It took several hours for Valyrie to get over the surprise hug by Angel. When the assault on her personal space was over, the group proceeded out of the armory and to their post; Philomena's tower. Shining had told them Philomena would still be upset about catching her and he was right. Comet was lucky he had on his helmet since she dive bombed him and pecked at it for two minutes straight, much to the amusement of Angel and Valyrie.
The two continued to laugh at Comet as he made some colorful insults at the phoenix, then at them when Philomena finally calmed down. Soon, all three oddballs were standing in silence, bored as bored could be. Comet stayed rigidly still, even as Philomena decided his back was a perfect place to perch herself and nip at his tail and mane. Valyrie tried her best to keep a straight face, but Angel's laughter eventually won out.
Finally, Philomena got bored of trying to get a response from Comet and flew back to her perch, looking sad. Angel watched as the phoenix hunger her head and approached the bird, saying, "Aw, poor Philomena. You just want to have fun, huh?"
Philomena cawed sadly in response and Angel gave her a smile. Valyrie tried throwing an annoyed look her way, but Angel clearly wasn't paying attention.
"Hey, Philomena," Angel whispered loud enough for Valyrie to hear but quiet enough for Comet to tune out, "Here's what you do. Go up to him slowly and quietly, then nip him between his wings. He'll respond to that."
Philomena gave her a sideways look, but glided down to the floor and silently walked over to the pegasus. She flew up and perched herself on his back again and cawed like before. Comet didn't even turn around to acknowledge the phoenix's presence and Philomena nipped him between his tightly folded wings.
Comet's response was immediate. A weird mix of both pleasure and excruciating pain shot through his back as the phoenix bit him. He immediately began to curl his spine and spread his wings out so quickly, it startled Philomena. She cawed in surprise and flapped her wings as Comet's left legs went numb and he toppled over. He hit the ground before finally getting control of his body back and quickly stood up to face the phoenix. Angel fell over laughing and Valyrie couldn't help but stare at Comet. It didn't take the gryffon long before she started to giggle as Comet angrily chased both Angel and Philomena around the room.
`The day generally went on like that, but after lunch Valyrie decided to join in on the fun. It started slowly at first, such as dragging a claw down Angel's armor to produce a rather annoying sound. It then graduated into a full blown female assault on the one stallion. Philomena, Angel and Valyrie all proceeded to try and annoy him in any way possible, but Valyrie seemed to have the most success.
Soon, Comet was soon sitting in the mess hall again with a plate of fresh lettuce and some sugar coated strawberries for dinner. Angel sat on one side of him, Valyrie on the other. Comet wondered why Angel wasn't on night guard duty yet, but kept his mouth shut as both girls talked around him.
"So, where ya from again?" Angel called over into Comet's ear, making it ring when she finished.
"The Gryffon Kingdom," she answered cooly, thankfully feeling no need to yell, "My home was in a place called Wyvern Pass."
"What's a wyvern?" Angel called over again.
"A big, scary creature with a dragon head, two big claws, breathes fire and lives in the rivers and lakes," Valyrie replied nonchalantly.
"Do they exist?"
"Well, duh! It's not called Wyvern Pass for nothing."
Comet tried to mentally picture such a creature, but all he got was a goofy looking dragon image stuck in his head. He chuckled to himself and Valyrie narrowed her eyes at him.
"What's so funny about wyverns?" She asked pointedly, "They're big creatures that level entire villages on a whim. They pop up out of nowhere, scare away all the gryffons in the area and take what they want before razing the place."
"Sounds like a typical dragon to me," Angel somehow said while sipping on the straw of a cup full of peach juice.
Valyrie switched her gaze around Comet to Angel and said, "Oh yeah? Well how big do they get? Wyvern's get up to about the size of a shipping boat."
"I heard a dragon that took over an entire mountaintop in Ponyville," Angel replied, "His smoke alone almost forced everyone in the town to leave."
Valyrie's face went from smugness to shock as she comprehended just how big the dragon had to be.
"No way," she said, backpedaling, "No way any creature gets that big."
"Uh huh," Comet finally chimed in, "Dragons here typically take over entire mountains. The one Angel was talking about was trying to sleep from what I heard. Celestia would've gone to the town herself if the dragon would've gotten violent."
Valyrie sat there, dumbfounded. If that was true, then dragons here in Equestria were typically twice the size of some of the biggest wyverns in the Gryphon Kingdom. She gulped and said, "Whatever. Wyverns are still scary."
After dinner, Valyrie suggested the trio go into town to celebrate their promotions. According to the forms the duo signed, guards were given two days off, but had to be on call at any moment. Since Comet and Angel were now officially Royal Guards and no longer recruits, they had found out their day off was tomorrow by asking how to find out from a unicorn guard, who materialized the shift list. Apparently Philomena guards were given two days off in a row since Celestia often spent time with her those days. Angel insisted to Comet they go with Valyrie, but he wanted nothing more than to go to bed. Eventually, he reluctantly agreed to go at Angel and Valyrie's combined pleas.
Soon, Luna's moon was high in the sky as the trio sat at a tavern known as The Shadowy Mug and chatted away. Valyrie had insisted on playing a couple games of Prodder, but had gotten very angry when Angel won all of her bits, as well as Comet's, who had no idea how to play. They each had mugs of cider they happily sipped on, but the barman had made the mistake of using hard cider on Angel and Valyrie's drinks after their fourth round since he was swamped by other ponies, so the conversation took some very weird turns.
"So what's up with you and Angel? Have you two done it yet?" Valyrie asked Comet while Angel was away getting another round for herself and Valyrie. It must've been the cider talking, but Valyrie was curious. Comet and Angel seemed practically made for each other, but they didn't act like they had anything between them. She had been keeping an eye out for a nice gryphon, but Comet was something new, like a toy. Comet utterly refused to answer that until she threatened to ask Angel.
"No, we are friends, nothing else," he stated tersely.
"Oh, so you're free?" she asked, moderately interested.
Valyrie gave a sideways grin to Comet that he pretended not to notice. Comet was a fuzzy mass of orange since he wasn't wearing his armor out in public, but Valyrie thought he was actually more gryphon like than anypony she'd met. Most ponies were loud and just too friendly, like somegryffon dumped sugar all over them. Comet was different in the way he didn't seem to care about her, and she liked that. Not to mention he was cute as well. If Angel hadn't claimed him yet, then there was no harm in Valyrie trying, now was there? Shoot, all she had to do was put a beak and claws on him and he was the striking image of a gryphon.
Angel returned in a haze and downed her seventh mug as Valyrie emptied her ninth. Comet had barely finished his second, which he felt was a good thing. Angel and Valyrie didn't realized it yet, but they were actually causing a scene. They laughed way too loudly, shouted to each other and even began to throw a couple cards out of the deck they played Prodder with. One managed to get in another ponies drink and Comet finally decided to take them back to the castle. After using Angel's winnings to pay for the drinks since it was Comet's and Valyrie's bits as well, he herded the two out of the tavern and back to the castle. Along the way, Angel somehow fell asleep while trying to get inside a shop window and Comet started to carry her back with a tipsy gryffon snickering at him the whole way.
"So, what's going on between you two?" Valyrie asked.
"I said nothing. We're just friends," Comet replied a little too quickly.
"Doesn't seem like it," Valyrie mumbled, "Seems like you take extra special care of her. I mean, look at you! Carrying her back like some sorta hero."
"Friends do that for each other," Comet answered defensively.
"Yeah, but dey usually don't put dem on dere back and carry dem," Valyrie had a sly grin slide across her face and Comet tried to ignore it. "You do like her, don't you?"
Comet didn't answer and Valyrie continued, "If you're nervous about making her happy, I could always... give ya some tips." Comet shot her a glare and she laughed loudly again.
It was only after they reached the castle did Comet finally set down the snoozing Angel. She looked rather happy wrapped up in her blankets and, despite the trail of drool running down the back of his neck, Comet was actually pretty happy to see her like that. She really was cute.
His mood almost instantly soured as he headed to his own bunks, though. A large claw dragged him into an empty room and, before he could ask what it wanted, a set of hard beaks met his lips. Comet almost shoved her away. Not only did it hurt a lot, but the claws wrapped around him and forced him to the ground. He lay on his back with a clearly tipsy gryffon on top of him, giving him a look he really didn't want to see. He saw the grin only through the slight moonlight peeking in through a window on the far side of the room.
"If she didn't claim you," Valyrie said in her best normal tone while tipsy, "Then why can't I have a little fun?"
Comet's face contorted into one of fear as he struggled to get loose from the gryffon, who now was leaning in way too close for comfort. He managed to spin over and try to push himself loose, but her beak nipped between his wings and he felt himself try to contort into a ball. Valyrie laughed like this was a game and Comet fought back harder. He dug his hooves into the stone, but they kept slipping, so he flared his wings in her face. That only made her laugh and earned each of them a slight, playful nip. Finally, as her beak approached his tail, he managed to slip out from Valyrie's grasp and bolted away from her.
She gave chase and tried to catch him, saying things like, "Come to mama, my brave stallion. Don't you wanna feel what it's like to be with a real gryffon?" Comet was in full panic mode as he darted around the dark room, listening to Valyrie's crazy laugh. Finally, he found the door and bolted out through it, much to the protest of Valyrie.
Comet didn't sleep well that night. Valyrie lay in her bunk several rows away from Angel and grumbled to herself about selfish stallions. Angel was fast asleep, but Valyrie could swear she heard her mumble.
"Comet."
Sweet!
This....this is interesting. I like what you are doing with the story. Keep it up.
This was great. I liked how you incorporated Philomena into the story a bit more. You're doing great with this story.
I like this chapter.
I don't like Valyrie any more.
Comet didn't sleep well that night. He was afraid Valyrie would come back and a weird sensation sat in the pit of his stomach and in his mind. Did he want to see what it was like to be with a gryffon? Valyrie was cute in an exotic way, but wasn't Angel cuter? He tried to ignore those thoughts, but soon he was faced with an uncomfortable truth. He was curious to feel what being with a gryffon was like.
Well, that was a fast paragraph/introduction of a conflict...
He should just pull a Commander Shepard (The ending scene is best in that video):
Alaikit. Keep movin on.
Valyrie needs to take lessons from Flutter on how to not be assertive...no, she doesn't this is too funny
Valyrie ruined everything...
I don't like her...
Gryffons need love too, but they gotta pay!
Well ……… That escalated..... quickly.
Seriously Comet? You have trouble deciding between Angel, who you've spent time with and grown close to, or a Gryffin who you barely know, that instantly had a crush on you because she was drunk?
I take back what I said, Comet is the biggest idiot.
And if I may critic, the griffin feels.... Off. It's obvious her only purpose in the story is to create a love triangle, and she is just shallow. I'm sorry, I enjoyed the chapter, especially the Phoenix (guess why), but I just feel you could have done better making a love triangle than just adding a character that comes out of nowhere.
But... If Comet goes with the Gryffin.... Can I have Angel? Please....
she tried to make a move on Angel's man!
Ah hell no!
Yay, update! Liking this, Comet being split between wondering what a gryphon or a pony is like.
Awkward love-triangle. Not only that but none of them are even the same species.
Maybe you should change the rating to mature, or teen, but refrain from adding the "sex" tag. It would give you a bit more room to play around with, but you won't have to write anything "explicit".
2030693
He didn't say he liked her, he is just curious what it would be like to be with a gryffon. It's actually a normal guy thing that sets up the triangle. He is very close to Angel, but now Valyrie perks his interest.
Isn't love fun?
If you do it with Valyrie, then once you finally get with Angel, you won't be tempted to cheat on her!!
Problem solved!!
Comet is shy, very shy in your first, but he wants.
I like Vakyrie. She is um stronger character and she have very for work.
i470.photobucket.com/albums/rr62/afega300/MLP_FIM/images1-1.jpg
Is it me, or is this artwork inspired your "Shadowy Mug scene"?
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/222/e/e/the_shady_trough_by_equestria_prevails-d5aif28.png
Owww this is going to be good.
I can see Angel and Valyrie fighting over Comet. This will be hilarious.
Whoa...i'm not sure where you're gonna go with Valyrie, but i'm watching....
at first i was like RAPE!
but now I'm like DAAAAW LUV TRIANGLEZ!
I think you might want to bump this up to Teen, it may not be explicit but I think it goes beyond "everyone" especially this chapter.
Woah and I was going to suggest having some girl come and drive a wedge between Angel and Comet...WELL! Valyrie took care of that suggestion Amazing story and I can't wait to see it be continued!!!
2030952
f-yay? Did you misspell fey? It be rather interesting to get some Elves and Eladrin in here, but I don't think it would match the theme. Hmm...
From the comments it seems I'm the only person in Camp Valyrie.
*reads second part of chapter title*
Ohhhh dear...
2030952
Well, Valyrie is supposed to be a rival to Angel, so Comet gets his conflicting feelings for both.
2030768>>2030981
Teen maybe for the hard cider and dark room, but definitely not Mature.
2030952
'R' word? I'm curious now.
2030619
really? drunk griffon attempts mating with stallion?
With what i gathered about the griffons, it really isn't that much a surprise. Besides, this story need a good antagonist/ social issue other wise it would have no excitement. It will drive angel and comet closer together through a bit of a tussle and a pinch of violence. If i am correct.
