Candy was staring at herself.
Where am I?
I-I thought I fell asleep?
But there she was, standing in her office, dressed in her EBI uniform and equipped with her gear.
And in front of her was another version of her, sitting in her chair. Although she could have sworn that something about the copy was off.
Regardless, Candy prepared her magic ready to strike at a moment's notice.
“Who are you?” she demanded to know.
The only response was a mocking smirk.
“I asked you a question, who are you?”
This time the only reply she got was her copy shifting in her chair.
“Don’t you dare!” she threatened.
But it was too late.
The other mare changed her position on the chair, somehow managing to put her legs on the table, messing up dozens of documents.
She even managed to knock over some ink, spilling it all over the table, tarnishing them further.
You did that on purpose.
“I am Candy. Or am I?” she smugly replied.
You look like me… but your voice… you talked to me!
“You strangled me!” Candy was ready to take the threat out right here and now.
But she wouldn't.
She had to know what she was dealing with first.
What she was dealing with and if it was indeed a threat to take out or not.
So, for now, she would not attack.
Not unless convinced otherwise.
After all, the use of force was always supposed to be the last resort, except for a select amount of circumstances.
“I did.” The unknown mare levitated a picture of Candy to herself.
Don’t.
She is trying to set you off.
Stay professional.
Candy snatched it using her own magic.
Her eyes wandered on it.
My appointment as the Director of the EBI.
The picture had hung on the wall for an eternity.
But attention it hadn’t gotten for a very long time.
"How kind of her to personally hand us our Certificate of Appointment." Before the intruder could snatch that one, too, Candy had already jerked it towards herself. “We deserved that after what she did, Candy.”
There had been a big emphasis on her name.
Candy.
Candy.
Candy.
You know.
She could feel it. “Are you me?” She asked what should be impossible.
“Maybe.” Another mocking smirk.
You look just like me… wait, something is not right.
The colours are off.
The colour set of your uniform is a lighter blue than it should be.
Was that intentional or an oversight?
Tipped off that something was wrong, Candy took a look at her surroundings.
It’s too clean.
No dust.
Everything is in perfect order besides what she messed up.
It was a beautiful office.
Despite being modernised several times, the room in itself had preserved its classical design. A beautiful wooden floor and walls adorned by expensive golden ornaments, symbolising, among other things, the EBI emblem, the equestrian flag and, of course, the cutie mark of their ruler.
But this is too perfect.
She focused on the table.
It was a modern one, which Candy felt was more suitable for her work and more comfortable. It was for this reason that she had replaced the old huge oaken one that had stood there before with it, back when she became the head of the EBI.
Admittedly though, the modern and minimalistic piece of furniture looked out of place when compared to the other furniture.
You messed my work up…
I wonder if…
She focused on the jumbled ink-soaked documents.
Next thing Candy knew, everything was in order again.
This is a dream.
This is my mind.
And it meant she was the one truly in control.
The unknown mare felt her hooves fall through the supposed-to-be solid table, finding herself on the ground as a result. “My. My. What a show of hostility. That really was unnecessary.
“Though, I suppose we always found a way to be violent without breaking protocol or the rules.”
Only for those that deserved it.
“But even when it turned out they didn’t, you never took the necessary consequences.” The mare had picked herself up again.
A small plush was in her hooves.
Amaya…
Blood began spilling out of the plushes leg.
“A shame we only managed to shoot her in the leg and not the intended-”
“She had a poisoned knife. I was acting within my authority and used an appropriate amount of force.
“Our personal safety has priority,” Candy stood by her actions, firmly shutting the other pony up.
I would have regretted it…
But I wasn’t in the wrong.
“Of course, Celestia’s safety is our number one priority.” The mare rolled her eyes, throwing the plush into a corner. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Miss Innocent?”
I threatened her…
"It is painful to be shot in the leg from such a small distance, you know? Especially when you have already been shot once." The unknown intruder sat herself down on the table, once more messing everything up and began dangling her legs around. “I know that you know that.”
I couldn’t have known…
I shouldn’t have done that.
“But of course, the end justified the means.” The other pony jumped down again.
Why do you even have control in my own mind?
A familiar predatory smile was directed at her.
Next thing she knew, her ears picked up a familiar voice. “Candy?”
You didn’t….
You didn’t!
“Candy!” A familiar bat pony threw herself into her hooves, with tears in her eyes, coming from the direction the plush had been thrown in. “I was so scared…. I thought she would kill me…
“Thank you for saving me.”
It seemed the filly was unable to see her other version that just stared at the scene with curious and, for some reason encouraging eyes.
“Amaya… I…”
She isn’t real…
She is just a creation of her and your mind…
And yet, dispelling the bat pony felt deeply wrong.
As if it would be another murder.
I will make you pay for that.
Candy tried to carefully prey the bat pony away from her.
Not real.
Not real.
You are trained for this.
“You should sleep, Amaya. Having to go through this must have been tiring." The moment she had spoken this, sleep indeed overcame the filly.
Gently Candy lowered her onto the wooden floor.
“Are you some kind of dark magic manifestation?” That must be it.
She was told that it could happen if one began falling to it.
“Possibly.” It sounded like the mare had just told a foal that they were close to the correct answer.
You must be.
But you aren’t acting like I was told you would.
“Why aren’t you admitting it?” It’s not like the admission would change anything. She still wouldn’t be able to kill her.
Not here and not now.
Dark magic corruption…
The mare was a result of it, and only no more further use of dark magic might be able to get rid of her again.
Only…
That’s not really an option now, is it?
I, too, would die.
“How come you are overlooking the clear signs of corruption Celestia shows?” Her copy began making circles around her, like a predator playing with its prey.
“She is-”
“Stronger than others?” She stopped right in Cady’s face, glaring at her with an accusatory look.
“…”
“She is pathetically weak, imprisoned by the past and acting as its enforcer.” They were spoken with far more conviction than what Candy had seen justified.
You…
You only know what I do, right?
“How come you are free?” It seemed her personal demon was finished beating around the bush.
She will pitch me an offer.
Don’t fall for it.
Remember your training and stay strong.
Whatever would leave the mouth of the entity before her, a mare sculpted from dark magic and masquerading as her, would be nothing but lies and empty promises. That she knew. “Free?”
