5324489
Congratz on your promotion!

5326462 Thank you!

5326503 Yeah, grats, dude! You deserve it!

Reviewing: Her Own Pony

Read: Six chapters

Status: Approved

It seems as though the episode Too Many Pinkie Pies has moved quite a few authors to take up the plight of the clones, and I've read a few of the stories. This is the best one I've read so far.

"YOU ARE NOT THE REAL PINKIE PIE!"

"You probably shouldn't even exist."

"You're only a clone, you don't HAVE any feelings!"

Who was she to believe? She was barely a day old, and already she'd seen the disappearance of her mirror images, all but her. Was she just a clone? A disposable unfeeling analog?

What would happen if she became her own pony? If she became real?

Is it possible for one of the Pinkie's, the only copy left behind, to develop? To become an entirely different pony to the one that she was modelled after?

Now normally, seeing a misspelled word in the description does not bode well for the story, but this is a rare exception. I remember feeling a bit sad as I watched the episode, and saw Twilight dispose of those clones with nary a thought as to how they might feel about being...vanished? Winked out? Dare I say...killed? This story fully explores those ambivalent emotions, in the form of one clone that escaped her sisters' fate.

It is hard to feel anything but pity for this runaway copy that simply wants to live. The reader is treated to some deep characterization on the part of the players, and while I have yet to finish this story there seem to be hints that not all the ponies feel the same way about her being...disposed of. The clone...well, wait...it doesn't seem right to call her that, so let's refer to her as Pinkie as well...finds help from the oddest of sources, and her journey for survival has ( thus far ) taken her to Canterlot, in an effort to have an audience with the Princesses.

While the tale could use an editor in places, the mechanical errors do not detract much from the tale, and the resulting feels as she desperately searches for the means to keep existing are genuine. My only real complaint is the Author's Notes that appear at the head of each chapter, Notes that would probably be better suited to a blog, as they can break immersion.

Finally, I'd like to point out that though I've yet to finish this tale, and therefore do not know the outcome, there seems to be a canon reference to one of the clones getting away. If you blink you may miss her, but she appears briefly in one of Pinkie's diner scenes during the episode Saddle Row Review. If that is her, I wish her the best.

Story: Fall of Equestria: Judgment, by Ekhidna.

Rating: 9.25/10.

Status: Accepted.

Ok, I think I should borrow something from Rage Reviews before we begin.

Now, with that out of the way, let's tackle Fall of Equestria: Judgement. To start with, this is a hate-fic directed at the Fall of Equestria universe. For those not in the know, that's a world where a bunch of bigoted male-supremist Caribou take over Equestria and use mind magic to corrupt all the inhabitants, turning females into mindless sex slaves and the males into abusive masters. This is only story I've read from that world, and frankly I think it's going to stay that way. The concept is abhorrent on every level, and deserves all the flak it gets.

That said, why does this one make the cut? To start with, it's not terribly written. It has good grammar, good pacing, and I knew after about three chapters that I wouldn't be able to put it down until I was finished. Like it or hate it, I had to have closure. That's why I'm putting this out at two in the morning instead of getting some sleep. Second, while it does primarily exist to rip the Fall of Equestria world apart, it doesn't do just that. It could exist on its own without the universe it was spawned from. Unlike many fix-fics, it isn't just a fix. Also, I loved the little interviews at the start of the earlier chapters. Those were fantastic, and it's a shame they stopped after chapter five.

I could on like this for a while, but in truth I only need one sentence: despite its self proclaimed hating nature the author actually put effort into it. The large number of dislikes is for the subject material, not the quality of the story itself. The only problem I really have with the writing is the enormous chapter size, which I'm pretty sure makes the thing hard to proofread, as the longer a chapter is, the more typos I spot.

I don't care about the porn or gorn, I mostly skipped over it. Same with the anthro: aside from a few mentions of hands I was mostly picturing the characters as full ponies. That doesn't make or break a story most of the time. No, I liked the exploration of the characters and the nature of the Caribou, and the torment you have to force yourself and others through just to survive in that world. That was the heart of this: monsters begetting monsters, pretending to be a monster to live, and how long you can do that before you're no longer pretending.

Speaking of which, I have two words where the Caribou are concerned: Zuul and Suul'Ka. The former are an alien race of telepathic, mind raping marsupials that share quite a few similarities with the Caribou (look them up for further details). The second is not a race, but a label. A label that roughly translates as "genocidal sociopath" "planet-wide mind raper" and "aspiring god" all rolled into one. The Caribou and Dainn are Suul'Ka, through and through, explained in thorough detail and double checked by Spike in a way that makes the scientist in me nod in affirmation.

There is no mistake here, no misunderstanding about what the Caribou are, and no moral failure on the protagonist's part for wiping them out (that's not a spoiler, it's in the story description), no matter what you might read in the comments. Even the few Caribou that don't agree with their ways know the species can't be saved. You don't reason with Suul'Ka, or bargain with them, or show them mercy. You wipe them out to the last, no questions asked. If the Caribou had won, I would have no qualms about glassing the entire planet to make sure the sickness didn't spread farther. Spike did what needed to be done, and took his punishment in kind. He's no hero, but I respect him all the same.

