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Long ago, in the dead of night, Luster Dawn saw a dark figure in Canterlot Castle's throne room. Longer still before that, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends defeated one of Equestria's greatest enemies in that same room.
Now, Luster Dawn wishes to disprove the existence of ghosts and allay her illogical fears of the castle being haunted, but a lingering presence is about to teach her something far more important.
Entry in the May 2020 Pairing Contest & Third place winner!
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Great story, I really enjoyed the interactions between Luster Dawn and Sombra. I also like how the story avoids the typical 'reform a villain' template. It's really interesting how Sombra found a place for himself in the afterlife, helping others with their problems.
10261351
I'm actually a sucker for the typical 'reform a villain' story, and am actually writing one myself, but it's also fun to do things a bit differently. Very glad to hear I pulled it off, and that you liked it!
That is one heck of a beginning, Mothy!
10261575
Don't worry, it gets less spooky
and so does SombraWow, that took me longer then it should have to realize that Luster’s parents are Starlight and Sunburst.
Great work tho, I am loving this side of Sombra
10261596
It's a pretty common fan theory, so I thought I might as well take a jab at it! Typically I don't go with the idea since I'm too into Sombra/Starlight (as uncanon as they will ever be) but I felt like it worked well here.
And I'm glad to hear! I enjoy writing Sombra
and pretty much any other villain I likein a somewhat softer light.I really liked this and I strongly agree with GalaxyBrain0h0, I’m glad that this was not the usual ‘reform the villain’ story.
Le gasp! You know what this needs?! A SEQUEL!
10261605
I mean, I'm not saying I've got some snippets of Sombra making himself known to Twilight... But I have snippets of Sombra making himself known to Twilight. Also there was a lot that didn't really make it into the fic since I had such a tight deadline, and I'd have loved to get to those.
Does this mean anything? Not necessarily, I'd at least like see how the contest goes before I decide anything.
... Why do you do Reformed Sombra so well? Why? Another great little story, and it only goes to reaffirm my love of Fandom Sombra more than... That Sombra the show left us with... Guh. Still get frazzled over thinking of that atrocity.
10261613
Honestly, I would love to see these little snip-its. As I was reading, I was kinda hoping that her would speak with / interact with Twi.
10261622
I've been writing about villains reforming since 2013, I think I've just grown a knack for it... Also I just really love the concept of characters associated with darkness/fear/death to not be completely evil. That's the sort of stuff I live to write.
And hey, show Sombra's not that bad! He was just... Handled incredibly poorly
by writers who I don't think care about him, I could rant all day about it.But enough about that, thank you for the compliment and for reading! Never enough of reformed Sombra.10261632
Contest rules stated that the fic must focus on the main two characters, though I probably could've added a brief Sombra & Twilight interaction if I had wanted too, but since I was on such a tight schedule I only wrote what I thought most relevant.
But also, maybe someday! The snippets are pretty incomplete right now, and a few of them contradict what this fic has established, so they'd need some work. Also a lot of it is just ghost Sombra harassing Twilight and living his best (after)life.
interesting start
10261613
definitely be interested in that because i dont think twilight ever thought the elements of harmony would kill sombra they never had before and her actually feeling guilty he died specially if she find out be been helping sprites move on would be a interesting dynamic to explore
10261643
Maybe if you have enough snippets, you could make a sequel?
10261990
10261869
I'll certainly try to take a go at it! Even if all I have written is small bits of the story, I could certainly expand it, but first I'll be focusing on my main fic over this one. Twilight & Sombra could certainly have some fun and guilt-trippy interactions.
Also seeing that it already has three thumbs down for some reason makes me want to write more out of spite, because what the heck?10262165
Three thumbs down?!?!
Why?! But, yeah, keep working hard on SoaD(I’m super excited for what happens next, whatever that may be :P) also, I had a question. I’m drawing something that I will post on Friday and I was wondering if I might be able to use Luster and Ghost Sombra?
10262204
Eh, I'm just gonna blame it on spite downvoters, it happens.
