Twilight sighed to herself as she wandered around Ponyville, taking in the sights of yet another party underway. It was relaxing to know no one would expect anything of her this week. Last week had been a get together with Cadence, with plans to talk about the details of her life in other galaxies that she wouldn't want to talk about in front of a large group (specifically, Cadence had expressed concern regarding the mention of 'Dark Star' and the issues connected therein, and had offered to listen to anything Twilight needed to say in private). Of course, Discord being Discord had stuck his oar in, having apparently come down with 'Blue Flu'. He hadn't expected Twilight's approach to 'sick friend', however...nor had he anticipated just how thorough Twilight's medical knowledge was. The sight of the 'lab' she'd dragged him to for 'medical investigation' had been rather unnerving with how effectively it balanced mad science chaos with medically exact order...especially considering it could actually account for the chaos he released.
One far too thorough medical investigation complete with probing and a dose of chaos-attuned nanotech later, and Discord was torn between feeling put out that things hadn't gone according to plan or mortified at just how far Twilight had gone to treat him. When she'd then told him to his face that she wouldn't forgive herself for not doing everything in her power to help a friend in need - which he was - he'd found he hadn't the heart to tell her he'd faked the entire thing. ...Twilight had decided from the start not to tell him that she'd known that from the start, and she and Cadence had shared a good laugh about it afterwards. She had no qualms with laughing at a joke at Discord's expense. Knowing him, he'd find it just as hilarious in hindsight.
She found herself snapped out of her musings as she came across Pinkie Pie overenthusiastically watering Sugarcube Corner's front lawn. This was rather suspicious, since Sugracube Corner's front lawn consisted of a cobblestone path, a bed of flowering succulents, and a drain most of the water was pouring into. "Pinkie...are you feeling alright?" Twilight asked worriedly.
Pinkie started to open her mouth, then paused. Her eyes spun around a few times, and then she stared flatly at Twilight. "Now I know how Daddy felt when he first met you," she muttered under her breath. "What's the point of even reading the script...?"
"Huh?" Twilight inquired, thoroughly confused.
"Nothing!" Pinkie offered quickly. "And I'm doing just fine, Twilight! Why wouldn't I be?"
Twilight frowned, thinking back over the course of the day. "...maybe because Rainbow completely snubbed you as a party planner for her birthaversarry in favor of Cheese Sandwich without even realizing doing so would hurt your feelings?" she inquired incisively.
Pinkie stared wide-eyed at Twilight, dropping the watering can from her hoof. "...I am never going to get used to you being perceptive. My mind is officially a candle."
Twilight blinked a few times, then shook her head. She decided to focus on the issue. "And you're conflicted because-"
"Because she's my friend and it's her birthaversarry so she should get what she wants and I want her to be happy but at the same time it feels like my very purpose for being has been called into question by one of my best friends and-" Pinkie found her words muffled by Twilight's hoof.
"As long as we're on the same page, let's talk in sentences that don't take up entire pages, alright?" Twilight pleaded hopefully. "...not to say I know what relevance that's supposed to have here, but it sounds like something you'd say so I hope it gets through to you."
"Mmmfhy!" Pinkie squeaked around the hoof.
Twilight sat down to try and help Pinkie. "Alright...let's look at things a little differently. Try putting yourself in Cheese Sandwich's shoes."
"But he doesn't wear shoes!" Pinkie countered. "Well, except those cheese blocks when he's dancing. But how is sticking cheese on my hooves supposed to help my emotional state? I'll try it if you really think it will help-"
Twilight's hoof once more took a dose of Pinkie saliva to stop the flow of words. "Metaphorically," Twilight clarified as she removed her hoof.
"...yeah, I'm no good at those," Pinkie allowed apologetically. "I always end up making them accidentally literal from all the stuff I have stashed around Ponyville for irony emergencies."
Twilight blinked a few times. "I want you to imagine a scenario for me, Pinkie," she tried again. "A 'what would you do' sort of scenario, based on what I tell you. Can you do that?"
"I can try!" Pinkie proclaimed eagerly.
"Alright," Twilight agreed. "Imagine two friends who have been friends for a really long time. One friend has always planned the parties to celebrate the big events in the other friend's life. It's become a tradition, and they both look forward to it. Can you imagine that?"
"Oh, easily!" Pinkie agreed eagerly. "It sounds a lot like me and Rainbow Dash!"
"Except in this scenario it isn't," Twilight clarified.
"Why not?" Pinkie asked curiously. "I kinda thought that was what you were getting at."
"Because in this scenario, these friends move to Ponyville, and you give them the usual greeting you give every new pony you meet," Twilight explained.
