That One Blog Where the Author Decides to Rant · 3:31am Sep 1st, 2015
Hark!
Forsooth I hath traveled across yonder Midgard, to see thine sights and hear thy legends, and
Yeah, I'm not going to do that anymore. Hello to all of my followers, and the few who occasionally surf people's accounts. I just wanted to explain my small hiatus. Basically I traveled Europe again. I do that every now and again, thanks to the magic of metro. Except for when I went to Ireland and I borrowed an old car from a friend. Her suspension was pretty crappy, but goddamn did she play good music.
This is seriously the first thing I thought of when I saw the model.
Anyways, sights were seen, food was eaten, and chapter 19 was the first chapter I've written 100% on my phone.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: AUTOCORRECT GENOCIDE
Additionally, it has come to my attention that an entire section of my story would do far better as a side story: A Stranger in a Stranger Land. We have yet to come to the divergence, but I can promise you that the split will be before the end of this Arc, which should be over somewhere between Chapters 23 and 26. There may be another split further on, but I'm not sure. I've also recently come up with a random idea, which is up for grabs for anybody who happens to pass by:
The Ironic Punishments of The Elements of Harmony
Or something like that. I'm sure a few of you may have noticed that in fanfiction, the default setting for the ultimate harmonizer is getting turned to stone. But that was only for Discord, a being of chaos constrained to an immobile statue. Luna was sent to the moon. The idea would be to come up with punishments for random characters, from MLP, history, or anything else. And since I'm sub-par at writing comedy, I suggest someone else take this idea.
Now for my rant. Instead of doing the normal thing and ranting about politics, countries, or those dern hippies, I'm going to angrily type about something far more important:
Cake.
You read correctly. Pony or human, male or female, alive or dead, or any combination thereof, this is a subject we all hold true to ourselves. Which is why I was so angry when I visited my favorite city in Europe, and possibly even the world, as seen below, only to find a great travesty had been done.
An odd cake, it was. Shaped as a triangle, this gift from the gods had been removed from the mortal realm for the most evil reason. This man, this culinary genius who could show you the secrets of the universe and make you taste how it feels to be a god, had hidden the recipe after he had retired. How cruel must one man be to give us the route to heaven, only to guard it jealously from the rest of the world. The cream so soft that you can catch caviar in a hurricane without even bruising its perfect shape. A meringue so perfectly white and fluffly, it was as if a mortal man had woven Tibetan clouds into a cake. Such perfection, robbed from us, stolen from us like the dodo bird or a saint. Prometheus had given us fire, only to steal it back once more.
Truly, this genius has been corrupted by the power of creation. Creation of gods who live and die to bring Elysium to us as they enter our mouths. This fallen angel keeps this secret to himself, not even letting his inheritors glimpse the recipe. Alas, many things are ephemeral, but ideas...ideas can live forever, should we allow them to grow. But this venerable oak has been cut down as a sturdy sapling by its very farmer, for fear that others will steal its seeds. People will live and die, unknowing of the divinity they had missed. It will only be on their deathbeds that they will rasp:
"There was a party in my mouth. The Paraméen was invited, but it did not come."
A lone tear will roll down their cheek, and be the last thing to stain their pillow. Why did he do it? Why did he end it all?! Four generations to create a masterpiece, and it was all for naught.
Damn him.
Now that that's over, I have to ask those of you that are still around to please ask me or my characters questions. I'd like to make an extra with questions by the audience, and the window of opportunity is growing shorter. Just make sure it is clear to whom you are asking the question.
Cheers,
Charon
I am a bit lost regarding this cake aspect, could you elaborate on who it is?
3362362 I believe his name is Francois Chevestrier. I thought he had a different last name, but it seems like he and the bakery share a name.
RIP a slice of heaven.
3362504
Never heard of him, and it seems a shame such a potentially delicious treat is no more, but alas, some just cannot handle it