10 Years Later · 11:24pm Jun 22nd, 2022
Suddenly!
...anyone still here?
Hi, everybody. I doubt anyone else has even noticed, nor would I expect them to, but ten years ago today, I uploaded a weird little clop story called Tarnished Silver to this site.
It was the start of a series which ran over eight different works, the shortest being a few hundred words and the longest being the length of a novel. I have no idea how this happened. I just wrote a horny thing about two ponies I like having emotionally unhealthy sex, and then it kind of flipped a switch inside me, and I just kept delving into their world, kept exploring who they were and how they had ended up making such bad choices. How could Silver Spoon let others hurt her like that? Why was she so eager to? Why did she want so badly for another pony to destroy her? If someone tried to help her, to save her, would she even want them to?
If I'm honest, and this is as detailed about this as I'm willing to get: I think there were some things I needed to understand about myself, some things I needed to make peace with. And Silver Spoon helped me do that; writing her story, getting to know her, and ultimately discovering that, yes, deep down there was some tiny part of her that still wanted to be saved. All of that helped me to save myself.
Here's the thing: Fanfics get published every day. A thousand other fics were probably uploaded to this site on June 22, 2012. I'm sure many were better written than mine. But still, this series ended up meaning a lot to me. It proved to me that I could be a writer, something I had wanted since I was a kid but never thought I could do. It helped me realize that I can finish a big project if I put my mind to it. Over the course of the two years I spent writing this series, I met some amazing people through the comments and through DM's. I've made some wonderful friends.
And I met someone very special, someone who, I hope, I will get to spend the rest of my life with. No matter what else I accomplish in this life, my proudest achievement will always be that somehow, I was able to write something that impressed her enough that she messaged me. That was nine years ago. We've spent time together nearly every day since.
But this isn't just about me. Because here's the really weird thing: it kept happening. I haven't published a new story since 2014, but I check back here every now and then and there's almost always notifications on these stories. Not a lot, I'm talking one or two at a time, but people are still finding these things, reading them, perhaps even enjoying them. After all these years. I have no idea how people keep finding it. It seems impossible to me, but they do. But I'm incredibly happy and humbled whenever I get a new comment (even a bad one!) or a favorite. The fact that this series is still being read astounds me. I'm very grateful.
And once in a while I'll get messages from people saying they're re-reading it, or that even they re-read it regularly, and that blows me away. There are thousands and thousands of fics here, and you choose to read mine more than once? I don't know what I did, I really don't. But I'm very glad you liked it that much.
Most important, though, are the small handful of times I've gotten messages from people saying that the story helped them somehow. Helped them overcome something in their own lives. Brought them some kind of happiness when they needed it. It just leaves me speechless. It's just a fanfic about ponies having sex, and then a lot of emotions happen. But it seems to have meant a lot to some people. I can't express how happy it makes me that something I made up has made a positive difference in the lives of a few people I've never even met.
I hope this doesn't come off as bragging. The fact is, every fanfic on this site will turn ten years old eventually (also, one day the sun will explode.) But for me, and apparently for a few other people, this particular story is special. I still have no idea how. But I feel blessed that this has happened.
So I just wanted to emerge from obscurity for a moment to say how grateful I am. None of this would have happened, none of it would have mattered, if it hadn't been for everyone who read this series over the years. If you took the time to read it, no matter the reason (just wanting to read porn is a completely valid reason) or if you left a comment, if you recommended it to someone else, even if all you did was read one chapter: Thank you.
I still am unsure as to how good this story actually is. But from all the interactions I've had over the years, I have no doubt that I have some of the most amazing readers I could have hoped for.
Ten years ago I wrote a silly horny pony story and somehow it changed my life.
I just don't know what went right.
(Yeah...it's a mystery.)
Your series is amazing! Do you think you'll write anymore stories on here?
Glad to see you around. Tarnished silver was never to say a turn on for me, rather it actually told me the dark side of what clop can be.
I honestly will say the series helped pushed my Four Vilianess vs Dusk Shine series a bit. I was afraid of the darker elements that i wanted to put in but when i saw the reviews of your stories i pushed on.
While the series had died four me a bit, i know that i can't leave my stories unfinished and would be devastated if something happened ro stop them.
I appreciate the work you done and wish you the best with your life for many years to come.
Maybe you can write other stories elsewhere. I do so i am not tied to a single fanfiction
Ey, nice to see you back fellow Silver Spoon writer.
Hey there,
It's good to see you back after all this time and Congrats on finding someone special. I am one of those that comes back every year or so and re-reads this whole series because its just that good. I started reading this for the clop, but that quickly changed after the first chapter, it wasn't my normal type of story, but I kept coming back. After i caught up to where the story was currently i waited eagerly for the next chapter. I left the series heartbroken and happy, an odd combination to be sure. I always hope for more, i love your work and would love to read more of it.