“How come you are a vile creature of darkness, yet you walk among the light?” It sounded as if the pony-like entity facing her thought she was stupid.
Creature of darkness…
You are right…
I am not acting as I should.
How had she missed this?
I just went about my day as if I was still me.
“I-I-”
“The dark magic that should have possessed you is going somewhere, you know?” Magic didn’t just disappear into thin air.
No…
How could you do this to yourself…
“Any moment you exist, she is willingly and knowingly absorbing what should have driven you mad.” Candy was walking among the light.
But only because the clouds, blocking it out, were flying somewhere else.
“She is no Twilight.
“You are no Spike.”
The dragon?
What about him?
Another warning that the mare did know more than she did.
But right now, Celestia was more important.
“…”
Only she didn’t know how to help her.
“What now?” A hoof was placed around her.
It looked like she was being comforted by a lifelong friend.
This is it…
The offer…
Doubt was arousing whether or not she would be able to stay strong.
Now I see why ponies fall…
“I-I-I-
“I need to protect her,” Candy mumbled.
The entity knew what she was thinking. “She will be so grateful once you are gone.”
“She will miss me.” The only way to help who she held dear the most wasn’t an option.
“Indeed. And with you gone, she will be completely alone, ready to be taken by the darkness anyway.” Because it was already there.
Already visible.
Even if no more fuel was given to the fire, it was already burning, waiting to consume its victim.
Who would be left to extinguish what was already burning? “There aren’t many more ponies preventing her from falling,” the entity warned Candy.
Prevent her from falling?
“Who are you!” Candy jerked the hoof away and whirled around to face the mare again.
“It’s funny…. It has been a long time since I had a conversation like this… I think…” The entity mused with a victorious expression. “It is rare that you can become one with the darkness yet follow the light…
“I don’t think I am supposed to genuinely help you…
“But there seems to be nothing stopping me.” As always, it was free to do as it pleased.
That’s ludicrous!
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “Are you… the Nightmare?”
“You know the Nightmare isn’t real.
“You know that while magic, including dark magic, is a separate entity that has some sort of mind of its own, there still isn’t something called the “Nightmare”.” It seemed that the other pony had taken offence to the question. “Celestia just described the worst of the worst that Luna had succumbed to, thanks to the voices filling her with lies.
“But it was still her who began using dark magic and gave in to it. By referring to her current form as the "Nightmare", Celestia is simply setting up the redemption ark for her poor, poor little sister.” The entity spat before halting. “Actually… was it me that whispered those things?”
You don’t know?
Or was it just show to make Candy lower her guard. “Are you, my voice?” She tried to get definite confirmation that the entity facing her was what she thought it was.
But she didn’t get one.
“If I am here helping you, then how much worse are the whispers she is hearing in return?”
***
There was a bright flash, and she felt her future self disappear.
Rainbow stayed.
She stayed and stared once again at a perfect copy of herself.
A perfect copy that wore a familiar glowing necklace providing light.
Only with no cutie mark on the piece of jewellery this time.
“Loyalty…” Rainbow greeted it, unsure what exactly to say.
But Loyalty didn’t greet her in return. Instead, it circled through expressions of pure hatred, sadness, happiness and pride before continuing to circle back to hatred.
It did that for what felt like an eternity before it halted, staring at her with empty eyes.
It was waiting for her to say something again.
Rainbow's eyes focused on the necklace that once bore her cutie mark.
The feeling that she had lost something amazing was back in full force.
I don’t need you…
I don’t need you…
I don’t need you…
“I don’t care about you, your opinion or your element or harmony,” she lied. “You rejected me, and I reject you.” A desperate lie to hide how much she had been hurt by it.
Loyalty continued to muster her with empty eyes.
“I… good luck. I hope you will find harmony on your own so that we don’t have to see each other again.” It was a stark contrast from the last time they had talked.
You had it.
You had it, and you ruined it!
Twilight had been right.
And she had almost won.
But as always, she had messed up at the very end.
“Wait!” Rainbow screamed desperately before it forced her to leave the realm she was in.
It may have hurt you, and you don't know what plans it has, but with it on your side, you will more than likely be better off than without it.
“I can still read your thoughts…” it mumbled. “I need to leave. We have no business bothering those that reject us.”
“You don’t?” That was a curious bit of information that had been revealed to her there.
“It… if we could do that, then what is stopping me from pressuring you into doing my bidding?” They could just mentally torture their bearers into becoming puppets. “No… the rules are the rules. We are not to force our bearers into doing what we want them to do. The rainboom was already stretching it.”
Who makes rules for gods?
“Are those like self-imposed rules?” Rainbow tried to clarify.
“We agreed on these with the other forces out there. Those rules are the only thing keeping your universe together. It was bad enough when Discord broke them, and now Magic is following him.” Discord had paid the price.
Magic would, too, if it followed. That Loyalty was sure of. “It’s like it has completely forgotten why they exist and how severe the consequences will be if the others decide to take action because of it.”
But Magic couldn’t see it.
And Loyalty had failed to turn Magic back from the path of certain doom, becoming a villain in the process.
I… I barely understood what you just said.
It was just way too vague.
But at least Rainbow got the general message. “Then I take back what I said. I don’t reject you.”
Get the element.
Just get the bucking element.
Rainbow cursed herself.
It could read her thoughts.
But how could you think about what to think without thinking about it?
“I…
“I suppose…” Loyalty wasn’t convinced.
The filly needed to do better to persuade it that it shouldn’t leave her.
“I know why you are angry at the alicorns!” Rainbow remembered the advice given.
Unexpectedly, a glimmer of hope shined in Loyalties eyes. “Why?”
“Because they have betrayed you. Betrayed harmony.” The young pegasus beamed as if she had solved the meaning of life.
However, she hadn’t. “Wrong! I don’t care that they haven’t done what I wanted them to! The answer was right in front of you, yet here we are! I can’t believe a pony like you wants to represent my element! How can you, if you don’t even understand the most basic things about loyalty, you moron! Ever considered that your teachers may have been right about you, you-”
A punch to the face stopped its rant.
“Wanna continue?” Rainbow had taken a fighting stance in front of it.
Idiot.
