Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"Welcome to the Crypts of Mortuana," droned a receptionist with eyeshadow, pale coat, and even more eyeshadow. She wore a black dress with multiple lace ribbons and tiny equine skulls dangling from the collar. "Where the living get lucky and the dead even luckier. Are you seeking to be entombed on this bleak day?"
"Well, actually, I'm registered for a tenth story room," Vinyl Scratch said. She stood with her friends in the dimly-lit lobby of the first floor. Fake cobblestone flooring and brick walls were illuminated by tacky wooden torches. The distant sounds of rolling slot machines pierced an ever-permeating howl of artificially generated banshees and spooks through the hotel's sound system. "VIP Section. The name is Scratch... Vinyl Scratch. I bet you'll find my file under tonight's entertainment: DJ-P0N3."
"Ah." The employee's voice lilted ever so slightly. "The deliverer of tonight's festive funeral dirge."
"Eugh..." Lyra facehoofed. "Goddess."
Bon Bon giggled.
"Hey... uhm..." Caramel leaned towards Rainbow Dash, squinting across the lobby. "Are those the bathrooms?"
Rainbow Dash nodded as she hovered. "Yeah. Look like it."
"The doors are labeled 'Stiffs' and 'Cadavers.'" Caramel sighed, ears drooping. "As if public restrooms didn't stress me enough..."
"Here we are, Madame Scratch," the receptionist produced a set of keys. "Room 10-C, Luxury Suites. And you may be pleased to know that your luggage was delivered there an hour ago."
"Kickflank." Vinyl levitated the keys with a nod. "Looks like the manager pulled some strings."
"We're always happy to extend our coldest crypts to the musicians of the night," the receptionist droned, batting an eyelash with spiderweb markings. "Oh... and before I forget." She hoofed over a couple of round chips. "Compliments of the house."
"Hey!" Bon Bon cradled the items in question. "Snazzy!"
Lyra yawned. "I'm surprised she didn't pull that out of a tracheotomy scar."
"Ew, Lyra."
"Crawling with—I dunno—gothic millipedes or something."
"Ew again." Bon Bon groaned, trotting alongside Vinyl. "Let's just get to our room already. I need a shower—" Just as she and Vinyl rounded a pillar, a ceramic ghost stuck out—accompanied by a shrieking sound effect. "Aaaack!"
"Hahahaha!" Rainbow Dash laughed.
"Oh... and be wary of mischievous spirits," the receptionist droned from a distance. "Or else they will follow you all the way to your rooOooOooOoom." A beat. "Have a miserable day."
"Hmmm..." Lyra smirked. "Catchy."
"Grnnngh..." Bon Bon frowned, still catching her breath. "I am not amused."
"Could we go now, please?" Caramel asked. "I could really use that shower too."
"Hey..." Lyra winked. "When you visit the desert, the desert visits you back, no what I'm saying?"
"...no?"
"Eh..." Lyra waved a hoof. "Go huff on lavender."
"I'd like to see the sights of this town, personally," Rainbow said. "My wings need a good stretch."
"Do whatever you like. Me?" Vinyl pivoted about. "I gotta survey the dance hall. Here." She floated the keys over to Bon Bon. "Check on the hotel and my luggage for me. Is that cool?"
"Positively frosty, Vinyl," Bon Bon said.
"I dunno about you, but I'd be more than happy to get this gig out of the way." Vinyl shuddered, trotting towards the opposite end of the lobby. "These poor plebeian saps need a good healthy dosage of Neigh Inch Nails, and I'm the mare to deliver it to them..."
"You do that," Rainbow said, waving. She turned towards the others. "So... onwards and upwards?"
"Yes. Let's hurry." Bon Bon shuffled ahead, heading straight for an elevator. "Before a bunch of employees decide to recruit us for a touristy sacrifice." A screaming plastic skeleton popped out of a wall panel. "AAACK!"
Lyra laughed.
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Yay!! Rainbow laughed in this chapter!
Well, this trip looks to be fun.
Can't wait to see what Dash and the crew get into on this one.
Also, this story is about 26 chapters away from halfway, if Skirts is really gonna make it 2000 chapters.
Geez, I can't even wrap my mind around that many!
I'm struggling to just get Chapters 6 of mine done, to say absolutely nothing of rewrites that I'm having to do on Chapters 1 through 5, and maybe even the Prologue!
Good grief, dude, how do you do it?!
Remember how I said I wasn't a big fan of Vegas? Well, due to an odd series of events I was in vegas yesterday on one of the floors and I was telling a couple friends of mine about the time I was here and someguy punched my car. Not too long after that some guy walks over to us and goes down the line asking all of us if we have a lighter. He gets to me and I say no, he literally says "Fuck you then" gives me a solid punch on the upper back, hard enough to almost knock me over, and walks away. We started laughing, remembering the car story. Needless to say my opinion hasnt changed.
I have a feeling we're going to see Goth Lyra before this is done.
Running gag ho!
So a gothic, "scary" place with a couple of screaming pop out skeletons? Sounds like fun already.
An oddly appropriate setting for Rainbow to get her groove back.
TTTS confirmed as canon in this universe.
7040878 That would cause this universe to implode through internal contradictions. Twilight is not a princess in this story.
7040682 Maybe the Universe is trying to send you a message.
Well, at least Rainbow's getting into the trip.
I sense the Mob is coming
7040677 you mean 126?
only 26 would get us halfway to 1800.
I feel like the receptionist and Maud would get along quite well if they ever were to meet.
(Laugh track #02 plays)
7040677 Actually, Skirts said in a recent blog that the fic is approaching the 1/3rd mark.
7040677 You should read some of the recent blog posts of Shortskirtsandexplosions. He recently said he has all the arcs of the story kind of planned, and the story is at some point before the second but after the first (I suppose the first arc was all that stuff with the Discord pieces).
7040878
TTTS?
Also:
What happened to 3?
7041176 D'oh!
Sorry, you're right. My figures would have only taken the count to chapter 900.
Math never has been my strong point, sadly.
7041528 Okay.
I'll have to hunt that one up and read it.
1/3 of the way? Ouch.
Ohhhhhh, that means we've still got a looooooooong old road ahead of us yet.
7041567 Okay.
I plan on doing that, actually.
Thanks for the info, though.
7040725
Now THAT is a Vegas hotel I would definitely stay at! Screw all those fancy-schmancy themed tourist traps; gimme haunted house lulz instead.
7041720
TTTS --The Things Tavi Says - an intense and relatively short (by Skirtsian standards of short) fic centered on Vinyl and Octavia. DJ-PON4 is the new DJ-PON3. It is apparently now required reading, and totally worth it.
7042035
Required reading for what?
For some reason, I totally read the receptionist's dialogue with Maud's voice.
7041356
Ah, see! Someone else gets this.
Well, this is certainly an interesting start to their vacation, I would not have expected a themed hotel, much less a gothic themed one.
7041124
Meh, that would be so cliche... yet fitting. There's gotta be some sort of criminal element for Rainbow to kick around here, i suppose.
7040996 You're right, maybe the next time I'm there I'll get punched in the face.
7042122 You're not alone. I thought it was Maud too
7040682 And you and your friends just let him get away with assaulting you....? I know I sound like a keyboard warrior saying this, but some dude punches one of my buddies in front of me and he's getting turfed hard.
When's the last time Lyra had coffee?
...cheery.
What the. . . . Is this Spooky’s House of Jumpscares? . . . Or, sorry. Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion?