I'm a long time science fiction and animation fan who stumbled into My Little Pony fandom and got caught -- I guess I'm a Brony Forever now.
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This story is a sequel to Nightmares Are Tragic
How does Fluttershy feel about being forced to confront her worst nightmare -- a full-grown Dragon? Can she be brave and conquer her fears -- or will she be the coward she knows she is inside, and fail her friends at the worst possible moment?
S1E07 "Dragonshy," from Fluttershy's perspective.
Very early September, YOH 1500. Part of the Flutterarc. Side story to Chapters 3-6 of All the Way Back
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I know the reason behind this ability, but I couldn't help but think of illithid mind blasts when I read this. Fluttershy is best mind flayer.
As for the crowd scene, I don't think identifying all of the ponies in the shot was entirely necessary. On the other hand, I could definitely see Fluttershy cataloguing every pair of eyes that might fall on her and all the reasons she should be shrinking in on herself. Hmm...
In any case, definitely looking forward to more.
I debated with myself about whether or not I should do this. I decided to do so for two main reasons.
First of all, because I myself was curious about the identities of some of those background ponies (some I recognized instantly, others not so much) and once I had done the research, there was a strong temptation to use it. And, let's face it, as much as my brain's been colonized by little technicolor ponies, I'm probably never going to write that park scene from anypony's POV other than Fluttershy's. I'm not fascinated enough by somepony like Twinkleshine or Sassaflash to do any such thing. And it would probably be a matter of "Whee, enjoying a nice sunny day with my friends!" followed by "Oh crap! Twilight Sparkle says we're in trouble!"
The other reason is because I like to imply the existence of a rich, complex world that extends far beyond the little portion of it being highlighted by the plot. Just what Lyra was doing, and why everypony found it so fascinating, is entirely unimportant to the question of whether or not Fluttershy's going to funk out or rise to the challenge posed by the dragon, but it must have been important to herself and her onlookers. Describing, even briefly, all the little things going on in the park demonstrates that the world does not revolve around Fluttershy, even from her own point of view.
A third reason manifested itself as I was writing the story. I noticed that describing one after another group of Ponies -- almost all of them, you notice, sharing the morning in that park with friends -- and then showing how Fluttershy was desperately trying to get their attention, and failing to be noticed by any of them, gives that scene a nightmarish quality. This becomes even more the case when Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie show up, and they ignore Fluttershy as well.
Subtext here. Rainbow Dash is more or less in love with Fluttershy, even if between Rainbow's romantic obliviousness and Fluttershy's fear of her own sexuality they are not lovers in the full physical sense of the term. And Pinkie Pie is in some sense a rival for Rainbow Dash's affections -- though it's not a romantic attraction, Rainbow and Pinkie really enjoy each other's company because they have a very similar sense of humor and have been getting closer to each other lately (this is taking place just one month after "Griffon the Brush-Off"). So, in addition to being unable to attract the attention of her best friend and (as far as she sees things right now) One True Love, in a moment when she really needed to attract her attention, the reason why Fluttershy was unable to do so was because of the presence of a rival.
Fluttershy might have been thinking about this consciously, were it not that she was utterly-overwhelmed by her fear of the spreading black cloud. As it was, though, this was contributing to her feelings of total and complete social rejection.
4377731
She should feed the Brain Moles.
Hmm. Not much to say here. The plot is proceeding as per canon, though we do get some nice background data and a tie-in to one of the few pieces of truly epic pony poetry. Looking forward to more of the frantic activity behind Fluttershy's eyes.
4377866
Ah. I understand. When you explain it in such detail, I have little choice in the matter.
(But in the future, please make sure you reply to my comment in the sense of clicking the appropriate button. The only reason I saw your response was because Crimson Dawn did so.)
4379825
Well yeah -- I'm basically rewriting "Dragonshy" from Fluttershy's POV and it's not an alternate universe. Keeping to Fluttershy's POV does mean that we're going to get scenes cut from the original (like Fluttershy's moment of decision about whether or not to desert, which is essentially Chapter 3: "Decision"); later on, we'll find out just what happened when Applejack carried her up the mountain.
This is sort of what I did in Nightmares Are Tragic, but Fluttershy is a much less observant POV than was Nightmare Moon / Princess Luna -- beyond her Changeling-spawned empathy and her ability to talk to animals, she only has the senses of a normal Pegasus. And she understands much less of what's going on in her world than does an immortal Alicorn. Plus, she's scared out of her wits part of the time, and she's also a bit naive.
