Flight Log #1

Flight Log #1.1
20:53 PST

Have started flight to Germany. Been sitting here for close to an hour. It took them a while to get the in-flight entertainment up and running, but it seems to be working all right now. I'm watching CHAPPiE, and so far, the best part is that it's set in South Africa, so everyone has a silly accent. Logging off for now. I'll let you know if anything else happens.

Flight Log #1.2
22:15 PST

The POWERS THAT BE in my choir have decreed that I must sleep now. This means that I must turn off my movie, right at the climax. I was actually getting into it, because while it was shitty, it was the best kind of shitty. You know, the kind that's still fun. Anyway, the POWERS THAT BE have also failed to take into account that I cannot sleep on planes. I have never been able to sleep on planes, and on the rare occasions that I do, I never sleep WELL. What this translates to is likely several hours of absolute abject BOREDOM. I mean, they won't even tell me how long I have to "sleep" for! I question their competence, I question their authority, and I question their logic. "GOOD FUCKING NIGHT."

Flight Log #1.2 Supplemental

And now the person in front of me has reclined, leaving me with exactly no room for my legs. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

Flight Log #1.3
23:03 PST

<insert staff name here> IS A FUCKING NO GOOD DAMNED DIRTY LIAR. I asked him "Hey, when does this rest period end?" And he said "I don't know." So then I asked him if he could find out for me, and he said "Sure." However, he still hasn't gotten back to me, 48 minutes later, and yet I can actually see the douchebag. He's just sitting there, watching his movie, quite obviously NOT finding out when the rest period will be over. Well fuck him, and the rest of the POWERS THAT BE. I'm going to try turning on my screen to attract attention, so that I can finally find out what the hell is going on around here---

Oh wait. Never mind. He just told me. Apparently it's going to last for 2 hours and 30 minutes after this point.

Flight Log #1.4
23:23 PST

A mere twenty minutes have passed since I wrote last, and yet they seem to stretch into an eternity. I believe that I may be going mad. The incessant roar of the aeroplane's engines drones on, like a grindstone against my mind. But it grows not sharper; nay, indeed, I feel my mind slowly dulling. My eyelids are as leaden weights, and yet sleep still eludes my grasp. I fear that the sweet melodies I listen to are the sole buffer 'twixt me and madness. And, all the while, the clock ticks on, inexorably marching me towards my inevitable death.

I am so fucking tired.

Flight Log #1.5
00:04 PST

Another 30 minutes have come and gone, and I'm still awake. Still. Fucking. AWAKE. Did I do something horrible to deserve this? I really would like to sleep, but I can't do it. I should be able to sleep. It's past midnight. But those engines. Good LORD, they won't shut up. If I become an engineer, I'm going to find some way to make planes quieter inside. I would make friggin' BANK on that invention, and maybe I'd even be able to travel back in time and make sure that THIS PLANE WAS FITTED WITH THAT TECHNOLOGY SO THAT I COULD MAYBE GET SOME REST.

Flight Log #1.6
02:00 PST

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I actually managed to grab some shuteye on this flight. I think. There's a period of about an hour and a half that is unaccounted for in my memory. So, I either was abducted by aliens and lost time, or I was asleep. Given that I was in this sardine tin of a plane the whole time, with more witnesses than you can shake a stick at, I'm going with option B. Still waiting for the POWERS THAT BE to give the all clear, though. Maybe they are dirty, rotten, snake-in-the-grass liars after all.

Flight Log #1.7
02:50 PST

No update yet from the POWERS THAT BE. I just finished my movie, though, and no one seemed to give a shit. I liked it way more than I was expecting to, although my personal interest in the subject matter likely lends some personal bias to that statement. The ending left a bit to be desired, but the rest of the movie was fairly good. Anyway, there are just over two hours left, so I'm going to watch Ex Machina, another movie that I sort of want to see, but not enough to actually, you know, PAY for it.

Flight Log #1.8
3:13 PST

Well, so far this seems pretty predictable. The AI's inventor is a total douchecanoe, he's going to try and deactivate her, and she's not going to like that. Being a machine, she's going to kick major ass, and everyone else is going to die, especially the inventor, who totally deserves it. Don't get me wrong, it seems like it'll be fun, but I can see where this is going. For example, I've just found out that, when the power cuts out, the whole building locks down. Also, they've been having these power cuts regularly. I've got $10 on it being Ava engineering an escape attempt. And now she's asking if he's single, and you don't need to be a genius programmer to see where this is going.

Flight Log #1.9
03:55 PST

Well, the POWERS THAT BE have finally given the official green light to wake up. By my watch (well, phone), that's twice as long as the POWER THAT IS told me it would be. The moral of the story is that POWERS THAT BE are fucking dicks, and that you can't trust a single thing that comes out of their stinking pieholes.

Flight Log #1.10
04:42 PST

Remember all those comments I made about Ex Machina being predictable and shitty? I take it back. At least somewhat. I really liked it. The ending was creepy and awesome in a way that just GOT to me. I highly recommend it.

Flight Log #1.11
05:46 PST
13:47 UTC

We've landed! Sort of. We're at London Heathrow, waiting to transfer over to a plane bound for Munich. It was a really solid landing, one of the best I've ever seen. Or felt, I guess. Anyway, I've got wifi here, so I'm going to go ahead and upload this. Bye!