Book 1
A Step Beyond the Familiar
In the main hall of the Ponyville Library, the gentle clip-clop of hooves echoed off the walls as Twilight Sparkle paced round the central table in an endless circle. Stopping briefly, she looked up at the clock that hung above the endless bookshelves that formed the walls. But the time she saw did little to calm her down. With a groan, she resumed her pacing once more.
“Okay, what’s the big dilemma this time?”
She did not even look up as Spike descended the carved wooden staircase to join her on the ground floor. “She’s late…” Twilight muttered to nopony in particular. “Why is it she’s only ever late when I know I have a delivery coming?”
“Delivery? Oh, so you’re waiting for Derpy then?” Spike asked, his mind putting two and two together. Twilight nodded as she continued to pace round and round. Spike scratched his neck as he asked, “So what’s this big delivery then?”
Finally Twilight grew tired of endlessly pacing and sat down on a cushion by the table. “I ordered a new shipment of books to replace some old damaged ones I found in the basement. Honestly, you’d think whoever worked here before me had no regard for the welfare of these books!”
“You’re running a library Twilight, not an animals’ home,” Spike said with a grin.
She prepared to deliver a rebuttal, but the look on Spike’s face was enough to break her self-imposed frustration.
“Yeah, you’re right,” she chuckled, “It’s just that some of the stuff I saw downstairs looked so fascinating! Really old books about really strange, arcane subjects! I just had to have some fresh copies delivered!”
As if on cue, there came an enthusiastic knock on the door.
“Ah! Speak of the draconequus!”
With a slight spring in her step, Twilight hurried to the door and yanked it open. There before her stood a familiar grey pegasus.
“Oh thank goodness, it’s the right tree this time!” Derpy Hooves chirped as she leant against a large cardboard box that stood beside her.
“Hey Derpy.” Twilight smiled as she greeted the friendly, if sometimes a bit airheaded, delivery mare. “So, are these those new books I ordered?”
“Sure are, Miss Sparkle. Sorry for the delay. I, er… went in the wrong direction when I was looking for your place and ended up the other end of town. By the way, did you know there’s a tree down that way that looks exactly like this one?”
Rolling her eyes, Twilight stamped off the delivery form and began to levitate the box indoors. “That’s okay, Derpy. And thanks!”
With a tip of her imaginary hat, Derpy flapped off on her next delivery. Twilight pulled the door shut and set the large box on the ground. One burst of magic later, the box was wide open and the books were set in a neat row along the desk.
“I’ll leave you to it while I get started on lunch,” Spike called with a chuckle as he headed through to the kitchen. Twilight needed no second bidding as she eagerly set to skimming through each book one by one, sticking in the paper inserts that labelled it as property of the library.
Once that was done, she looked up to the clock again. “Hmm…looks like I have some free time until the next item on my schedule.” She glanced again at the pile of brand new books, which now sat stacked at the end of the table. A wide grin spread across her face. How could she possibly resist?
The book at the top of the stack floated to her side of the table as she made herself comfortable. The spine creaked slightly as she opened the pages, inhaling the sweet, crisp scent of new books. It had cost her half the library’s monthly budget to order these books, but in her mind, it was worth it.
A few hours later, Spike shouted from the kitchen as he laid the table, “Hey Twilight, come take a break, will ya? Lunch is ready!”
The only response he received was a non-committal “’Kay…” from the hall. Peeping his head round the doorframe, he could see Twilight seated on the floor, surrounded by her new books, along with dozens of other assorted books and scrolls. As her eyes scanned the pages, sometimes switching between pages at breakneck speed, Spike could see her scribbling down notes on extra rolls of parchment.
“Hey Twilight, c’mon!” Spike called again, “I made us some hay fries.”
She tried to respond and wave away the offer but she was assailed by the delicious smell of the crisp, crunchy delicacy, fresh out of the frying pan. It had been a while since she last had any hay fries. Her rumbling stomach concurred.
Reluctantly, she slipped a scrap of parchment into the pages as a makeshift bookmark, and joined Spike at the small table in the kitchen.
For a few moments, the only sound that came from either of them was the crunch of the fries or the occasional little sound of satisfaction. It was Twilight who finally broke the silence.
“Hey Spike?”
“Hmm?”
She sat back from her meal for a moment. “Have you ever heard of something called the Tears of Gaia?”