In summary, the story works. It works really well on a multitude of levels. I can't give it highest ratings (9.5-10) due to the typos I mentioned, the dark subject matter, and a few unusual turns of phrase that the editors must have missed, but I can recommend it. It's emotionally draining and extremely cathartic. If you dare to read, make sure to set aside a large chunk of uninterrupted free time to do so (it took me about seven hours to read the entire thing). This story will hog your attention, and you won't be able to focus on anything else until you're done.

Reading: Much Ahoof About Nothing

5346108 I've actually heard of this I believe a year ago when someone said they hated FoE. Since I read Fallout Equestria, I was curious and asked the person why do they hate it. I was surprised when I found out that he was referring to a different book, the Fall of Equestria. Curiosity beckoned and I asked what was so bad about it. He only told me a few tidbits about it but then after that, he told me to never read it ever. I still haven't read it yet but my curiosity is just wanting to know... Ah good times.

Reviewing: Much Ahoof About Nothing

Read: Two chapters

Status: Rejected

I tried. I really tried to like this story. It is very well written, the characters are well thought out, there are few if any grammatical errors. But after struggling for almost two weeks to read a chapter I've had to give it up, and it's for one reason only: the ship.

This is a story about Twilight and Celestia not realizing they're in love with each other, but there are certain ponies around them ( Luna, then Rarity later) who figure it out before they do, and begin to mold circumstances so that the two can figure it out on their own. I actually found that sweet. If it had been just about any other couple I would have been fine with it. But here's the problem.

I've mentioned this before in other reviews for similar themes and I have to come back to it for this one. This is a relationship between a teacher and a student, and try as I might I just cannot get over the squick factor that creates in me. We read almost every week about some teacher having been caught sending inappropriate texts and pictures to his or her students or worse, having actually had sex with them. That is simply not right, and I could not get the picture out of my head as I tried to read this one.

I'm sure there are many Twilestia fans on this site, and to them, I apologize. This is certainly not a judgment of someone else's tastes, just a personal preference of mine. I LOVE Romance, especially well written Romance, but I have to pass on this one.

Reading: How To Raise Your Moon

5385145 Oh, that's a good one. I actually promised to review it once it was finished and I could properly weigh the entire thing. The only problem is the author is taking his sweet time on it.

Reviewing: How To Raise Your Moon

Read: Two chapters

Status: Rejected

Hoo boy. This one was actually painful to read, for several reasons. Let's start with the description:

"I can face the whole world with one claw, as long as your hoof is holding the other." - A Dragon in Love -

Luna and Spike romantic feelgood thriller with a dash of political intrigue.

'...a great and glorious orchestration in romance...' - Wing, Non-Pareil Fiction

'You made me cry tears of sorrow and joy, cheer like a madman and truly be happy for the two characters I never even liked in the show.' - Eversquee

'This is the most I've laughed, cried, exclaimed and cheered in a long long time.' - Melancholy

See, that's not a description. It's a bunch of testimonials, and right away I find myself turned off. The only part that can be viewed as anything close to telling the reader what the story is about is that one line about Luna and Spike, and that's hardly adequate.

Let the reader make up their own minds about your story, please don't begin with glowing blurbs from other readers before I can even give it a chance.

As for the story itself, it is a first person perspective told by Spike. That in and of itself is not a problem. No, the problem is Spike is constantly talking to the reader, which is both annoying and breaks immersion. It's the way he talks, spouting out quip after quip which is simply not in character for Spike. I know he's older in this tale, but he should still be himself. Seeing him portrayed as a wise-cracking teenager was yet another turn-off. That, and we have the dreaded incorrect dialogue punctuation:

"*M-Meeplesquee*..." She squeaked, flinching and withdrawing behind her forehooves.

"IS THAT THOU, DEAR SPIKE?!" I was suddenly flattened by a Friendship Express to the face.

"P-Princess, i-indoor voice, please." I pleaded from where I hugged the ground for dear life.

"Um, I mean, 'sorry', dear Spike." The princess repeated in a voice a little more friendly than a cannon to the head.

Finally, the writer has taken the odd choice of inserting youtube videos within the story, presumably for the songs. I didn't bother to click on them, for this is supposed to be a story. If I wanted to watch videos and listen to music I can do so, but not when I'm being told a tale. Most damningly, the writer has also chosen copyrighted lyrics in the second chapter, and simply changed a few words to fit the tale. Here's the site's rule on the same:

Don’t Post (Content)

Stories containing copyrighted song lyrics. Lyrics from MLP songs are allowed.

Taking a song from Disney's Beauty and the Beast falls into the above category, which was disappointing. This writer does indeed have talent but made far too many errors for this tale to be allowed into the Bin.

Reviewing: The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart

Read: All

Status: Approved

This. This I was not prepared for. At. ALL.

