The prospect of meeting an alien has always fascinated Rainbow Dash. With countless worlds out there beyond the stars, who is to say that extraterrestrial life doesn't exist? What would they be like? Would they be just like her, but with a gross third eye? Would they be sturdy enough to beat her in a fight, or quick enough to beat her in a race? Would they be malevolent and try to conquer Equestria with their DEADLY SPACE LASERS?

Yeah, you're none of those things. She's a bit disappointed.

In a secret underground room near the back of Canterlot Castle, a super important meeting is being held. With figures like Princess Twilight Sparkle, Dragon Lord Ember, Queen Novo, and the now-retired Celestia all in attendance, what could have caused such a tense, dangerous meeting to take place?

And why do you have to be caught in the middle of it?!

This story is a sequel to Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1

Fluttershy thought the way to Anon's heart was through his pants. Anon never responded well to her advances, until finally she gives up. What will Anon do with his new found freedom?

Note: A different take on the 'Flutterrape' genre of stories, spawned from 4chan, where Fluttershy guesses Anon's fetish every morning to try and win his love.

Some lifestyles are hard to change. For a human with no special talent, you had to stoop to a lowly position in society just to make ends meet. Tonight's customer is special. She's the only one who used to believe in you and thought you could stop.

You've had your eyes set on Applejack for a long time. Maybe your best friend Rainbow Dash can help you earn Applejack's heart. You wouldn't see why not. Besides, she's your best bro. Right?

Previous Cover Art

Chinese Translation on Fimtale
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

Anonymous leaves Ponyville to pursue a quiet office job in Manehattan. While he finds the possibility of new love in his future, he finds that his past from Ponyville isn't willing to give him up so easily. Some mares just don't know when to stop.

Who will Anon choose? His past life, Fluttershy? The mysterious Autumn? Or, perhaps the troubled Mulberry?

It's Hearthswarming! The fireplace is lit, the presents are under the tree, and you are sharing a cup of hot cocoa with your best friend. How could it get any better? Well, if you ask Rainbow Dash, the answer is to venture outside in freezing temperatures and throw balls of frozen water at one another until you are soaked and suffering from hypothermia, or something like that.

For a mare that doesn't have a reputation for thinking things through, you doubt she has a plan to warm up after it's all said and done. Tonight, though...she might just surprise you.

Featured on 8 Jan 2023!
Featured on 26 Dec 2023!

Update (October 2023): I commissioned Redruin to do a 10 page comic for this story! Check my blog post or derpibooru to see it!

For Rainbow Dash, seeing is believing. When her friend Twilight Sparkle told her that "electricity is harmful to humans with enough likelihood that you should definitely not zap Anon with lightning bolts", she didn't listen. After all from the two of them, it was Dash who saw more creatures zapped with lightning. Most of those occurrences were her doing as well. And so she decided to knock down two apples with one stone - teach her book loving friend a lesson about who the real weather expert is, and cure the local oddity that was Anonymous the Human from his irrational fear. Oh, and of course have a blast doing it.

Things don't exactly go according to her plan however, and she ends up creating a bigger mess than she could comprehend - not only for herself and her target, but also a certain somepony who will have to abandon her ancient traditions and improvise on the spot.

Formerly marked mature for uncouth language and the death theme. I now have an actual 'death' tag though, so I dropped it down.

Merithorical proofreading and non-constructive feedback: Anoridan and Void Whisperer
Nitpicking and comma insertion: abronie

You are a human, Anonymous, that has lived in Equestria for two years. After a Hearth's Warming Eve spent together, Anonymous goes through a revolutionary phase when he realizes that Rainbow Dash, his closest friend in this world, has been harboring feelings for him that he never even noticed. How did he never notice? Why him, and not a stallion? Is he some kind of xenophiliac deep down?

Rated for language, along with various sexual-themed exploits. But no sex. Because sex with pastel-colored horses shouldn't be posted on websites that are meant to be browsed by anyone who can click a check box on a dropdown list used by anyone browsing a website. Or at least made to be more secure than that. Because really, who would want to read something like that?

This story has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit the prose-reading mind.

Audioplay (Complete!)

Links to Commando Pony's reading:
Chapters 1-4
Chapters 5-8

UPDATE! The original version of this story was recently added to the /mlp/ collaboration of "Tales To Fap Too - Volume #3". You can purchase the paperback version here (all proceeds go to charity):
Link to paperback version
Again, it is the unedited version, so you'll be reading it in full 4chan greentext format. Also, you'll get spoilers. Spoilers everywhere.

Rainbow Dash has invited you over for a lazy night at her house. How will she spill her secrets to you tonight?

Introducing: a 2nd-person story with only Rainbow Dash's lines to you for a truly immersive experience.