The Changelings have been defeated, and all is well in Equestria. However, no one has thought about what happened to the Changelings that fateful day. Why did they attack? Are they really as evil as they were made out to be? Randy's about to find out.
((My first fanfic. Hope you enjoy!))
how realistic are we going for equastria here? the it not that great as it made out to be by bronies or the mlp show events is right at some part and wrong on others? life not a cartoon or is this story going for it a bit? just curious is all...
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I'm going for a more realistic Equestria, but that's not important in this story. We're taking a look at how the Changeling society functions in this story, or at least how I see it. But don't worry, you'll see Equestria. Eventually
Wonderful job so far
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Thank you
great so far
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Thank you Alright, confession time. I kinda whipped up Chapter 1 on the fly Glad to see everyone thinks it came out alright I was afraid people would think it was crap
This story has all of my YES!...Well not quite ALL of my yes but atleast maybe a good 90 percent of it....im not saying theres anything wrong with the story its merely that i need to keep some of my yes to survive,but if i could give it all,i would...Anyways,Keep up the good work
Hey Jeff, just looked at your story and before reading, I looked at the desc... RANDY?! Okay, it's not an often used name and all names begin sounding generic when in school you have 5 Erics and 3 Jessicas and 2 Raymonds and whatever have you. But Randy? That just sounds like the name of a high school bully who secretly has a rose garden and loves kittens. Anyway, about to read. Positive outcome is bound to happen. Just you wait.
Keith... Damnit Left 4 Dead 2, now all I can hear is Ellis when he takes an adrenaline shot. Anyway, onto chapter two. Can't wait to see what happens when he wakes up in a hive filled with hole plagued ebony insectoid equines. Then their queen will bitch at him like it actually means something. NEXT CHAPTER!
Nevermind. I guess he's just gonna look like Joshua fucking Graham. Now all he needs is to memorise the bible, have a philosophical voice, wear a kevlar vest, and load pistols for eternity. Oh, and I demand moar. [Insert Moar Krabs Picture Here] or this.
HOLY POTATO PARTICLES!
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Thank you.
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Well, moar you shall get, mein Freund
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... I honestly might just have to use that sometime
3065113 Ey Jeff, can ya hop in the chat? I know that the comments section of your story isn't the best place to ask but we can talk more there.
Can't wait to see how this will turn out!
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Neither can I Honestly, certain parts of the story just pop into my head as I'm writing, so not even I know for sure what this story shall hold. But don't worry, I do have the general plot planned out, so it won't descend into madness!
I don't know if you meant it, but the Changling Razor Wing is from the story The scent: lust of mares
by Distorted Flare
and I can't wait for the next update
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... Pinkie?
Yeah?
What did I tell you about using names from clopfics?
Use them whenever possible?
Dang it Pinkie!
((No, it was not intentional. I had no idea that name had been used in another story. I feel like I have to change his name now And thanks for the feedback! ))
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Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that Chapter 2 is finished! Or at the very least I ran out of steam for that chapter Anyway, it's around 4,000 words, and I need pre readers. Bad. I only have one right now. If you send me a PM, I'll give you the access key so you can take a look at the chapter! Just be sure to give your thoughts on the whole thing once you finish reading it
3067963 I would if it wernt for how easily entertained and amused i am,Usually im absolute CRAP at pre reading and unless you have absolutely NO ONE else to do it,Im not really a great choice.That said if you need me ive got time
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Someone likes my story
Hmmm... you have captured my attention. Follow, but no like yet. I need to read a bit more first.
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Alright. I actually have the second chapter done, but I'd like another pre reader to take a look at it before I publish it.
should not be in italic
ok now is time for the review:
The story is at least not so "Marry sue". i found it original on certain part and i might like it. The only thing who does not make sense for me is Chrysalis. She is know for being evil, for be THE one who defeated Celestia but i feel like you will make her.....good I mean why would she care about Randy! She barely know him....