Many times Nurse Redheart has seen to the comfort of ponies in their final hours.

When her turn comes, though, she has only you.

There are very few writers that can take the candy-coated world of My Little Pony and make the characters live and breathe in gritty reality. This is one such writer.

Here we have a background pony, one we've all seen a few times and probably never given her a second thought. I certainly didn't. Hell, I didn't even know her name. But thanks to this tale, now I'll never forget her. In a few words, this tale introduces a minor character and gives her a personality all her own. The reader is drawn into her life, which raises a few questions but mostly leaves them unanswered. Which is where the Tragedy tag is earned.

The tale is without mercy, for through the various scene descriptions and the protagonist's dialogue we are taken into that city, feeling every crack in the sidewalks, smelling the air, and hearing the sounds. So there's no escape.

I don't want to spoil this one for any new readers, other than to say: prepare yourself.

5424912
Thanks for the lovely review! ^.^
And you don't really have to worry about spoilers in this one. The ending isn't really meant to be a surprise. In fact, I think knowing what's coming makes it all the more gripping to read.

Man, it's been a while. Have a two-er to make up for it.

Story: To Love is Chaos, by Emperor.

Rating: 8/10

Status: accepted.

What if Nightmare Moon and Discord could talk to each other during their 1000-year imprisonments? They'd fall in love, of course, or according to this story that's what they'd do. I don't find the idea of these two coming to love each other to be implausible, especially considering the how. You fall in love with those you spend the most time around and 1000 years is a span of time so large our puny monkey brains cannot comprehend it without experiencing it for ourselves. When you only have one other person to keep you sane, you cling to them will all your strength. That's just human nature, which makes it pony nature as well.

This story is, for the most part, Nightmare Moon and Discord chewing the scenery and each other. This is as hilarious as it sounds. The character interactions between them are fluid and interesting, and it's shame we don't get more of it. This leads to the main problem with the story: it's rushed. As a 10,000+ word one-shot such a claim might be somewhat eyebrow raising, but in truth N.M.M. and Discord stop fighting and start liking each other very quickly, at least from the perspective of the audience. This story needs more time, and as a one-shot that time is not available. Split the story into about five total chapters of 4-5,000 words each, a little over doubling the word count, and I think it would be much better. That said, it does work a story despite this issue, so I do think it's passable.

Story: Holiday Sunlight, by RS-Belle14.

Rating: 7.5/10.

Status: accepted.

Twilight and Sunset have a romantic vacation in the human world. That's all there is to it. It's sweet, playful, and funny when it wants to be, but not overly outstanding in any particular area. Good without being great. The main strike against this one is the fact that since I read it a while ago I don't actually remember most of it.

Title: A Lovely Mare

2) Description:She's just a pony who wants to fit in, the stereotypical goal of anypony who doesn't want to be lonely. However, she's also a mare with a dark secret that must be kept. If this secret were to be known, she would lose all hope in "fitting in".

3) What you aimed to achieve with this story: My objection is a sweet/ good moral for everyone to understand.

4) What makes it unique/special/cool: Shows that anyone can overcome a difficult path if you keep at it and do your best.

I'm new to this so I hope I'm doing this right. Thank you for your time.

5442086

I'm new to this so I hope I'm doing this right.

I'm afraid you've posted your self-submission in the wrong thread. This is the decision thread for stories that were not self-submitted.

Besides, it seems you've actually already posted your self-submission in the correct thread a few hours ago...

5442086 Ah, yes. I actually saw your other submission earlier, but falsely assumed I could leave it until later, and for that I apologise.

However, as I have mentioned in the opening post of the self submissions thread (which 5442257 has handily linked to):

Make sure your grammar is presentable when submitting. If it’s particularly atrocious, your submission will be ignored.

Now, this was a tad tricky since there was very little actually written in your submission, but given that there seem to be words that are outright missing or wrong, when answering both questions, I have elected to not add the story to the Pending Review folder at the present time.

That's, um, all. Sorry again for the wait: I got caught up in a discussion elsewhere.

5442257 Sorry about that. I posted it in both because I wasn't sure witch was the right one. You may removed the one that is incorrect.

5442291

Ah, yes. I actually saw your other submission earlier, but falsely assumed I could leave it until later, and for that I apologise.

I wasn't trying to rush you. If you felt like that, I'm sorry. That was not my intent.

Now, this was a tad tricky since there was very little actually written in your submission, but given that there seem to be words that are outright missing or wrong, when answering both questions, I have elected to not add the story to the Pending Review folder at the present time.

I'm sorry but what? Can you elaborate on that please? From what I read and from what others have said, there doesn't seem to be any missing words or wrong as you claim. I'm not trying to be rude but I just want to clear up any misunderstanding. I hope you understand.

5443114

My objection is a sweet/ good moral

Objection: an expression or feeling of disapproval or opposition; a reason for disagreeing. I believe that wasn't the word you were looking for, and if it was, then I think perhaps that's a completely different problem on its own.

Shows that even can overcome difficult path if you keep at it and do your best.

