Dragonshyness

by Jordan179

Chapter 5: Up the Cliff

After a while the road climbed, and they were in the mountain's foothills.

Suddenly there echoed through the vale the most terrifying sound Fluttershy had ever heard, worse by far than the roar of a bear or even manticore, worse in its sheer primal savagery even than the more sophisticated madness of Nightmare Moon's laughter. It was a low, basso snarling rumble, suggestive in its undertones of air being forced through complex and immense vocal passages, of the sort which would require a head considerably larger than an entire Pony, indeed larger than most Pony houses. There was a hideous bestial fury in that sound, combined with an even more horrible hint of supernal intelligence.

Everypony stopped in their tracks. Fluttershy gasped in utter terror and hid behind the largest nearby object, which happened to be Applejack's hindquarters.

"Whoa ..." said Rainbow Dash, clearly impressed. "What was that?"

"That," said Twilight Sparkle calmly, as she stopped and pointed, "was what it sounds like when a Dragon snores." There was a hint of friendly good-humor in the last words, that implied that a Dragon was merely yet another routine obstacle, one that the proper application of courage and intellect could easily conquer. Everypony relaxed at that tone.

Well, most of them did.

Fluttershy poked her head back up over the bush of Applejack's luxuriant golden tail. She followed Twilight's gaze upward to the mountain top, and shuddered. "It's so ... so ..." she was having trouble finding the right word for it. "... high," she concluded, logically but a bit obviously.

Rainbow Dash flew overhead, looked down at Fluttershy scornfully.

"Well, it is a mountain," Rainbow said. She gazed up at the peak. "I'm gonna fly up there and check it out!" she declared.

Fear flared higher in Fluttershy's heart. She remembered her previous mental image of a small, bloodstained blue corpse in a dragon's lair.

Rainbow gathered and launched herself upward in a trail of rainbow contrail. This launch was abruptly aborted as a pair of strong orange jaws closed on her tail. "Wah!" she cried.

"Hold on, now," pointed out Applejack, releasing Rainbow's tail.. "Ah think we should all go up together. Safety in numbers an' all."

Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity gave looks of silent assent.

"Oh, all right," said Rainbow Dash, crossing her arms before her and pouting in mid-air. She was clearly a bit miffed that she was not going to immediately get to be the great hero of the quest.

***

Five Ponies started up the mountain, walking directly up a steep slope.

Applejack was in the lead, grasping hold after hold with her sure hooves. Rainbow Dash slowly paced her in the sky, her every bodily line radiating discontent at her inability to simply shoot up to the summit. Following Applejack single file were Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight, who was simultaneously climbing and checking her map.

Watching from the valley below, completely ignored by the others, was Fluttershy She regarded the sloping cliff before her, considering the perils of putting her hooves on that stone, and flinching at the at the prospect. Maybe I can work up the nerve -- she thought. No, not yet -- maybe a bit later ...? She stood there, trembling in fear and despising herself for it.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie were joking about the prospects of gaining treasure from the dragon's hoard. All four mares save for Twilight Sparkle laughed at the thought.

No, that wouldn't be good, thought Fluttershy, a Dragon would hate it if you took any treasure from his hoard. She might have said something to the effect, had she not been down here and they up there.

Twilight said something in annoyance and they fell silent. Then she turned to speak to Fluttershy, and finally noticed that she wasn't beside her.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash shouted down to Fluttershy. "What are you waiting for? An invitation?"

"Ooo!," cried Pinkie Pie in excitement, popping out of sight behind a ledge. "I think I have one! In my bag!". There was a popping sound as one of her party favors exploded. Confetti sprayed everywhere.

Fluttershy looked up the cliff and hid behind a bush. She was quaking in fear. "I-it's so... so... steep" she finally said.

"Well," pointed out Rainbow Dash sarcastically, waving at the mountain face, "it is a cliff. You could just, oh, I don't know, fly up here?"

Fluttershy cringed at the contempt in that beloved voice, saying nothing in reply. There was nothing she could say. She knew she was a coward, and now everypony else knew as well. She wished she could just dwindle away into a point.

"C'mon, Fluttershy," cried Pinkie Pie in encouragement, "you can do it! Flap those wings!" She waved one hoof as if it were a wing, by way of illustration.

