A Borderline Illiterate's Guide to OnionPie · 2:00pm March 7th
OnionPie is the best - so much so that I make a point of following only him. In this blog post, I'll provide a brief guide to Onion's works. However, I developed reading difficulties in 2022 (i.e., that partial joke about being "borderline illiterate"), so I just skimmed his stories, as opposed to putting myself through properly rereading them, to prepare for this. As a result, I won't be able to dive too deep. Sorry. If you're aware of reviews or other Onion-related shit that I've missed here, please let me know. It is all Hell.
Destruction, failure, history, intimacy, memory, misery, obligations, reunion, sisters, tragedy...
"Hoofprints" (2013, 2.8k words):
I've never read Onion's debut - doesn't contain a single member of the Mane Six, so FUCK THAT.
Tears of an Empty Sky (2013, 7.4k words):
Spike is reunited with Twilight in a dead Equestria, centuries after she banished him. TES has a rich atmosphere, although it wasn't until Onion's final two stories, in my opinion, that he landed on rich concepts. Civilisation wiped out by a disease? Hardly novel, and I don't feel like Onion presented it in a novel way either. Nonetheless, you can always rely on him to write moving interactions between characters that love each other violently, as hard as they try not to - TES is no exception. 4th place.
End of the Rainbow (2013, 7.1k words):
Scootaloo attempts suicide, with flashbacks to important moments. Not a fan. Whole thing seems feeble in terms of, again, generic concepts, as well as a neutered version of Onion's characteristic extremity. 5th place.
"Cream and Sugar" (2014, 6.3k words):
During an argument and a deluge, Applejack and Apple Bloom fall down a well. Not much to complain about here, but it's also difficult not to compare this unfavourably to What Is Left - they're both tragedies about sisters on bad terms that are forced together by bad situations. It's fine. 3rd place.
What Is Left (2015, 24.3k words):
A drug addict in severe debt, Sweetie Belle is forced to crawl back to Rarity for money. Rightly featured by the RCL, and the only story I feature in my profile's library. The luxuriously miserable atmosphere. The extreme everything. And the depiction of Rarity. I try, every day, to wear my depression as glamorously as Onion's Rarity (and when I execute my eyeliner designs well, you better believe it's glam as fuck). 1st place.
The Most Beautiful Song (2017, 8.2k words):
Twilight travels to offer peace to the enemy she lost her brother to in war. Part of what makes What Is Left so involving is that the stakes are small - only a handful of characters are significantly impacted by whatever is going on, and that contributes to an intensely intimate read. TMBS, on the other hand, is concerned with the fate of all Equestria, and I don't think the epic feel Onion, to an extent, traded his trademark claustrophobic emotion for was worth it. Still, a highly memorable story with legitimately "holy fuck" moments. 2nd place.
Abandoned seventh story:
Starring Shining Armor and Cadance, inspired by Lovecraft's "The Rats in the Walls."
"Hoofprints" audio reading (Crafty Arts)
"Hoofprints" audio reading (ObabScribbler)
"Hoofprints" review (PresentPerfect)
Tears of an Empty Sky audio reading (Crafty)
Tears of an Empty Sky review (PaulAsaran)
Tears of an Empty Sky review (Perfect)
"Cream and Sugar" audio reading (Crafty)
"Cream and Sugar" audio reading (Scribbler)
"Cream and Sugar" review (Chris)
"Cream and Sugar" review (Ghost Mike)
"Cream and Sugar" review (Perfect)
What Is Left review (CoffeeMinion)
What Is Left review (Loganberry)
What Is Left review (Paul)
What Is Left review (Perfect)
The Most Beautiful Song review (Chris)
The Most Beautiful Song review (Paul)
The Most Beautiful Song review (Perfect)
"Oops" - OnionPie, 30/03/24.
