The wise who feared the coming dark strove hard to make their world an ark. But then the dark had grace to give: they couldn't flee, but could yet live.

Winner of the category "BEST WRITER WITH <500 FOLLOWERS" in the 2021 April Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest.

Many thanks to Admiral Biscuit for prereading.

Temporary note: minor edits to a few sentences to make them easier to understand correctly are planned, but in the interest of fair judging no changes will be made to the published version of this story until after the contest results are announced. EDIT: to be made once opportunity permits.

A crossover of The Optimalverse with The Culture series by Iain M. Banks. Very non-canon.

CelestAI finally meets her match in deep space, when she encounters The Culture, an advanced "pan-human" alien civilization governed by a decentralized network of benevolent AIs known as Minds.

Entry for the April 2021 Friendship is Optimal writing contest, gunning for high concept. Co-written with OpenAI GPT-3, specificially AI Dungeon's premium "Dragon" model.

Special thanks to hosts Johnny and GSV of We Uncultured Swine podcast for Culture series lore advice on its Discord!

Anon is tired of the hectic day-to-day of living amongst the ponyfolk and decides to purchase some land in the Everfree to have some peace and quiet all by his lonesome. How much land you ask? All of it

Join me in watching as Anon sorts out the bits and bobs of his newfound assets. It is sure to be a ride, and definitely not a smooth one.

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

Takes place starting shortly after the conclusion of Slice of Life.

Featured for Nine Consecutive days from 6-20-21 to 6-29-21!

Check out the audiobook by Straighttothepoint!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhMoe4RfYz0

Anon doesn't dislike the ponies in his life per se. he just...doesn't think he should involve himself. They are all doing so well for themselves, and he can take care of himself.

He's always been able to take care of himself.

Anon has had it up to his head with his dead-end job as a busboy in a shithole franchise joint. Lucky for him, he has a week of paid vacation to think it over, just enough time to dip his toes into the waters for some more...unorthodox employment opportunities.

The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

One lonely night, Vinyl decides to use her old two-way radio to relieve the tedium. In doing so, she stumbles upon the voice of 'Adi,' who has a story so crazy Vinyl isn't willing to believe it.

But Adi is desperate, so desperate that Vinyl knows something really is wrong. Can her words help Adi overcome whatever is really happening? Even if she can instill hope in this stranger, is hope worth anything against seemingly insurmountable odds?

All Vinyl can do is sit before her radio and talk. Perhaps it will be enough.

Thanks to Mercury Gilado and Starlight Nova for pre-reading and editing.

Now featured on Equestria Daily!

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio! It came as quite the surprise.

Cover Art Credit: HolyShmow

Breaking news! Rent-A-Pony is proud to announce that it's slashing their prices yet again.

One dollar will now get you one whole day with a pony of your choice.

Sounds too cheap to be true? Stop asking questions and rent a pony anyways!

Seriously... just stop asking questions.

At first, Princess Celestia was only in your bed. Then she was still in your bed. Now, she has stolen all of your bed sheets and refuses to leave that same bed.

So what could this have to do with the fate of all mankind?

Spin-off of Princess Celestia Is In Your Bed.

Entry into ocalhoun's Big 250K Contest.

Now with a youtube reading! HERE!