"Oh... okay," said Fluttershy, squeezing her eyes and tensing her body to launch into flight. She made an incoherent soft little cry, flapped her wings, and suddenly found herself flying, hovering halfway up to the point the others had attained.

At that moment the Dragon made a second mumbling, grumbling, roaring snore.

Ice stabbed through Fluttershy's heart. She whimpered in terror, her wings folded tight to her sides, and she plummeted down into the bushes.

With her flight field mostly shut down, she felt almost all the impact. She was fortunate to have fallen into the bush -- otherwise she might have broken a leg. As it was, branches poked her in the barrel and belly; bruised her limbs. She staggered out of the foliage, grunting softly in pain. She tried to unfurl her wings again, but the muscles were locked in hysterical paralysis.

More painful than any consequence of the impact was the look of scorn on the face of Rainbow Dash.

"Ugh!" said Twilight Sparkle. "We don't have time for this."

Fluttershy could tell that Twilight was barely able to contain her frustration. She despises me too, now, she thought in despair.

Applejack grabbed Twilight's map.

"What are you doing?" asked Twilight.

"Ah'll need this, if Ah'm going to take her around the mountain another way." Applejack consulted the map, rolled it up and put it in her own travel bag.

"Aughhh," groaned Rainbow Dash in disgust. "Around the mountain? That's gonna take them forever."

Ignoring Rainbow Dash, Applejack made an expert leap, and slid right down the steep slope on all four hooves. She pullled into a perfect side-slide near the bottom, grinned encouragingly at Fluttershy, and hopped off.

The dragon roared again.

Fluttershy gave up trying to unfurl her wings. Instead, she rolled right over on her back, all four legs in the air, and eyes wide open in terror, right before the startled Applejack.

Applejack looked back up the mountain. "Don't worry, Twi," she said affectionately. "We'll be there lickety-split."

***

Applejack had first tried to get Fluttershy to her hooves, to get her to climb the mountain with her under her own power.

This failed to work. When Applejack physically rolled Fluttershy right side up, she stood on her hooves all right -- in a stiff-legged and unnatural posture, eyes still fixed in a thousand-yard-stare, mind racing on the doom that she could scent in the sulfur-laden air, feel in the air all around her, sense in her own bones every time the Dragon roared. Applejack tried to encourage Fluttershy to walk, but her voice came to Fluttershy as if from a great distance or heard through water, far less relevant than the terror coursing through her veins, the frantic pounding of her own heart.

Finally, Applejack simply rolled Fluttershy over her own back, legs hanging down and almost scraping the ground -- Fluttershy was a tall slim mare, while Applejack was by comparison stocky and powerful -- and fastened her there with her lariat. This was not the safest way to climb a mountain, but Applejack had already discovered that if she did not tie Fluttershy to her, Fluttershy would simply slide off.

"Cain't have that happenin' at the edge of a cliff," Applejack reasoned, looping the rope around both their barrels.

Fluttershy was in a daze as all this happened to her. She neither helped nor resisted. Fluttershy could feel Applejack's warm hide against her belly, her long blonde mane whipping across her face in the wind, the clean sweet soap-and-sweat-and-apples scent that was Applejack, sensed the even cleaner lifescent of Applejack's soul.

Applejack was saying something to her as she walked up the winding trail, something that Fluttershy could only make out bits and pieces of through her fog of fear. The tone sounded kindly, as did the few words she could focus upon. "It's okay," she was able to focus on. "No need to fear." And, of course, the repeated endearment, "sugarcube."

She extended her special senses gingerly, expecting to be overwhelmed by the Earth Pony's utter contempt. To her surprise, she all she could detect were concern, gentleness, friendship. Very slightly, Fluttershy tapped that friendship, and the haze of terror around her lifted just a tiny bit.

"See, we're almost a third of the way up there now," Applejack was saying. "Nice wide trail. Plenty of hold for mah hooves. No need to be scared."

"I'm not as scared now," Fluttershy squeaked.

"Oh good, you're comin' out of it," Applejack said brightly. "Good to see yuh."

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said.

"Whut for?" asked Applejack.