You are a pure idiot attacking a god like that.
But to her credit, Rainbow didn’t waver.
“Ouch,” Loyalty rubbed its snout in disbelief. “We have existed since the beginning of the universe, yet this was the second time anypony has dared to hurt any of us directly.
"Both times, it was you who did that." The blue filly could almost feel the piercing glare she received.
Bully.
It is a bully.
And she knew not to show weakness in front of bullies. "Yeah! Maybe somepony should have knocked some sense into you earlier! If they had done that, then you might not have turned from an element of harmony into a disgusting bully!”
It had waited for her to finish as if it didn’t really think she would dare to voice her thoughts.
However, Rainbow had dared to voice them.
Lightning formed around Loyalty. “Take that back!“
It can’t hurt you.
Magic will protect you.
Rainbow simply couldn’t allow the hurtful insults from earlier to be left without a retort that would at least hurt as much.
And the way Loyalty reacted indicated that she was accomplishing that goal. “Never! I bet the reason why the world is so screwed up isn't because of the alicorns but because you have lost your way!”
Next thing she knew, she was hit by a lightning bolt, causing her to whirl through the void while being electrocuted at the same time.
A desperate scream of pain broke through the silence that encompassed the emptiness.
Loyalty teleported to where the filly had ended up slamming into the smoking pony and standing on top of her. “I said take it back!” More lightning bolts were shooting from its wings into the air, intended to underline to the young pegasus what was in store if she didn’t. It kind of reminded Rainbow of the princess and how she attacked her.
“Take it back!” The more Loyalty repeated its demand, the more desperate its voice became.
But again, the filly stayed silent.
Too silent.
***
“Then stop whispering!” Candy jumped the entity in front of her, slamming them both into the table, destroying it.
There was no pain.
Punch after punch was thrown at her lookalike.
Her copy didn’t flinch.
You can’t hurt it.
You can’t defeat it.
She grabbed her and tried to choke the mare, despite knowing it would have no effect. “Stop corrupting her!”
“I don’t know if I can,” Her copy managed to choke out.
“Why not! What are you!” Candy let go of her and picked herself up, staring at the bloody pony lying in what was once an office table. The mare was a sorry sight, not only beaten but being covered by documents as well as office supplies and even having black ink in her mane.
Lying there and staring at the ceiling, the entity began mumbling. "Dark magic..."
“Dark magic with no desire to harm.” It had done stuff it understood was questionable.
Showing Candy Amaya.
Reminding her of who she really was.
Confronting her with the worst aspects of her character.
But it only wanted to help the pony it was part of. “When you fall…
“Only rarely does someone keep the clouds away.
“Only rarely does the light continue to shine.”
Is this what’s going on?
Does no corruption mean...
Does it mean that my own nightmare does not want to harm me?
Was that how it worked?
I am a being of dark magic.
Dark magic tends to cause you to see another version of yourself, fuelled by your worst traits and desires.
But what if there was no corruption along with it?
Was this the result?
The mare continued to lie on the ground, reflecting on her meaning. “I know things…
“I know what I did…
“But…
“It doesn’t feel like that was me…
“I am just me…
“I am just you…
“I don’t think I can influence anything of what is happening…”
It knew why it was here and what it was supposed to do.
But why?
To what end?
Destruction and suffering only for the sake of causing destruction and suffering?
“I came to be because of dark magic...
“I think this is why I know more than you…
“Your memories as well as what it knows…
“What it did and does.” But that was it.
Magic was a force in itself.
A force it was only part of.
It wouldn’t be able to influence anything happening around it.
It wasn’t aligned with the will of the dark magic around it.
A force with the sole focus of destroying everything.
It could be the truth…
It genuinely could be the truth…
Candy had expected an offer.
But she got an identity crisis instead.
No attempt to take over her.
Only attempts to help, executed in a way one would expect from something that was created by dark magic.
You said you know more than I do.
A hoof was extended to her copy.
Light washed over the mare on the ground.
Carefully Candy helped the healed pony up. “What do you know?”
“I- I- I-
“I don’t think I am supposed to say that.” Were there consequences for doing so?
I won’t back down now.
“I need to know,” Candy pressed.
“I…
“It can be fixed.” There was the history of a universe to tell.
But it probably would be better to focus on what was most important right now. “It stays with you forever. That is true.
“But it is also true that every single creature has dark magic as part of oneself.”
We do?
“It stays dormant usually, with there being so little that it is undetectable...
“I… I… I…” The mare in front of her began mumbling incoherently.
“Hey! Stay with me!” Candy tried to snap her back. “How does it work?”
“I don’t know.”
What!
“You told me-”
“I know… but I just… I just can’t recall anything anymore…” It was as if the magic she was part of had detected something was wrong and cut her off.
“I am sorry…
“It thinks that I am broken. Maybe I am now...” Pain lay in the eyes of her copy.
“It will try to fix me and replace me with what I should be…
"The moment Celestia falls, I will pounce.”
***
If you are surrounded by nothing.
If darkness is all around you.
If you can look left or right, up or down.
If you focus on what is in front of you, yet still are only rewarded with an endless void.
Then how come I am not falling eternally to my doom?
How come I feel as if I am on solid ground if I am surrounded by pure nothing?
How did the plane work she found herself in?
Rainbow had never even considered questioning the concept of a ground below her.
But now that she did, realising she had been walking, standing, and was currently lying in what could be considered a black sky was severely unsettling.
If I begin falling….
Good thing I have wings.
Surely, they wouldn’t fail her here, right?
Right?
Why don’t I feel pain?
She had literally been electrocuted.
I should be dead, shouldn’t I?
She hadn’t thought that Loyalty would actually go for it.
But it had.
Painfully the lightning bolts had surged through her body.
I could have sworn I smelled my own body burning.
Rainbow felt like puking at that memory.
It didn’t help that she could still smell a bit of smoke around her, reminding her that it actually happened.
But then I impacted the ground…
And, after that one final burst of pain had passed, she felt just fine.
There was no more pain as if nothing had happened.
What now?
Should I-
Rainbow felt as if the air had been kicked out of her lungs, the action of her element violently ramming into her, robbing her of the ability to scream, while simultaneously reminding her that even if harm didn't seem to be permanent, it was still possible to feel pain in this unknown place.
