Damn drunks,' he thought, wondering if he would be graced with a front seat in the inevitable collision. Noticing a bumper sticker on the drunk man's car, he leaned forward, mumbling under his breath. "How's my driving?" it said, "Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." Jason chuckled. He started reading other similar bumper stickers on the car in front of him. He was so focused, in fact, that he didn't see a van that had crossed the grass median to escape some cops a few thousand feet ahead of him.
"Aaand we're back with live reports on the high speed chase currently taking place on Highway 680," the radio said. Jason looked at the radio, and it continued, "and the escapee has apparently attempted to avoid arrest by crossing the median line."
Jason thought for a moment, looked up, and saw the van heading straight for him. Time seemed to slow down. 'Well, shit,' he thought, 'what a great last day on this planet.' He couldn't help but feel sorry for himself, and then get angry. He had gone through so much, it almost seemed fitting, like a final, cruel joke, to be the only innocent casualty of a freak incident.
"Cue sounds of crumpling metal"
Everything went black.
oh wow that is just messed up its like thinking life cant get worse and then fate steps in and shows you how wrong you are
"Thinking about his life,"
I have heard this line so many times!
*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH* *BANG* *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
did anyone else here that train wreak?
great story BTW
EDIT: so far
this story better have him walking up to celestia or ill... ill... ILL SEND MY MOM!
What's this?
A LIKABLE human OC?! Holy shit...
strait
->
straight
Oh well, at least the perp is gonna get the chair for murder during commission of his crime.. Oh wait? Is it a state without the Death Penalty? Oh well, never mind if that's the case... Sucks to be the main character...
just read first chap o captain my captain, and i know this will be awsome.
imo death is overused. I'll see where this is going though.
Let's keep in mind that all of this happens in a few seconds. It seems unfitting, he wouldn't even know whether he'd die or not, if he had time for such an assessment of the situation, he could have just moved out of the way. Also, seems a lot of people like to use "something-something-FML" for last thoughts. Sure wouldn't be mine, doesn't seem natural, too cliched.
PS: He hadn't had a girlfriend in 6 >months<? The poor guy must be devastated.
JASON! JASON? JASON? lol dat meme
So I read this and the ad below said 'auto accident compensation'.
Lolz
Well, so far, there's no ponies. Granted, there's obviously going to be some coming soon, and that's why this is a prologue, but still. Aside from that, your writing is fairly good, so... ALLONS-Y!
1988742
Soon.
Mehopes he doesn't start raging against Humanity.
I'm reading and I'm like "Wow... Me and this guy could totally fuck some shit up together!" his attitude is great!
I rather liked the first chapter so far at least it was different then other end of life fics ive read here so far, this man had a crappy life but he didnt give up on it even at the worst he chose to live on and was making progress to greater things before life decided his final fuck you was in order.....Fitting good job so far keep it up XD
You had a lot of , in weird places...
I was gonna tell ya that you misspelled "straight" as "strait", but somebody beat me to it by twenty-eight weeks.
You might want to fix the 4th paragraph starting with the sentence
it seems a bit off to me....................
Annnnnnnyway good start, now, ONWARDS!
Him, him? otherwise interesting story
Re-reading this because I have forgotten everything about it, and the sequel is finished now.
Did I really not comment on this earlier? Parents killed in a bank robbery? Really? And it is "all his fault"? So hard to take him seriously, from the very start.
Also, exhausted from a long day of accounting? Someone get this man boots and a hard hat, show him what real work looks like.
Well, my first thoughts were "Oh Luna! this is building up to a wish fulfillment," and "Da na na na na na na na Batman! He has a batman childhood!"
I hope my predictions are wrong, or at least not have the wish fulfillment to blatantly obvious. It is well written so far, so you have that going for you. as for me, I can't write anything well other than short poems.
3370138 i think its more of a mental exhaustion
That kind of seems like how i'd react if i knew i was about to die in a car crash and couldn't do anything about it, Instead of yelling like alot of people would i'd just accept it(Only if i'm by myself).{I know because i've already been in a car crash[By myself no one else involved and no other cars or houses anywhere close to me] when the car started to lose control and tip(Top heavy vehicle), all i did was bring my arms up to cover my face and closed my eyes. Didn't yell, didn't think just accepted what was about to happen and that i couldn't do anything to stop it. Vehicle flipped sideways 3 times landed on it's wheels kept going forward and crashed into a tree, and of course the air bag never deployed, I ended up with a couple cuts on my knuckles and a small cut on my head, imagine how surprised the doctors were when they asked me to stand up after the adrenaline wore off[I had been walking around for about 15 minutes before the paramedics got there and forced me onto a stretcher(Extremely annoying) then took me to the hospital and had me lay on the bed for about half-an-hour] and i walked around as if nothing had happened. What i find funny is one of the people who stopped after seeing the wreck and seeing me walk around with so little damage, told my dad i should be a volunteer firefighter and told him who to call. Not sure if it was because they need volunteer's, because of how tall i am, because i just went through a wreck that should have at the very least knocked me out and given me a broken arm but only gave me a few cuts, or a combination of them.[Luck definitely was on my side for once in my life, my idiot half-brother had some decorative swords in the back and had them sharpened because the idiot thinks he's a samurai and when the vehicle finally stopped they were in the seat right next to me along with a couple of really old and really heavy tools] I'm just glad the people at the hospital didn't see the cut on my head otherwise they would have held me there even longer than they did, the only reason i knew about it was because i tried scratching my head about an hour or 2 after getting out of the hospital and felt dried blood. And i'm rambling again, i have one of those minds that start on something like a cloud and end up thinking about the meaning of life, more often than not carrying on an entire conversation with myself [Inside my head] and explaining things to myself as if i was explaining them to another person even though i know exactly what i'm thinking about means.}
3673443
Hey I do that to well, I've actually had a 3 way conversation with myself(now if only I can remember what it was about.)