Anyway, I hope you like my Fluttershy. I find her adorable, and a good deal both braver and more morally-admirable than she imagines herself to be. She's rather hard on herself, really.
4377866
Pinkie as the rival. Things could get interesting down the road. I wonder how Fluttershy sees that (and how Pinkie see that)? What a crazy predicament where we have one character that would show romantic feelings in unusual ways/and is probably not 100% sure about the feelings, one character that would be too shy to show those feelings properly /also not exactly sure, and one character that does not know what to think and is oblivious to it all. Things are going to get interesting.
It's always awkward when the story updates literally five minutes after you last commented.
In any case, you've done a great job characterizing Fluttershy and portraying both her dilemma and how she resolves it. I'm definitely looking forward to more, especially the climax. With any luck, it may raise her self-esteem. A little. Within a margin of error.
I do like how you are handling FLuttershy in regards to Pinkie. She is seeing her as a rival (and that is clear) but at the same time she keeps telling herself that she would not want Pinkie gone. I will love to see what goes through her mind when Pinkie almost succeeds in getting her across the chasm.
4381791
The irony of this is that Pinkie Pie doesn't see herself as a romantic rival to Fluttershy at all -- not at this point, anyway. Pinkie is (1) straight and (2) still too immature (even though she's 19!) to be seriously romantically interested in anypony. Being straight is actually the default for Ponies in the Shadow Wars verse (even though Fluttershy is bisexual and two others of the Mane Six wind up situationally bisexual), unlike in some fanons where pretty much Everypony Is Bi.
As for immaturity, as Paradise points out at her birth "... my Pink Daughter shall be neotenous even by the standards of your Kind, and she shall see the world with childlike eyes even when she seems a mare full-grown." Pinkie actually doesn't start to display any serious romantic interest in anypony until she is 23 -- which is late even by the standards of the long-lived Earth Ponies.
And the two Ponies toward whom she displays this interest are both Earth Pony stallions -- Big Mac, mostly because of her awareness of the alternate world in which they were married; and Cheese Sandwich, who is her disciple and kindred spirit. Not that Pinkie Pie has anything against non Earth Ponies -- she likes Big Mac because he reminds her of her (step-) father Igneous Rock, and she likes Cheese Sandwich because he reminds her of herself.
My Pinkie Pie, in YOH 1500, is in fact a virgin. Yes, she loves parties -- but her parties aren't orgies, and she spends most of her time at them in public. And she comes from a fairly conservative family.
Anyway, she likes Rainbow Dash very much -- however the interest is purely friendly. Which is how it is reciprocated. Rainbow's a bit bisexual, but her orientation is more towards males than it is toward females. Fluttershy is an exception, because Rainbow Dash loves Fluttershy very deeply.
Ironically, this leads to two separate characters who have a more-than-friendly interest in Rainbow Dash misreading the situation, and becoming jealous of Pinkie Pie -- Gilda, and Fluttershy. Though Gilda reacts in a more extreme and unpleasant way to this than does Futtershy.
To add to the comedy, Rainbow Dash is not entirely sure what emotions she's feeling. Rainbow has only a weak sex drive and is afraid to express her softer emotions, so not only is she virginal, but very much inexperienced even at flirting or discussing romance with anypony else. Not quite as inexperienced as is Twilight Sparkle -- mostly because Rainbow is already in love with Fluttershy -- Rainbow just doesn't fully realize it.
As for Fluttershy, she grasps quite well what Rainbow feels, because she can feel the love directly through her empathy. And feed on it. Fluttershy is however afraid of sex -- specifically, she fears that if she and Rainbow become lovers, she will fail Rainbow in whatever mysterious way she imagines she failed "Nosey," and be rejected by her. She is not willing to risk her very deep friendship with Rainbow Dash for mere physical pleasure, so she doesn't.
She is also aware that Rarity loves her, but in a non-sexual sense. This is because Rarity is very much heterosexual. She can feel that love directly too, and feed on it.
She can feed on milder friendship too, and love from animals, but the best food source for her (or any Changeling) is true love, whether romantic or platonic. That is a rich enough source that she only need tap a small percentage of the life force, far below the level which would cause her friends any harm.
In Changeling terms, Fluttershy is very much love-locked on Rainbow Dash and Rarity. In Pony terms, she simply returns their love.
