The Life and Times of a Bit Monger

by KarmaSentinal

Two different departures, but always the same destination.

The city of Canterlot, known as the jewel of Equestria and considered what a city should be was currently falling apart. The social structure that had stood since its founding nearly 800 hundreds years ago was splintering at its very core as the latest wave of gossip divided friends and family- the princesses Twilight Sparkle and Cadence were coming for a visit.

“DOOMED!” small crowds shouted in the parks and road corners to any ponies passing by willing to listen, which the magpies did.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna followed suit and had alerted their guards to the potential world ending event. Not since Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding had all four princesses been in the same place at the same time; it doesn’t help that the two newest princesses were ‘arguing’ to put it lightly.

Till this day Celestia and Luna hadn’t fully understood the whole reasoning and reluctantly had to stand back and let the two of them sort it out.

“Doomed!”

“QUIET!”

“Cease your howling and return to the yard whence you came!”

The Princesses commanded, watching and waiting to make sure the latest group of ponies disbanded before continuing their walk along the southern wall.

“This has to stop sister.”

“They are aggravating Celestia! Why must they shout all the time?”

“They’re just...I SAID QUIET.” Celestia shouted at a group of passing pegasi “We may have to send in the guard, Luna.”

“The guard won’t be enough. We’ll need the teacher’s guild and their substitutes as well, but I fear they won’t be able to write the time-out slips fast enough.”

“And all that paper, and possible hoof cramps, I feel the hospitals would be overwhelmed before too long.” Celestia added.

“Were it so easy sister.” the younger sister sighed, slumping her shoulders before perking back up. “Could we just feign availability for the week?”

“I’m afraid not sister.” Celestia stated knowing it was too late “Today was planned well in advance and to suddenly cancel would raise their suspicion.”

Luna fought against her desires to simply yell in frustration to avoid causing more of a scene; instead, she concentrated earth pony magic into her right forehoof and slammed it into the stone.

“Luna, STOP! We just had that wall repainted last year!”

“Sorry we are not. We regret the action a little, but not much!”

“Noted. Now, how do we handle their arrival without throwing them out?” Celestia asked.

The question left the sisters in silence as they had finally reached the wall that overlooked the main courtyard. From this height, the sisters could look over everything and by the amount of guards standing in formation below meant they had received their orders and were now waiting for the arrival of their ‘guests’.

A moment of brilliance hit Celestia, and after checking to make sure there indeed two of them leaned in to whisper it to Luna.

“Do you really think it’ll work Celestia?”

“ I do Luna. It has to work for our sanity.”

With that said, the sisters gave each other one final nuzzle before departing, Celestia gliding into the courtyard while Luna flying for the Canterlot Train Station.

---

The chariot had arrived on schedule carrying only Cadance to Celestia’s surprise, but nonetheless hid it as she greeted her ‘niece’ before the two of them left for privacy of the castle.

The two made idle talk to project the illusion they were busy and were not to be disturbed should a passing pony jump at the opportunity to catch their ears. This little talk and exaggeration of their movements only added to the scene of aunt and niece thrilled to be seeing one another until they reached Celestia’s Room before dropping the act entirely.

“It’s so good to see you again Cadence!” Celestia said as she scooped her ‘niece’ into a hug.

“It’s good to see you as well mom.” Cadence hugged back “ I’m sorry Shining Armor and I haven’t visited more often. We’ve been dealing with unions lately.”

“It’s alright dear, you have your own life and responsibilities that come first.” As they ended their hug, Celestia’s horn briefly flashed a golden tint followed by the distinct humming that meant a spell was being casted- Celestia released Cadance once the humming stopped.

“Now we can speak freely.”

Not needing to be told twice, a green flame engulfed the pink alicron to reveal a Nightmare Night caricature of a pony.

“That feeeeeeeels grrreaat.” Cadence moaned as she began stretching.

“Your carapace looks beautiful dear, you’re still washing under the plates once a day?”

“Yesss mom!”

“And your mane...” Celestia called out as she floated a brush over to them.

“... is fine!” Cadence claimed while trying to back away, but failed to escape the golden aura.

“No it isn’t. You’re not only a princess of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, but the CEO of one of the largest companies in the world and you must look the part.”

Too slow to teleport, and too weak to break the elder alicorn’s magic, Cadence resigned herself to the fate of having her mane brushed. An old hobby the pair used to do years ago when Celestia was just a little younger, and the Princess of Love was just a foal who enjoyed spending time with her mother.

“I missed this.”

“I as well, Cadence.” Celestia giggled as a memory came back “You used to rattle your carapace together every time I finished my duties early.”

“Not every time.” she grumbled, trying to hide behind some locks of her green mane.

