• Member Since 28th Dec, 2014

The Bromeister


"It is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not a flaw. That is life." ~ Jean Luc Picard, Star Trek TNG

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Total Words: 10,613,326
Estimated Reading: 4 weeks

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T

A recently discovered batch of 42 lyric fragments by the ancient poet Sappho seem to revolve around her attraction to a pony called Rarity. Scholars are puzzled what to make of this seeming descent into madness.

Botched Lobotomy here presents an arrangement of these "figments of imagination", suggestive perhaps of a narrative quite different from the popular interpretation.


An reflection/homage/companion to the remaining fragments of Sappho's poetry through the medium of fanfiction. Specifically, this translation. Familiarity with Sappho is recommended (because she's great), but not necessary.


An entry to Bicyclette's Twilight Files contest for epistolary fiction. Check out the other stories here!

Chapters (42)
E

When a freak reading accident causes Twilight to be admitted to the Ponyville hospital, Rainbow Dash is right by her side. Compelled by a sense of duty and repayment, she takes it upon herself to cheer up her friend.

Chapters (2)
T
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Clover the Clever never asked for his life to get so complicated.  It was bad enough tricking a drunk Imperatrix Celestia, war goddess of the Three Tribes, out of her accidental coup against Queen Platinum.  But now the most dangerous pony in Equestria has returned to trade her claim on the sun for a chance to woo him.

On top of that, his erstwhile mentor Star Swirl the Bearded has saddled him with a mysterious magical necklace and a uniquely bleak and pointless prophecy: If he's brave enough, and if he's clever enough, he just might survive Celestia for long enough to break her heart.


Now with an audio reading by ScarlettBlade!

Recommended by PresentPerfect! "horizon gave me the story I needed rather than the one I wanted ... along the way we get some very strong lessons about love, and meditations on the value of a lifetime and what one pony can achieve on their own."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

First place, "Out of Time" Writeoff! (11/2015) At long last, expanded to novella size! The world-spanning, centuries-spanning romance as it was always meant to be told!

PRAISE FOR THE WRITEOFF VERSION:
"One of my favorite depictions of Celestia in a long time." –billymorph
"To the top of the ballot with it." –AugieDog
"There’s going to be a lot of tears shed when this one hits publish." –Georg
"You need to read Time Enough For Love. I literally swore out loud when my computer crashed when I was halfway through, and then I immediately whipped out my smartphone to finish it. And now I'm reading it again in a desperate attempt to figure out how it does its job so damn well." –Bachiavellian
"I can get behind some historical revisionism for such a brilliant story. The writing is second-to-none … I laughed, I cried, and I felt other things too." –Trick Question

Cover art by Nadnerb.

Chapters (12)
E
Source

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. Things seem to be falling through the cracks lately. Spike thinks I should go see the doctor, but...

Chapters (1)
T
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"The first time I came back, I thought it was a miracle. By the fifth or sixth time, I knew it was a curse."

Death is a reasonable fear, but it is also a constant reassurance. A promise that no matter how bad things get, they will one day end.

That promise was broken, leaving Rainbow Dash to pay the cost.


A very last minute entry for the 2024 SciFi Contest III.

Special thanks to ScreamQueen and Rb for prereading and valuable feedback.

General content warning: Some depictions of blood, death, and debilitating injuries, but no graphic descriptions. Some existential horror.

Chapters (1)
T
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In a land with no heroes, two goddesses seek to defeat the tyrant known as Tirek who has been stealing the magic of ponykind.

Only there is no glory as their broken sorority hangs in the balance of a war-ravaged land where hope has been snuffed out and history is hardly ever the truth.


This is not a Daybreaker, Nightmare Star/Celestia, or Solar Flare story. Cover art is by plainoasis. Contribute to the TVTropes page! Check out PaulAsaran's spoiler-filled review if you want! This story fared 'pretty good'.

Chapters (18)
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Meditations on banishment, society, guilt, and divinity — all explored through the lens of a broken relationship between two goddesses.


The first chapter was originally published as a chapter in Missing Pages & Scrawled Footnotes on September 3rd, 2016. It has since been revised and expanded. The third chapter was also originally presented as a chapter in the same anthology on April 27th, 2019. Contribute to the TVTropes page!

Chapters (4)
T

It's a perfect day in the life of Twilight Sparkle. Ponyville's chief librarian has everything she wants: her books, her studies, a faithful dragon assistant, and the opportunity to go visit Sugarcube Corner on a beautiful afternoon, hanging out with the best friends that a young unicorn could ever ask for.

And yet, in spite of all this, Twilight has the distinct feeling that something is missing...

Chapters (9)
T
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"Sub-Level Five doesn't exist." That's the official statement of the Stairway company.

Washing out from the Night Guard program is usually a death sentence to any similar career. When Astral Sentinel was asked if he was interested in a security job, the Thestral obviously jumped at the chance.

There was just one oddity about the job. Well, there were quite a few, but mainly just one.
He just never, ever could acknowledge the existence of Sub-Level Five.

When a complete lock-down traps the Thestral inside the odd facility, he has to break that one rule. As the security systems begin to eradicate all life inside the building, Astral has to venture down to the elevators that officially don't exist, to a floor nopony alive will speak of.

He soon finds out that some things are best left buried beneath rock and stone.

*Warning. Hitchhikers may be escaped convicts.


"This story is simultaneously horrifying and adorable." -Witchery

Takes place far after Season 9. Although, it could take place at any time...(or in the Radverse, as some people call it.) This thing took on a mind of its own.

Seriously.

Read on if you want to join Astral for the ride.
I hope you brought your crowbar.


In later chapters, loose spoilers for Timeless, Sunspots, and Cure for a Toxin
Warnings for creepy atmosphere, gore, violence, and brief mentions of sexual content/assault (nothing explicit, only implied.)

Despite this being a horror story with unpleasant elements, it's not grimdark or a depressing tale. Lots more ups and downs, but overall it's a positive read of good vs evil, love and fluff; those are the types stories I write, after all. I just want to let everyone know what they're getting into, and don't want any readers blindsided due to some of the content.
(Not a romance involving a 'herd')

Chapters (130)
T
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The Fire of Friendship has all but faded. One thousand years ago, Equestria fractured... those who disagreed with Celestia's rule left under the leadership of Princess Luna to found their own nation, their own way of life. Seventy years later, Celestia and Luna both disappeared during the first war, leaving the battered nations leaderless in their absence.

Over the last nine hundred years wars have frequently waged between Equestria and Lunaria, each seeking to unite ponykind under their own ideals. Equestria's mastery of magic often gave it the edge in battle, but never enough for a decisive victory. Peace reigns for now, but recent developments in Lunaria signal a shift in the balance between the two divided nations...

Chapters (54)