Spike looked up from his dining, crumbs and flakes of hay falling from his lips. “The what now?”
“It’s just something I noticed in those new books,” Twilight replied as she gazed around at nothing in particular. “It keeps mentioning them, the Frozen Tears of Gaia. But the funny thing is, I can’t find any actual description of what they are, what they do…”
“Well, what do the books say about them?” Spike queried.
“Well, nothing direct.” As she spoke, Twilight’s horn flared up with a magenta glow. Several of the books came floating through the doorway, encased by the same aura. “As best I can discern, whatever these Tears are, they’re incredibly ancient, possibly as old as Princess Celestia. That, and that they’re extremely powerful.”
“Powerful in what way though?”
The unicorn shook her head. “No idea. Here, listen to this. The author is talking about lost artefacts: ‘…And so the Sapphire Statue takes its place among the greatest mysteries of Equestria that have yet to be rediscovered, joining ranks alongside the vanishing army of Luna, the lost sword of Commander Hurricane and possibly most ancient and prized of all, the legendary Frozen Tears of Gaia.’”
She looked up to Spike, who nodded, “Yeah, go on.”
“That’s all there is.” Twilight sighed, passing the book to Spike. “I’ve gone through all these books and found nothing.” Pushing her plate aside, she rested her chin upon the table.
Spike gulped down another mouthful of fries. “Mmm…I dunno Twilight, I’d imagine something as powerful as all that would have tonnes written about it. It just doesn’t add up.”
The pair sat in silence once more, dwelling with their own thoughts on this newfound mystery.
“Hey, maybe it’s like those time spells!” Spike suddenly said. “Remember? They were all kept in that secure wing at the Canterlot Archives.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” Twilight perked up almost instantly. “If those Tears of Gaia are really so powerful, any information about them would probably be top secret and secure! Well then, it’s a good thing I’m the Princess’s personal pupil. I can probably tell them it’s for research and the archivists should understand.”
Spike sniggered, “Yeah, that or the security is still as easy-going as it was last time.”
Twilight could not help but laugh too. She still remembered how the guards had not only not arrested her for sneaking into the Archives, but they actually helped her get in. Being the personal protégée of royalty certainly had its perks.
“So then,” Spike continued, “If none of the books here have anything useful, I guess the Canterlot Archives are your next best bet.”
“That sounds just about right. I can head up there tomorrow morning. I’m mostly free that day… Hey, I should ask the girls, see if they wanna come too! It’s been a while since we all went up to Canterlot together.”
Twilight got up and levitated her empty plate into the sink. “Spike, clear my schedule for tomorrow. I can rearrange things once I get back from Canterlot.”
As Spike dutifully got to work seeking out Twilight’s calendar, the unicorn headed out the door and into town to seek out her friends. Inwardly, she prayed for the sort of luck that would allow some of her friends to be free for a day trip to the royal city.
Twilight’s luck could not have been better.
Not only were all of her friends free to make a trip to Canterlot that day, but several were already there! Applejack had headed up there for a special national market day to sell her family’s wares, and Sweetie Belle had told them that Rarity had been summoned to the city to do a personal commission for Fancypants's wife. Miss Fleur apparently insisted that Rarity stay with them while they did business.
So the next morning came and the four young mares that remained had convened at the train depot. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash waited on the platform as Pinkie Pie and Twilight bought the tickets for the four of them.
“There ya go, Miss. Anything else for the journey?” the stallion behind the shop counter asked as he printed out the tickets.
“Could I have a newspaper too, please?”
“Certainly.” He pointed to a small rack, displaying half a dozen different papers, from broadsheets to tabloids and everything in between. “Which one do ya want? The Ponyville Express, the National Gazette, the Canterlot Tribune…”
“I’ll take an Equestria Daily,” she replied. Paying for her purchases, she tucked the thick newspaper and the tickets into her saddlebag and moved aside to allow Pinkie to purchase her supply of snacks for the journey. Finally, she returned with her dozen sticky buns and four smoothies and the group boarded the train.
As it pulled out of the station, Twilight and her friends took their seats together. Twilight set to scanning the newspaper for anything of interest.
“Anything good in there, Twilight?” Rainbow asked as she read over the violet unicorn’s shoulder.
Twilight shook her head. “Not really. The territory negotiations with the Diamond Dogs are still going nowhere apparently… Sapphire Shores’ latest album got four stars… Ooh, here’s something interesting!”