-> Shows that even (something) can overcome (a) difficult path. I'm not sure if English is your first language, but if it is, try saying 'shows that even can overcome difficult path' out loud, and you ought to at least have a small feeling that something went wrong.

Now, I'm perfectly aware that sometimes, people type the wrong thing, but since there are only actually two sentences that weren't directly taken from the description, 100% of the sentences written expressly for this submission filling in the required points were written wrong or incorrectly. That's not a great percentage. Hope this clears the matter up.

5443127

Objection: an expression or feeling of disapproval or opposition; a reason for disagreeing. I believe that wasn't the word you were looking for, and if it was, then I think perhaps that's a completely different problem on its own.

Fair enough. I can see your point but let me ask you this- Have you read the story(should be obvious but just in case, I'll ask anyways)? Because unless the answer is yes, then I can't really change it unless you see what the story holds(so to speak). Not trying to be rude but it's like everyone says-
"Don't judge a book by it's cover."
But that's just me.

-> Shows that even (something) can overcome (a) difficult path. I'm not sure if English is your first language, but if it is, try saying 'shows that even can overcome difficult path' out loud, and you ought to at least have a small feeling that something went wrong.

English is my first language. I will admit I wrote that at the moment but not sure what I can add. Until you see it, there's not much more I can say without sounding redundant... Also, I just caught it. My mistake.

Now, I'm perfectly aware that sometimes, people type the wrong thing, but since there are only actually two sentences that weren't directly taken from the description, 100% of the sentences written expressly for this submission filling in the required points were written wrong or incorrectly. That's not a great percentage. Hope this clears the matter up.

Wasn't aware it had to be taken. I thought it would come off as lazy(or something like that). So, what can I say that will make it 'acceptable'?

I should add when I said, "From what I read and from what others have said, there doesn't seem to be any missing words or wrong as you claim.", I thought you were referring to the discretion. My bad

5443139

So, what can I say that will make it 'acceptable'?

Now it's my turn to say that I don't want to sound rude, but it's not my job to tell you how to make your own story sound appealing, or edit your submission for you. If you want me to accept the submission, you need to kinda do that yourself. I could, but then I'd have to do that to the 100+ stories also in the folders.

Call it laziness if you want, but we have a lot of submissions, and real lives that take up a lot of our time. We don't want to have to trudge through lots of stories we know we'll just have to reject anyway, which is why we do judge submissions by whether they look at least minimally decent. Otherwise, we wouldn't even have this as a system.

I'd recommend you take a week or something to think about how you want to submit your story, and then do it properly. If you want a longer explanation regarding what I look for in a submission, I even made a blog post about it.

Now it's my turn to say that I don't want to sound rude, but it's not my job to tell you how to make your own story sound appealing, or edit your submission for you. If you want me to accept the submission, you need to kinda do that yourself. I could, but then I'd have to do that to the 100+ stories also in the folders.

No, I understand. Don't want to make your work load any higher. Do you know another user that can look at it then? Because I can't really do anything until I have at some recognition so to speak.

Call it laziness if you want, but we have a lot of submissions, and real lives that take up a lot of our time. We don't want to have to trudge through lots of stories we know we'll just have to reject anyway, which is why we do judge submissions by whether they look at least minimally decent. Otherwise, we wouldn't even have this as a system.

I wasn't saying your lazy. I'm sorry if I you thought that was directed to you. I was saying re-writing the same thing would come off as lazy(Me not you). Sorry for the mix-up. But here's something worth noting... How do you know you won't like it? That's the billion dollar question I have for you. Considering it has 13-2 ratio, I believe with all my heart is it worth it. Of course, that's just me. If you felt disrespected, I'm sorry. I was only saying what I thought.

5443165

How do you know you won't like it?

I don't, but it's like crossing the road blindfolded. I don't know I won't be hit by a car, but I don't want to chance it either.

The submissions thread is us poking holes in the blindfold.

5443175 As much as I hate to admit, you raise a very good point... (What am I going to do...?) Well, do you know another user that has free time or at least will give it a shot?

5443178 I'm confused. Give what a shot?

5443205 As it check out the story to see if it can be acceptable in this group. Sorry for my poor choice of words.

5443208 Ah.

Unfortunately, no. Or at least, not within how this group works. If the other approvers want to look at it in their spare time, I'm not one to get in their way.

Stories that get reviewed for approval first have to be added to the 'Pending Review' folder. To get added to the 'Pending Review' folder, you have to go through the Self Submissions thread, which you have. A submission is looked at by yours truly, who checks that the submission at least adheres to a minimum standard. That's pretty much that. A self-submission has to get past me first before the story gets looked at by anyone else for this group.

As it stands, you have three options. You can either wait a week and try submitting the story again (hopefully better), hope that someone else adds your story to our 'Submit other people's work here' folder, or try to look for a different group or independent reviewer.