And of course! Even if I write them a specific way, neither Sombra or Luster are my characters so you're free to do whatever you'd like with them!
Especially if it may count as fic fanart.I would love to see what it is when you're finished with it too.10262213
Cool, thank you! I promise to post it on Friday
I'm sure that there's some horse racist stuff in the way she phrased this. Also, holy fuck is this absolutely dripping with impressive dialogue and descriptions. This is a story worth savoring, but I also can't resist really being able to dive through it.
You know, with your blog saying that this was inspired by All That Lingers it really surprises me that you haven't read Spare Him His Life because there is a parallel here, and one that will probably amuse you.
I really adore the grouchiness you give Sombra, and his new desire to be a psychopomp. There's a lot of delicious darker implications to this story as well, with there being other deaths in the castle, and those that are stated to be less pleasant.
10263013
I swear there was no horse racism intentionally involved with that bit I was just going for how trauma actually works sometimes
and also I didn't know how to put the encounter into smart sounding words.I'm very glad you like the dialogue there, I was really proud of that, especially since it kinda just... Happened. This first chapter flowed way too easily for being my first attempt at a first person view story. Apparently I need to do more.
He's got a point there~
This chapter made me tear up a bit. I hadn't expected the poor guy to need snuggles so badly and he and Luster had such a comfy dynamic. This balances the dark and light aspects of drama really nicely, and I don't want things to end so soon. I really hope you have more of this storyline to write because it's quite fabulous.
Also, you might want to change the rating to teen (no red tags, just teen) and link the source of your cover art. Currently, there isn't one.
10261604 always write your rare pair. Unless there's also an option to write Lumbra. In that case, always write the goth horses. Or all of them. Both at once. Something.
Excuse me while I add that to my read later list then, maybe take a look at it tonight or tomorrow...
He's an incredibly disgruntled ghost. Also there are a lot of details that didn't get added to this story due to lack of time, but if I'd had more those darker implications would've probably gotten more attention. For example, though none of the spirits are named or do much in the story, a few of them were intended to be characters, and they would explain to Luster how they died and what Celestia did to indirectly cause their deaths.
This is a lot of levels of fucked up. He has to tell children that they're dead. You might want to edit this and be more specific that these spirits were ponies that couldn't be healed and the like, otherwise it makes their placement seem more along the lines of the recently dead and their circumstances much sketchier. I'm glad to have inspired a story this good, and there were many strong feelings to be had in this one. Sombra as a reluctant, my-way, and independently driven guardian of steadfast stubbornness is a wonderfully done idea.
Now, can I please have more?
10263047
The horse racism was in calling him a 'thing' and all that. You should try more first person since this is quite the stellar attempt. Plus, it's fun stuff.
10263065
This is sequel fuel if I've ever heard it. The idea of Luster working on her research project with Sombra helping her and encountering these ghosts is a great way to have an easily fleshed out sequel. Also, this is just bait 10261613 and I must bite it.
10261622
Based comment.
10261869
I see you on a ton of Sombra stories and this is good and you should feel good. Especially because this idea is also good and I would like to see it written. Hopefully, it intrigues Moth too.
10263052
A couple of people have already said they'd like this to be expanded upon, and I do have a few little scenes written, so at this point it's certainly a possibility! Also I just... Really love writing characters hug, it's so good, so I love it when other people like it.
Changed the rating, wasn't sure if it should be T since I never went too into details, but better safe than sorry. Also the art's my own, though a few months old, so I didn't think to source it. I could probably link it to DA since I uploaded it there though.
I thought I'd managed to address that well enough, but I'll take another look at it to do some quick editing before the contest ends... In like, an hour or less I think.
Honestly? You probably will, I could do so much more.
Glad you like this version of Sombra too! He was incredibly fun and interesting to write about.
10263101
Name one story that doesn't have him as a good boy. I'll wait.
10263095
Ah okay that makes much more sense. Was mostly going for the fact she had no idea what he was but y'know what I can go with that too.