She laid the newspaper flat so that her friends could read. “Apparently there are emissaries from Cervidas and the Griffon Kingdom in Canterlot. Hmm, doesn’t really say why though…”
“Griffons in Canterlot? Oh my...”
“Oh Fluttershy, don’t worry!” Pinkie said as she patted the yellow pegasus reassuringly on the head. “Not all griffons are as grumpy and mean as Gilda was. Remember Gustav LeGrande?"
The yellow pegasus smiled a bit, “Well, I guess that’s true…”
“Where was the other guy from again?”
Twilight pointed to a photo of the emissaries from the two nations standing alongside Princess Celestia, smiling for the camera. On her left stood a white and grey griffon, decked out in a scarlet military jacket, complete with a velvety red and gold cape. And to Celestia’s right was the emissary from Cervidas. He was a venerable, but graceful-looking stag in a simple pale green tunic and cloak. “The other one is from Cervidas, the deer nation. I’ve read that it’s this huge forested land south of Equestria, but I’ve never heard of any deerfolk coming this far north before.”
“Why not? Are they just shy or somethin’?” Rainbow chuckled.
But Twilight nodded, “Well, yes, in a way actually. From what I know, the deerfolk are rather like the zebra tribes: they just like to keep to themselves and not leave their land too often. So whatever’s going on there, it must be pretty big to make them travel to Equestria.”
As they flipped through the paper more, they found a few more articles of interest, but nothing that warranted much conversation.
“So Twilight, what’s this whole trip about?” Fluttershy asked.
Rainbow Dash joined the discussion. “Yeah, because you’re not really the type to decide to go on a day trip just for fun. Did Princess Celestia wanna see you?”
The unicorn shook her head. “Actually, this is a personal trip. Y’see, yesterday I received some new books to replace some really old ones I found in the library basement. They were filled with some pretty fascinating stuff, but one thing stood out to me. Something called the Tears of Gaia.”
“Ooh, that's a pretty name, Gaia!” Pinkie interrupted, “But why would somepony write about her tears? And who is she anyway?"
Twilight carried on, “Well, that’s just it. None of these books really talk about what the Tears are. All I could figure out from what I read is that they are something extremely powerful in some way, and that they are incredibly old as well. Maybe as old as Princess Celestia herself!”
“Wait, that’d mean these tears, whatever they are, could be at least a thousand years old!” Rainbow Dash added.
“Exactly,” replied Twilight, “Pretty intriguing, wouldn’t you say? So I’m going to try and see if the Canterlot Archives have anything more informative.”
Fluttershy then spoke up. “Well, if these Tears are as old as Princess Celestia, then they might have some connection with her. So don’t you think you should ask her about it?”
“Hmm, maybe,” Twilight replied, gazing out the window. “But with the griffons and deer visiting, I’m betting she’ll be pretty busy. If I haven’t found anything by the time the emissaries leave, I’ll talk to her.”
As the train pulled into the Canterlot depot around noon, the four mares headed out and off in their separate directions. “Alright girls, you go have some fun, see the sights, do what you like. I’ll be over at the Archives, so come and meet me in there around suppertime.”
“Don’t you want some help?” Fluttershy asked, hanging back.
Twilight shuffled on the spot, scuffing the ground with a hoof. “Well, normally I would, but…well, truth is when it comes to studying or research, I typically work better on my own. You understand, right?”
“Of course. See you then.” Fluttershy replied, giving a quick smile before trotting off towards the market district.
Twilight, meanwhile, set off towards the massive spired building that was the Canterlot Archives. The idea of so much knowledge and history all crammed into a single building together, as if waiting for an eager researcher such as herself. It gave her the shivers just thinking about it.
A low creak echoed through the otherwise silent hallway as the doors to the Canterlot Royal Archives swung open. An elderly unicorn stallion at the reception desk looked up to see a familiar silhouette stride through the doorway.
“Well well, Twilight Sparkle. How long has it been since you graced my archives with your presence?” he called with a wrinkled smile.
"Not as long as you think," Twilight murmured under her breath. “Hi, Mr Scrollstacker. How have you been?”
“Eh, been keeping myself busy, I guess. So, what brings you here?”
