50 - Epilogue
Most of the ponies from Ponyville came to the yearly talent show. It was time for the last performance of the day. The anticipation could be felt in the air. Nopony was fully at ease.
Many had tried to visit the talked about filly in the hospital, but the doctors had been firm and had only let her closest friends and relatives visit her. It was to be their first sighting of the infamous one after the notorious event at Friendship Rainbow Kingdom castle.
Behind the crowd was a shrouded figure. Red eyes squinted under the gray cloak. She argued with Zecora. At one point, the latter jerkily waved a hoof at her, then thumped away. The hooded figure lifted her head, revealing a grin under a nasal bone.
At the very edge of the front row sat Binder Strap. He hugged a small restraint jacket in his lap. His eyes glanced at the gray, hornless Unicorn beside him. “She’s not well, no matter what they say. They only get worse after the first phase. You remember how you were before the electroshocks, don’t you?”
Cast Achiever tensed his muscles. “If magic abuse is on your mind, the mental health cannot be found.”
“That’s right. Her body is cured of ill magic, but without electroshock therapy, I doubt she’ll ever be docile.”
Also in the front row, but on the opposite side sat Twilight. Her wings were still wrapped up in white dressings. A small crossed bandage covered her cutie mark. With her eyebrows pressed together, she focused on the stage.
“Is this the last one?” Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack. “I don’t think I can stand much more of this sitting on my plot. After the disappearing tail trick I performed yesterday, this is literally torture for me. Do I even need to be here?”
“You told Scootaloo you’d come,” Fluttershy commented. “Her heart would break if she saw you fly away.”
“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash responded, crossing her forelegs on the chest then quickly put them back on the seat to distribute some of the weight off her plot.
Diamond Tiara crouched on the ground before the front row. “Why did they even let her perform? She wasn’t in school for days,” she said to Silver Spoon who was perched beside her.
“Shh!” Rarity whispered loudly through her teeth. “It’s about to start!” She clapped her forehooves in anticipation then suddenly perked up her ears and turned to Pinkie Pie. “Deary, can you please do something about your tummy rumblings?”
“I’ll ask it to stop really nicely, but I can’t give you a promise. It’s more of a talker than a listener. I fed it candy before I came here. It usually likes that. Something must have really upset Tum-Tum to make it act up this way. Ever since I got here, it’s been growling like crazy.” Pinkie Pie pressed her muzzle to the tummy and whispered to it as she softly stroked its sides with both forehooves. “I’ll soon feed you cupcakes. The special kind.” She winked at it.
The curtain waved then spread open, revealing the stage to the audience.
Sweetie Belle slowly walked to the center of the set. She had a rolled-up paper strapped to her forehead, representing her horn.
Glancing across the large crowd, she gulped her saliva then spoke loudly, “Oh, I have so much to do. Schoolwork, magic training with a local magician, chores at home and hanging out with my friends. There’s no way I can get all those things done in time. I wish there were more of me.”
Scootaloo, dressed in a tight black bodysuit, firmly stepped forth. When she walked behind a cardboard bush her hoof hit a hurdle on the floor.
“Auch!” Apple Bloom yelped from behind the bush. “Watch it!”
“Sorry.” Scootaloo swallowed and looked at Sweetie Belle. “I can grant you your wish.”
“Who are you, stranger?” Sweetie Belle took a step closer, putting a forehoof above her eyes. “What are you, mysterious creature?”
Scootaloo crouched down and Apple Bloom, dressed in a tight, white bodysuit, stood up. “I can be you.”
“Oh, gosh, a changeling!” Sweetie Belle sat down, covering her head with both forehooves.
“You are right to fear me because I will now take over your life and make everypony hate you because I’m evil like that.” Apple Bloom picked up a lasso in her muzzle and swung it over Sweetie Belle.
The rope failed to hook onto the filly Unicorn and fell to the ground around her. She quickly lifted it up with her hooves and tightened the noose. “Oh no, you have trapped me, and now I cannot stop you from hurting my friends.”
“Mua-ha-ha!” Apple Bloom exclaimed so hard that she coughed, earning uneasy looks from Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. She swallowed and continued. “I will now go make you look bad in front of everypony.”
“Nooo!” Sweetie Belle raised a hoof toward the shapeshifted changeling, but quickly retracted it when she remembered that she was supposed to be tied down.
“I shall now leave you here to be trapped while I do my wicked evil. Mua-ha-ha!”
“Nooo!”