"All the trouble I'm causing."

"Trouble?" asked Applejack. "Well, you ain't doin' it on purpose," she pointed out, "and we all need help from time to time. That's whut friends're for."

"You're not scared," said Fluttershy. "You're never scared."

"Don't be silly," said Applejack. "Course'm scared. We all are."

"You don't seem scared," said Fluttershy.

"No point makin' a big show of it," Applejack said. "Look -- when you're goin' into real danger, only an idjit ain't scared. Question is, what do you do about it?"

"Run away?" asked Fluttershy.

"You can," Applejack said. "Ah could too. Ah could run right down off this mountain, any time Ah want to."

"Then why don't you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Ah'd be lettin' mah friends down," Applejack explained. "And mah family. If we run away, and this Dragon stays, he'll pizen all of Sweet Apple Acres in time. All of Ponyville. Maybe the whole plain between Dunnich and Canterlot."

"I know," said Fluttershy sadly. "And drive all my animal friends out of their territory. Many of them will die."

"Course," reflected Applejack, "it's not as if the Sun Princess will let the Dragon just stay up there. If we fail, she'll send other forces. Maybe kick him out herself."

"Wait, you know that?" squeaked Fluttershy.

"Yep," said Applejack. "Matter o'fact, Ah saw the Moon Princess and a squadron o' Night Guards makin' for the hills west of here, not so long ago. Ah reckon this is only part of a bigger invasion, an' our mission's just one of many in kickin' them lizards back home."

"Archosaurs," said Fluttershy quietly.

"What?" asked Applejack.

"They're archosaurs," she repeated. "Like birds, or crocodiles."

"Wow," said Applejack. "Ah did not know that. Ah mean Ah know that birds came from reptiles -- Ah read books, after all -- but Ah did not know that birds, crocodiles and dragons were all related like that. Thank you, Fluttershy."

"For what?" Fluttershy asked.

"Fer teachin' me somethin' new." Applejack turned her head back and smiled at her. Her face was open and friendly, her eyes a beautiful shade of green. "Hey, do you think you're up to walkin' on your own four hooves now?"

Fluttershy considered. The fear had receded for now.

"I suppose I am," Fluttershy said. "I might get scared again."

"It's all right," Applejack said. "Ah'll still be your friend then, too."

Applejack loosened the cords, and the two separated. Applejack stretched and grinned. "That feels better!" she said. "Ah love you, Fluttershy, but two on one pony's hooves ain't the easiest way of climbin' a mountain!"

They went up a bit further, Applejack leading, Fluttershy following in her hoofsteps.

"If you know it's dangerous," Fluttershy said after a time, "and you know that Princess Celestia will handle it even if we fail, why do you want to do it?"

"Cause it matters to Twahlight," Applejack said. "The Princess gave her these orders to see if she could handle the job. Showin' her that she can is very important to Twah -- Ah'm not gonna let mah friend down. And ... and also cause we Apples don't just wait around for somepony to save us from trouble, not when we can do somethin' about it our ownsome. Jest not our way."

"I can understand that," said Fluttershy. "I'm -- we Winds have a similar tradition. Death before dishonor. Seriously."

Applejack nodded. "We Apples ain't as formal about it," she said, "but it amounts tah the same thing."

"And I'm afraid for Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy added quickly.

"Really?" said Applejack. "Ah would think Miss Rainbow Dash can handle herself, more than most." She kept looking ahead up the trail, and Fluttershy could not see her expression.

"She's too brave," Fluttershy explained. "She'll throw herself into a fight without thinking about the odds. What if she tries to do that when we face the ... the .... you know, what's on top of the mountain?" she concluded.

Applejack turned, gave her friend a searching look. "Ah can see where that might be a problem," she acknowledged.

"I want to help," Fluttershy said breathily. "I want to be there for her. But all that happens is that I freeze up again and again and wind up letting her down. And worse -- what if I freeze up and she tries to save me and -- and it costs her everything?" Her eyes were moist now. "If anything happened to Rainbow Dash because I failed her, I could never forgive myself!"

Applejack's expression softened. "Aw, sugarcube, Ah know that she means the world t'you."

"You do?" asked Fluttershy.