“Well, I’m doing some research on an ancient artefact, but none of my books have much information on it, so I wondered if you might have something about it. It’s something called the Tears of Gaia…”
“Hah! The Tears of Gaia?!” Scrollstacker scoffed derisively, “I think you’d be better off checking the fantasy section in the foals’ library m’dear.”
She frowned at the old archivist. “Don’t give me that! It really does exist, I know it!”
“Oh please.” Scrollstacker waved his hoof. “The Tears of Gaia are nothing but a plot device from an ancient myth. It’s just an old pony's tale.”
“You mean like Nightmare Moon?”
The archivist stopped dead in his tracks. As he desperately tried to prepare a counter-argument, he saw the look of raw determination on Twilight’s face. “Alright, point taken. Here, follow me. We’ll see if we can’t find something.”
Smiling with satisfaction, Twilight followed Scrollstacker into the Archives. They passed through the high-ceilinged corridor and entered the room labelled 'Pre-Equestrian History'.
“If we have any information to do with these Tears, you’ll probably find it in here. I’d start in the books on alicorn origin theories or on the foundation of Equestria.”
Twilight gazed with wide eyes at the thousands of scrolls, tomes and grimoires that lined the walls. “Right. Thanks…”
Without another word, she wandered awestruck into the thick of the archive room. Scrollstacker smirked as he headed back to the front desk. “Oh, and if you do fall asleep, try to make sure there aren’t any books nearby. Last time you were here, it took me about a week to get the saliva stains out of that copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Smooze.”
Twilight felt her cheeks flush red as the awkward memory sprung up in her mind. “Heh, no problem… Oh, and if anypony comes in asking for me, let them in.”
The archivist nodded one last time and closed the door behind him. Needing no second bidding, Twilight rushed to the nearest shelf and began scanning the titles for anything of some relevance. Surely here, in the greatest collection of ancient artefacts and written word in Equestria, there would be some hint or scrap of information that would provide some leads to the Tears of Gaia.
Six hours later, the young unicorn sat at the central table, hair dishevelled and eyes red with the strain of continuous reading, with about as much useful information as she had entered the Archives with.
“Are you serious? I look through over a hundred different books and scrolls, and I find nothing?!” she mumbled aloud angrily. Venting her frustration, she aimed a half-hearted kick at an empty bookcase. All this resulted in was a throbbing pain in her hoof and an even fouler mood. Then, to add insult to injury, a fresh wave of books and scrolls tumbled down on her from their hiding place atop the bookcase.
As she exhumed herself from the pile of dusty tomes, all the while muttering some rather colourful language, she yanked a thin wad of bound parchments from her mouth. But something caught her eye as she tossed the crudely bound excuse for a book to the far side of the table. It was a small wax seal on the front. A stylised star, with a swirling spiral background. Twilight’s eyes twinkled with wonder. She would recognise that seal anywhere.
“No way... C-could it be…?” she whispered in amazement as she pulled the bound papers closer. Tentatively she peeled back the front cover. Her breath caught in her throat as she read the first lines:
“…Here follows the account of Starswirl the Bearded, on the origins of the Alicorns, the creation of our world, the coming of the Blight, and the forging of the Elements of Harmony. All information is gained from first-hoof interviews with Their Majesties Princesses Luna and Celestia.
"In the beginning, in the time before time, there was the Vita. For an eternity, the Vita was without form, alone in an empty universe. Then, as it gathered together, pressing in upon itself, it came into physical form. And thus Cosmos came to be…”
“Good grief, this place could use a good dusting!” Rarity said with no trace of subtlety as she and her four friends wandered through the corridors of the Archives.
Applejack nudged her none too gently. “Just keep an eye out fer Twi already. She said she’d be in here somewhere.”
“That pony at the main desk said she was in the ‘Pre-Equestrian History’ section. Any idea where that might be?” Rainbow said as she stared around at the thousands of shelves.
“Found her!”
Pinkie’s voice rang out from around the bend. As they came round the corner they saw Twilight sitting at the table of the small room. Pinkie Pie was looming over her, trying to get a peek at what she was reading.
“There you are, sugarcube. Ah tell ya, it’s pretty darn easy to get lost in this place.” Applejack chuckled as they gathered around Twilight. A moment’s awkward silence passed as the ponies waited for their friend to reply, or even acknowledge their presence.
“Um…Twilight? You okay there?” Pinkie ventured.