Apple Bloom turned around and walked behind the curtain.
Sweetie Belle tried to crouch away, but her forehooves got tangled in the rope. She dropped down and slid herself across the floor to the other side of the stage, pushing herself only with her hind legs.
Scootaloo bit on the edge of the cardboard and tried to drag it away. After a jerk, the makeshift bush fell on the floor, revealing her to the audience. She stood there, mouth agape. After a few moments, she flapped her wings and slid out of sight, leaving the mockup bush behind on the stage.
Sweetie Belle pushed a table on the scene. A paper vase lay on it.
Disguised Apple Bloom walked forth and looked around. “This must be her home. I will trash it and everypony will blame her for it. Mua-ha-ha!” She walked to the vase and knocked it off the table. “Mua-ha-ha!”
She pushed the furniture off the stage where Sweetie Belle crouched, hiding.
On the opposite side, Scootaloo walked from behind a curtain. She was adorned with a fake, white beard and a gown that covered her body. On a hoof, she carried a book. “My apprentice, is that you? You look a little evil.”
Apple Bloom walked across the stage. “Yeah, it’s totally me. I am your apprentice you’ve been expecting. Don’t question this.”
“Okay then... I have an important book for you to read.” Scootaloo the magician said. Glancing at Twilight in the audience, she added, “Not that other books aren’t important...”
“Give it here.” Apple Bloom stated firmly.
“Okay then, here you go.” Scootaloo extended a forehoof and Apple Bloom bit on the book.
Scootaloo slid backward off the stage. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom walked to the middle and lay the book from her mouth to a forehoof.
“Mua-ha-ha! I will not even read this book. I will, instead, throw it away.” She fearfully glanced at Twilight in the audience and carefully laid the book on the floor. “Mua-ha-ha, I’m so evil!” She walked behind the curtain.
Sweetie Belle plunged on the stage. The rope was still wrapped around her. She struggled with it for a while without saying anything. By the time the enwrapped captive managed to pull herself out of the binds, she perspired. “I… I managed to break free.” Under her breath, she added, “barely…” The exhausted filly clambered on all fours. “I need to go save my fragile reputation now.”
She ran behind the curtain. A moment after, she jumped back on the stage. “I just came.”
Somepony choked then coughed in the audience.
“I’m at my home now.” She placed both forehooves on her cheeks and sat down. “Oh, no! My home is a mess. That is bad. I need to tidy it up to increase my good reputation score.”
A table from before slid on its previous spot.
Sweetie Belle walked from side to side, looking around.
When the sought after vase flew at her from the backstage, she turned to Apple Bloom behind the curtain and whispered, “Better late than never.”
“You’re welcome...” came a response from the hidden pony.
The vase was different from the one that was used before. It consisted of colored paper, representing glued parts of the one that had been shattered. Sweetie Belle picked up the paper jar and put it on the table. “There. This priceless, ancient artifact was broken before, and now I made it even better with the power of mystical gluing technology. It’s more than whole now. All is good.”
She pushed the table out of sight then jumped back out. “Oh, there is a book lying on the floor. That is bad. I should read it because that’s what books are good for.” She opened it in the middle and stared at it for some time.
The silence grew ever thicker as Sweetie Belle kept reading the book on the stage.
Somepony sighed in the audience. It wasn’t long before the sighing spread out like an infection.
Scootaloo, adorned with a white beard and a gown, walked forth. “Ahem!” She waved Sweetie Belle to come closer.
“Oh...” Sweetie Belle closed the book, snatched it with her mouth and ran toward Scootaloo. She laid the book before the magician. “I read it whole. I totally did!”
“Okay then.” She reached out with a hoof and patted Sweetie Belle on the head. “You have outgrown me, powerful and mighty apprentice.”
Apple Bloom crouched toward them from one side of the stage to another, in plain view of everypony. The shiny, white fabric she was adorned in didn’t help with the camouflage.
Sweetie Belle glared at her. “Couldn’t you go around? Ugh!” She jumped up and down on the spot, trying to redirect the focus of the audience from Apple Bloom to herself.
When the displaced filly finally made it to the curtain at the right side of the scene, Sweetie Belle hopped toward the center. “Yay! My fragile reputation is now saved.”
Apple Bloom jumped out of the curtain. “You have disturbed my evil plans, and I don’t like it when you do that. I will now perform my revenge against you.”