5443222 Hmm... Well one is out side there's not much I can do right now. Don't know anyone else offhand(then again, I don't know all the reviewers here) and three I have already done three but haven't gotten much results(since they aren't well known). I came here because from what I've heard, you guys are known so...

5443227 Then chances are your best bet is to wait, spend the time looking over your story so that if your next submission goes better, it might also get accepted into our folders, and then try again in a week.

5443379 The story itself isn't an issue(judging from the 13-2 ratio and from what people have said). It's just being noticed that is the problem(So to speak)

5443427 If you say so.

If you do re-submit in a week, I'll likely find out for myself.

5443443 I'm not trying to be arrogant so if I come off as that, I'm sorry. If I may say this, while the "description" is lack, I assure you the story heavily makes up for that(of course, that's just how I see it). I guess I'll wait another week if nobody picks it up before then.

Reviewing: To Love Your Killer

Read: Both chapters

Status: Rejected

While this is a very ambitious tale, there are far too many plot holes and what I have to deem as contrivances to allow this one in. Let's start with the description:

Since Luna's return some of Equestria's rival nations have felt threatened by the extra goddess now ruling along side Celestia. Many of them don't respect her or even listen to what she says and a few have even chosen to remove her from power, whether through political machination or assassination. This newest assassin though, he is different and the longer he stays and the more he tries to end Luna the more Luna discovers about him. For the assassin Luna presents something to him he has never encountered before and it causes something in him to change the more times he tries.

First of all, there's the premise that Luna, or anyone for that matter, would feel anything but revulsion for an assassin. "Gale," as he's named here, speaks kindly to Luna, but that's just before he tries to kill her! Let me mention that again: He's. Trying. To. KILL. Her! Only her Alicorn powers prevent her from succumbing to his attempts, which for some reason (according to the plot) doesn't deter him. To make matters worse, this is a HUMAN assassin, which would normally make this particular rogue all that easier to detect. The story makes the point of mentioning he is able to elude all their detections precisely because he uses no magic, but that explanation doesn't wash. And let's spare a few moments mentioning the ineptitude, the criminal ineptitude, of the so-called guards that are supposed to be protecting the Princess. I know they're portrayed in canon as being slightly less competent as they should be, in order to provide a vehicle for the Mane Six to rush in and save the day, but the way they're presented here is nothing short of ridiculous. Every freaking attempt by this "assassin" begins with him getting in through an unguarded window. Over the course of two months, wouldn't somepony, oh, I don't know, GUARD THE FUCKING WINDOWS?!? This is what I meant by "contrivances." But it doesn't stop there, O no!

Luna takes the incredibly asinine decision to fall in love with her tormentor. Yes, he's given a tragic backstory, but again, seriously, WHY should she care? Because the self-insert needs to be understood and not only accepted but loved by the pony he's been trying to kill. No. Hell no. Not buying it. Oh, and exactly when did Gale lose an arm? That detail just came out of nowhere, without explanation. All the more to elicit the feels, I'm guessing, but it just fell flat.

This was a frustrating piece that simply tried too hard to make us feel something for the protagonist but failed due to the circumstances portrayed.

Reviewing: The Revenge of the Foal-Sat

Read: All

Status: Rejected

I tried to like this story, I really did. It's cute, it's funny...but it's just a copy of BIll Waterson's Calvin and Hobbes. Even the cover art is a ponified version of the original. If I'd never read Calvin and Hobbes I would have thought this to be an original fun tale, but even then I would see Twilight and Cadence acting OOC. That's the second most damning fact of this tale; the author had to tweak their personalities in order to make the story work. And that should have been a sign it was a bad idea.

The tale has a like/dislike ratio of 513:41 ( I didn't downvote it, despite my feelings on the matter ), so obviously there's plenty of readers that enjoyed it. But there was very little effort made to make this veer from the source material, for this story is copied scene for scene, if not word for word. I found myself just disappointed, but I did read it twice to make sure my feelings were the same. I was hoping it was going to be loosely based on the original, but it wasn't.

Sorry to all the fans of this tale, but this is simply plagiarism. Pass.

Story: Daughters of Glimmer, by Summer Dancer.

Rating: 9+/10. (Waiting on completion for final verdict)

Status: accepted.

Holy shit. Now this is a story that doesn't pull its punches. The premise is simple enough, answering the question, "What if Starlight's revenge was to turn the mane six into fillies, raise them as her own, and use them to overthrow Equestria" The story perfectly exemplifies why Starlight is the scariest villain Equestria has ever seen, topping out even Tirek. She's smart, gifted, genre savvy, and uses a kind of ruthless creativity I usually only see in rationalist stories. This makes her dangerous in a way the stereotypical villain never can be.

This story is split into two, more or less. While the bulk of the story is focused around the filly mane six growing up under Starlight's equality centered tender love and care, the start of each chapter gives you a look at the world outside, where the Elements of Harmony are presumed dead after five years of search. These sections really drive home the emotional impact, and the story as a whole is much stronger for their inclusion. In addition, writing those scenes takes guts a for a writer to do, as killing a main a character, even if only in the eyes of their loved ones, is a line most authors aren't willing to cross. Starlight effectively committed murder, and in doing so made it utterly impossible for the characters to come to a peaceful resolution. Whatever ending this story has, it will not be a happily ever after.