"Yep," Applejack said. "She's one'a mah best friends, too, you know. She talks about you sometimes. It's plain as dew on a mornin' field that she thinks the world of you. And anyone seein' you two together, the looks you give each other -- you ain't hidin' nothin', you know."

Fluttershy blushed. But -- for the first time since she had heard those roars -- she was smiling.

"She still thinks the world of you now," Applejack continued. "She was just a little frustrated-like, that you couldn't just fly up with her. She don't always understand how others feel. She don't even understand how she feels, half the time. But she still loves you. Ah can tell that."

"She's always tried to be there for me," Fluttershy said. "Always tries to save me from whatever stupid mess I get into. What if this time the mess is -- that thing up there -- and she bites off more than she can chew?"

"Ah can see why that worries you," agreed Applejack. "But think about this. What if, this time, she needs you to save her from whatever stupid mess she gets into? Don't you want to make sure that you're there fer her, if'n that happens?"

"Then how can I make the right choice?" asked Fluttershy, in almost a despairing wail.

"Ah don't rightly know the answer to that," Applejack admitted. "Ah've made some choices in mah life, an' some were right and some were wrong and some Ah still ain't sure about. Ah can't claim to know it all. But there's one thing Ah do know ..."

"What's that?"

Applejack turned and gazed deeply into Fluttershy's eyes. Fluttershy found herself almost drowning in those clear green pools.

"If'n a friend's goin' into danger, and you're there with her, you might be able to do somethin' to help her when she needs it. If'n you're not there, sure as shootin' ain't nothin' you can do to help her. Do you understand that?"

Fluttershy nodded.

"Good!" said Applejack cheerfully. "Now let's trot right smart up this trail, and see that we don't make Twah wait too long!" She gave Fluttershy a broad grin.

Fluttershy smiled in return, and they trotted up the mountain.

***

It would have been beautiful to have reported that they arrived at the conjunction of the trails energetic and happy, with Fluttershy proudly clip-clopping along under her own power.

Unfortunately, in deference to Applejack's own iron code of ethics, Honesty must trump Beauty here, and in point of fact, when they were three-quarters of the way to the meeting place, the Dragon essayed a truly terrible series of snores. Smoke billowed, the mountain shook, dust and small pebbles rollled down its face, and even Abigail Jacqueline Apple herself felt what she later described as "a mite perturbed" at this ominous display of Dragon-might.

As for Fluttershy, she gave a stifled little shriek. Her pupils shrunk to points, her ears pinned back, and she fainted dead away. Applejack actually had to catch her before she slid off the side of the trail in a fall which could have been fatal and certainly would have been unpleasant in its consequences to the yellow-and-pink pegasus. Afterward, her eyes opened but they were once again wide, terrified and focused on nothing Applejack could perceive. And this time, the ground was too narrow for Applejack to feel entirely safe tossing Fluttershy over her back -- a mistake might be lethal to her Pegasus friend.

So it was that, when Fluttershy again came into view of her friends, she was flat on her back, legs pointed stiffly up at the air, eyes wide open and unseeing, and being dragged backward by her tail by Applejack.

"We ... made it," gasped Applejack, sinking to her own belly in exhaustion. She would clearly need a little rest herself before resuming the ascent.

As Fluttershy's head flopped over to regard her friends, she saw Rainbow Dash, flying upside down, whisper something into Twilight's ear with what looked like a very exasperated expression.

Twilight Sparkle, for her part, merely looked disappointed. Very disappointed.

Fluttershy was unsure just which expression stung her worse.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings oblivion. But, contrary to the Bene Gesserit, that doesn't mean one must not fear. That way lies madness, or at least Rainbow Dash. As Applejack demonstrates, one must acknowledge one's fear without letting it rule. But Fluttershy has been trained by her mother to live in fear, especially in regards to dragons. And then her fear builds on that fear, a metafear that fears how her fright will be seen by those close to her. No wonder she goes catatonic.
And now I've hit verbal satiation on "fear."
In any case, you're continuing to do a great job of seriously portraying the naked terror that the episode played for laughs.

On a different note, I like how this early in the series, Applejack has too much reverence for the princesses to refer to them by name. It's a nice touch.

Looking forward to more.