But we all have our headcanon and you earned a new reader.
(p.s) I saw you need a pre-reader, i could do it if you want..
P.s.s Sorry for the grammar but iphone i do not want to put effort in comment when is the morning and i did not get my coffee.
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If you do not have a pre-reader for the next chapter I can pre-read that chapter. However, I am a rather busy person so I couldn't be a permanent pre-reader. If I had the time I would do the whole story as you put chapters out, but time is something most people don't have very much of (especially with school starting again soon).
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YES YES YES YES YES!!! I'll send you the password right now Now, onto business.
1) Italics indicate the character is thinking. "Chrysalis wondered" shouldn't be italicized, and shall be fixed.
2) No, I am not making her good, nor am I making her out to be the evil queen everyone thinks she is. I am simply envisioning what the hive went through after Chrysalis was defeated, and her motives for such an attack on the most powerful nation on the planet.
I'll explain the rest over PM if you're still curious.
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*nods* School started for me today AND FIMFICTION IS BLOCKED ON THE SCHOOL WIFI Kill me
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I would, but that
1) Goes against the Brony law
2) Would mean I don't get more updates on this story. I want moar first
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*whimpers* Yes, master...
go check your A/N
I find this to be a nice change to the usual changeling being evil. it shows a species so desperate that they have had no choice. Love and tolerance my ass ponies are the exact opposite bunch of racist xenophobic cunts. Very good will being watching this always watching
Changeling Stories are quite possibly my favorite stories. The have the most room for worldbuilding. They are often well written and stories of this kind makes me love it even more. Chrysalis is by far my favorite of the "villains" because her motivations can easily be interpreted as entirely justified which is what makes her often complex in fannon and probably my favorite non-main character In fannon. Suck it Celestia and Luna.
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Fixed
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Eh, I wouldn't call the ponies racist. Chrissy was out of options this time around, as the only country she never negotiated with was Equestria. She wasn't about to risk banishment from there, as the ponies were her last source of food on the planet. The ponies didn't even know the Changelings existed But anyway, THANKS FOR THE FAV
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Well, there's also the zebras, and the griffons, and (however the buck you spell it) the draconequus. and probably a few other races that have yet to be revealed to us. And LUNA AM BEST PONY But thanks for the Fav
OH MY GOD IM CRYING!!! Keep it up im really looking forward to see where this goes.
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I know that feel bro And thanks for the fav
the tears of a child can even bring a strong and cold heart man to tears at the sight
When will there be a new chapter?
more plez
that end.
Just fyi, non-story chapters are against the rules. Make a blog post and tag the story, it'll have the same effect.
Is this story dead? I would like to read more.
I don't think that's something someone would write on the diary. I mean it sounds more like something you would narrate.
Don't these demand like an hour each at least? Or more? Sounds pretty impossible. Most of the time professors spread these.
the expression is educated guess so it would be uneducated guess I believe.
I think this is blown out of proportion a bit though I can see what you mean.
Holy fuck...
Yea... that's like half the universe. But I get it. You'll have to delve deeper into this tho.
I am not saying this is true... but give me a reason to suggest they are. In the show is it shown anywhere?
Also unconfirmed. Nobody said they only eat love to survive. But this and the telepathy are small faults.
Bieber not Beiber
Well to be honest while Chrysalis looking for food is plausible she could have just asked... I dunno if that happened in the show I bet they'd give them love in the instant. But you know... delve on that. I will be watching.
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Natural amount of sulfur that would kill someone is found mostly ((according to what I know so far)) volcanoes. How is Randal protected by this?
I think the POV changes should be replaced with narrative.
I think that narratively Chrysalis should had witheld the changelings's past actions so the Griffin King could remind her. She could claim they are innocent and he say "I don't trust you...".
That tearjerker moment tho.
It seems as if this fanfic is dead, a shame that it is. This deserves to be continued and finished.
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yea