"Oh yeah!" Pinkie agreed as her eyes lit up. "I couldn't give the 'new pony' greeting to myself, cause I'm not a new pony to me...unless I am? What if it's a me from another dimension? What if she's offended because I don't give her the 'new pony' greeting and thinks I'm a substandard Pinkie?" She grabbed Twilight and began to shake her. "What do I do, Twilight? I can't be a substandard member of the Pinkie Continuum! They'll sic the Equestrian Inquisition on me when I least expect them!"
"Pinkie, focus," Twilight interrupted. "It's not another you."
"Oh, okay," Pinkie allowed, plopping herself back down on the ground.
Twilight took a couple of calming breaths. "Alright...so you greet these two new ponies, and you find that one of them has a birthday coming up-"
"Oh, I absolutely have to go all out planning their birthday party!" Pinkie insisted. "I mean, they just arrived in Ponyville!" She suddenly gasped dramatically. "But that would make the other friend super duper sad because they aren't the one planning the celebration! Like I am, since I'm not the one planning Rainbow's! But I wouldn't let that go on long. I mean, I barely know this new pony. I don't even know their hypothetical gender yet, let alone the important stuff!" She suddenly gasped dramatically. "And Cheese Sandwich doesn't know the important stuff about Rainbow! All he can do is make a celebration that's huge and flashy! He can't tailor it to Rainbow! I need to run right over there and tell him everything he needs to know to make it a huge and flashy party just for her!" She started to turn to run off, then froze. "Oh, you are good!" Pinkie praised.
Twilight chuckled as she stroked her chest fluff with one hoof. "I have my moments."
"Kinda a pity this is already gonna be fixed though," Pinkie admitted sadly. "I was kinda hoping to actually find out what a butt spatula was.(1)"
Twilight's mind raced, and eventually hit on something she thought Pinkie might be talking about. "Proctological surgical tool."
"...yeah, don't wanna know anymore," Pinkie concluded as she pronked off to see Cheese Sandwich.
"Cheese!" Pinkie called out as she popped out of a crate of party supplies right in front of the orange stallion. "You've got some explaining to do, mister! And some listening!"
"I do?" Cheese Sandwich asked in confusion. "I'm pretty sure I had some party planning to do."
"That's what I'm talking about!" Pinkie insisted. "You don't know anything about Rainbow personally, but I do! You need my intimate knowledge of my best friend to tailor your huge and flashy party specifically to her tastes and pleasures so it's the biggest and best birthaversarry party ever!"
"But I was trying to manage that without asking you," Cheese Sandwich explained logically.
Pinkie blinked several times. "Wait, what? Why?"
"To show you how far I've come because of you," Cheese Sandwich offered warmly.
"...huh?" Pinkie demanded in shock.
After a quick detailing of Cheese Sandwich's origin story and how he became a super duper party pony because of meeting Pinkie Pie, Pinkie chewed her lip. "Wait a second...are you saying you swooped into Ponyville and took my best friend's birthaversarry planning out of my hooves with the intent of showing me up leaving me questioning my very existence...as some sort of present for me?"
"Uh...yes?" Cheese offered worriedly.
Pinkie's eyes started to water. "Cheese...that's the sweetest, most twisted, most illogical thing anypony has ever done for me! C'mere, you!" Reaching forward, she grabbed Cheese around the neck and pulled him into the crate of party supplies, the lid nailing itself back on behind them.
A couple hours later, Cheese Sandwich brought in a replacement crate of party supplies, as that one was no longer usable for Rainbow's party.
When she received an explanation as to why, Cadence dutifully forked over the wagered 1000 bits to Twilight with a proud smile.
The party proved to be the biggest Ponyville had ever seen, and when Cheese went off to continue spreading joy to the entire continent, he left two things behind in Pinkie's care. The first was a rubber chicken that gave off an odd rainbow sheen.
The second was a ring.
(1) This joke is a reference to another joke from one of the later chapters of The Wheel and the Buttrfly: A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga, one of my favorite stories by the talented Justice3442. Had to include it.
Pinkie-focused story segments tend to get away from most authors.
It's like she's right there, writing the story with you.
...Hmm, not sure if that's the right emoticon for that sentence.
It's like she's right there, writing the story with you.
That's better.
7918682
That explains quite a bit about "You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter".
Well.... it shows that Pinkie came over and helped writing this chapter
again, that is
7918687
...yeah, I got nothing.
Also, CheesePie, the ship who's crew puts on pirate costumes and proceeds to sail the desert. Because they can.
Must been a real party in there.
Somehow I can see them being next door neighbors to the Q Continuum. It would explain so much,
A ring? I didn't remember Cheese gave Pinkie a ring in the show.
