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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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really a dog w-w-why!!
I really don't know. A friend gave me the idea today. Was it a good idea![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
if this happens then i will specifically state to be placed in ponyville
AWESOME!! i fell kinda sorry for Louie but oh well, early bird gets the worm!![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
The dog was funny![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
Next could be hipocraties or some really old philosopher
Puppyplease...pupplysmiles.jpeg
a dog? LAWL! he probubly has a good chance wit fluttershy XD hahaha ha ha... ha? OH GOD MY BRAIN![:fluttershbad:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/fluttershbad.png)
48780 But the second mouse gets the cheese.
I like it so far. I could get away with the retired Guard excuse (I'm military myself). Overall, I like the story, a good 4/5 story (That's good as I, as a rule, don't give 5/5's away easily. You have to tear that last star out of my hands [example: My Little Dashie]). I noticed a few grammar mistakes (example: "We was..."), which is an easy fix and overall not very detrimental to the story. Give the story a few run through after you finish it (or grab a beta reader) to check for grammar and things like that.
On the subject of the dog-brony. Let him have Winona.
I'm glad every one likes the dog idea. Louise![:rainbowkiss:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowkiss.png)
maybe im wrong, but i thought David was Vincent in the previous chapter? either you changed it, or im incredibly delusional (the latter is much more likely). but either way, still loving this![:pinkiecrazy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiecrazy.png)
well I cant wait for human dragon.
P.S. do you except character requests? if you do please name the next human dragon in the story Malbatorus. or Mal for short.![:twilightblush:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightblush.png)
48924![:twilightblush:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightblush.png)
I changed it so I could add a new character
Glad everyone like it
I have decided to add the part where my character does a type of sonic rainboom. Here's what it will look like
i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/kurtisawsome/ponyg.png
But first, I need a name for it. Who can think of a great name for my characters sonic rainboom
Louie x Winona. 'nuff said
. Also thanks for responding to my comment but it kinda made reading this chapter slightly predictable; except for whe bro-puppy came along. Talk about a curve ball!![:pinkiegasp:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiegasp.png)
Oh, I know how to put a twist into a story![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Any way, I'm glad you like it.
Also, how is the sonic boom picture?
49605 a twist?
id so choose to be an anthrosized dragon im a aspiring chemist/physist itd be impossible to us stuff if i was 200 ft tall so itd try to be 7-8 feet tall around the hight i am now you know if this happenend
Bad ass pic
49605
Great pic but since it's taken from the one of RD doing it he kinda looks a little like a mare
poor louie
49471Giga darkray? If I get my own pony for this aww um idea I would like it named Rendan the Pegasus* or pwny, no pun intended*, Dan for short.... And with a strong Australian accent that fluttershy likes![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
54639
FLUTTERSHY'S MINE!!!
*growl*
I vote "CRIMSON UMBRAL RIPPLE" or "THE RED SHADOW BOOM!"
But bback to criticing: here's a tool to help you out (please don't thak this as me being mean it's just the way you use 'was' bugs me)
"I was going to the party" "you were going to the party" when speeking about yourself or discribing an event use was, when discribing others use were
Hope that helps.
oh! Oh! he's gonna be winowna's .....dogfriend? I dunno![:ajbemused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajbemused.png)
I think Louie is retarded. Seriously.
...
No... he doesn't even have the proper attributes to be mentally impaired.![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
49387 no wonder all the ponies stare at him he does look weird compared to other ponies
just one thing if i could go to Equestria,which I know I can't, that would definitely be the way i wanted to look no matter what anypony said
49387 maby late but hey you ask i reply how about a MAROON BOOM... red and black makes maroon
or red flash bang... the sonic antimatter.. antimatter is nothingness so. like black... ow how about shadowd sound ripper... hehehe riping tru the sound barier i could name more but i aint think you would watch it all over...
Hey David watch out for... Dangit I don't have a name for rainbow like molestia![:derpytongue2:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/derpytongue2.png)
awsome 2 pegasi bronys and a dog brony, there must be a unicorn brony
I wonder if some brony managed alicorn form? Hmmm I think it entertaining idea how will populace react
49387 a sonic blackboom?
I was supposed to read a few chapters of this in a trade-off review with another user. It may seem a little late seeing as that you're 140 chapters into the story but I'm doing it anyway. Your spelling and grammar is horrible (no offense). In addition to this, Rainbow Dash is OOC, she's supposed to be the element of loyalty yet she completely puts Twilight down for her own lust. In addition to this, your character is living in Twilight's house by the second chapter, and Rainbow Dash attempts to rape him in the third. I could go on further, but I'll stop for now to mitigate the amount of hate I'm going to get for this.
Anhero from Under the Bridge at your concritting service.
616475 I agree with everything said here. I also feel that Twilight is a little OOC. Other issues include the main character having - no, choosing - a nonsensical name (seriously, even Lance would be a better name for a retired guard) and he is the almost the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the pony creator (at least he's not an alicorn).
I'm afraid I'm out.
I admit the story has problems but its still good![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Twilight using improper grammar? This story has too many OOC's
There is something that makes me keep reading... I should he sleeping...
This story is making me roflshtidmt
Set Luke up with Winona, it works so well