“I said take it back!” Loyalty sounded as if it was the one being violently assaulted.
The blue filly was wriggling around in pain under its hooves.
Even if her former element had taken on the form of herself, therefore only being a filly, it was still able to make her feel continuous pain by standing on top of her chest and ramming its hooves into her.
Ramming them into her, fully knowing it would cause pain for her and wanting precisely that.
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
It was too much.
She couldn’t think clearly like this.
She only wanted to stop feeling the terrible pain it was causing her by having her pinned like this, entirely at its mercy.
“Take it back!” Although the pain threatened to tear up her vision, Rainbow managed to take a look at the display it was making just for her.
She saw the same thing she had seen before was electrocuted the last time. The many lightning bolts that were shooting from its wings into the air intended to underline to her what was in store if she didn’t.
But why wasn’t it frying her like it had before?
Rainbow stopped struggling and closed her eyes to blank out the pain.
She could feel the pressure on her chest being alleviated.
The uncertainty that it felt at her actions.
Actions that were so unexpected.
Finally, she was given enough air to talk again. “You are just like Celestia.
“You can’t handle it when ponies see through your facade because then they confront you with the true image of yourself you hate so much.
“In a way, I get that.”
Rainbow smiled confidently at her former element, which was stumbling backwards as if it had just been dealt a critical blow, allowing her to get up.
Princess Celestia didn’t break me, and you won’t either.
If I stood firm against her, then I will also stay firm against you!
Maybe she would lose.
But if she hadn’t given it her all that day, then maybe she would already be a mindless drone for the princess, with no memory of Twilight.
Give it your all.
Don’t give in.
You can’t let it win.
Only she was unsure what this burst of confidence should be used for.
Sure. Being reminded of what had happened with Celestia had, in a surprise turn of events, given her the strength to fight back.
But that strength had no goal.
She couldn’t kill Loyalty. That she was certain of.
Not that she was sure that she would, even if she could. Twilight thought it was important, and she had learned that her fillyfriend was usually right in such matters.
Hadn’t they just gotten away from the kill-or-be-killed life? Didn’t they both agree that it would only lead to their ruin? No, that could not be the answer.
She also didn’t know how to get away from here.
And technically, the goal was to get it to back off. Maybe even find common ground to work towards harmony, Rainbow recalled Twilight's words again.
Everything is fine…
You are fine…
You both hurt each other…
But try to look past it…
Don’t let yourself get agitated again.
Just-
"I am not like Celestia." It had stared at her during all of her inner conflict, yet that was the best it managed to come up with.
Then again, it was probably hard to string together a justification for what had just transpired.
You are right.
Considering I am just fine, I don’t think I was in any real danger.
“You are just show, aren’t you?” That sounded meaner than intended.
“You shouldn’t insult the virtues of harmony…
“Or insinuate that we are no longer working in service of harmony…” It was still struggling to justify its actions while not being forced to address them.
Maybe you aren’t a bully, after all?
It was weird that it had just backed off and sounded so uncertain all of a sudden.
“Or insinuate that we are no longer working in service of harmony…”
Is me insinuating it the issue?
Or it being the truth you want to hide?
Maybe the answer was both.
“You can’t deny the truth.
“What you planned to do to Twi was more than enough proof.” Rainbow tried to carefully navigate towards the goal Twilight had given her.
I can make this work, Twi.
I will be able to wake up and tell you how I, for once, did something for you.
“Even in that regard, you are similar to Celestia. She, too, planned to only use her.” That was bound to get a reaction.
Hopefully, the one she wanted.
A practised smile appeared on Loyalty's face.
Standing perfectly still, keeping eye contact and breathing as little as possible, it delivered its retort in an almost monotone voice.
“We are the guardians of harmony.
“Yes. We may have been a bit split on Twilight, but that only shows that we do consider all the options and always try to find the best option to achieve harmony.
"We work as one, and while this time, we were unable to come to a unanimous decision, we still stand by each other.
“We are the Elements of Harmony. Just because, in this one case, our actions seem similar to Celestia's doesn't mean we are like her or have lost our way.
"We would never lose our way or go against each other.
“We are bound to serve harmony.” It finished with a confident vow. Before, it quickly but subtly backed away and began avoiding eye contact.
That was a really convincing speech.
But you picked my body.
This is precisely how I would have delivered a speech to someone who had hurt me or had seen right through me but of whom I didn't want them to know that they had succeeded.
The way it had stood as still as possible.
Forced itself to make eye contact with her, trying to give an assuring smile while also trying to seem as sincere as possible, only to come off as insincere as a result.
And how it quickly backed away, breaking eye contact once it had forced the words out. Not to mention the voice itself.
But you are clearly not me.
This would have been the point where I would flee.
Yet, for some reason, it stayed, which meant it was now forced to hear how she had seen right through it.
"Princess Celestia, too, claimed to serve harmony,” Rainbow started.
The filly frowned.
When did things change?
There had been a time she adored the princess as well, wasn’t there?
After all, she was the princess.
Sure. Her parents were kind of indifferent to Celestia, but as a filly, hearing of an actual princess was fascinating.
I can’t believe I looked up to her.
I can’t believe there are ponies that still look up to her.
“I can’t believe Twi ever looked up to her.” The purple filly seemed to overlook what had been done to her so easily.
She regarded you as a tool…
“This is where you are wrong, my little pony. Twilight would be nothing without me. She wouldn't even be alive. Her entire existence centres around the fact that she will become the element of magic one day. Her whole life was engineered to ensure she would become a worthy bearer who would do my bidding.”
She had only told me that because she thought I would never remember it.
Yet, Rainbow did.
How could she do this to her…
Twist her into a mindless drone, ready to do her biding-
“That’s it!” Rainbow shouted as if a light bulb suddenly shined over her head. “You are angry at them because they are twisting your trait!”
It was so obvious in retrospect.
After all, I, too, take so much offence to it, don't I?
However, against her expectations, Loyalty wasn’t happy.
The filly knew the answer after all.
There had been no need to snap.
No need to think she would never be able to see it.
All that had been necessary was a bit more time.
A bit more time to see what was torturing it every single second the realm its bearer was in continued to exist. "They are tearing it through the mud!” it hissed.