“I found it.”
“Huh?” The five ponies took a step back as Twilight got up and turned to face them, a victorious smile on her tired face.
“So…you know where the Tears are, then?”
“Well, not really,” Twilight replied. “But I do know where to get started. It was all thanks to these old papers I found entirely by accident!” She held the bound papers in a magical grasp, waving them enthusiastically in front of her friends.
Pinkie Pie beamed, “Awesome! So what are they anyway?”
The purple unicorn practically glowed with pride. “They're from his records. The written notes of Starswirl the Bearded!”
When there was no response to this momentous fact, Twilight hastily cleared her throat and continued, “So anyway, these are actually his own records all about the history of before Equestria was founded. It talks about where the Princesses came from, and the first conflict with Discord and everything!”
Rainbow Dash held up a hoof, “Yeah, that’s cool and all, but what does this have to do with these Tear things?”
So Twilight read to them the passage, detailing the coming of the Others, the discovery of the Blight, the fall of Gaia and her weeping for her destroyed lands, and the gift of her Tears, which were forged into a great jewel, imbued with the magic of the Others.
“…Then the book goes off the subject of the tears mostly, talking about other subjects that Starswirl was interested in. But I have managed to deduce this much from his writings: that the place to start looking is in the Crystal Mountains, up in the north of Equestria.”
She looked expectantly at her friends, but found that each and every one of them was occupied, sitting awestruck by the story she had related.
“Mah gosh…” Applejack muttered, “It’s just pretty humblin’ to hear about all this.”
Rarity nodded. “Indeed… I had always rather wondered exactly where the Princesses came from. And to think, they used to be even more powerful than they are now!”
“It is a bit sad though,” Fluttershy added, “thinking about how they can’t be with their family anymore, after the rest of these Others left.”
“Yeah, it is kinda sad. But hey, the Princesses have a whole country of ponies who love them now. And they got us too! We're like one great big ginormous family!” Pinkie chirped.
This got an appreciative chuckle from the group of friends.
Applejack turned to Twilight. “So Twilight, now that ya know all this, what’s yer next move then?”
Twilight sat back down, sending the books back into their shelves with a wave of her glowing horn. “Well, I know where to start looking…so I guess my next move is to take the first step. I can head out tomorrow morning and reach the Crystal Mountains in a few days.”
“Whoa, whoa! Twilight, has all the dust gone to yer head and made you nutty?!” Applejack cried. “You can’t just go wanderin’ off into Equestria like that!”
“Not alone, at least.”
Every head turned to look at Rainbow Dash in surprise. The pegasus frowned back. “You heard me. You can’t expect us to just let you go off on some random adventure into the unknown without us! We’re your friends, Twilight!”
The others nodded in agreement. “Yeah, what if something happens to you and nopony’s around to help? You could be stuck out there forever!” Pinkie added.
But Twilight was apprehensive. “I’m not sure…It’s bound to be pretty dangerous. I mean, I’m thankful for the offer but…”
“No buts, sugarcube! We ain’t gonna let any friend of ours go gettin’ herself into danger alone.”
“Normally I would be against such an endeavour,” Rarity chimed in, “but the idea of going off to find what could be the most beautiful jewel in the world…ooh, how can I possibly resist!”
Fluttershy nervously spoke up too, “Well, it does sound like it could be…dangerous. B-but if you would all be there with me, I’m sure it would be a nice journey.”
“There ya have it, Twi.” Rainbow turned to Twilight with a confident smile. “If you wanna go on an adventure, we’re coming with you.”
Twilight looked around at the expectant faces of her friends. She wanted to reason that she had no idea what would await them at the Crystal Mountains, and that even she was not entirely certain there would even be anything there. But she could see a fire in each and everypony’s eyes. She remembered back to the conflict with Nightmare Moon. They hadn't let her go on her own into danger then either. Relenting, she gave a smile. “You girls really are the best friends a pony could ask for.”
“We ain’t the Elements of Harmony fer nothin’ Twilight.” Applejack replied with a grin.
The purple unicorn nodded, “That’s true. Alright. We’ll all head out together. C’mon, let’s find a hotel room or something for the night. We can head out tomorrow morning.”
“What about Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked, “Don’t you think we should tell somepony there that we’ll be gone?”