Very nice touches here, both in Twilight's indirect experience with military matters lending to her commanding position and why Fluttershy was afraid of her own shadow. Fluttershy's head is a very scary place to be. I honestly feel sorry for her having to live there. At least it gets a bit nicer over time...
In any case, looking forward to more. Also:
Developed for television by Lyra Heartstrings.
4384590
I'm glad you like my interpretation of the characters. Regarding Twilight's knowledge of how to command, her brother is Captain Shining Armor and her mentor is Princess Celestia. Re-watching the original episode, I saw that Twilight was assuming a natural tone of command and her friends as naturally following her lead Of course Twilight wants to do a good job -- she's well aware that the reason Celestia has told her to handle this problem, rather than send somepony more experienced, is to test her abilities. And she knows that a lot more is riding on her ability to assume and keep her leadership -- if things become chaotic, her friends could get killed.
Regarding Fluttershy's terrors -- yes. Taking what's shown seriously, Fluttershy is more than a little messed up in the head, and she's terrified of Dragons. And she doesn't want to chicken out in front of her friends, especially not in front of Rainbow Dash, whom she deeply loves. Yet her fears at time overwhelm her.
I couldn't show the brief conversation Rainbow Dash has with Twilight before they set out, because it is explicitly something Fluttershy didn't get to overhear. Rainbow asked Twilight: "Are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony's afraid of her own shadow. She's just going to slow us down."
This was half Rainbow being contemptuous of Fluttershy's cowardice, but remember that Rainbow returns Fluttershy's love, and that Rainbow has a lot of experience with Fluttershy funking out. Rainbow is trying to protect Fluttershy (though in a way which somewhat dismisses Fluttershy's own capabilities). Rainbow is not sure that Fluttershy can handle this situation.
Just as Fluttershy has a nightmare image of a pitifully-small bloodstained blue corpse, Rainbow has a similar image of Fluttershy lying dead in that dragon's lair. And Rainbow would rather risk hurting Fluttershy's feelings than losing her very best friend, somepony toward whom her emotions are so intense that she doesn't even dare examine them completely.
As for My Little Monkeys -- yeah, that's not only an MLP reference but intended as a great compliment to the show. One thing I've noticed about My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is that serious character flaws are not generally resolved in a single dramatic episode -- they are conquered, slowly and usually only partially, through prolonged character growth. With frequent backsliding.
To take Fluttershy's self-despite as an example, the damage inflicted on her -- by the rejection of her mother's husband's family; by her mother's madness; by Ill Wind's traumatic advances and her consquent rejection by her maternal relatives as well; by her own discovery of her true paternity and half-monstrous nature; by Nosey's seduction and abandonment of her -- this is the background to the emotional wreck we meet in the first episode of the series. The Flutterarc is, in a character sense, about how Fluttershy heals and grows, to become first an emotionally-functional mare able to express friendship, and love, and even sexual desire without being ashamed of herself -- and ultimately, to grow into her full stature as a heroine.
But this kind of growth cannot take place overnight. And if it did, it would feel false. And in the canon series itself, it has taken multiple seasons for Fluttershy -- with the help of her caring friends -- to sufficiently heal from her damage and express her own talents.
"Dragonshy" is important because it is the very first episode after Friendship Is Magic itself to test Fluttershy against a real threat. She's terrified at this point -- she doesn't have much confidence in herself or her capabilities. But this is one of the crucial moments for her, because she will come through in the crisis and save her friends -- and begin to win the respect of her oldest and dearest friend, Rainbow Dash.
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings oblivion. But, contrary to the Bene Gesserit, that doesn't mean one must not fear. That way lies madness, or at least Rainbow Dash. As Applejack demonstrates, one must acknowledge one's fear without letting it rule. But Fluttershy has been trained by her mother to live in fear, especially in regards to dragons. And then her fear builds on that fear, a metafear that fears how her fright will be seen by those close to her. No wonder she goes catatonic.
And now I've hit verbal satiation on "fear."
In any case, you're continuing to do a great job of seriously portraying the naked terror that the episode played for laughs.
On a different note, I like how this early in the series, Applejack has too much reverence for the princesses to refer to them by name. It's a nice touch.
Looking forward to more.
4388741
Watching the original episode in detail, I was struck by several things.
First of all, Fluttershy's not just frightened. I've been frightened. She's terrified, to the point of sometimes losing her capacity for reason and control over her basic bodily functions (such as her own wings). This is overriding even her most fundamental survival instincts -- she could have been killed when her wings first folded up in mid-air as they did. I have literally never been this frightened in my entire life -- my glandular system doesn't permit me to feel that much fear. I've known people who were terrified to that level, though -- good people, whom I love, so I can guess what it's like.
