TA Tale of Two Apples

• Equestria Girls
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Drama

It was the Best of Trips, it was the Worst of Trips...

• Profanity
• Violence
• Apple Bloom
• Other
• Babs Seed
• Featherweight
• Tender Taps

The Blue EM2 · 7.3k words  ·  15  3 · 614 views

Summary: This story is a sequel to The Perfect Pear

A few months ago, Babs Seed travelled to Canterlot for the season. Now, Apple Bloom returns the favour with a journey to the Big Apple, to got on her own journey of self-discovery and excitement, all the while getting use to standing 'on line' and going up 'stoops'.

Initial thoughts: So what can I say? Babs seed was an interesting character Hasbro didn't really do much with after the initial espiode, and one other appearance. This story is about Apple Bloom visiting her cousin in New York. However, it doesn't really accomplish anything. EM2 spends most of the time in exposition of dialogue that just tells the reader everything, and wastes too much time with things that don't really further the development of the characters or the story in general. Hard pass unless you want to "read them all." 4/10

Characterization: Apple Bloom feels like she knows nothing about New York or the attitude, and if she and Babs have been writing for so long, how wouldn't she know this? Feels a bit out of character that she's so "shocked" and awed by New York itself. Babs seed seems solid, if a bit overdramatic with how often EM2 reminds us of her accent. 5/10

Grammar: Every story needs a basic structure. This story feels like a script play. Where most of it is dialogue heavy, and the descriptions don't further progress the story. The grammar itself isn't awful, but it could certainly use a more through look over. 6/10

Overall thoughts: Meh. I don't know how else to say this, but the story just provides nothing new or special. Leaves me wondering why it was apparently featured for a short time. Though, there is potential here. If the story could be repatched to be more of a family reunion without all the constant distractions. But no, we gets gangs, games, violence and a whole lot of just "why do I care" moments. So this story didn't do it for me. And I hate seeming harsh, but this story needs a total do over to be good. To EM2 don't be discouraged. Everyone fails. Even super talented bat ponies have failings, but we must learn from them in order to better ourselves. You can do better. Show me.

Final score: 5/10