“Good idea Fluttershy,” Twilight nodded. “I’ll write a note to Spike, telling him we’ll be gone about a week. And I’ll make sure to tell him to tell your family, Applejack. Oh, and we’ll have to get somepony to take care of our pets...”
Chatting animatedly about all manner of preparations, the six young ponies headed out from the Archives, ready for a good night’s sleep for the journey that lay ahead.
And ... it's a Quest!
Looks good so far.
I cried a river now I expect you to swim in it!
*Ahem*
Sorry. I am rather enjoying this concept as well as the pacing.
Have a well deserved !
Deserves a lot more views. And likes. And favs.
1174636 Well hopefully I can get this on EqD and get just that. I'm currently editing as per the pre-readers' advice.
1230406 Heheh, thanks. I just got word back from EqD's prereaders. There's still one more batch of grammar editing that needs to be done (and done right, or it'll be permanently rejected), but storywise they seem to really like it and hope to see it published on the site. Things are looking promising!
Looks interesting! I'll have to check this out later.
Hey! Good job on the EqD feature! I hope it brings you more views than it did mine.
Okay, that sounded bitter. I'm not. This is a damn good story!
Actually I wanted to comment on that picture in the title box. It looks amazing! I feel like I can just jump right in there!
Compliments to the artist!
I bet God is an other who went out on his own to create his own world by himself without destractions from any other others. He was one of the more powerful others and spent a full six days writting our world befor exhausting himself in the seventh. He then created the four horsemen of the apockalyps. Why? Because he had actually writen time out into predetermined sequence of events and he knew there eould mostlikly be a time when his third race,made after the flawed elementals, and also after the uncreative angels, humanity. He gave them free will. So much did thys possese that they both surpased his highest hopes and deepest fears. They continued to bring him sadness and joy and as the end neared he felt ever more dread for when his horsemen would be needed. But above all he was filled with love for man had succeded in reaching the unspoken desteny he had wanted for them. They found their own goals without the others needing to actually assign it to them. They had achieved freedom. The horsemen were never needed acept in ocasional clashes with other elementals and special occasions.and whhere other others had found threats they could not unwrite. So the horsemen.
Yeah, for some reason I think this little journey is going to take more then a week there Twi
Cont.
Became a transdemensional qaurtet of world clenserss and abbomination slayers when needed. The other dubed God stayed at the edge of his selfmade realm, guiding when needed and keeping a distant watch over his three sentiant creations. Gods fellows would sometimes try to interact but his reputation for being "distant, strict, and allways filled with a subtle sadness" spread and he was left alone more so then many others.
Edit: sorry for the long post but I get carried away with random wourld ideas and also am typing this from lame phone. Anyway I'll wait and see if I like where this story goes. So far its not bad but I'm not sure if I REALLY like it or not. We'll see.
seems interesting. Shall read and for now i will watch
And so the adventure begins.
I wonder if Pinkie could make a good bard.
DO YOU????
No.
Keep up the good work! Oh and I saw this in EQD, if you're wondering.
Excelent work! Looking forward to more.
1317841 Pinkie as a bard? Funny you should say that...
artifacts, not artefacts.
And so......The journey begins.
1.bp.blogspot.com/_xeOzo0Axgj0/TO3i2aqnHqI/AAAAAAAABnw/znZmWFPCm28/s1600/img-dl_the_journey_begins.jpg
1323162 Cheers for the comment, but was the hugeass picture really necessary? It's a nice pic and all, bit wasn't there a smaller version?
1321246 Actually both are acceptable. But since I'm in England I use British-English spelling, which spells it with an 'e'.
1323588 Picture to big? That's a first. As far as I know there isn't, but, if you would like me to find a smaller version and re-post I will be happy do so.
And thus the adventure begins.
Looking forward to seeing how this little quest turns out.
Hmm...says something about the amount of free time ponies have, doesn't it?
I keep thinking of Dragon Age: Origins with all this mentioning of the Blight. Oh, and Dash should totally find Hurricane's long lost sword - every epic adventure needs a magic/powerful sword! Really solid start so far. I suppose I should be used to it by now - this isn't the first fic I've stumbled across that really deserves more attention than its gotten - but it makes me wonder why so many awesome adventure fics seem to get passed over. Anywho, consider me a fan
"In the main hall of the Ponyville Library, the gentle clip-clop of hooves echoed off the walls as Twilight Sparkle paced round the central table in an endless circle. Stopping briefly, she looked up at the clock that hung above the endless bookshelves that formed the walls. But the time she saw did little to calm her down. With a groan, she resumed her pacing once more."