Secondly, Fluttershy comes from a very noble family of a warrior race, and she's utterfly funking out in front of her best friend and possible Love Interest, Rainbow Dash, who comes from the same warrior race. Oh, and every other Pony friend she has in the world, including her second best friend Rarity. This is horribly humiliating for her, meaning that she's suffering complex as well as simple emotional pain. She is afraid that she's lost their respect for ever. This happens before A Robust Solution, so she already despises herself to begin with, and this isn't making it any better.
Thirdly, Twilight Sparkle is very disturbed and frustrated by what's happening here. Watching it again, I realized the extent to which she feels that her whole future is riding on successfully completing this mission. This is the first time since essentially putting her in command at Ponyville that Princess Celestia has tasked her with an important assignment -- the bit with the Ursa just kind of happened accidentally and was over before she could emotionally-react to it. But here she's leading the others in an essentially-military fashion on what amounts to a sortie, and everypony is accepting her leadership -- save for Fluttershy whose cowardice is slowing them all down (and at one point nearly gets them killed). Twilight doesn't know what to do about this -- she needs Fluttershy's talent for the mission, so she can't just send her back down the mountain -- and what's worse, Fluttershy isn't just her subordinate, she's her friend. That intense cling to Applejack after Applejack saves her from the avalanche is about half Twilight's gratitude to Applejack for possibly saving her life, and I think about half her gratitude for Applejack for handling Fluttershy for her.
Fourthly (and Fluttershy is too messed up right now to fully grasp this) while Rainbow Dash is in fact disgusted by observing the extent of Fluttershy's fear, she is also very much pained by witnessing somepony she deeply loves going through this public humiliation. Rainbow Dash doesn't have a clue what to do about this -- she thinks in terms of physical solutions and all the obvious ones are forestalled by social constraints. Plus, Rainbow Dash has to be aware that by being unable to help Fluttershy deal with her fear, she's letting Fluttershy down. Which can't make her any happier about the situation.
Fifthly, not only is Applejack awesomely heroic as usual, she is emotionally a freaking saint, well worthy of her distant ancestor Sweetheart the Healer. She is almost unfailingly kind and understanding and supportive of Fluttershy, even though uncontrollable fear is not something with which she's often personally familiar, and even though Fluttershy -- while her friend -- isn't even one of her best friends.
(If you've ever handled a terrified animal, which Fluttershy essentially is at her worst moments in this story, you may realize another problem for Applejack, especially when she's carrying or pushing Fluttershy. I chose not to get explicit about this in-story, but I had it in the back of my mind).
Finally, Pinkie Pie may be mean to Fluttershy in some later episodes, but here she's being nice and supportive toward her -- in fact, treating her as if she were one of her own younger sisters (Pinkie has two younger sisters in canon) who needed encouragement. Fluttershy fondly remembers that "Hop Skip and a Jump" song -- she references it in a later episode when she faces a similar situation.
And, oh yes -- Applejack is reverent toward Celestia. She's courageous and firm to her as well when she thinks she has to be, though. Remember "Lesson Zero"? That combination of reverence and lack of obsequiousness is one of the reasons why both Celestia and Luna have a very high opinion of her.
This tells us just how early it is in Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie's relationship. In time, Fluttershy will learn that Pinkie does six impossible things before breakfast. Some of them to make breakfast.
In any case, the avalanche was a great action scene. The chapter as a whole was just cringe-inducing, in a good way. It almost physically hurts to watch circumstance and Fluttershy's own fear and shame tear her down so thoroughly. But remove everything else, and the core is exposed...
Looking forward to more.
4398822
Plus, this is only the second time that Fluttershy has ever seen Pinkie Pie in a situation in which she (or her friends) were at severe risk of death.
Pinkie is using active precognition (which is much more difficult than passive use of her Pinkie Sense, because the latter is merely an emergency signal system from Paradise) to avoid the boulders herself. She's running into the avalanche because she needs to get to a location from which she can see Twilight in order to use Reality Warping to steer the main bundle of timelines into a track in which (1) Twilight doesn't get crushed by a boulder and (2) nopony else does, either. Warping reality on this great a scale is very difficult -- she burns up her power very rapidly doing this, and then only has fairly limited abilities until she can "recharge."
