State of the Author, September 2020... · 5:05am Sep 4th, 2020
Well, this is not something I thought I'd have to write, or ever would've needed to write... But here we are. I don't feel like wasting anyone's time so I'll answer the most important question first and foremost before I get into any nitty-gritty details. Apologize in advance as I've written this quite late and off the cuff and my typing hands aren't what they used to be, especially on my new computer,
Have I finally given up writing?
Well yes, but actually no... Allow me to explain.
This past year in particular has been just a roller-coaster of seemingly never-ending ups and downs. Realistically though shit's been rough for about two years; give or take, only in the most recent year has everything pretty much overwhelmed me. So much stuff has gone on, so many things changed that it almost made my head spin as I struggled to just stay sane and survive my own mind some nights.
Things have not been smooth, with trying to find a solid job, having my fiance injured at work, finding and moving to a new place early in the spring, on top of the global pandemic, watching people I thought that I knew show their true selves, it's been a wild fuckin' ride. It feels like everything that could've gone wrong had, it felt like every bad thing that happened was a direct result of own incompetence, it honestly felt like the world hated me and enjoyed watching me feel like garbage. But I got through it. I got a great job, my fiance (while still on workers compensation) is doing her best each and every day, and I eventually found solace in the company of the few friends I had retained when things went south in a server I was a part of. (Though, that is a story for another time that will possibly never be told.)
Throughout this almost 2 year long journey, I have wanted to create and write, I did do a few short things, but nothing to the scale that I really WANTED to do. I've had a dozen or so ideas just waiting to get kicked off the ground, I have short (under 100k words) books I want to write, I've wanted to expand and do so much more than I ever could have. But anytime I tried I just felt defeated. I felt useless and figured that there was no point in even trying anymore. So I almost did just that, I just stopped writing or attempting to write and just tried to enjoy my life for a bit.
And I've loved it, although in the back of my head I've still got ideas and such floating around, I rarely find the time to sit down and write these days, even if I really really wanted to. Work takes up a lot of my time, plus here in just over a weeks time I'm getting married (funny that, ain't it?) But I DO want to return and write. I want to create again, spark the passion that has long since been extinguished many months ago and pour new life into old projects that need to be finished.
I want to finish the Cadence story. Trust me, that series has been kicking my ass for years now.
I want to do more of Searching for the Beat, as it really encapsulated a newfound sense of amazement that I could write something that was not just human inserts tab A into pony slot B.
I've had a Kiva robot pony story I've been sitting on for almost 2 years, there is a story I want to tell of a blind stallion, one about Pinkie Pie helping a stranger find where he belongs, a story about a trucker team with a human and a pony and how they work through their differences while living on the road, a story about a mare who is struggling to find her way though past abusive relationships, and even a story about a teen duo who make it their goal to take down a corrupt business empire that profits off of the "mentally unstable" of Equestira, Drilling the Captain has always had a sequel planned, etc etc.
I have a long list of ideas and more come to me all the time. So I'm not out of ideas. I've just been out of motivation. Drive. And if I'm being honest, a lack of real commitment to actually want to work more and finish stories.
Will it change overnight? Probably not. Do I want to work a little more and more every day? Absolutely. Do I want to actually get back to writing and creating like I used to? You bet. Though I do not know when it will happen. But I know that reaching out is the first step. Getting off the ground from where the horse threw me is the first step. I've got a lot of dust to wipe off before I can re-saddle, but I'll get there. I'll hopefully get there.
When I do come back to writing, I'll focus my attention on Fixing Cadence's Cavern and trying to finish it like I intended. Will it be satisfying? Probably not. But that's what I get for half ass throwing things together and hoping for the best. I got lucky, but now it'll take all the minor skills I have to make something somewhat decent to read. So it'll probably be between that story and To Love a Dragon, as that was the last thing I wrote in a long time that I FELT was actually good. So I've been looking forward to telling more of that story along with wrapping up the Cadence trilogy.
If you have any other questions you'd like to ask me, feel free to post them below and I'll answer as many as I can. Thank you so much to any and all who are still around, still reading, and looking forward to more content being posted.
Until then, see you in the next update!~ 
~Synesisbassist.
Glad to hear you’re okay and motivated, and congrats for getting married soon ❤️
I have no questions, just advice. Take care of you and yours and the writing will come when it comes. Take care. Staf safe. Wash your hands. We love you.
glad to hear that you're doing okay, with all that's going on in the world, and I truly hope things get better for you, and congrats on getting married
I join the above and want to add that we're ALL waiting for you here.
Good luck to you! Take your time and I hope everything works out!
2020 been hell, especially on here with the select few writers I read dropping like flies most stories here legit don't keep my intrest like you and a few others have, hopefully we will see you again and like a friend told me when you hit the bottom it's always the same the only place left to go is up which is always different
See ya space cowboy