Also everyone here is an enabler actually. Especially you. I have too many unused ideas for this story, so there's so much to work with. Guess that's an excuse to do another first person story too, because I am absolutely intrigued to do more.Also I just want to write about the ghosts too.
10263130
Yes, let Ice Star enable you~
The concept for this story is great. The opening hooked me and set up what followed quite naturally. Sombra's personality, while obviously different from the show due to his time as King of the Dead, still comes through in the way he continues to hate Twilight and have disdain for the ideals of Equestria. His pointed criticisms of the monarchy are both colorful and, at times, rather on-point, which makes him strangely more likeable.
Doing this story from Luster's perspective was a good move. Normally, I don't care for first person stories, but this one really works well. My primary complaint is that her emotions did seem a bit confused and I couldn't really get into her head at times, but it didn't stop me from enjoying the tale. Everything here is structured very well and demonstrates a good deal of thoughtfulness toward how to build both the story itself and the relationship between the characters.
And that hug. Right in the feels.
Congratulations on making 3rd Place 🥉 - you earned it!
I'm reading this after seeing it placed, and liking it so far. Luster reads almost like a season one Twilight minus the OCD, which is fitting. Meanwhile, seeing the chapter title, this sprung to mind instantly, though I'm pretty sure it wasn't intentional:
Surprisingly fitting for Sombra, I'd say.
Oh, wait, they actually are all Kirby songs, haha. I just only knew the one by name.
10268363
Happy to hear that despite the issues, it was still enjoyable! I agree that there are some issues, a few of which I probably could have worked on fixing had I had more time, but I'm overall satisfied with what I did. Glad to hear I pulled off the first person writing off pretty well too, because this was actually my first time ever writing something like that!
I took quite a few risks with this story, actually. From writing in a way I never have before, to putting an unfinished comic script into words within a few days, it came out a lot better than I expected. Quite a few chunks of the story where written from scratch too, the original comic idea ended quite differently.
So I might be a bit proud of myself for managing to get 3rd.
10268450
Yep, all the titles are Kirby songs! I was having a hard time deciding what to title chapters, but after listening to Kirby music while editing the final chapter, Sullied Grace came up and I realized 'Wait, this would make a great chapter name' and from there on out I googled the soundtracks from the past few games and went from there. Debatable on whether or not the themes actually fit each chapter, but it was too fun of an idea to ignore.
On that note, Shadow Strike was very nearly a chapter title as well, though I ended up using another song name since it didn't feel like it fit. Would've been nice though, because Dark Meta Knight's another character I've written about before.
I love the start of this tale. Love the concept too.
10261613
I also think a sequel to this would be groovy.
10291100
I'm working on some ideas! Taking a bit to become a coherent story, but it'll get there... Someday.
I think I've got a good chunk of it figured out though.
Just finished reading this now, absolutely wonderful. I love the way you write Luster Dawn despite her not having much personality in the show finale, the way you write "reformed" Sombra as clinging to enmity while warming up, how both characters change their views as the story progresses and are still interesting without needing to change much themselves, and how well the supernatural stuff goes from being chilling to soothing. Sucks that the constraint from the contest cut this story short, because while I like Shadow of a Doubt a smidgen better despite my love for the supernatural, a sequel/spiritual successor (no pun intended) to this story would be stellar.
10314998
I've gotten a lot of requests for a sequel, and considering how much I had to leave out, it's something I've been writing ideas for. I just gotta make all those unused snippets into a coherent storyline now.
Also happy to hear you liked this one as well! It was a fun little story to write, and had a lot of new things for me to try, so it's been nice to see it's so well liked. I've also grown rather attached to this version of Sombra, and maybe even Luster too.
Just got done reading this and I have to say, I absolutely loved this! I can't believe it took me this long to read this! I just love how your portrayal of Sombra. How after everything he has been though he is just tried....and is helping those who is as lost as he is.
Going to read the sequel! Keep up the great work!
11292153
Fair warning that the sequel is still very unfinished compared to this, but thank you! I'm always happy to see people still like this story.