Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"The Flame Staff is the best thing that's ever happened to our clan!" exclaimed Aatxe. Rainbow struggled and leaned back and forth to catch a glimpse of the Big Boss, but Blood Fire's intimidatingly large body was blocking all conceivable angles. "It's moved earth... repelled water!" continued the brood king. "It's what made this incredible flying lair possible! Are you trying to say that a power that can move mountains is dangerous?"
"Only when used too strongly, brother," said Blood Fire. "I want this clan to prosper as much as you do, but the thing about collecting a good hoard is knowing when to practice moderation."
"Sounds to me, Blood Fire, that you've long since abandoned thinking like a dragon for thinking like a fragile mortal from the Morsel Lands!"
The other dragons in the room nodded and muttered approvingly.
Blood Fire sighed. Tendrils of smoke poured out of his shapely nostrils. "I don't see what is so 'fragile' about the concept of exercising caution. If we throw our lair over the windy walls that the griffons erected, we'll incur the wrath of every creature east of here—both beastly and non beastly. It's difficult enough conducting the search for the rest of your shards while guarding this castle. Imagine how much thinner our brood will be spread if we make this risky venture—?"
"Are you behind me or not, Blood Fire?"
"You needn't question my dedication to—"
"Are you behind me or not?!"
Silence.
At last, Blood Fire's wings coiled and he said, "I am ever loyal and obedient to you, brother."
"Hmmmm...?"
Blood Fire grumbled, but eventually produced: "I am loyal to you... Big Boss."
"Which is just as Mother intended! And do not forget it!"
"Rrrrghhhh... I don't think I could even if I tried..."
"Seems like there're cracks in the roost," Lancie murmured.
Rainbow Dash nodded from her lofty perch. "Right." She gulped. "Maybe it's high time I took advantage of it."
"Indeed." Lancie leaned back in her saddlebag. "I suppose you could wait until the dragons are asleep and then sneak in to steal this... 'Flame Staff.' Or you could search the walls and pillars of this place for structural deficiencies and destabilize it in just the right place to bring the whole thing crashing down."
"Mmmmm... those ideas all sound too lengthy," Rainbow muttered. "And I've spent enough time getting here as it is."
"Or you could... uhhh... I dunno..." Lancie shrugged. "Make a mad dive for the Staff, risking life and limb for a single suicidal theft."
"Hey! Sure!" Rainbow grinned.
Lancie staggered in place. "Wat."
"Big Boss is sounding like a real moron, and these guys are kind of thick-headed, aside from this Blood Fire guy, of course."
"Of course."
"So... like... I could zip around this place in a circle..." Rainbow motioned. "...putting out the flames and blinding every dragon. Then I'll bounce off Blood Fire's skull super hard, throwing him off guard. Then I fling myself towards the Flame Staff, grab it, and high-hoof it out of here."
"Sparky, I know you're crafty and all, but I find that idea highly dangerous, unnecessarily risky, and downright stupid."
"I know!" Rainbow Dash grinned. "That's why I'm gonna do it."
"I'm with you." Lancie perched atop her neck as her wings stretched. "I suggest a counter-clockwise motion to eliminate all the torches."
"Cool beans. You ready?"
"Nope."
"Let's go!" Then, holding her breath, Rainbow Dash plunged over the balcony's edge. Her body spun around, flapped both wings, and double-backed once reaching the lower level. She pivoted sideways, stretching one wing out as she accelerated at a violent velocity. One after another, she put out the torches through sheer windspeed and momentum. Already, the air heated up with draconian gasps.
"Huh?!"
"What?!"
"Where'd that gust come from?!"
"Brothers, that's no gust—" Began Blood Fire's voice.
"Aaaaaaaand..." Rainbow flew past the last torch, propelled herself off a wall, and sailed straight for the oldest dragon's skull. "...shut you up!" She twirled backwards, bicycle-kicking the dragon upside the chin. WHAM!
"Ooomf!" He grunted, his massive body teetering back slightly.
Rainbow was already bouncing backwards. The throneroom around her spun, and she sailed straight for the petrified spine full of shards resting in its alcove.
"You got this, Sparky!" Lancie hollered, pumping a talon in the air.
"Dang skippy!" Rainbow reached out and grabbed the Staff. "Zoop!"
FLASSSSSH! A bolt of nebulous black and purple energy exploded upon the pony's contact. She was blown back by the chaotic blast, landing on her blue rump in the middle of the floor.