7918692 That was a bad One Piece reference you made.
never heard a phrase like that before.
So... We have wedding in the works... Hooboy... I almost wish to see that be an arc...
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That's what happens when you write for Pinkie. If you know her well enough, you'll find that she tends to.... well, let's just say...
7918787 He didn't in canon but, here he did.
I would pull Beyonce got put a ring on but, I don't really need to. Discord got a call from himself well Q and said to hold on that Spanish inquisition.
Oh lord poor Picard when he has to raise Celestia especially when it'll probably be Q who drops her off....
...I actually don't know what to say, while the ending is sweet in a way-
Actually now that I think about it, neither of them have all that much of a personality so I guess it could work out.
7918702 This comment deserves every like in the world.
You had me worried that the second thing was something other then a ring. Glad to see it was just the key that Pinkie needed and a possible marriage in the future.
7918787 He most likely asked her to marry him. Seems she said yes.
7918825 Considering that Picard in StarTreck Cannon HATES kids with a passion at the beginning of the series though about 2\3 through he begins to tolerate then like kids
Twilight is breaking out her shipping skills. After setting up her 'father' with not one, but 4 different women, one of which was a certifiable villain, she can probably go toe to hoof with even Cadence.
I expect we'll see more of these, for each of the other Mane 6, and Spike for good measure.
It's Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich. And your Twilight Sparkle. If it hadn't gotten away from you, I'd worry for your sanity. And coming from me, that's saying something. The only way it'd be worse is if Discord had a larger role than just being mentioned in this chapter. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
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7918839
Behold, and tremble mortals..........Pinkie Continuum.
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Remember the days when getting into the featured box was a major accomplishment for you, tats? Now it seems the number of times you get into the dammed thing can be counted by the number of chapters your stories have...
…I just had a thought about the most absurd, over-the-top method for dealing with Tirek.
Pinkie, I need to know the chant for the mirror pool.
Okie-dokie-lokie!
*ten minutes later, Twilight duplicates her arsenal and equips the Mane Six with RYNO suits*
7919156
If this happened Equestria and their entire world would be doomed. Dooooooooooooomed!!!
huh. twilight is a beter shiper then cadence. talk about from learning from the best.
That shipping, though.
It was a good Pinkie chapter, Tatsu; can't really tell if the chapter really got away from you or not.
YUS! CHEESEPIE FOR THE WIN!
Pinkie and Cheese are great alone but... they're cheddar together!
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And if I was making a One Piece reference, you might have had a point there. Sand Pirates are a larger trope than just one franchise.
7919052 a pinkie pie spider, thanks for the nightmare fuel
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Now, think about Mirror Pond incident......You thought of it? Good.
So......"good night, sleep tight, don’t let the spider bite"
it's Pinkie Pie that is usually a given
And now their offspring.
7919845 i have arachnophobia jurk
Loved the chapter! But just oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone question... Was that ring, a DONUT?!
So Cheese Pie is a thing??? Man, I feel sorry for the ponies who baby sit their kids, even if the kids don't try to cause trouble they'll be little 4th wall breaking reality warpers.
7919156 This is the perfect combination of There is No Kill Like Overkill and More Dakka. But I don't think Equestria could handle that much concentrated awesome.
7920479 ......Oh, i didn't know about it.......Well, my fault.I'm sorry,......just don't think about it, and everything should be fine.
7919665 Didn't Avatar: the Last Airbender have sand pirates?
7918809
It was a setup for a joke Twilight didn't follow up with.
Your mind is...a candle?
Yup! And you've just blown it!
Pinkie, you blow candles out.
Well I can't say it's that other thing you blow! That's your schtick in this story, and I don't think Nefarious would like you blowing me that way.
Nefarious: Too much crazy! Too much crazy!
With these references you are out to get my heart!
Will Pinkie's kids also be immune to the 4th wall?
Love Pinkie and Cheese getting together. In fact, given Twilight's past hobbies, I'm surprised she isn't actively shipping all her new friends.
7993385
Pinkie isn't immune to the fourth wall; she just likes to break it.
On that note though, probably at least one. The rest are probably going to take after Maud, Marble, and Limestone.
Cute, though I was so expecting something other than a ring.
8196386
What if she is, and we just haven't seen it cause Tat isn't writing those scenes out?
I feel this should actually happen in the show, we already had two wedding episodes (I haven't seen Season 7 or any future seasons yet) in the series, so why not one for any of the Mane 6
9393381
This chapter turned out to be prophetic. In the series finale, taking place years after all the bad guys were defeated, we find out Pinkie and Cheese have a son (I think) named Li'l Cheese.
9393381
In cannon she does have a kid with him