After returning from Hearth's Warming Eve in Canterlot Rarity cannot stop thinking about her purple unicorn friend in a new light. Great angst and shipping ensues.
If you like my writing you can encourage it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I always have a soft spot of Twi-pairings where Twilight isn't even aware of the pairing itself, dood.
And I like how it ended...like how every story should end... with Twilight saving the fair maiden, dood.
I laughed way harder than I should have at that.
I suggest you add the quotation mark where I colored it, doesn't ruin much though.
Shows promise. It tends to jump around a bit with a sudden revelation or introduction of a character that in the story was known in the room, but the reader had no clue. Other than that one or two grammatical errors and a few unnecessary words. But I'll fave this, see how it goes. If ya would like, I could proof read this for ya?
2977614
Thank you! I'll fix that in a minute
2977022
I'm planning to write more of it.
Rarity as a writer of borderline-creepy romantic-fluff fanfic and commissioner of similar art?
So believable.
Oooh very nice!
I like the language used in this. Rarity would be just the type to pine over a secret crush and even write romantic self-insert novels about said crush. I'm tracking this.
Color me intrigued! I'll be keeping an eye on this one
Like Fusion, I enjoy reading stories where Twilight is oblivious that somepony is infatuated with her
Oh boy, if only this wasn't so believable I could stop laughing.
Good story, though I wonder if Spike knows what's going since he encouraged Twilight to go. Or that could be him thinking along the lines of if Twilight offends Rarity, she won't be happy with me as well.
Okay... You hooked me. This was highly amusing. Rarity doing self inserts into fanfic... Check. Twilight being oblivious... Check. Cover art I have never seen before? Check.
Well, according to my checklist that is enough to qualify for a track and favorite.
Great angst? Yeeeeees!
Shipping? Noooooo!
I like so far
interesting story.... u have caught my interest... and i will continue to look for more chapters
haha very nice, I really like your writing style, clean and crisp!
Rarity's daydreaming grows more and more absurd. Also, I now have a need to know just what 'saucy varlet' means. *One google search later* Varlet: Attendant or knight's page or rascal... Somehow not as suggestive as the word looked to me originally. Anyway, good story like the last chapter. Also bonus points for managing to make use of the word 'adorkable' where Twilight is involved.
Love it. It is very amusing watching the old tales from my younger days being played out again.
Keep up the great work!
This seems very in-character for Rarity to spin such fantastic tales about her crush, and those stories are also nicely written, too. I look forward to seeing how her "real-world" relationship with Twilight develops, though...
3010756
It probably looks suggestive because it's one letter away from harlot.
How? How on Celestia's green earth does this not have more likes? I love it amigo. Simply love it.
That does it. I've had it. I was merely curious before, but now I'm favoriting this
Now I wonder if any of Rarity's fantasies will accidentally end in tragedy, leaving the poor thing wailing dramatically in her bedroom with a very perplexed Sweetie Belle beating on the door, trying to find out what's wrong, possibly hurrying to find Twilight for help
3010756
A slightly more modern phrasing would be something like "cheeky rogue"
Oh Rarity, poor, poor Rarity.
Rarity writing fanfiction about herself and Twilight. That's like people writing fanfiction about people on YouTube. Oh wait, they already do that.
I can't help but imagine that this Black Knight was Tirac from G1 MLP.
"The game’s afoot!"?
Certainly, you mean "ahoof", right? =P
Overall, a very nice fic, though I did spot some errors that I can point out if you want.
I find that you get the characters across really well, especially Rarity, through the stories she's making up. Speaking of the stories, I find them all quite entertaining, even more so in relation to the meta-story. admittedly, I preferred the two previous ones to the one in this chapter.
The last twist in this chapter is also quite good, and makes me look forward to the next chapter =D
You had my attention with the Sherlock Holmes homage, but you stole my heart with the brilliant use of the line from "The Final Problem" at the end.
Bravo!
3140401
Awhoops. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it in a minute.
Ouch. Sorry Rarity, that's gotta hurt.
Twilight and...Rainbow Dash?
No
Thw Twidash is strong in this one... Hehe. I'm probably the only one who approves of this union in here.
Okay is this fantasy from the movie Rocketeer isn't it? If it is then I got to say I'm impressed that anyone even remembers the movie much less heard of it. Great chapter update soon.
Well, that escalated quickly...
Can't wait to see more drama between Rarity, Twilight and Rainbow Dash. I actually think the bits between Rarity's writing have gotten really interesting. I'd love to see more of that.
But Rocketeer is the awesome-est! Gosh, I am feeling old old old...3251017
3282551
I agree with you, i'm just saying that I didn't think a lot of others have even seen the movie much less heard of it.
Rarity....has issues
I still think she's a better partner for Twilight then Rainbow
Best. Job. Evar.
3527383
It's just like on Walker: Texas Ranger.
Oh my gosh, the "Rocketeer" movie reference!!!!! Epic!!!! You took it line for line!!!!
Alright, you got my interest!
But...but....But I approve of Twidash.....
IDEA!
Make it a threesome!
3798943
I think you mean the first Wolverine movie
>: (
Okay, I like this story for the 'real world' I love it for Rarity's Fantasies!
Oh Rarity, how did you think that would be a good idea?
What?
3800551 Ah damn, did it include my pre-reader's comment?
Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it right away.
3800551
And taken care of. Sorry folks.
3800551 I've been inadvertently quoted? Neat.
Ok, Rarity's plan was really awful... XDDDD
3799302 No, that's definitely the first X-men movie, because Storm is the one who says it.
3801870
That's the joke