“Every time! I would have to teleport both of us to my room before you engulfed yourself in fire.” Celestia began laughing the more she remembered, noting a few close calls.

“I was a filly!” Cadence tried countering but to no avail.

Celestia had raised Cadence (and Twilight to some extent) and knew the tricks and strategies.

She knew Cadence was simply embarrassed and felt any admittance on her part might alter this modern image she had constructed. Celestia knew this of course, and not wanting to sour their time together with ‘needless’ teasing changed the entire conversation to something more...practical.

“Braids.” Celestia started as she levitated the brush back to the counter top.

“Braids?” Cadence repeated the word as she turned around, seeking confirmation from her mother. Celestia nodded excitedly, even clapping her forehooves together.

Princess of Equestria, the Crystal Empire and CEO of C.E. Gem & Steam, Mi Amore Cadenza, found herself in a rare moment of meekness.

Ever since the ripe age of 12, Cadence had sought to establish herself as the ‘ideal’ princess; this ranged from noticeable personality changes to how she dressed in an attempt to resemble her mother. As in wearing her regalia and styling her mane to capture Celestia’s naturally flowing mane even if she couldn’t get her own mane to ‘flow’ just yet.

“I haven’t worn braids since I was foal.” she spoke, unsure what where this was going.

“I remember those days clearly. You would have the guards bring you to my room so you could wake me…” Celestia had moved to the vanity with two floor pillows behind her, dropping them directly in front of the mirror.

Taking the hint, Cadence followed her mother’s example and took her spot in front of the mirror. The golden hue of Celestia’s magic began working through the strains of her mane in preparation for the work ahead.

“...just so I could do your braids. Nopony else, but me..every morning.” Her voice radiated with the warmth of these precious past memories being relieved once more. Memories both alicorns used to cherish often.

“I was a filly, mother.” Cadence defended, this time with a little less certainty.

“You’re a grown mare, but you’re still my little filly.” Celestia countered as she grabbed the brush once more to work on the next lengths of mane.

Cadence didn’t notice. Something about the situation had relaxed her to the point of open reflection; an evaluation of everything buried and forgotten over the years, now only being rediscovered to the young alicorn’s regret.

So much had happened since the coronation and assuming the role of Princess of Love, that she could scarcely recall a time she wasn’t pursuing anything not related to work. The longer Cadance pondered, the more she…

“Done.”

“Already?”

Celestia nodded, taking a bit of enjoyment by observing Cadance’s surprise in the mirror. The ‘alicorn’ leaned closer to help magnify the image before her- she had to suppress a shiver.

Staring back was the reality she sought hard to escape. The thing staring back didn’t blink it's sickening green eyes nor did it try to hide the fangs protruding from the upper lip, or even try to hide the fact it wasn’t a pony.

The fire from earlier once more engulfed the creature in the mirror and herself entirely before giving one quick flash to reveal a pink alicorn staring back.

“Dear?”

“It's lovely mother.”

“Cadence, I…”

“Thank you.” Cadence cut her mother off with a hug an earth pony would be proud. “I promised Night and Velvet I would visit today.”

The moment she finished, was the moment the pop filled Celestia’s ears. The alicorn didn’t even need to look around for Cadence, because she could feel the distinct magical aura of a teleport.

She was alone.

---

The 1:45 pm train to Canterlot arrived right on time like it always did, at 2:00 pm.

The lumbering contraption of iron, and magic infused ley lines whined and hissed as it slowed to a complete stop. The faint explosion of steam forced the eager ponies trying to board back from the platform’s edge; another release of steam came from the engine’s top, creating a high pitched scream to signal its arrival and the passengers may disembark.

Standing by a set of pillars held the station's roof a deep, sea blue pegasus mare watched the spectacle with an awed annoyance.

The beast was loud, ugly in design, and required a specialized knowledge of carving ley lines just to power the thing! Its size alone is an eyesore to look at, and being nearly two Celestia in height made the train impossible to transport without using the iron tracks or a great deal of magic. Everything about the machine excreted wasted potential.

The wheels, she noticed, screeched every time it braked with the piercing intensity of a unicorn’s horn being dragged over a chalkboard. The constant need to pass steam left the air humid and thick making the whole platform reek of wet ponies as they fanned, or patted their fur to keep it from sticking. Added to this was the wailing whistle going off every couple of minutes, either seeking attention from the crowd or trying to warn ponies.

Whatever the reason, it only added to the assault of the senses which left the mare wanting to return home. But something about the construct left her feeling...excited.

“I want one.” the words fell from her tongue like a sour candy.

Ponies in drove exited their cages in mass, and onto the platform with many dispersing to every marked exit, leaving only a few scattered groups embracing some of the former occupants. Her eyes scanned the length of the train looking for any stragglers, before looking around the platform for her charges.