Protecting Twilight Sparkle is, in general, one of her main objectives. Not just in this scene, but in her life. She does so often in very unobtrusive ways; very few Ponies can even sense Pinkie's power in operation, and fewer would understand what she's doing.
Fluttershy isn't one of them. She can sense, of course, Pinkie's love for Twilight. But then that's not exactly a secret. She has no idea that this has to do with the fact that one of Twilight's earlier incarnations was Minty, or that Minty is the Pony mostly responsible for Pinkie Pie existing.
When I watched the avalanche scene again to write it, I was awestruck at just how Badass the Mane Six are in the original episode. Incidentally, even in my version none of them know that Pinkie's acting as their guardian angel, and that works well because Pinkie's powers are limited -- she can't watch out for all of them simultaneously in a chaotic situation like this.
Applejack definitely gets Best Pony for this scene, in that she has no abilities beyond her own strength, speed and intelligence, and yet she also runs directly into the zone of maximum danger, to save Twilight Sparkle. Twilight acknowledges this in canon -- that little bit where she rubs her cheek against Applejack's head is completely from the original episode, as is Applejack's modest expression at receiving this affection. Applejack is seriously awesome.
It's not entirely obvious from the TV episode exactly when Fluttershy gets all that dirt dumped on her. I figure it had to be early in the scene because we don't see Fluttershy again until she struggles free. I had to switch viewpoints to do the avalanche justice, because that's just too beautiful a scene to cut out.
I if anything probably underplayed Fluttershy's reaction toward the end when Rainbow Dash glares at her. I'm considering rewriting it slightly to make it obvious that Fluttershy's heartbroken by this. On the other hand, there's something to say for numbness here, because considering that this is all coming after accidentally causing the avalanche that nearly crushed all her friends (and exhausted Pinkie's powers, though Fluttershy is unaware of this), nearly dying in that same avalanche and then adding insult to injury by falling on Rarity and Applejack, Fluttershy has pretty much used up much of her ability to feel emotion.
Fluttershy is, essentially, afraid that her friends will never forgive her for not only being a burden on this expedition but almost getting her killed. In particular, she is afraid that Rainbow Dash won't forgive her. There have been times in Fluttershy's life when the knowledge that Rainbow loved her literally turned her back from suicide, so the loss of that love would be devastating.
That paragraph early on had me imagining myself behind a DM screen. "Alright, marching order. Who's where?"
The bit about AJ fitting a sort of maternal ideal had me wondering if she's what a changeling queen is supposed to be. The author's note rather put the lie to that. Besides, that's a different story.
Also, wow, the dragon's kind of a jerk. Of course, if he weren't, he probably wouldn't be here. At least he's not going to eat anypony. Of course, that's probably because he enjoys having his constituent atoms attached to one another...
Fluttershy's naturalist insight on the others' attempts to reason with, charm, kick, and... Pinkie the dragon should be fascinating, assuming she isn't too consumed by self-loathing. On the other hand, if she is, then the story will probably fast-forward to her moment of awesome. In either case, looking forward to more.
4427549
This occurred to me as well when I was writing it. Of course, the march order is important to both action and character development in this story, which is why the original episode was careful to show it in establishing shots. Do you notice that Applejack made sure that she was close to Fluttershy most of the time? I'm not telling the story from Applejack's POV, but I figure she was thinking something along the lines of "Fluttershy's right spooked, I better stick by her and make sure she's all right."
Applejack would make a great Changeling Queen. She's already fairly eusocial, just as a normal Earth Pony. She would certainly make a better Changeling Queen than Chrysalis, were AJ a Changeling. Applejack's behavior in this story -- which is mostly in the original episode -- is very maternal and protective toward Fluttershy.
Fluttershy actually demonstrates some tendencies in that direction, which may or may not have something to do with her being part-Changeling. For instance her assemblage of animals cluster around her rather as a Hive might around their Queen. And she actually does subsist in part off their love.
Watching the original episode, I concluded that the Dragon was mostly playing with them the whole time. At no point, save possibly after Rainbow Dash kicked him in the head, was he attempting to do them serious harm. The reason, obviously, is that he knows he'd attract Celestia's wrath if he started killing Ponies.
I'm glad you like my version.
There's a lot to like in this chapter. The twisted, tragic logic Fluttershy uses to convince herself to go back, the glimpse of Twilight as she was before Ponyville and how much she's already grown since arriving, the glimpse from the truly unique perspective that is Pinkie Pie...