A hissing that conveyed so much more hatred than should be possible for something that considered itself a force of harmony.
But at least this time, it wasn’t directed at Rainbow. “They have made a joke out of what I have been entrusted to uphold! One isn’t supposed to blindly follow orders! That isn’t how it is supposed to work!” Yet it was what certain alicorns were working to get every single creature to do.
They really did, didn’t they?
I suppose twisting your bearer into what they did to my future self was the last straw.
“Hey, it’s ok-”
“It’s not ok! Can’t you see what’s going on! They are brainwashing the world into submission, training creatures to mindlessly die on their behalf!
“They dare to call this loyalty!” Loyalty took offence to the well-meant words.
Because it indeed wasn’t ok.
Nothing was ok.
But you…
Didn’t you kind of do the same?
Did it?
If it didn’t, it at least didn’t make an attempt to justify itself. “I didn't want you as my bearer. I didn't think you had what it takes, at least not future you. However, we wanted to use Twilight as our tool, and as such, we had to find ponies who would be able to function with her. I picked you because you met that criteria, but also because I knew who you could have been. Your tremendous potential. A sentimental pick, I suppose. It didn’t really matter. We quickly decided that we were going to discard you anyway as soon as you had fulfilled your purposes.”
I should have expected this. Of course, I am not the rightful bearer of the element of loyalty.
“I am not finished yet.” It quickly squashed the disparaging thoughts. “Since Twilights vision Magic hasn’t stopped annoying me, always talking about how you were continuously upholding my element as well as about how you have what it takes and just needed a small push. How you would grow up without losing yourself.”
Thank you, Magic.
You are the best.
Loyalty smiled.
Magic really was the best, wasn’t it? “I think Magic might be right for once. You both deserve this chance.” Rainbow could see it taking the necklace representing its element off.
With it in its wings, Loyalty approached her.
The filly’s eyes sparkled.
I don’t need it…
That was true.
But she still wanted it.
She wanted to say that she was worthy.
And she couldn’t help herself.
She proudly puffed her chest as she felt the piece of jewellery being placed on her neck.
Golden light surrounded it, giving it back a familiar cutie mark. “Prove Magic, right, ok?”
“Show me that Twilight is different.
“Uphold your elements together.”
Uphold your elements together…
This was a responsibility.
You want me to keep her in line if necessary?
That wasn’t a pleasant thought.
But… I already failed?
“Twilight. I think they were right when they said that this is how you buy the loyalty of the residents of this city.”
I… This is precisely what you-
The filly disappeared.
Loyalty remained, looking at where she had been.
“…
“…
“It doesn’t matter. I forgive you.”
This was no longer only about its element.
Hopefully, the filly would stay strong against the challenges ahead.
***
Everything was set up.
Today she would die.
I will miss them, won't I?
A weird thought.
They don’t deserve this.
You could be so much better than Nightmare.
The acolyte chuckled.
I could.
Because I won’t do to them what you want me to do.
The voice was still there.
But it no longer sounded like her own.
And it desperately wanted to change that.
When did I fall?
The dark magic wasn’t always part of her, was it?
She wasn’t born with it, was she?
I was born here…
That she knew.
Well… I read that in the reports, but let’s just assume she didn’t mess with me that much.
Though, she wouldn’t put it past Nightmare.
My mother as well as my father deserted the Equestrian Army…
Why?
It wasn’t specified.
I… I can’t remember my foalhood…
I can’t remember my parents…
I can’t remember being good…
And to add insult to injury, they had so little paperwork.
She was utterly unable to piece anything more than that together about her life.
And she only felt a deep sadness because of it.
You destroyed my life…
You took so much from me…
I hate you so unbelievably much…
...
Then act on it.
There it was again.
The voice that would never win again.
I don’t want to.
Revenge won’t make me happy.
Living happily and peacefully with my foal will.
Instead of fighting for the past, she wanted to fight for the future.
I will need to buy myself some time.
She would fake her death and then take up a new identity in Equestria.
From there, she already had a plan on how to proceed.
She will hunt me.
Celestia will hunt me as well.
She needed to assume that both knew how she looked in reality.
One knew her since she was born.
The other had at least basic intelligence on her.
But you won’t win.
Without your drones, you are nothing.
Or at least vulnerable.
You will never see it coming.
And this was where she would come into play.
I wish I could have told them the truth.
However, it would have been too predictable.
Nightmare would have seen it coming from a mile away.
But you won't care about her forces.
You won't know about them, Nightmare.
And Celestia won’t know about me.
It was this, hoping Nightmare would honour her word or flee to an unknown land far, far away.
How do I even know you won't hunt me there as well, should you win?
Too many unknown variables.
This was the best choice.
A choice where she would still have some degree of control.
Time for the big event.
She nodded towards the group of soldiers that had accompanied her.
To them, it had just looked as if she had surveyed their target like she had told them. “Proceed,” she instructed them.
And like they had been told, they did, splitting into several small teams, making their way towards it.
I will try not to drag you into this.
The idea was simple.
Tell them they will try their luck with a bigger target. Steal some more weapons and weaken Celestia in preparation for Nightmare's return.
Of course, that is stupid.
For all they knew, attacks like this could cause Celestia to strengthen her forces, setting them back in the end.
But this isn’t what matters here.
This was about an at least somewhat believable story about her death that wouldn't make Nightmare look bad while, more importantly, convincing Celestia that she died, to at least get one side off her back.
Silently she, too, flew over the fort's perimeter, passing two dead guards that had been tasked to patrol this part of it.
It’s all too lax.
Like they are only actors playing their part as soldiers.
Hopefully, Celestia wouldn't rely on them to win against Nightmare.
The acolyte landed inside the fort.
There were no sources of light, leaving only the moon and the stars during this cloudless night sky to illuminate it.
She took a quick look at her disguise.
A simple, completely black pegasus mare with a silver half-moon as well as a single golden star as her cutie mark.
As for armour, she chose to only wear a basic chest plate.
Not really great for protection, yet it wasn’t like she needed armour for that.
She only needed to be easily recognisable as an enemy soldier, and for that, the black and blue chest plate would be invaluable.