Valryie also adds another thing those two needed. Someone who would stir things more than comets bored face and angel peeling with laughter.
She is like a touch of both but an individual in every way. If you ask me, i like valyrie a lot more than comet. Angel is best pone though xD
2031057 She's a little too... rapey.
Overall, understand I enjoy your story and characters, but there were a number of things that stood out I feel I should comment on
and you're welcome to take them as you will.
I feel like, while the situation is...plausable and perfectly alright for the tone of the story, that the situation was rushed, and could have evolved over a couple of chapters.
Also, I find it exceptionally hard to believe that when presented with an order of 3 virgin ciders, a bartender would somehow 'mistakenly' make two of them hard, and by sheer coincidence, those two happen to go to the girls in the trio. It really comes off as just what it is, a contrived plot device.
Another thing was when Valyrie asked about their relationship, I think you missed a huge opportunity. Both Angel and Comet were privately toying with the idea of being a couple, that having it said in the open would at least elicit some sort of reaction from the drunken angel, if only stuttering and blushing before the idea was predictably shut down by Comet. This could be followed up by Valyrie saying something along the lines of "Ah, so you're single?" accompanied by a (Drunkenly) interested look. That'd give uneasy signals to Comet, possibly jealous reactions from Angel (Assuming she notices in her mirth), and leave that nugget of an idea of being with a griffin in Comets head.
Overall, I think you're making a bit of a common author error, one my English teachers have been telling me since elementary: "Show, don't tell." You're telling us too much, and not showing us whats actually happening. Show us that he's not sleeping well that night, but don't tell us why. We're smart readers, we can convey that he'd be conflicted with the idea of another interested female. You could show us V's curious, and growing interest in Comet instead of just telling us: Bam! He's a pony, but griffin cute! I don't know what to feel about V, simply because you haven't given us enough of her character yet. I know the prospect of a wedge is an interesting plot point, but that could be introduced later after fleshing out WHO V is, other than another polt device to create UST between Angel and Comet.
I'll continue to follow this story, and I wish you the best of luck in bettering yourself as an author.
Nicely done, this chapter.
Valyrie is an interesting character, not likable, but interesting enough. I'm curious to see where this goes. Or, more accurately, how we get there.
2031177
That makes me feel really stupid now. You bring out some good points and I now kinda regret having that happen.
On a side note, Angel was away from the table when Valyrie asked about the relationship.
2029330
...... PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!
This chapter is good, but I am worried this story is starting to be too rushed. It is now almost like a description instead now as the day rushes by. The griffon is cool, but you rushed how fast she is already going for Comet. It would be better for us to get to know her better before just dropping her in to make a Los triangle
I agree with Kentle- a good chapter, but a tad rushed/could use a bit more description.
Scary drunk griffin chick is.....scary
2030818 I so agree
2031279
Its what, a few hour old chapter? Pull it back then. "UNDER REVISION" You can do that. Make it into something you're happy with, instead of needing to pump out chapters frequently. The start of it was decent, but feel free to show more, like the conversation with the guard over free days, or chatting with a superior about how to handle Philomena. Don't just tell us they had conversations, write them out. They live in the guard, so flesh out the Guard a bit too, world build.
Awesome!
2030657
We'll bang ok?
hahahaha love those gamer poop videos!
as for the story = no Comet! BAD BAD COMET! You deserve Angel and Angel deserves you!
2031427
Yeah, this could be interesting... but it could turn out as a 3-way... (just kidding. But here's some food/a video for a thought.)
I LOOOOOOOOVE! LOOOOOOOOOVE! MOIST TOWELETTES! *eye twinkle*
I just wanted to bang you... I'll come by when you're feeling better.
...we'll bang, ok?
2031142 I know what it will cause, but anything that could make Angel unhappy will quickly enter my bad books, and if it was possible, the crosshairs of a scope attached to a high powered rifle. I've become quite attached to Angle, even though she's an OC.
Well things have gotten more interesting. I wonder how Angel will react when she finds out!
Comet!! Props for putting Angel to bed and resisting the Griffin... But bad for thinking such thoughts!!
2031463
intriguing... but highly disturbing!
2031502
That reply works for both parts of my comment too xD.
Stop right there, criminal scum! You violated my mother!
2031511
By Azura! By Azura! By Azura! It's the grand champion! I can't belive it's you! standing here, molesting me!
or lets not forget
Heeeey! You've got a real bounce to your chest!