"Oooof... gaaaugh!" Rainbow rolled over several times. "Unnnngh..." She opened her eyes, pupils flickering like red islands against a yellow sea. Shaking her head, she blinked her eyes to normal and gazed around the darkened room. "The hay was that?"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh..." Lancie sat up in her saddlebag, grinning stupidly. "An Ultimate Tier Harmonic Displacement Spell! Nice!" He grinned toothily. "He even got the cool zig-zaggy purple sparkles right!"
"Lancie—!" Rainbow began.
FWOOOOOMB! A circle of red flame surrounded her, lighting up the room. Wincing from the heat, Rainbow looked up to see a tall scaly figure towering over her.
"That's as far as you go, morsel," Blood Fire growled. He tilted his snout up to look beyond her. "Big Boss! Do you see? Just one creature is daring enough to infiltrate the heart of your precious lair! How many more will we have to contend with if we continue our way east?"
"Are you joking, brother?! Look at her! She's no threat! She's a midday snack at best!"
"Whoah, girl!" Lancie chanted. "Are you gonna stand for that—Guh!" The living statue flailed back as Rainbow stood up.
"Alright! That's it! Enough hiding!" Rainbow spun away from Blood Fire and stomped her hooves. "Where are you, Aatxe?! Show yourself! You and I both knew this showdown was inevitable, so let's get it over with you big... big..." She blinked and squinted through the flames. "...just where in the buck are you, anyway?"
"Over here, you stupid horse!"
Rainbow looked at the heavy frame of the throne. "Uhhh... where?"
"Here!"
Blinking, Rainbow peered and peered...
"... ... ...unnngh... down here!"
Rainbow tilted her head lower... and lower and lower. Her ears folded.
Spike's tiny body sat in the middle of the throne. Only, it wasn't Spike. But it looked exactly like him—except he had orange scales with black spines and little stubby wings. His eyes were red slits instead of green, and every time he spoke a chipped fang glistened in Blood Fire's light.
"You want to threaten me, you stare me straight in the face!" the tiny whelp said, voice cracking as he tried his best to sneer the entire time.
"... ... ..." Rainbow blinked. "... ... ...snkkkkt... grkkk—Ha HA Ha HA Ha HA Ha!"
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........
That sums up this whole chapter.
You have got to be kidding me.
The dragons so-called "Big Boss" is a dragon whelp the size of Spike?!
6399570
My thoughts exactly.
6399623
I share Lancie's thoughts for RD's stupid plan. "Wat" indeed. Then again, Lancie was the one who suggested that idea.
Oh, and Big Boss?
Well, Rainbow's luck with the 'stupid plans always win' idea was bound to run out sooner or later. Guess that time is now!
And suddenly Big Boss' questionable intelligence makes a whole lot more sense.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, the little guy probably knows a lot of magic, and Rainbow is probably going to get a lesson on not judging an opponent by their size.
6399635 Saw that one coming a mile away.
6399623 I KNEW IT!
Wow RD way to follow the golden rule. Treat others how you want to be treated! Think about all the times ponies have called you tiny/petite. And you know first-hoof that being small doesn't mean you're incapable.
Though I bet this guy IS pretty incapable, TBH
It's always the little guys.
That is quite possibly the absolute worst thing she could have done, and yet if she'd done anything else she wouldn't be our Dash.
Absolutly great!
Rainbow Dash almost got chaotized. Imagine if she caught something and had to keep some harmonic item on her all the time to keep herself alive.
These two are made for each other
This is a perfect example of why the Lancie/Dash dynamic is one of the best things in the story.
6400775
Completely agreed. That entire 'planning' session was downright fantastic.
There aren't enough facepalms for that plan.
As for the big reveal . . .
...Well...THAT was certainly unexpected...
6399635
6399725 Well, honestly, we should have expected a reveal like this. Our beloved author has become very well known for such unexpected developments.
Welp, whelp happened...
I TOTALLY CALLED HIM BEING TINY I KNEW IT HA!...oh wait, i never typed it in a comment... dammit!
When Rainbow says "zoop" it reminds me of iiSuperwomanii
(skip to 7:05 to see"zoop")
Literally Spike. Evil Demon Spike.
"Watch yourself, Hawke. Having a member of the guard carries little weight here."
That plan was the bomb diggity. Rainbow my girl, you are the shit.
Oh yay I was right! :D
Awwwwww what a little cutie