And we end on a transcendent hope spot, as though the clouds parted for probability itself. Well, in the sense of brightening, not in the sense of greater clarity. You know what I meant.
In any case, great job. Eagerly looking forward to more. Especially if you'll be using each character's perspective as she tries to appease the dragon. If nothing else, I want to know what Rarity was thinking. She's good, but she's not that good.
4445442
Fluttershy is torn between love and fear, honor and self-loathing. She loves her friends, most especially Rainbow Dash, but her fear is paralytic to the point that even when she wants to do the right thing she finds it difficult. For all her non-conformity, she in many ways believes in the code of honor of a Pegasus of one of the High Clans -- and despises herself as unworthy of the ancient traditions. What the better side of her wants to do is to stand beside Rainbow Dash -- but her phobias are crippling.
In the end she uses her self-loathing to conquer her fear. She decides that, if she is worthless, then she is also by implication expendable -- so she can stop worrying so much about whether or not she survives. By convincing herself that her own life doesn't matter, she reduces her fear for her own safety to a triviality, and passes through the depths of cowardice to find her courage.
One of the things I find most attractive about Twilight as a heroine is that her reaction to danger is not implausibly fearless -- but it is rational. We frequently see Twilight frightened in the series -- usually when she's startled by something genuinely frightening, such as being teleported to stand before Nightmare Moon, or (in this story) literally bumping into a Dragon so large she'd mistaken him for a geological feature of the cavern. But her fearful reaction is short-lived, and she never lets it overcome her reason.
Twilight is typically calm, cool and calculating in a crisis (which is why she gets the "Nerves of Steel" trope in her Shadow Wars character page. In Nightmares Are Tragic, this is actually one of the signs by which Princess Luna recognizes her as the reincarnation of her lost love Dusk Skyshine -- think of Dusk as a (much) nicer version of a Martin Caidin protagonist, and you've got a good portion of his personality.
It's one of the things for which Luna admires Twilight, and she feels this admiration even when the Nightmare still has her in its grip. But then two things Luna always respected, in any of her incarnations, were courage and intelligence. (This is also why she quickly befriends Fischfootur in All the Way Back -- ironically, the combination of courage and intelligence are also what Luna likes about Dragons, in general -- her problem with most Dragons is that they are also often brutal, which Fischfootur is not).
Twilight is the daughter of two cool intellectual types whose brother is a cool military type, whose adoptive brother is an archosaur and whose mentor is a superintelligent and transcendent Cosmic being in an immortal equine incarnation. Twilight is absolutely brilliant, and is usually thinking several steps ahead of any other Pony; to her many facts are plain about any given situation which are completely unknown to most other observers. She's not exactly in bad physical shape, but her advantages over other Ponies are intellectual and magical, and she outwits most opponents with complicated Batman Gambits and Xanatos Gambits the way that a human can outwit a housecat.
So when Twilight approaches a problem, she tends to see things in a rather cold and calculating manner by ordinary Pony standards. For instance, she has no problem organizing her friends as if they were an elite squad of Guards; she even conceptualizes things based on the military manuals and histories she's read.
She sometimes forgets that she has emotions, until her face gets jammed right up against the reality that these are her friends and their deaths would not be merely a negative outcome or a waste of resources, but seriously heartbreaking for her. She's not used to thinking this way, because most of her life the problems were theoretical (this story takes place only three and a half months after The Return of Luna) and, most of her life, she had no real friends (Moondancer, Twinkleshine and Minuette were mere friendly acquaintances -- Spike was actually closer to them than was Twilight). Now, she had friends -- and is finding out that this means she has more hostages to fortune.
I'm glad that you.like my portrayal of Pinkie Pie. When Pinkie's being serious -- and her thought processes here, including her comment about a possibly "heartwarming" scene in the afterlife, are as close to serious as Pinkie ever gets -- she is a very great thinker but a very alien one. Her primary source of information is her worldline-probability-sense (rather like the one developed by Paul Atreides in Dune) and her primary way of solving problems is setting things up for humorous reality-warping. This involves heavy reliance on intuition and solving problems by massively parallel means.
Organized, rational data collection and analyis, and linear logical-mathematical problem-solving, of the sort at which Twilight Sparkle excels, are almost as alien to Pinkie Pie as is Pinkie Pie's methodology to Twilight's. Pinkie Pie doesn't understand Twilight much better than Twilight understands Pinkie Pie, but it doesn't matter that much to her. She always prefered pink, Minty green -- they loved one another all the same. Not so different in this life, from her point of view.