Seeing that her disguise was in order, she took a look around.
Everything was as it should be.
Everything was the way it was when she had last scouted this place.
To her right, she could see the barracks as well as a few administration buildings.
In front of her, the training grounds.
And on her left were the supply storages.
On the left was what she needed for her plan.
Silently she let a bit of dark magic flow.
Today…
For the final time…
At least, she hoped it would be the final time.
Because she knew that the more she used it, the more likely she would lose herself again.
While the fort remained quiet, the bat pony teams she had sent out would still be busy securing the perimeter before moving in.
Any second now…
As expected, a siren began howling.
A few seconds later, a flare illuminated the sky.
It’s on.
Hopefully, her timing worked out.
She rushed to the storage facilities.
Behind her, she could hear the first soldiers stumbling out of the barracks.
She stopped.
She turned around and looked at them, concealed by darkness, in which they wouldn’t see her.
The acolyte, however, was able to see them just fine.
You are soldiers.
You are Equestria's defenders.
And yet they weren’t any better than what she had encountered before.
What are you doing!
She felt like waltzing right up there and slapping some sense into them.
Instead of taking positions and securing the fort, trying to check for and fight against the intruders, they just stood in front of the barracks, puzzled on how to proceed, as if they had never expected such a scenario.
Good thing I didn’t rely on you.
A quick letter was consumed by green magic.
Seconds later, familiar teams of bat ponies began striking them down.
It finally managed to get a reaction out of them.
On a starry night, lit by the moon as well as a single red flare, the soldiers began fighting for their life against a force operating in its natural habitat.
A frightening turn of events.
The fact that they were in their home territory failed to give them any advantage whatsoever.
The siren continued howling.
The screams and sounds of battle were louder.
Time for-
There they were.
The ones that had managed to alert the fort once she had messed with the spells interrupting their lines of communication.
Of course, it had only been possible due to her tip.
Quickly she placed some feathers matching her disguise inside a familiar building.
Having done that, another letter was sent out to the team captains.
I hope you will be able to make it out.
The ESS and EBI agents split up, rushing or respectively flying inside the fort, taking different entrances.
A few soldiers accompanied them, making it all in all probably about 50 ponies.
Honestly…
I expected more?
Am I, accompanied by teams of highly trained soldiers and outright attacking one of your bases, not scary enough after all, or is this really all the city of Baltimare can muster?
To be fair, she had only given them enough time to make it just in time, but she still felt that it was a pitiful display for what should have been an almighty force.
Are those normal police ponies in between?
But it wasn’t what mattered.
What mattered was that the ESS had a terrible reputation with them.
Terrible enough to make this believable.
Also, reinforcements would undoubtedly be on the way, and if current intelligence was to be believed, they would consist of a good number of soldiers that were currently stationed in Baltimare instead of this as well as other forts.
Then again…
Not sending anyone might be just as effective.
She could see the first pegasi making their way towards the soldiers that had accompanied her.
As instructed, they were trying to retreat. Yet, the soldiers they had intended to cut down, as well as the armed ponies making their way towards them, made that difficult.
Alright.
Final act.
She darted into the sky, cutting down two EBI agents that had intended to quickly close the distance between themselves and the attackers, completely missing her, hidden in between.
The other pegasi immediately stopped.
Surprise was in their eyes.
And fear.
Good thing I also gave you a description of my disguise.
"She is here!" One screamed, alerting the unicorns as well as earth ponies that were still making their way into the fort.
Yes.
Focus on me.
Allow them to escape.
Shoots echoed.
Oh my…
She began snickering, effortlessly evading them or using a shield to deflect them, causing the bullets to be deflected back to where they had come from, instantly cutting a few more down.
“I didn’t know she allowed you to have those toys ready at your disposal. Since when are normal agents allowed to have them?” she taunted them.
Come on…
A show would be appreciated.
Did they really have nothing more to offer?
Actually… this could be problematic…
It not only needed to be believable for her own side but also for Celestia and her ponies if she wanted to ensure they would no longer look for her.
Well… let's just see what happens…
She let herself fall towards the ground and began racing around the camp, close to the ground, the other ponies in hot pursuit.
Shots still zipped past her, as well as bolts of magic.
Ponies tried to surprise her along the way.
Pegasi tried flying faster than her and taking her out.
She prevailed against them all with simple evasion, a shield or teleportation.
I suppose it is harder to make me sweat than I thought?
A crystal landed in front of her.
Really?
She closed her eyes, internally groaning that they thought this would catch her off guard.
But there was no flash of light.
Instead, an explosion rammed into her shield, slamming her back.
That’s new?
An organised barrage of spells impacted the magic surrounding her.
They had been waiting for this moment.
She lit up her horn, ready to teleport, as to get herself on her hooves again.
Another crystal impacting her shield again made that impossible.
Ok! That’s enough show! I can’t use too much dark magic here!
I would win with it, though.
No! I don’t even want to win!
Despite the pain and confusion, she managed to fire up a teleport towards a familiar building.
Actually… that makes everything easier.
She busted open the doors, running inside, making sure to look as if she was limping as well as weakened along the way, yet not overdoing it.
Please…
Please…
She could see a crystal being thrown inside.
Yes!
And if it wasn’t enough luck, she could feel an anti-teleportation field taking effect.
You are so predictable…
But I won’t complain.
Luck always was on my side, after all.
“Dear Celestia! What have you done! Shields!”
She wouldn’t leave this only to luck, though.
The acolyte fired a spell towards one of the crates.
Not even a second later, a giant explosion filled the night sky.
***
The days she had seen the sun…
The days she had seen the moon…
The days she had been outside…
The days she had touched the beautiful green grass…
They had been rare.
And they had been long gone.
Will we ever win?
The pink alicorn stared at the picture she had been drawing.
It was a small hobby to take her mind off things when she had a bit of downtime.
Or when she just couldn’t continue working through the mountain of paperwork.
I want to win…
I want to leave…
I want to-
“Cadence!”
A familiar alicorn entered the small room.
"Yes, Father!" She quickly shoved the picture under the documents she was supposed to process and jumped up.
Yet, he had seen it regardless.
And even if he hadn’t, he would have still known. After all, this wasn't the first time. "Did you waste your time on these drawings again?"