Two staches for having meaningfulor meaningless conversations with yourself
3704466 and glad that your ok.
My reaction would be more like "Well... shit."
So a death equals Equestria fic. Interesting.
Well that seemed like a great day at work if I may say so myself!
He hasn't had a girlfriend in six months? I haven't had a girlfriend in 19 years. Can you guess my age?
But anyway, I enjoyed the prologue.
4547202 Hmm in your 40's or 50's?
3370138 At the moment, I attend High school, and no one can even begin to identify with the mind-numbing boringness and exhaustion that comes from having to sit at a desk and type the same thing over and over again for hours (or write with a pencil. Hand cramps suck.) Seriously, I had to shovel snow, and that was one hundred times more exciting.
5298565 well, anything is better with snow :P
Best prank ever. Right?
52 Chapters, I just nerdgasmed. Thank you so much for taking the time to finish the story.
Nice friends.
Trying to get him fired is just what you would do to your friend isn't it? (DEFINITELY No sarcasm at all)
I've been wrong about friendship all my life.
All of his family died in a bank shooting, what were they having a family reunion at a bank? Talk about bad timing and. Jason really seems to have got the shit end of the stick! Seems like a good fic though.
I just finished reading the prologue. I've got to say I haven't had such a good unexpected laughing fit for quite some time. The amount of stuff that makes this guy's life terrible was ludicrously over the top.
Start with a monstrous boss. Okay, that sucks. Lots of people have bosses they hate that don't give them any credit.
Next have an asshole friend who got him fired with a stupid prank. That sucks too, I feel sympathy.
Next, his car is a beat up, crappy old truck. Minor thing, but hey, at least he has a vehicle.
Next we learn that he can't even enjoy himself at home cause he was robbed a month ago and doesn't have any possessions. This is starting to get a little bit much, but not so glaringly much that I stop feeling sorry for him. It's pushing against my suspension of disbelief, but not breaking it.
Then we learn that the guy stole his family albums, items which have no real value to anybody except him. That doesn't make sense, there's no reason for anybody to do that unless they are simply fucking with him. I come to the conclusion that that is precisely what is happening and that it's not the thief who is screwing with him, it's purely the author trying to make his life miserable in as few paragraphs as possible in a heavy handed effort to control the readers' emotions. I lose sympathy completely and start losing interest.
Then it moves onto how his family all died in a bank robbery several years prior and I just lost it. I couldn't stop laughing throughout the rest of his woes. He was 16 at the time, he had personally asked them to go into the bank to cash a check for him that they gave him for his birthday meaning that not only did they die on his birthday, but he gets to feel responsible for their deaths, and then a few other pretty minor things like not speaking with friends much or having a girlfriend for awhile. Oh, and of course the death too from ending up in the metaphorical crossfire of a police chase.
This is the kind of thing you see in parody. I had to check the tags on this story to see if I missed the comedy tag because this was hilarious. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it wasn't there. I don't know if the prologue was intended to be funny, or if it was unintentionally so due to a heavy handed attempt to garner sympathy for the character, but either way it was the most enjoyable 800 words I've read in a long time.
Huh, and i thought i had a twisted since of humor.
I UPVOTED AND RUINED ITS 1337 LIKES .
Colour me intrigued... an upvote is dispensed.
6874834
15 that 50? (Is that so?)
This was the most over-the-top attempt to garner sympathy I've ever read. It's pretty pathetic actually. I stopped caring about this guy's "problems" when it was revealed that someone stole his family pictures. Seriously? Why don't you just go all out and tell us that this guy was about to have a kid when his wife was killed by a drunk driver. Even worse, he was in the vehicle, also drunk. Oh, and he wasn't fired because of a misunderstanding, he was fired because his boss is a racist asshole who has always hated him and takes the credit whenever he does something that might get him noticed by his superiors. Been single for six months? Hell, this guys is still a virgin and all his friends got married years ago! He was born with autism, aids, down syndrome, and his mother smoked. He was bullied as a kid and all of his friends ditched him for the bullies. His house was robbed, burned down, then the insurance company burned down. He's been mugged 6 times in the last month even though he lives in a nice neighborhood.
Shall I go on? You certainly did.
yep I am new to this story and it is looking really good.
and you can balm this video on discord if you want he made me do it.
Well time for a 4th read through
Third time diving into one of the stories I consider a classic and well crafted HIE story.
Huzzah!
Also love that you didn't make the intro long winded or to much of an info dump.
Well, longer than it needed to be.
I gave a down vote cause of that mean author's note! (I didn't really downvote though :3 )
8622435
The only correct answer.
i thought it was well done.
8622435
I gave a down vote cause I'm a plothole!
(And like you I didn't really leave a downvote. But don't tell the author that. )