Let's face it.
Matt Miller, AKA R4gn0r0k, pretty much has the world at his fingertips. He leads the Deckers, a group of highly intelligent hackers, and is part of the Syndicate, comprised of the Morningstar and the Luchadores.
But it seems that a genius can't catch a break when his computer fizzes out and sends him sprawling into Equestria, which he considers a nightmarish technological backwater at first glance. And if he thought that was bad, his body has also transmogrified to that of a unicorn's.
AN: If it wasn't obvious enough from the cover art or the description, this is a crossover between Saints Row the Third and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I do not own MLP nor do I own Saints Row.
Chapters (2)
(SR4 its going to be awesome!)
Keep up the epic work my good sir.
Wow...just...wow...I can't find any spelling flaws at this point, you've hit Matt Miller spot on, and I'm throughly enjoying every word of it. If you're looking for harsh words then I'm not your guy.
Four mustaches and a Rainbow Dash for you:
It's all just cut and paste to me, and story progression, as well as character integration is way too forced, you just grabbed a bunch of your favorites and jammed them in as quick as you could.
As far as Matt's personality and how well you've done it... I wouldn't break out the champers if I were you. Matt Miller was not in the spotlight for a very long time so he doesn't have a very deep character or back story, and he would probably be a bit more exciting if he chose to be opposing towards the ponies. After all, Matt is the leader of the Deckers, who - as any SR:TT player would know - are a third and vital part of Steelport's top criminal organization (not including the Third Street Saints).
So to break it down: There is nothing to be proud of with you interpretation of Matt Miller. I'm pretty sure he would not be pleased about turning into something from a little girl's TV show after coming from a blood and lube soaked world. The only characters that be a fulcrum from which to judge your skill would be any but Miller, and so far they too are plain dull.
To sum up your first two chapters I would have to say that they are boring and rushed. There is no depth, there is no excitement, and there is nothing drawing me in other than the promise of an interesting and unused protagonist.
Sometimes when considering the plot of a story you have to think hard about what would realistically happen, and not end up writing what you want to happen. (E.g. [Matt throwing a fit over becoming a cartoonish, cutesey, miniature horse, and constantly being difficult when around other ponies.] As opposed to your current direction of: [Matt turns into a pony and is fine with it and he makes new friends and meets Celestia but thinks Luna is so much cooler bass cannon poniesarethebestyay.])
Also, deleting a comment like this (even a negative comment still counts as a comment) would be an act of cowardice, immaturity, and the unwillingness to improve.
I've had such things happen in the past. May god have mercy on their souls...
I also JUST noticed that my avatar is missing her horn. Odd...
2880877 Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I was trying to stick to Matt's pre-existing personality and completely screwed it up by saying that he's fine with it. Something in the back of my mind told me that it wasn't going to work, what with Matt's 'superiority complex' towards others when he's behind a computer. I admit that I've done a pretty shite job at writing the chapters to begin with.
Unlike the stuck-up twelve-year-olds that (unfortunately) plague this site, I never delete comments, good or negative, that advise that I do better. Even comments that are brutally honest about whether I've done a shitty job or not. Constructive criticism or criticism in general is something I value in others. I may (most likely will) give the chapters a once-over and rewrite it completely from scratch, even if the revised editions contain some of the elements used in the original rendition.
So thank you for your input and I shall take it into consideration. Good day.
I like very much!
Sh*ts gonna get real when VS sees his Dubstep gun.
A FANFIC OF MY FAVE SAINTSROW GANG
2889696 Oh, believe me, my friend. It will.
2892122 I AM WORTHY OF M.BISON'S 'YES'ING. I am also a fan of the Deckers, my friend.
2880293 Thank you for the Dashies and the moustache, I appreciate it. Stay tuned for more Matt Miller goodness.
2880258 Yes, I knew throwing that in there would stir some trouble. I'm getting the 'Super Dangerous Wub Wub Edition' just for the hell of it. And I shall, stay tuned.
Very nice, I wait patiently for more
It's like the opposite of my play threw of saints row IV
Is there ever any chance of us ever getting another chapter? I just found this, but I couldn't be any more hooked if I tried. Plez, moar...