“No!” Her expression remained iron hard, conforming to the uniform she was forced to wear.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
Make him move on!
She didn’t want to be scolded again.
And she definitely didn’t want to lose her work.
Objectively those weren’t the most impressive drawings. Just a few coloured scribblings on precious paper.
But to her, they meant the world.
Her hopes and dreams brought onto paper.
The one thing she had as a hobby down here and the one thing that enabled her to take her mind off things.
His eyes wandered towards the documents.
It looked like he could see right through them and make out what she wanted to protect.
Make him move on!
“Father, our reports state that the Empress-”
“I am aware. She is heading here." After an eternity, the empress apparently had decided to enter the battlefield.
They are… true?
But she hasn’t fought herself once, ever since this conflict began!
“She wants to negotiate peace and is headed here with all of her alicorn forces as an escort,” he mused.
What! But that’s-
"Obviously, it's a trap. And a stupid one at that. That overconfident hag apparently thinks that her entrance on the battlefield alone will be able to end a century-long conflict." To Cadence, it seemed like a bad joke.
Especially him calling her overconfident when he just shrugged the news off like it was nothing.
“Don't worry, Cady. We have the perfect plan to take her out and end this conflict." But as always, she wouldn't get to hear it.
She would only hear the results.
Or hear what has already been decided if I am lucky.
Today she seemed to not be lucky, though. “I want you to get to your room. You know what to do.
“Don’t leave it until I return. I don’t even care if you make some more silly drawings.”
That was serious.
You really, really don’t want me to leave.
Only now did she notice that he had his ceremonial uniform on.
You can’t do this to me…
“I am worried…”
In a rare turn of events, he embraced her in a hug. “I know, Cady. But we will do this.
“She will be welcomed by a small detachment of our forces as well as an envoy.” He let go of her and began chuckling, causing some of the medals on his uniform to jingle. “Who knows? Maybe the witch did get tired?”
I doubt it.
“But if she didn’t, every single alicorn on our side is ready to jump into action." He moved over to a small map, and his horn lightened up the area where he was expecting the empress to show up. "Our forces are all over the place in small detachments.
“We can encircle her.
“We can surprise her.
“We can send reinforcements if necessary.
“But most importantly, we can deploy our new weapon. Remember? The one I told you about?” She did remember.
It failed to kill her the first time…
Why should it kill her now?
“With this new refined version, we will take her out easily.
“Once we know where she is, we can deploy it and then quickly deal a lethal blow.
"With that, we will have won." Even he knew it wouldn't be that simple.
But it was the biggest chance to end the conflict ever since it began.
"You will go as well?" Candence asked uncertainly.
“I must. Not only will we need everything we have to win, but it will also boost morale.
“Our soldiers expect their leader to be there.” And he would enjoy it when he could show them the remains of the most powerful creature that had ever walked the planet, signalling the beginning of a new era.
She has you all there…
Can’t you see it?
“Who will be left?” She watched as he slowly faced a mirror making sure that his mane, as well as his uniform, looked just perfect.
“Oh… well… some young alicorns will remain in a few of the nearby camps and towns.” He was ready to leave. “Don’t worry. You will still be protected by our allies.”
The poor creatures we drag into our wars.
With his mane and uniform in order, he resorted to checking his weapon before opening the door once more. “Most of the other high ranks took their foals with them, but my precious princess should stay here." He smiled at her.
Yet the words didn’t have the intended effect.
So that if you die, I will take over your legacy.
Though, she doubted she would be allowed. “She has you all-”
He didn’t want to hear any more questions or backtalking. “Now, hush. Get down to your room.
"When you leave, a new world will be waiting for you."
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Dumbledore could have easily cut the enemy power down to almost zero by revealing one major truth about the guy that he was a half blood. The fact that he let Harry get into trouble trying to stop problems when the adults around him should have done their best to help. He could given Harry a better life with magic than he got and everyone expects too much from children. In America the founding fathers didn't have it easy and they were adults with a lot of brains that showed in different ways although if they had half the knowledge we have today Considering maybe the country could have been even better. Although I wish we didn't need laws to get rid of laws. Like we don't have enough laws to fill the biggest library
Twilight is at least trying with rainbow help. The rest of girls haven't tried to do anything. Fluttershy is trying to decide what she feels. Applejack refuses to give the girls a chance and rarity is trying to get to know the girls but they aren't really trying to know her.
I really like the insight we get from Loyalty's point of view in this chapter, who was undoubtedly the villain up to this point, now we finally see some motivation for its actions and once again see that it's not a clearcut black and white kind of affair. And while Magic certainly has a point, it's not like Loyalty's concerns are without merit, I'm interested to see what consequence Magic's actions will cause.
Getting more insight into the inner workings of dark magic was also interesting, the often-used slowly corrupting influence works pretty well. And it's interesting to see the specific interaction for Candy due to Celestia's influence, let's see what her new mental roommate will do to help her.
The little bit of action we got from the acolyte getting out of the cult was not only nice to read, but also a good way to break up all the mental debates that happened, giving us some more development in the actual world.
Finally, the flashback was not only insightful but a good way to remind everyone that there is one more alicorn still alive. Maybe we will see more of her? Maybe she recovered a bit and will try to escape, as Celestia was not diligent enough to secure her probably? Only time will tell.
This needs the drama tag. Because it's all drama all time with everyone involved flipping between more evil than Satan himself and normal at the drop of the hat faster then even a Spanish telenovela
Clearly the best course to finding two fillies who are, at this point not running away from you at all, is to make it a nationwide manhunt under accusations of dark magic and capital punishment. That won't make them want to fuck off even harder.
What's that? Celestia is fine with mind wiping children and it's fine to brutally cripple people if you heal them after? Seems legit.
Also the Equestrian Secret Service is perfectly fine with:
Taking children from parents.
Mind wiping said parents.
Killing said parents when they fuck up a mind wipe and wipe too much. Clearly murder is the best approach.
What's that? Ten year old filly twilight got the relationship she upended her life for? Clearly now is the time to dive headfirst into the deepest abyss of jealousy any psychosis without waiting even a day? Yes, going full yandere over the very idea is the best Also why not just mind-wipe the person you love when she thinks the killing another child because she might be a love interest in a future you already changes is just plain bonkers. That's fine.