Using "endless" or really any descriptive word twice in the same general area tends to kill that section for me, but it's just a little thing.
Decent amount of building done here. Pacing's not bad either.
So far, this is awesome.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Tee hee. Equestria Daily!
The Smooze! I like me some old school MLP references.
Through Twilight, Spike, and Derpy, you've very successfully captured the humor of the show. Feels refreshing for some reason. Maybe it's because I've been reading darker fanfictions lately, but that's neither here nor there.
Overall, the main characters we have seen so far have been pretty in character.
Part of me feels like the story should have opened with this chapter and so there would have been more mystery concerning what the Tears of Gaia were. However, since now I see that Twilight then discovers the passage that opened the story, I could go either way on that.
I'm not really sold on Twilight's motivations here. Yes, mysterious artifact, naturally she'll be curious, but she's following the vaguest clues on what she expects to be a dangerous and time-consuming search for something that may or may not still exist. For... what reason, again? I mean, this isn't like the search for the Elements of Harmony, where she fully anticipated that the fate of the world hung in the balance, or the trip to oust the smoking dragon, where she had a royal command.
This is just... "Oh, some shiny magic bauble exists, lets go search the world for it!"
Maybe without the "It's going to be dangerous" bit this would make more sense. More of an, "Oh, I haven't seen Shiny and Cadance for a while! I could go see my BBBFF and the greatest foalsitter in the history of foalsitters, plus I get to do some research! I'm sure the girls would love to come along to the Crystal Empire."
Before: Well, that chapter title sure bothers me. Hope I'm wrong...
After: *sigh* Nope, I was right. Twilight rounds up all five ponies and heads off to the city that she and Spike grew up in, but leaves the most supportive, familiar, and ever-present person in her life behind. It was also pretty inconsiderate of her to propose this right to Spike's face, using the word "all" to describe the group the way she did; the use of that unfortunate pronoun is exactly what made me despise Princess Cadance in issue #11 of the comics. Here's hoping he will pop up and join the gang, but I'm getting that same ol' sick feeling that tells me not to hope too much.
And now, some reviews.
This is going to be interestting for me since, unlike the othe live reads, I havent read this story yet. Heck, I haven't even checked much of the tvtropes page, so everything here is new to me. Any surprises and shocks are going to be real, and these reviews will be written as I come across them.
So this is terriic introduction chapter. The prolouge sets up a great creation myth, sounding like a prolouge in a classic fantasy film with pictures of the scenes happening. It sets up a world that feels antastic, but at the same time familar as this is Equestria. The formation o the tears give them a sene of tragidy and yet a sense of overwhelming power that leaves the reader in awe and desire.
The first chapter felt like a pony movie opening. A legen to start us off with, the gathering of the six, and Twilight's nature shining forth. The only thing that would've really sinched it for me would've been if AJ and Rarity were waiting for them at the station. I also love how the five agreed to go along with Twilight on her adventure. No questions, no second guessing, just pure grade friendship from this little band.
A wonderful start to what I hope will be an awesome adventure.
Like somebody else said already, Twilight's motivations are much too vague here, in combination with with vague information the recieves from ancient letters.
That is basically all the information regarding her motivations, and plans to tackle the search, which you can extract from her dialogs in this chapter.
And to be honest it sounds insufficent, regarding her motivations, or even her impulse strategy to go straight to the Crystal mountains, without even counting in her friends, at first.
It all just doesn't sound like how Twilight would act and react, to being presented with those findings. Surely she is a curios little studend, a student who , according to this chapter, doesn't even ask her mentor if she's allowed to go on a risky journey to persue potentially dangerous magical artifacts mind you, especially considering she is an element of harmony.
Twilight is no Daring Doo though. She doesn't just up and go, looking for 'The One Ring', simply because she read something about it in a book, assuming it may be located 'somewhere' in the Crystal Mountains.
Not to mention all on her own.
Without asking the Princess for agreement, plus perhaps support.
Without gathering a research team, professionals, not just simply dragging her friends with her.
THAT FUCKING RETCON
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well we have a term for that my good sir and that is a plot hole....or common sense take your pick
though the not asking celestia thing was explained with the diplomats