Fluttershy's return is a great moment, because it opens the possibility for a solution to the problem that does not involve anypony dying. As Pinkie knows explicitly from her worldline-sense, and Twilight knows implicitly by logical analysis.
Twilight does not know that Fluttershy's returned, but she's going to give it her best shot anyway. That's the kind of Pony she is.
Ooooh, another chapter.
The amount of detail in Twilight's section does a fantastic job of demonstrating just how fast she thinks. The amount of real time covered by that text is just over a minute. Of course, time does seem to stretch out when one is face to face with uncertain death...
Also, it's interesting to see that Fluttershy really would be helpful if she'd been able to help with the diplomatic approach. When I first watched the episode, I honestly wasn't sure if her talent would extend to sapient beings.
In any case, looking forward to more, especially since we're getting translation.
*double period
*double space
I suppose for Twilight, dragons are indeed much better to deal with than fires, because you can reason with a dragon. But she needs to realize that not everyone grew up with Spike as a constant companion, and that, to everypony else, dragons are giant, terrifying, fire-breathing lizards with wings and teeth as big as your head.
*I think you want a comma here instead of the semi-colon
*double period
*he was
Oh, Fluttershy, I'm sure Twilight would still trust you if you didn't come along. You know, assuming she survived.
*Twilight
... Fluttershy, I don't quite see how being good at hoof-to-hoof combat would help against a full-grown dragon. I'd rate Rainbow Dash's ability to dodge as far more valuable in such a confrontation.
Well, if you're so sure that they'll win, there's no problem with going along with them, is there?
*it was
Camouflage is hard when you're technicolor. Also, less than useful on a diplomatic mission.
*discovered
Well, it's nice to know that Applejack didn't have to drag Fluttershy up the mountain the entire way.
*missing period
Of course it was a good idea to bring Fluttershy along, Rainbow Dash. How else would Pinkie have gotten to show off her intense tic-tac-toe skills?
*missing quotation mark
*mysterious period
*extraneous period
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And dragons. Because, seriously, dragons.
*sentence just cuts off
Is this dragon scaled up from canon? Because, in the episode, his head was maybe as big as the main room of the library, not the whole tree.
4482726
(*nods*) And Twilight's aware that there are treaties and such, and she's used to dealing diplomatically with arrogant foreigners, just from hanging around Celestia's court and paying attention. Very importantly, she's counting on Fluttershy to handle translation.
She knows they are. It's just that Twilight by her nature is very cool and calculating in a genuinely-dangerous situation. It's potentially-embarrassing social situatons that frighten her.
Twilight is also the Most Faithful Student of a being that could destroy that Dragon fairly easily.
*intelligent
*here to
*snoring, and
*only two periods
So, this chump claims to have been here for decades. And why exactly has the smoke only started showing up now?
(I suppose it might only show up when he goes into a really deep sleep. But then, it was awfully easy to wake him up.)
Also, dude, you can speak Equestrian. Pretending not to is just another jerk move in a long list of jerk moves. You're lucky Fluttershy's the forgiving type and none of the others understand you.
4482943
Fluttershy is terrified and she is rationalizing her actions.
She's more worried about Rainbow Dash than she is about Rarity because she loves Dashie more. She's more worried about Rainbow Dash and Rarity than she is about anypony else because she loves those two more than she does anypony in the world. And she's trying to tell herself "Twilight can handle it" because she wants it to be true.
4483052
To camoflague themselves, the Ponies would have to wear full-body suits. Rarity actually KNOWS how to do camoflague properly -- it's just that it is so against her fundamental nature, so she has to force herself to do it!
4483172
I actually couldn't see how Applejack could drag Fluttershy any great distance that way without causing severe damage to her wings. So I figured that most of the trip up had to have been made in a different posture, and since AJ's good with ropes and kindness (which sounds far, far dirtier than I meant that) ...
Oh, Rarity. Well, we all have less-than-stellar moments.
I dearly want to give Pinkie a hug. I just feel terrible for her right now.
And as for Dash... Well, her heart's in the right place, I know she survives, and she hasn't seen the dragon yet. Still, kicking a dragon is generally never a good idea. Of course, one has to think to consider the quality of an idea, and Dash is currently well beyond calm, rational thought.
Looking forward to more.