Ah and of course Rainbow was so unhappy before the fic started we learn she'd been cutting and contemplating suicide and does so when she is under stress. Because everyone in her life is an asshole, aside from Flutters.
Also that ridiculous heavy petting in the library. Still kid that didn't yet hit puberty btw.
So yes, drama tag. It needs two, possibly three drama tags and a picture of fainting Rarity as it's spirit animal. I admit I only made it 12 chapters in. It's decently written but these people are all crazy and quite evil. I am no longer finding fulfillment in reading this.
Why is the changeling queen the least evil person with more than token screen time in this fic? Well after Fluttershy I guess.
Edit: Actually Dash didn't actually do anything wrong either. A hothead with issues, but she didn't cross any moral event horizon as of chapter 12ish. Or really do anything bad.
Applejack and Rarity and assorted family only had token appearances so far so it's too early to tell.
Haven't seen neither hide or hair of Pinkie. Going by the drama levels she is either kidnapped or resurrecting Sombre in a move that will fix everything. Or her family is a sex cult. I would not be surprised.
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Hi there,
Sorry for my late response. Thank you for your comment, and welcome to FimFiction
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It really takes longer than I thought it would to explore characters. Their motivations, backstories, actions, etc. One more thing one needs to learn, I suppose
There is much more waiting for all of them, and I am happy to have you along for the ride
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I am sad to hear you no longer find fulfilment in reading this, but I appreciate your comment regardless
Regarding the drama tag, it is recommended not to use too many tags. The writing guide recommends at most three. So, I chose the ones seen.
As for the other stuff, that is quite a lot to unravel, but I will at least try to address it.
For one, I can assure you that Pinkie is not resurrecting anypony or part of a sex cult, just like the families of everypony else
I mean, it is a good joke I saw at least once before, but come on. That would have been too obvious
Nah, but seriously. I won't specify it, but she is just like the others (though, of course, a bit different).
Two, the ponyhunt was stupid, but in Celestia's mind, there was no way it would fail. Get Twilight's parents blamed in everypony's eyes and get her. Yes. Not the brightest idea, but in her mind, the quickest way to get her back since everypony would be looking for her. How could one and later two fillies outsmart an entire nation looking for them?
Celestia didn't even know why she ran away. She just wanted her back. Back because she longed for her deep down and also because she was vital for the future of the world as well as in danger if the wrong ponies realised that.
As for her crippling foals, as long as she heals them after, the plan was for Rainbow to never remember that. Celestia was angry because she thought Rainbow was the one who turned Twilight against her and wanted to let off steam, but Twilight intervened. Celestia is different than in the show. After all, this is an alternate universe, and her being different is vital for the story. Else, there wouldn't be a reason for the adventure part of the story.
And because she is different, the ponies under her are as well, including her Secret Service. The leader sets the example for the underlings.
Twilight was changed thanks to the vision. It is hard for a little filly to handle so much "knowledge" at once, and it is influencing her as a result. Her going "yandere" is a result of the memories/feelings, etc., of her future self influencing her.
Rainbows past being different... well, I dunno what to say to that. I thought it would make sense the way I outlined it. It additionally gives her a reason to try to get Twilight to leave with her, which leads them to the changelings, which later play an important role...
Also, her parents aren't "assholes" either. She recognises that. They just failed to recognise her pain and that she genuinely tried to change. That might make them "assholes", but at least she doesn't think of them as such.
Finally, they are developing children. Twilight is younger but has a bit of a head start when it comes to puberty, yet Rainbow really isn't that far behind. They are a bit early, but that means they can navigate the challenges associated with it together. It isn't like a switch has been flipped, but a slow, gradual process and of course, they are ponies. So, I am taking the liberty of changing a few things in said process. There are and will be a few more scenes like this, but it is about their relationship developing. And, of course, the story will still stay within its teen rating.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on what you have brought up. Most of that will also be further outlined in the following chapters. But of course, just because I view these things like that doesn't mean that I am "correct". Or maybe I just failed to outline them in a good way
On that topic, I definitely agree that sometimes things could have been written "easier" on my part or characters made less "flip flop" like. However, it is just hard to correct that now since further chapters are based on those actions. Though, maybe I will still try to go back to older chapters at some point
No matter what, all the lessons/feedback, etc. I am trying to incorporate in my further writing. So, maybe we will see each other once I have finished this story . I still want to try many things in this one, but once I am finished, I do have something planned already, and this time, I will try a different approach that should definitely help with some of the common criticisms brought up
Anyway, lots of rambling here. Thank you for your feedback . I hope I could shed some light on a few things and outline my reasoning/view. As I said, I definetly agree with the comments that say that I made some characters too "flip flop" like, among other things and I am considering that going forward. Also, if you disagree or have anything to add to what I said here, I am happy to hear more of your thoughts
I feel like this story is just a giant mess at this point!
It feels very unfocused and like you are trying to tell 10 Storys at once, and the way you let the readers guess whose POV you are reading now, an act that on average takes 10 lines or even more in some cases, really doesn't help that !
I love the core Idea of this Story and every time we come back to it is really great! but there is so much other stuff going on, that isn't really as enjoyable as the main plot of this story....
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There will be a majority focus on Twilight and Rainbow, as well as the other bearers, again soon with Chapter 29. I suppose that is why you are really here, isn't it?
Out of curiosity, may I ask, if you could decide which subplots were to go and which were to remain, what would you pick?
I have really been enjoying this story, but I agree that the past few chapters have felt very convoluted. I think it is a great idea to bring the focus back to Twilight, Rainbow and the other bearers.
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Thank you so much for your feedback
I am glad to hear you enjoyed it, and I am actively working on more with all of the points raised/opinions expressed in mind
Please Please let the elements reconcile. Please don't send twidash on a other manic depressive episode of self destruction. Please just give them a win. PLEASE
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Personally I'm confused about who summer and dandelion are supposed to be. I know they're gov agents and I get the feeling the orphanage is run by changelings but it doesn't seem all that vital. At least the whole search for Acacia thing who may or may not be Candy. It might help if you made a plot summary blog post or something. I know TwidashForever made one for his TIM series that really helps