Lightning Dust will never be a Wonderbolt. When she left the Academy, she swore she'd never look back. When the Washouts disbanded, she swore she'd forget about them.
Yet after all these years, against all odds, she finds herself here. At a Wonderbolts show. Just on the wrong side of the glass.
Entry into a Sofa and Quills Speedwriting contest, where it placed first! Written in the span of half an hour (time limit was an hour but I had to go early) with the prompts 'candy' and 'bittersweet.'
Edit: Featured from 4/15 - 4/17 2020, my first time in the box! Thank you!
"Highly Recommended" by Present Perfect!
Featured on Equestria Daily 5/28/20!
Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library. (Site blog 6/19/20)
Chapters (1)
Okay. Ya got me. I was thinking of how Lightning Dust would come back post season 9, and I think you answered it for me.
Gonna go cry a little now.
10183187
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! Figured I'd try my hand at a Lightning Dust redemption story in a different direction, glad it all worked out!
A very worthy winner!
As always your plot is excellent, twists and turns deployed for perfect resonance and impact. Your themes in this one are so bitterly relatable, but the pay-off so sweet. There wasn't a more on prompt piece than this in the whole contest!
You smashed it mate! :D
10183201
Thank you! Yours was amazing too! Thanks to you and everyone else for their feedback!
Shouldn't the title be Never Forever?
10183237
It's a stylistic decision I make often.
Great, now I want to see that movie again. I can only vaguely remember parts of it, and that somehow irritates me since its a part of my childhood.
Now, this is an interesting perspective of how Lighting Dust's fate may have become. I happen to have a deep interest in both Lightning Dust and Suri Polomare, mares that have been like a rival respectively to Rainbow Dash and Rarity. A shame they never got as much screentime in the canon story as compared to Trixie (who was initially perceived as a rival to Twilight).
Also, you seriously wrote all this in less than an hour!? That's like an impossible feat for me. I'm super slow in my writing and my scenes always appear to drag on but feel so necessary that I can't bother to cut any of them away.
This was an amazing short read, hears a thumbs up (and a like)! 👍
10183244
Thank you! Speedwriting is certainly a new challenge that I'm still getting used to, but I'm really glad that you enjoyed it!
Loved it. That's all there is to say.
10183258
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
This was deliciously bittersweet. Thanks for sharing it.
10183415
Thank you for reading it! Glad you enjoyed!
This was a really heartwarming take on a subject that can easily collapse under its own weight. The twist was spot-on, too. Thank you for sharing!
10183469
Hey, thanks! Really glad you enjoyed it!
I thought Star Dust was Lightning Dust’s sister at first.
10183952
Interesting! Thanks for reading!
Okay, I did not expect the reveal at the end.
You've managed to tackle a post-Wonderbolts (post-Washouts, even) Lightning Dust without the avalanche of melodrama that usually accompanies it; I'd say that's hard enough. That you did it believably and with a nice twist to boot makes for a good moral that should be shared and taught to everybody and for a Lightning Dust that ends up better and healthier. And you wrote this in half an hour? That's more than pretty good if this is the result!
Overall, a good short story! Keep up the good work!
10184354
Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
*sniff. sniff*
What? I'm not crying. No. No way. I refuse to admit I'm cry. Uhuh. Not happening. Nope. Never.
10184758
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I do not know why, but I am really mad at rainbow dash after watching. I must say I despise her now and I feel as though she does not deserve to be in the Wonderbolts. I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings😖
But the story was good with Lightning
10246484
Ok.... I'm sorry you feel that way? I mean, Rainbow literally is a background character in this story so I don't know why you'd bring her up.
Ya, sorry about that
oh shit man you got me
you got me real good ;_;
10253951
Woah... I really am honored that you liked this piece! Thanks so much for reading it!
this was so amazingly awesome, LD is my favourite Pegasi in the show
10257535
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
through
10258244
fixed
Applause for an excellent short story. Maybe I should give one of these speed writing challenges a go because I found myself nodding whilst reading your interview regarding this story that my writing tends to be based upon what I call "light bulb moments" I'll have great ideas and get some good scenes or dialogue, but then I start overthinking or get distracted or simply procrastinate and lose the muse.
Not bad. Not bad at all. But, ah...
Except for the whole "saved the world several times" thing. Pretty sure making sure that you don't have to live in eternal night/eternal chaos/under a changeling queen/under a magic sucking centaur etc is doing quite a lot for you.
Minor nitpick, and not one with the actual story itself. Just vaguely amusing.