4510155
This is pretty much her worst behavior in canon. Yeah, she does dumb things -- such as convincing herself she's in love with stallions she's never even spoken to -- in other episodes, but never again anything this profoundly amoral (planning to steal from someone under cover of admiring them) or stupid (the Dragon could have killed her on the spot, and some Dragons would have done just that). Note that this is a very early episode (7th of the whole series) and Rarity at this point is not as mature as she becomes later on.
Even in canon, what Pinkie Pie does is profoundly brave -- she goes into that cave with no plan other than "I'll be silly, he'll like that," knowing that the Dragon is already angry. We don't see what happens to her in there, probably because it would make the episode very dark if we saw a cute, harmless and absolutely well-intentioned Pinkie getting battered by the Dragon. In the context of my theories about how her powers work, she did this when she had almost no power left, and she nearly got killed or severely injured doing it. As it is, she's been injured to a point that might be significant if it wasn't for my assumption that Paradise can regenerate her.
Her reference about a dark timeline in which she had lost her way and the one bright part of it was Rainbow Dash loving her is to the Winningverse, as perceived by anyone whose name isn't Cloud Kicker. My original version of this was more explicit about this, but then I realized that I was going to tell this story later in Pinkie Sense and Sensibility, in the scene where she gets to appreciate the wondrousness that is Cloud Kicker in the Shadow Wars verse.
One of my serious writing flaws is that I tend to give away too much, too fast, unnecessarily. The original was an example of this, and it would have suddenly derailed the plot for irrelevant exposition at a tense dramatic moment. So I cut it.
In the canon version, the point at which Rainbow Dash loses it is when she sees an obviously-injured Pinkie Pie come out of the cave. This is two episodes after "Griffon the Brush-Off," which means that Rainbow has already accepted Pinkie as one of her best friends. I choose to believe that Rainbow is furious at the abuse of her friend.
Cliffhanger!!
Nice chapter though.
NICE!! I see the dragon going
"First you refuse to listen, then you try to STEAL from me with your false flattery! NOW YOU ATTACK ME!!!" The dragon roared. "YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!!"
I know you're going for Dungeons & Dragons-style dragons; the frightful presence aura was proof enough of that. But I read this sentence, and all I can think is "Fus Ro Dah!"
In any case, a magnificent payoff. I knew it was coming, but that didn't make its arrival any less satisfying. Magnificently done. I look forward to the conclusion.
4520338
Not just D&D style Dragons, but the Tolkienian ones upon which the ones from Dungeons & Dragons were based, and which were also a major source for the ones in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Tolkienian Dragons were greedy, proud, vain and wrathful, all characteristics which FiM Dragons display to varying extents. And Tolkienian Dragons have the explicit ability to induce terror by their mere presence -- this is one reason why a creature such as Glaurung or Smaug is so dangerous, in addition to their size and armor and breath weapons. Even beings armed with weapons capable of harming them are too fear-stricken to use them effectively.
Watching the episode closely it looks very much like a Fear Aura to me. When the Dragon comes forth enraged, everypony simply runs around in blind panic. Even Applejack, who earlier in the same episode demonstrated extreme courage, bolts. Then the five members of the Mane Six minus Fluttershy huddle together in helpless terror -- about the worst thing to do against a foe who has a breath weapon. They're neither thinking clearly nor acting effectively. This is not just the normal fear they might feel from seeing something that big and scary, this is a psychic attack.
Fluttershy's fear comes from a different source: her mother's paranoid tales. I postulate here that her own psychic powers shield her against the psychic component of the Dragonfear, leaving only her normal fear of Dragons -- which is overcome by her fear for the safety of her friends, and her rage at seeing them degraded like this by the Dragon's power.
I'm glad you liked the climax. I'm working on the denouement as I write this reply.
I like your version better, but it makes me kinda sad when a fanfic is better that the actual cannon show. Oh well. Not really your fault.
4523666
Oh good -- you don't think it was too mushy, then.
4524486 Not at all. It was cute, without being too much.
4524668
The irony is that it's Rainbow Dash, who scorns mushiness, who has a completely and unreservedly idealistic and mushy view of Fluttershy.
4524685 There are two sides to everything, including sapient beings.
4524668
Also, it's actually Fluttershy who has the earthier side. And the darker secrets.
4524698 Dun dun dun duuuun.
My epicly failed attempt at spooky music via typing.
4524704
Oh, mind you, Fluttershy's a very sweet, kind Pony. She's just also only half-Pegasus and has awesome mind control powers, among other things.
4524714 I know that. I read Fluttershy is Free already. A long time ago, actually.
4524720
Oh, sorry -- didn't realize that.