Finally, the most interesting twist this story has thrown out so far is a major secret Starlight figured out and dropped as a bombshell on Equestria as a whole. We don't know what it is just yet, but it was enough to get the populace to turn on Celestia and Luna, allowing Starlight to create a sort of Elected monarchy in their place. Even if the mane six somehow come back to themselves, Equestria will never be the same.

If this story has a flaw, it's one of the following: Discord being unable to track down the mane six, or that it spends a lot of time on Starlight brainwashing her supposed children. The later is difficult, painful reading, though not because it is bad, and happens in the early chapters, so if you're going to put this down before finishing it, it will be around chapters 3 to 5. However, if you can make it past that hurdle, you are in for a treat.

Reading: Because Love Conquers All

Story: Accidents happen, by Majin Syeekoh.

Rating: 8.5/10.

Status: accepted

If there's one thing wrong with this story, it's that it's too short. I basically can't review it without spoiling it, and trust me, this one is better if you don't know what you're getting into. I'll just say it involves time travel and let you draw your own conclusions. That said, I can say that it's hilarious, well paced, and brings up a point that I've only ever seen touched on in DC's Watchmen, the comic. It's short, but sweet. Go read it.

5478988 Thank you! I certainly didn't expect to end up in here.

Also, it's DC Comics. My inner comic book nerd couldn't let that go.

5479017 My bad. It's not in any universe but its own, so it was harder to remember who owned it.

5479285 A perfectly understandable mistake to make.

Reviewing: Because Love Conquers All

Read: Three chapters, skimmed the fourth

Status: Rejected

This is a very ambitious tale, full of engaging imagery and world-building. But it's not My Little Pony.

This story is a sequel to Metempsychosis

Alternate Ending to Metempsychosis, Alternate Timeline. What if Luna and Scrivener Blooms had given in? What if the darkness, the corruption, the evil had simply been too great?

Luna and Scrivener have conquered many enemies together, survived Ragnarok, and overcome one of the most dangerous beings in the known universe... and yet constantly it has left them looking into the darkness both without and within. But now, both find themselves falling into a sea of corruption from which there may be no escape... and which may cause them to become the very things they have fought for so long against. Old roles are lost, new transformations begin, and the definition of 'villain' and 'evil' are first met, then pushed into the deepest depths of darkness imaginable.

A story divided into seven stages, with each successive stage bringing new levels of darkness, selfishness, and sin until the very end. Love, lust, violence, forbidden knowledge and forbidden pleasure all comingle, along with control, power, hatred, and even honor. Not a story for the faint of heart. Does not have to be read for the sixth story of the Nátta Edda to still make sense.

The fifth story of the Nátta Edda, and the second story of the Iðavöll Trilogy.

I truly wish readers would submit these sort of tales in order, for it would have been much better to read this series from the beginning, instead of starting where I did.

First of all, the author takes lines from other works and submits them as his/her own. Allow me to illustrate:

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a Draconequus of wealth and taste; I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a pony's soul and faith. I was around when Celestia had her moment of doubt and pain... made damn sure that Luna rose her horn and sealed her fate. Pleased to meet you... hope you guess my name: but what's confusing you is the nature of my game.

...that's directly taken from Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones and...

You see, 'twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, in a place that perhaps you have seen in your dreams; the story that you are about to be told, took place in the Midgardian layers of old. Now you've probably wondered where nightmares come from... if you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun.

...that's from Tim Burton's A Nightmare Before Christmas. So that's two strikes against this tale already, and that sits well with me not at all when an author lifts lines from someone else's work.

One of the other main problems with this story is the characters are from MLP in name only. At this point, the only MLP character is Luna and she's completely OOC. Perhaps if this series had been read from the beginning it would make sense for her to be married to an Earth pony with the un-ponylike name of "Scrivener Blooms," or for Luna herself to have a Norse name such as "Brynhild." I'm sure there's much more going on here than a reading at this stage will allow, but even so, it still doesn't feel like MLP.

Let's deal with the conflict itself. After the first two chapters which are pure exposition, the reader is thrust into this situation:

Scrivener Blooms threw his head back with a howl of torment, his body convulsing: hooves tore against the ground as the earth pony shook his head wildly, his normally charcoal-colored coat rippling, darkening in places here and there as his white mane and tail sparked with unnatural light. Chestnut eyes snapped open in features marred by a hoof-shaped scar that covered almost half his face, but he only stared sightlessly as a terrible sapphire aura pulsed around his body, shocks of energy and electricity twisting over his warping, distorting form.