Thanks for everything.
Silver Whisp
My friend, I absolutely loved the series. I've been meaning to reread them for a bit. But I absolutely adore the exploration into how a bad dominant can be, it's helped me realize what to avoid in my interactions. And then of course the ending with a good and proper dom... well, not to go too far in detail, but it showed me how things should be. This series holds a special place in my heart for getting that fact across so convincingly.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever life might bring your way. Just know, this series has touched people, and you should be very proud of that.
Similarly to you going in to the story to write some horny words, I went in to read some... And similarly I got sucked in to the story and characters as well. I'm one of those who has read the series more than once, and after the first time diving in I came back not for the horny words (not exclusively at least...) but for the fascinating character development and story telling you did.
You really gave your characters a wonderful, terrifying arc and development. The depravity of it all holds a strange allure to it that I still don't fully understand but I certainly enjoyed it and I am very grateful you shared their stories with us.
It's great to hear you seem to be doing quite well, and I certainly hope that continues on. It may be ten years later but your story is unforgettable to many, and I don't doubt for a moment that someone will be reading it another ten years from now as well... Honestly, probably me.
Oh hey, I remember when this story was first posted, still one of my absolute favorites. From time to time I'll still use it as a measurement against other stories as a way of judging just how emotionally engaged I am with them and their characters. Has it really been ten years? Bleh.
Your Tarnished Silver stories were some of the first I read after joining the site. The way you depicted the characters simultaneously loathsome and sympathetic made me want to keep going, and before I realized it, I read through half the story. Each time I've re-read your stories, I find some I never noticed before.
Tarnished silver… that’s a title I haven’t heard in a long time.
But really, this series was really something. Was one of the first stories I read which truly drowns itself in disparate but has an almost unwavering bit of hope, In the final fic especially.
They are amazing and very will written, would love to read some more stuff by you if the time came. Glad to hear your doing well.
Congratulations
Coming back to my favorite of your works 10 years later, (Rarity's Garden) it holds up remarkably well. I have read a lot more and a lot deeper since then and I am still stunned at the sense of poetry that your prose seems to have. I can't quite place my finger on it. I think there is a brevity and evocative word choice that is almost unique to your writing. It is something I don't see when I compare your work to similar short stories of greater authors. (I am thinking of Flannery O'Conner's 'The River'.)
Do you have any advice on how you manage to write the way you do? Maybe some rituals of revision? You have long been my favorite fimfiction author. Even though I have not read anything on this site in nearly 7 years, I still come back to read Rarity's Garden from time to time.
Whatever you decide to do next I can only hope for the best and I would love to have an actual dialogue with you one day.
Hey
It's a pretty good story
Ahh, I need to check my notifications more often, Sorry I am so late to reply to this.
Loved your story Ham! Glad your doing well and still around. I know at least a few of your "people finding and reading this story" are from me, I have consistently recommended this story over the years to people that I thought would enjoy the subject.
Thank you for the experience, this is one of my favorite fics of this fandom.
Please stay in touch, I hope you decide to write again in the future, and please post here and let us know if you do!.
Glad to see you after so many years, and glad you're doing well!
To be honest, when I first came across Tarnished Silver, I thought “meh, another sadomasochistic clopfic”, but when I started reading, I didn't notice how this story amazed me, how I finished Twisted in one breath and I just needed to know what it will all end, and the end didn't leave me disappointed, as if I lived this story of love, pain and healing with a bittersweet ending in reality.
I read many different stories, but none of them gave me such a strong emotional response as this story. Truly amazing work, Ham.
I am only starting to read a little of it but I can already tell that it's going to be amazingly heartbreaking and cruel while still keeps me reading all the same.
It's incredible that you somehow made something as taboo as foalcon, rape, and abuse and all that but still somehow create an astounding masterpiece that people could find good things from. All those audience in those stories and this blog post even after ten years (and one of them even become your very special someone? Congratulations!) is clear proof that it is something even more special than some stories in life. （Which is why I think it deserves a spot in a group in Fimfiction called high quality mature fiction. I can't link it here since it is NSFW, but you could search for it and your story deserves to be there）(also I remember someone who made a foalcon story an epic one actually got banned for pedophilia porn related stuff. It's amazing that you are still here with us.)
And it was created back in 2012 and finished in 2013. Was it really that early? I was not even ten years old back then and this community was just getting started! Now that I have grown and this community has developed, I shall give it a try. (there are a lot of stories here that I have to try but I will try to get to this one soonTM.
Anywho, keep on living that good life. Thanks for popping in once in a while. Expect some comments someday in the future, and a part of those comments will be mine.
They were really lovely stories and I'd love to see you write more pony fiction