Enever forever

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Slice of Life

Lightning Dust will never be a Wonderbolt.

• Lightning Dust
• Fiddlesticks

The Red Parade · 1.5k words  ·  257  12 · 2.8k views

Summary: Lightning Dust will never be a Wonderbolt. When she left the Academy, she swore she'd never look back. When the Washouts disbanded, she swore she'd forget about them.

Yet after all these years, against all odds, she finds herself here. At a Wonderbolts show. Just on the wrong side of the glass.

Initial thoughts: This is a story that tackles how Lightning Dust is fairing long after the events of the Washouts, and it handles the characterization of Lightning Dust so well, how she is bitter and torn about the cards fate has dealt her, but that she ultimately has to accept she'll never be a wonderbolt. This story is featured on Equestria Daily for a reason. Let's dive into this! Hold onto your hats, it might be a bumpy ride of feels. 8/10

What I liked: Everything.

What I didn't like: Length. I wanted more!

Heart of the story: Lightning Dust struggle is the heart of the story and if Red Parade doesn't sell this, then the whole story will be a mess, but obviously it succeeds, but what about it works? Well I can say as a fan of emotional impactional writing that this story wants you to feel bad for Lightning Dust, to sympathize with her, even root for her, even if you know way ahead of time that she'll never be a wonderbolt. This statement is mentions multiple times throughout the story, and it never comes off as repetitive or over the top. It wants the message to sink in. It wants you to cry, to weep, to truly put yourself in Lightning's place. You will never realize your dream, and boy, does it have a powerful impact here. 10/10

Characterization: Lightning Dust is the main character here, and the focus of the story, so how does Red handle her? With confidence that's how. I could see immediately from the opening line, this was going to be a story that made me cry, and hit me right in the feels. Lightning Dust characterization is spot on. Red handles how she would be after the events of the Washouts, and how she's adjusted to the life of acknowledging she'll never be a Wonderbolt. She'll never know what it means to be a hero among the Equestrian's, but she can accept that. She settled, and that's not a bad thing to show. It has a lot of weight and feels to it, and it certainly had me sniffling a bit. 9/10

Story/Concept: The concept is clearly "Lightning Dust's life" after the events of the accedemy and the washouts. What happened to Lightning Dust? I wasn't expecting her wing to be gone, and it's never really shown how that happened, but we don't really need to know for it to have a powerful impact. She'll never fly again. She'll never be a wonderbolt. 8/10

Originality/Execution: Flawless! It's hard to believe this was written for a speedwrite. The execution, the style, the prose. Everything in here is just Awestruck, and why haven't you read this yet? 10/10

Overall score and final thoughts: Red Parade knows how to tell a story, the way he weaves the details in just the right amounts gets you thinking, and makes you feel for whatever character he is using, and it always impresses me just how talented my fellow reviewers are! Kudos to Red, you truly are awesome.

Headpat worthy: YES. Red manages to draft a powerful and riveting tale of a mare that wanted to be the best, but never could, and has settled accepting she would never be a wonderbolt, but that doesn't mean she can't be proud of her ||daughter||
Boop worthy:
Meh! worthy:
Cringe level:

Final score: 8+10+9+8+10=45/50
9.5/10

To Red Parade: Man, what can I say? This is awesome, and it's a pleasure that you selected little ole me to review this. I hope you enjoyed the review and that it was helpful! Keep being awesome.

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Thank you for the review! Really glad you liked it!