• Member Since 19th Dec, 2013
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Hap


Uhhh, sarge? I think I'm nekkid. (patreon)

More Blog Posts42

  • 257 weeks
    Real talk from the wife.

    I think we need real talk for a minute about mlp fim. I've been super disappointed in the crystal ponies. Also straight up where are my sparkle ponies. Like the ponies that are basically crystal ponies full of glitter. As a child of the 80s I have certain expectations around my crystal ponies and the current gen has let me down storywise and with merch.

    So this is my life.

    3 comments · 514 views
  • 302 weeks
    Went to work today...

    School doesn't start until the 20th, yet I have to show up to work. Not even any other faculty here yet.

    So, I figured I'd write some horsewords.

    Unfortunately, I spent all day actually working, and now I just feel unproductive.

    :applejackunsure:

    5 comments · 394 views
  • 303 weeks
    Coq au vin (aka, another episode of Hap cooks drunk)

    Those of you who have bad enough judgment to associate with me on discord will probably recall many picture spams of foodstuffs in various states of completion. I post recipes. Some of you have even been brave enough to make them!

    Read More

    7 comments · 412 views
  • 304 weeks
    Going to BronyCon. Who to hang out with?

    Are you going to be at BronyCon?

    I've not planned for this at all. My summer has just been too busy. So, I'm going to let you all do some planning!

    Who's going, and when are we hanging out?

    5 comments · 387 views
  • 307 weeks
    Not asking for help.

    I don't have medical expenses. I have a car that'll get me to work. I'm not in danger of running out of food (potatoes, yes, but that's only because she eats them).

    Yet, I present to you a patreon link.

    'Bert said, "I don't expect anybody to give us money, but if they want to, we should make it possible."

    Read More

    9 comments · 451 views
Nov
20th
2017

There's something magical about driving the back roads at night. · 3:23am Nov 20th, 2017

Out in the sticks, Missouri roads get twisty-curvey on the hills. Like a roller coaster without the rails. One of my favorite things to do is drive those back roads at night, through the thickest woods, miles from the nearest source of light.

It's a pure blackness. Those back roads aren't very wide, and the canopies stretch over to meet in the middle. No moon. No stars.

Just you and eighteen feet of road. Nothing else in the universe. No light. No people. No matter. In this empty universe, you watch trees and asphalt fade into existence, a holy act of creation ex nihilo by the god of gas pedals. And in your rear view mirror is the culmination of the universe, the un-creation, heat death of all things as they fade to red in your tail lights and disappear. Always pursuing creation, just outrunning oblivion.

Oblivion chases you indeed. A single moment of inattention could let your tires slip off the edge of the pavement. There's no shoulder, nothing but trees. Hard, unyielding trees, less than a second in age and destined to cease in another. So you keep your eyes glued to that single yellow line, letting the trees blur past in your peripheral vision. Blue ghosts swim in the darkness, afterimages of the yellow warning signs you ignored, appearing and disappearing as quickly as the signs themselves.

Even if your reflexes are perfect, and your attention never wavers, your own oblivion may be just around the corner; a loose cow, a patch of ice. Or simply an unfortunate motorist, stopped just over the crest of a hill.

She begged me not to leave her, so I slow down. I turn on my high-beams. I go home.

Report Hap · 352 views ·
Comments ( 7 )

Used to use the back roads of where I used to work.

It is quite enjoyable.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Tennessee mountain roads. 750 horsepower, six cylinder turbocharged fury roaring it's defiance into the night. 80,000 pounds of steel, rubber and glass. A simple whim and she roars and lunges forth for me. A moments absence of thought? She'll slaughter all she can. A razors edge at 110, riding a beast from the depths of Tartarus.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

Living on the edge of existence used to be one of my favorite pastimes.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I, meanwhile, can't think of anything more anxiety-inducing. D:

My best night driving experience:
Late winter, maybe February. Ground fog, about the level of the hood of my 78 Chevy C-10. It was a full moon, and the air was the temperature where it burns your nose just right when you inhale. Crystal clear. Stars shimmering overhead, full moon, I ran with my headlights off since I could see better that way. Middle of nowhere in Michigan.

Next morning, there was hoarfrost on every front-facing surface on the truck, glittering like diamonds.

Hap

5017247
That does sound beautiful.

5017492
It really was.

The other neat nighttime driving experience was that there was a mint factory in Kalamazoo, and sometimes on those really clear, really cold winter nights (the one where the snow’s glittering like diamonds and the stars are crystal-clear) the entire east side of town would smell like peppermint.

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