If you can't laugh at anything, the world turns into a very dull place. Dead turtles, for instance...hilarious.
At the reading of his mother's last will and testament, Joseph Taylor is left a strange package. His only instruction being to protect the contents inside. Said items turn out to be nothing more than an old, empty journal, and an odd looking pen. What could be so important about such simple objects? But, Joseph will soon be given a rude reminder of the old saying, "Looks, can be deceiving..."
Edited by: SilentBelle
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This was really good for a beginning. Normally, i just ignore the newly posted stories, but something about this one caught my eye. Please do continue.
2739348 I agree continue please
Interesting. Very interesting. I can see you're doing quite well for just the first chapter. I'll be following this.
Oh, also. One piece of advice. Your entire chapter was pretty much one giant wall of text. Try to space paragraphs out, make it a bit easier to read.
good so far, would love to see what happens
Liking this so far, seem's to be better quality then the usual HiE
Not bad...
continue, sir or madame
Seems interesting, Ill give it a favorite.
This one caught my eye, have a fav! One thing though, since the beginning of the story it was from his POV, why was the narration saying 'Maria' instead of 'Mom', unless he called his mother by her name? I dunno, seemed weird to me.
...still think you should have gone with 'Travelogue' as the story title...
This is really well written. Good job. I'm definitely following this one.
This looks promesing, keep it up!
"I take an eye on this. Like a Hawk!"
"Pinkie? Get out of my Monitor! You shouldn't break my 4th Firewall!"
This is a very well made beggining, you followed a good the pace, charactization was spot on and wrote the beggining of the story in such a way to really attract the reader in. The length of the chapter was good too, in which by the end of it, I could not wait till the next chapter was made. I really cant wait to see how your going to handle this story.
Generic comment expressing my approval.
wow amazing prologue! d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net/images/cm-29490-050938f1f39e78.gif
I'm drawn into this story like light into a blackhole. In other words, I will not survive more than week without a chapter update, for reading great stories is my only weakness.
i thank this story is good so far.
A great setup for what is sure to be a great story. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter.
"My face adorns a puzzled look"
This should read: a puzzled look adorns my face. Also, adorn should be in past tense. Still, pretty good beginning to the story!
The only thing I thought it could use was a detail or two about what our protagonist looks like.
Fantastic way to introduce a story. I'm intrigued.
please add more soon
2739660
This. Line spaces after every paragraph is a must.
Interesting... I will be on the lookout for more chapters.
P.S.- I'm kinda hoping that the guy's dog came with him.
This looks really good. I have only two tips. Listen to the reviewers about the paragraph spacing. Makes it SO much easier to read. Second, Never touch Ponification of the MC. I.e. never turn your HUMAN main character into a pony, unless it is a temporary spell/potion. And only in small doses.
Ooh! Where is the rest? I'm serious, I want more!
Keep up the excellent work. I can tell you are a truly talented author.
-C. Storm
2743036 I have never in a million years considered turning my MC into a pony, first of all, and second, I do plan on spacing the paragraphs out in future chapters.
2743055 Oh thank Celestia. For some reason, there are so many who just have their human character hate humanity and want to be a pony. You are not one of them, thank goodness.
cdn.meme.li/instances/400x/24899208.jpg
and ''psst'' age of Joseph
too young bad too old bad mister you are in a trouble
2743143 Joseph is in his early 20's. I was planning on making all these things clear in the next chapter.
2743152 i think that 27 or 28 sre the best i mean
with 28 you have more possibilities to have:
-work check
-house (with dog) check
-older sister (married) check
-young and independent brother check
-a mother in hers 50's or 60's (young enouth to be a very sad death) check
elisaveth (or however you write it in english) 30
joseph 28
brian 24-25
Wow. I'm honestly surprised this caught on so well. Many times I see good stories go unnoticed. Congrats on being featured
2743485 Thanks!
2743036 I wish I knew a fic where the MC only turned into a pony temporarily....
want... more... interesting... concept...
2743754 Diaries of a Madman does that.
I'm assuming he is going to have the journle and pen with him or something. Now the question is what do they do?
2743754>>2743801
WARNING: Reading that fic
mayWILL cause the followingSleep deprivation
A severe case of the 'Da fuq' face
and 'da lolz'
Loving it so far, good luck with the next chapter!
This already looks like a good fic. Favorite and thumbs up now! I look forward to the rest of the story.
most original idea all month
Alright, now I wanna know what the f#@$ is going on and what does that journal have anything to do with it.
Pacing could be a bit faster but it's still good the way it is
Hope to read some more of this :)
2743919 they teleport the writer to the magical world of ponies my good sir.
This reminds me of "Myst" for some reason... An excellent book series as I recall...
Great story so far, can't wait to read more
2743919 Rewrite the universe? Anything he writes comes true?
... You have gone and left us with a giant cliffhanger, and with how well this is written I can honestly say I am going to be watching this. But as for that cliffhanger, thanks to your depiction of the main character's mother and only showing one pony so far I am honestly curious as to whether or not Maria (I think that was the mom's name) is/was Twilight. As a result of this, I can honestly say that I'm not sure if i should applaud you for writing so well, or throttle you for frustrating me so.
Can't wait for more this is an interesting start.
Right now my biggest question is if the dog got transported, too...
2746021 Well, if there was no barking after Joseph left, i'm assuming the dog went, too.