“I swear…” She whispered before removing the slip of paper nestled between her left wing feathers.

On the pristine piece of parchment, the impeccable scribble of her sister said “2pm, platform 2”.

She looked up and found the platform had thinned out even more leaving a few employees milling about.

‘Did they miss the train?’ The thought immediately crossed her mind, but was held back only by her knowledge of who she was waiting on.

Realizing she’ll have to search for them, the pegasus had taken one step from her vantage point between the two pillars when she caught new ponies in her peripheral vision. Standing in between the pillars next to her where the three ponies she was looking for, the two zony foals crowded their mother’s legs as the stares of what few ponies left increasingly bothered them.

Their mother returned these stares with vengeance.

“Shame.” she thought as she approached, noting the feeling of magic being summoned the closer she got.

“We’re not bothering anypony standing here.” the harshness took the pegasus by surprise, she’ll have to ask about that later.

“We see that, but confess perhaps you had missed the train?” the unicorn’s head twisted slightly at the phrasing, but the magic floating around them remained at the ready.

“That’s none of your concern ma’am.” Her horn even flickered.

“Indeed, the concern is ours to bear for my sister and I would be upset.”

“Wait…” the magic in the air began to dissipate as her muscles relaxed, even the foals seemed less distressed.

“Hello dear Twilight. We have not seen you in some years, and…” She glanced at the foals “... assumed you were busy.”

The comment would have gotten an amusing reaction from the unicorn years earlier, but becoming a mother and founder of the leading company on magical applications required some degree of maturity.

“Try carrying twin colts for 321 days while running the fastest growing company on the continent.”

“Try it while founding a nation.” she couldn’t help but smile at the ‘one upping’ she had just delivered.

Twilight’s body relaxed as her muscles loosen, abandoning the defensive posture. She stood a little taller since she wasn’t crouching protectively over her foals, who noticed the sudden change in their mother and started leaving the safety of her legs. Luna gave them a smile, and it sent them scurrying back behind Twilight’s legs.

“They’re not used to the attenti...strangers.” She changed the word quickly, but not quick enough to hide it.

The disguised princess didn’t address this feeling no need to ‘air’ any matters in public. If Twilight didn’t want to speak of such matters then she wouldn’t pry needlessly where she wasn’t wanted.

“Not unusual for their age, they will learn as they grow.”

“Of course.” Twilight’s response was so low, it was nearly a whisper.

“Reminds of my own foal, Trotting Line. He always knew when and when not to cross the line of no return.” Twilight’s ears swiveled up, interested in this new information.

“You were serious?”

“Why would I not?”

“I just..well, I never read nor heard of Celestia and you having foals.”

“The birth was long ago for us, and for records to survive we would be surprised. Sister is another matter- she eludes our own questioning.” Luna realizing they were still very much in the station briefly reversed her disguise to create a silencing bubble around them.

Even with the bubble now surrounding them, Luna still felt the need to lean closer to whisper the information.

“Cadence.”

“Cadence?” Twilight repeated, her ears flattening some in response.

“Yes, Cadence. She is my niece, but I know so little of her conception.”

“Luna. The foals.” Luna nodded.

“Indeed, the foals are beautiful, but this is about Cadence. I know not of her sire.”

A lapse is created when Luna (still in disguise) averts her attention to the sudden influx of ponies making their way onto the station platform, and Twilight Sparkle didn’t ask any questions.

With the rising numbers of ponies came the glances and hushed conversations about the half breeds, forcing the unicorn to cast her own glares once more. This worked, forcing the ponies using their hall to create a berth between them until the ponies practically hugged the opposite wall.

Luna noticed this and mixed with her own unease of crowds declared it was time they returned to the castle to relax and continue the visit. With no reason to stay, Twilight agreed, taking her place by Luna’s side at a slower pace to let the two colts walk safely between her legs.

Twilight felt the residue of an used spell, but only for a split second. Whatever spell Luna cast, she was thankful for it because the stares and whispers that had harassed her family finally ceased.

Comments

[Vaguely Demented]

10297592
Yeah I could see her passivity leading to this. I dread to think just how annoying they would have to be to trigger some of her reactions.

[Vaguely Demented]

Kind of want a picture of Luna as a rail baron now.

[KarmaSentinal]

10298112
Ha! There some some things about modern life Luna finds fascinating if only on a intellectual level, and the concept of trains is one such concept. Only second to the idea of crystals that 'summons' another pony's image to allow communication between the two.

But I can assume you're enjoy the story so far?

[Vaguely Demented]

10298997
Yes. The oddities of crazed capitalism and the adaptations of the characters to fit that mold are interesting.

[KarmaSentinal]

10299445
Glad to hear. This story will be short, and end once each of the Elements have their own chapters followed by two or three to wrap up some things.