[Jordan179]

4388741

Watching the original episode in detail, I was struck by several things.

First of all, Fluttershy's not just frightened. I've been frightened. She's terrified, to the point of sometimes losing her capacity for reason and control over her basic bodily functions (such as her own wings). This is overriding even her most fundamental survival instincts -- she could have been killed when her wings first folded up in mid-air as they did. I have literally never been this frightened in my entire life -- my glandular system doesn't permit me to feel that much fear. I've known people who were terrified to that level, though -- good people, whom I love, so I can guess what it's like.

Secondly, Fluttershy comes from a very noble family of a warrior race, and she's utterfly funking out in front of her best friend and possible Love Interest, Rainbow Dash, who comes from the same warrior race. Oh, and every other Pony friend she has in the world, including her second best friend Rarity. This is horribly humiliating for her, meaning that she's suffering complex as well as simple emotional pain. She is afraid that she's lost their respect for ever. This happens before A Robust Solution, so she already despises herself to begin with, and this isn't making it any better.

Thirdly, Twilight Sparkle is very disturbed and frustrated by what's happening here. Watching it again, I realized the extent to which she feels that her whole future is riding on successfully completing this mission. This is the first time since essentially putting her in command at Ponyville that Princess Celestia has tasked her with an important assignment -- the bit with the Ursa just kind of happened accidentally and was over before she could emotionally-react to it. But here she's leading the others in an essentially-military fashion on what amounts to a sortie, and everypony is accepting her leadership -- save for Fluttershy whose cowardice is slowing them all down (and at one point nearly gets them killed). Twilight doesn't know what to do about this -- she needs Fluttershy's talent for the mission, so she can't just send her back down the mountain -- and what's worse, Fluttershy isn't just her subordinate, she's her friend. That intense cling to Applejack after Applejack saves her from the avalanche is about half Twilight's gratitude to Applejack for possibly saving her life, and I think about half her gratitude for Applejack for handling Fluttershy for her.

Fourthly (and Fluttershy is too messed up right now to fully grasp this) while Rainbow Dash is in fact disgusted by observing the extent of Fluttershy's fear, she is also very much pained by witnessing somepony she deeply loves going through this public humiliation. Rainbow Dash doesn't have a clue what to do about this -- she thinks in terms of physical solutions and all the obvious ones are forestalled by social constraints. Plus, Rainbow Dash has to be aware that by being unable to help Fluttershy deal with her fear, she's letting Fluttershy down. Which can't make her any happier about the situation.

Fifthly, not only is Applejack awesomely heroic as usual, she is emotionally a freaking saint, well worthy of her distant ancestor Sweetheart the Healer. She is almost unfailingly kind and understanding and supportive of Fluttershy, even though uncontrollable fear is not something with which she's often personally familiar, and even though Fluttershy -- while her friend -- isn't even one of her best friends.

(If you've ever handled a terrified animal, which Fluttershy essentially is at her worst moments in this story, you may realize another problem for Applejack, especially when she's carrying or pushing Fluttershy. I chose not to get explicit about this in-story, but I had it in the back of my mind).

Finally, Pinkie Pie may be mean to Fluttershy in some later episodes, but here she's being nice and supportive toward her -- in fact, treating her as if she were one of her own younger sisters (Pinkie has two younger sisters in canon) who needed encouragement. Fluttershy fondly remembers that "Hop Skip and a Jump" song -- she references it in a later episode when she faces a similar situation.

And, oh yes -- Applejack is reverent toward Celestia. She's courageous and firm to her as well when she thinks she has to be, though. Remember "Lesson Zero"? That combination of reverence and lack of obsequiousness is one of the reasons why both Celestia and Luna have a very high opinion of her.

[Redric Carrun]

but Applejack had already discovefred that if she did not tie Fluttershy to her, Fluttershy would simply slide off.

*discovered

Well, it's nice to know that Applejack didn't have to drag Fluttershy up the mountain the entire way.

[JAPH]

If'n you're not there, sure as shootin' t'aint nothin' you can do to help her.

“’tain’t” (N.B., usually written with two apostrophes) is a contraction of “it ain’t”, which doesn't make any sense here; I think you want just plain “ain’t”.