His wife, his soulmate, his best friend could only stare in horror as tears fell from her eyes: for all her strength, she was helpless to do anything to stop this, to save him, as the winged unicorn dug her hooves against the dirt road beneath her, her dark-blue body flexing as she tried to push herself away even as she was dragged towards her husband by her glowing, spiraled horn. The corruption that had been tormenting Scrivener Blooms and the machinations of Valthrudnir, a pedantic Jötnar, had poisoned the link that existed between their souls, was manipulating the magic of the once-Princess of the Night and twisting Scrivener's mind and body... and Luna shrieked as she was yanked forwards, her wings spreading and trying to shove herself away, her dark cyan eyes glowing as inside her, Nightmare Moon gave a wordless cry of anger, of confusion, and most of all... of fear.

Clearly, the story is picking up from earlier established scenes written in a previous tale, but other than that supposition I was completely lost. Why is this happening, and what is happening? What or who is a Valthrudnir or a Jötnar? These are the sort of questions that are barely answered by reading this tale alone, as this story assumes the reader had perused the preceding ones.

I will say this: reading Luna and Scrivener's relationship reminded me way too much of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, and trust me, that's not a good comparison. Allow me to explain.

Somehow, some way, Scrivener is being transformed into a Tyrant Wyrm. I'll spare you the very long description, but just know these creatures are pure evil. While this is happening, Luna and Odin ( I assume is the same Norse God, but without his powers for some reason ) are in conflict as to what should be done about the transformation. Odin is all for killing the pony before he can fully transform, but Luna prevents him from doing so by injuring Odin. She then turns to face her husband and has this to say:

She laughed a bit, then closed her eyes and continued softly: “I love thee. Thou art my husband, my best friend, my soulmate, my... my everything. Everything we have done, we have always done together. And now, thou stands upon the threshold of a change but I want thee to know... it's okay. It's okay, whatever happens. I love thee. I am going to stay beside thee, and I am not afraid. As long as we walk the path together, nothing else matters... not what others think of us, not what the world wants us to be or do, not society, not even the gods or the Norns or anything else.

This actually goes on much longer, but I'll spare you. She sounds like a tween having a crush rather than a mature person. Now, this story spent the first couple chapters explaining just how bad these Tyrant Wyrms are, but Luna allows her husband to transform into one, not knowing if he'll be a monster as Odin fears? I'm guessing we as the readers are supposed to believe their love for each other is so strong it won't matter? Again, it reads like Twilight and needed way more buildup to pull that off.

This doesn't sound like love any more than Bella and Edward's situation, it sounds more like obsession. Not only does Luna not care that she may potentially be unleashing a monster onto the world, she decides she needs to kill Odin for trying to kill the monster her husband became. Later on, we find out Luna has an Earth pony brother who is almost her equal in battle as he tries to stop her and her now transformed husband, but lo and behold he gets beaten as well.

I was way too bored to read anymore, for I learned my lesson the last time I read this sort of "love" story. Again, though, to be fair, it probably has its fans, despite the problems, but I'm certainly not one of them.

Reading: The Rift

Six tags, two of them being Comedy and Drama? My hopes are not high for this one.

Reviewing: The Rift

Read: Two chapters

Status: Rejected

No, no, no! Bad Author! Bad! First of all, there are too many tags, two of which contradict each other. You can have a Comedy with dramatic parts, or a Drama with funny bits, but not both. Second, there's the description:

Somewhere, six ponies defeated a powerful God of Chaos. Elsewhere, six superheroes defeated a powerful God of Chaos. What will happen once their universes begin to clash, or should I say swap? WARNING: I have no idea where I'm going with this. Anything that resembles a plot is purely accidental. CRACK FIC.

Okay, this should be obvious, but a PLOT IS ESSENTIAL TO A STORY. It seriously reads like the author was simply watching The Avengers movie and just copied down whatever he saw, then threw pony labels on it. In fact, most of chapter two is simply a rehashing of the movie, with comments from the author that put to death immersion. I get that this part was supposed to be funny and there were indeed sections that made me smile, but as far as being swept into the "tale" I was left wanting.

I would suggest next time to not simply copy scenes from a movie and call it an MLP fic. This didn't work.

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You can have a Comedy with dramatic parts, or a Drama with funny bits, but not both.

I thought it was Sad and Comedy that couldn't mix, since you are literally unable to tag a story with both the Sad and Comedy tags on this site.

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I wasn't aware of the prohibition you mentioned, but I was speaking thematically.

Reading: The Changeling of the Guard

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It will be interesting to see what you think of this. I have been umming and ahhing about reading it for a while...

We got a two-fer today folks, so enjoy.

An It Harm None, by DuncanR.

Rating: 7/10.

Status: rejected.

This one was a really difficult decision. On the one hand, the prologue is completely jarring in both tone and content, and really should be a bonus chapter tacked onto the end of the story to help the confused parse more sense out of it as a whole, but at the same time the true first chapter is quickly and effectively engaging. The conflict is interesting, but the climax is missing at least two paragraphs of exposition to help the reader understand what is going on (There's letting the audience figure it out for themselves, and then there's just leaving them baffled. The only time you should go for the second is when you're writing horror stories about eldritch abominations.). The characters introduced have a bunch of potential and seem fully fleshed out, but it is never fully realized. And perhaps most importantly of all, the story ends at a point where I would say, "ok, first story arc is done, now to move on to the next," but the story is marked as complete, has no sequel, and doesn't appear to even have any plans for a sequel. It just stops: at a stopping point to be sure, but the story is not done. The prologue I mentioned before is the only way to fill in the gaps, and without it the motivations of the villains and witch and even more hole-riddled than they already are. It leaves the audience wanting more and fails to provide.