Good one overall, though. Nice ending for sure.
10292364
Thank you! You really should try out speedwriting at least once, it's great fun and the community is awesome! Let me know if you want an invite to the discord server. Thanks for reading!
10292462
I do agree with this, but Fiddle means this on a more personal level: Rainbow Dash saved Equestria as a whole, but she's never really interacted one on one with her, and that's more in line with what Fiddlesticks believes in/her core values. If that makes sense. Glad you enjoyed it!
10292573
That might be kind of fun, I need to get off my lazy rump and take care of a few other things first, but if you want to hit me up with a link to a challenge, I'd love to give it a shot.
I'm really happy this got an RCL feature. The last two lines are just as electric as the first time I read it. Way to go!
10292809
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it enough to reread it ^^
Damn, you made me feel for her. Well done.
10295185
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
Lightning Dust may have done things she can't undo, but she can raise someone who will learn from her mistakes.
That is her ultimate victory.
Wow, this was impressive stuff. There was some subtle emotion undercutting the actions of Lighting Dust, specifically with how she felt about the chocolate box. And the repetition of her never going to be a wonderbolt only served to build towards that fantastic end.
In Lightning Dust remarking that the box is collectible, and worth something, she's saying that the memory and that passion of being a wonderbolt is to her. When she relents and eats the chocolate, she's bargaining with letting go of it. And when seeing her daughter make it as a wonderbolt, and not caring what happened to the box, she moved on from that desire. She didn't need to carry it anymore because her daughter did.
The pacing in this was nothing short of inspiring, and it carried the story right along evenly and kept me fully engaged and anticipating more. I loved this piece, and I can't really find any shortcomings but for maybe a bit of polish, but then, I'd just be pedantic for trying to fix something that isn't broken, or remotely close to being broken. I'm so happy for your success with this story, and proud of you for finding it!
10356765
Thanks Ruby! :3
Your analysis about the chocolate box was amazing, mostly because I didn't really intend any of that to have as much inherent meaning as I gave it, but death of the author and all that. Truly fascinating analysis. Really glad you enjoyed it!
10356709
Thanks! Glad you liked it! ^^
What were they fighting about? And, what were they so very close to giving up on?
Although you may not achieve your dream, you could help someone achieve theirs.
As much as I'd like to comment that a parent shouldn't live through their child... I really don't have the heart for it. This is a heartwarming read and I love it.
I loved seeing an older and more mature Lightning Dust without sacrificing her canon character of being reckless to the point of self destruction. The interaction between her and Fiddlesticks is nice and I absolutely love how the box they spent half the story arguing about is forgotten as soon as their daughter comes into view. It warms your heart, it really does.
Now I'm off to read the prequel.
Red you made me cry twice in one contest now this is unfair
Snow Quill brought me here a great little story.
This was a nice story. It was interesting seeing Lightning older and wistful, but being able to live vicariously through her daughter; and it was good seeing Fiddlesticks happily with her.
10446502
Or better yet,
forcegive your dream to someone else, and live vicariously through them! Hah hah!But seriously, I was impressed by this fic. Did you start this fic not knowing that LD's child becoming a wonderbolt would be her catharsis? It felt like you knew "LD's new life is important," but it wasn't really until the wing thing, and especially this part
that things started to come together.
The wing thing though, that was a really well placed move. Like, I guess the details all line up. First you find out LD's with an eath pony, and it's like, "okay?" Then she's Fiddlestick (and I definitely did not think her name was Cobalt after her hair while I wrote this comment) and she's LD's wife and it's like "Oh, uh, okay I guess?" and then they start talking and you see the kind of well worn relationship-ruts and how they pick up on each other's feelings and it's like, "Oh, yeah I see it!" Then LD's missing a wing?! And-- it's very well executed!
Also, I feel like I could probably go on for a while about this if I wanted, but can I just say how relatable this bit is?
Especially the "memories faster than ponies," thing. It really engaged with me, because I tend to wind up flying through my own mind during live performances like this.
I dunno, clearly this fic caught me at the right time. I'm really happy to have read it. I will say that the environment feels foggy at the beginning. I'm pretty sure that LD and Fiddlesticks were seated in a box, but I'm not entirely unconvinced they weren't just in a secluded part of the stadium.
My first impression of Fiddlesticks was that she was a customer buying chocolates from LD, and then that she was LD's boss? It got a little hectic before I sorted things out.
I should probably reread this with a little more sleep support me.
11269580
Honestly, I was so focused on the story that I didn’t notice.