Ultimately, I have to say rejected. This story is one of those that has to have a sequel, or at least an epilogue tying up all the loose ends in order to be good, and not having one is a major problem. Ultimately, this story needs more time in the way Age of Ultron needed more time: it has missing pieces. I can tell it has the potential to be good, but it's just not finished, no matter how the author marks it.

Story: The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon, by MrNumbers.

Rating: 9+/10 (exact rating pending completion.)

Status: Accepted with honors.

An AU story with steampunk magitech, Pinkie Pie as Nikola Tesla, an Imperialistic Equestria ruled by a Celestia that never stopped mourning her sister and has warped the entire country as a result, and Twilight using giant lasers aimed at the moon flashing Morse code to flirt with Princess Luna before she comes home? Sign me up! The fact that this happens to be extremely well written, have even more fantastic character interpretations, and a bunch of OCs to boot is only icing, it would have gotten in regardless. As it is though, this story has earned a spot in the high quality section. Congratulations.

Reviewing: The Changeling of the Guard

Read: Seven chapters

Status: Approved

I am very happy to report I've found another tale worthy of the High Quality Goodfics folder! This is an amazing story full of depth, characterization and world building, and those of just three of its best attributes.

Idol Hooves holds a special place in Equestria. He's probably the only exiled changeling to serve in the Royal Guard, or at least, that's what he expects, as exiles don't really broadcast that fact. However, it's well known that Princess Celestia loves all of her little ponies, and her guards perhaps more so, and that makes it one of the best ways for a changeling to discreetly feed.

But how does a changeling even get there, let alone get exiled in the first place? For that matter, why would it ever go to Canterlot? Set a number of years before the series proper, before Luna’s redemption, Idol details how he was exiled, the ponies he’s met, and the series of misadventures that led him to joining the Royal Guard, and should continue a good ways into the series, as something of an alternate perspective.

Soon, he’ll have to deal with a boisterous new princess to serve and a royal wedding in the works bringing a third to power. Will his old instincts bring this new life crashing down around him? What precipitates Chrysalis’s ill-fated assault on Canterlot? Is it really so wrong for a changeling to enjoy good craftsmanship to an obsessive degree?

Now normally, I do not like long descriptions. To my mind, they should be short with just enough of a tease to hook the reader. Here we are introduced to the OC protagonist along with questions to consider even before the tale has begun. If this had been just about any other story this wouldn't have worked, but my subsequent perusal revealed this to be an excellent example of foreshadowing that blended well into the reading.

The changeling ( who has no real name ) is an outcast, a position which this tale tells us is usually a death sentence for a drone. But in further examples of world building, we find that the changelings of this tale can not only subsist on a variety of emotions, they are also carnivores as well. That's a good thing for this drone, as he finds himself trying to exist on his own apart from the Hive, and thus having to adapt to survive.

The author makes him a very likable and well thought out character, who's literalness reminds me of Lemony Cutewhistle from Obselescence's A Blessing in Disguise. While disguised, the drone's interactions with other ponies are some of the best examples of comedy I've seen in a long while.

But this is first and foremost an Adventure, and in this, the tale does not disappoint. Through his eyes, you will see the world of Equestria in a very different light, which is important as this story takes place long before the Mane Six. Normally, that is an uphill battle for an author to set his or her tale in such a time, as there are few established characters to help carry the tale. But this story has no problem with such, as each OC is injected with a personality all their own and I find myself missing each when they've played their part and moved on.

This is not only going in the High Quality folder, it is now one of my Favorites.

Hi, I'm a new reviewer.

Reviewing: Cyclosa.

Verdict: Accepted.

The portrayal of Celestia here was quite enjoyable. It casts her in the role of an older sister, doing her best to support her family. It's a good presentation, with Celestia trying to protect Luna in the mad world that they live in. Meanwhile, Luna is cast as a somewhat, young, scared girl. She looks up to Celestia, but being only seven years old, a lot of what goes on is lost to here- and that's done really well. Neither character is breathtaking or out of this world, but the way they are written does make you root for them and want to follow them to see if they succeed in their quest.

The main reason I gave this story the verdict I did, however, was the world. It paints a vivid picture of the world that they live in, with mechanical airships transporting ponies around, with Discord ruling as a god-king, Celestia working in a scrapyard for a living, and with alicorns as something to be feared and hunted. All of it blends together well, immersing you in this land far away from Equestria, wanting to discover more about it and what will happen to our players in this strange world that we've never seen before. That world is incredibly colorful and vivid, and it's definitely won that I want to read more about.