As she jumped back, Scootaloo in the black, tight dress jumped in her place. “By using green, changeling magic, I will cut off your horn now.” With her teeth, she picked up a jade hula hoop from behind the curtain and aimed it above Sweetie Belle’s head. By jerking in an arch with her neck, she threw it forth.
The hula hoop hit Sweetie Belle’s chest. “Ouch!” She pressed a hoof on her sore spot. “Watch it!” After glancing toward the crowd, she clenched her teeth. “Um… Oh no! You have hit my horn with your evil magic. And now I am without my horn. The stump also hurts a lot, which makes me a victim and not a rule breaker.” She reached with a leg on the top of her head where the rolled up paper was strapped on. As soon as the hoof touched the cone, it detached and fell to the ground, revealing the stump on her head. “My horn is gone.”
“Mua-ha-ha! I will go away forever now, and you won’t be able to revenge against me.” Scootaloo jumped off the stage.
Sweetie Belle sat down, looking at the curtain. “Come on...” She nervously glanced at the audience then glared back at her friend, clenching her teeth from the anticipation.
Scootaloo finally managed to put on the beard. She walked on the stage and slid a hood over her head. “Don’t feel bad, my apprentice. Everything was messed up before, but you at least tried to fix it, and you also got hurt in the process, which scores you bonus reputation points. Me and everypony else won’t hate you anymore because of that and because you don’t seem so very evil anymore.”
“Thank you!” Sweetie Belle said.
Scootaloo continued, “It is best that we forget all the bad that has happened and live happily ever after from now on instead.”
“Yay!” Sweetie Belle jumped in the air, clapping all four hooves together. She flew high and crashed low behind the curtain. Scootaloo slowly walked backward, biting her lip.
The stage went quiet. A coughing sound emanated from the crowd.
Sometime later, Sweetie Belle peeked from behind the curtain and limped a few steps forward. “Um… That’s all we have.”
There was silence among the gathered ponies.
Twilight recovered from all the facehoofs she’d been giving herself during the performance and looked at the surrounding crowd. She sighed and forcefully clapped, without changing her serious face. Her hooves pounded against each other in the midst of the deafening silence until one by one, the rest of the ponies gradually followed suit. Some clapped their hooves together while others thumped them on the ground.
The clapping spread among the confused ponies, but there was one in the back row, who seemed to be immune to the social pressure. The black pony with the red mane didn’t clap. He just shook his head and trotted away.
Cheerilee walked on the stage. “Attention, everypony. The winners of this year’s talent show are about to be announced. All performers, please make your way to me.”
She waited for the foals to gather behind her. “Due to this year’s low participation, we’re only giving out the reward for the best performance. The winner takes it all!”
“Just one?” Apple Bloom turned to the other two.
“It’s all good. We wouldn’t have a chance at the comedy act this year, anyway. Nopony laughed.”
“We’re definitely better than Snips and Snails,” Scootaloo said. “Those two did the same trick from last year. They even failed at it the exact same way.”
“And here are the results, ” Cheerilee continued. “Among the three teams, the winning one is…”
Foals on the stage gasped from the anticipation.
“Twist, for producing candy before our very eyes.” She pulled a lollipop from somewhere and put it in her mouth. “Quite delicious, if I may say so myself. Give it up for Twist and her sweet tooth!”
“We lost.” Apple Bloom said as she bowed her head.
“I thoughs you were zhe best.” Twist said to the Cutie Mark Crusaders as she stepped to the front of the stage.
“And here’s your medal, Twist. You deserve it.” Cheerilee swung it over the filly's head.
The crowd applauded.
“Sank you!”
“Thank you, Twist and thank you, audience,” Cheerilee continued. “If I had known that so many visitants would come, I would’ve had more chairs set up for you all. Join us again next time, and you all have my word that nopony will be left standing.”
The crowd stood silent.
“That’s all, everypony. The show’s over. Trot safely.”
The crowd slowly dispersed without causing much ruckus. Most were lost in their pondering. With their gazes fixed to the ground, they walked on the main road through Ponyville.
The three fillies disappeared behind the curtain. “Don’t worry girls, there’s always next year,” Sweetie Belle said.
“It’s easy for you to say,” Scootaloo raised her voice. “You already have your cutie mark.”
“I wish I didn’t.” Sweetie Belle sighed and bowed her head. “The stupid cutie mark doesn’t even represent any of my talents. It’s supposed to be for my proficiency at magic, but I can’t even cast any spells at all. I wish I could hope for something cool like you girls can. I also miss the crusading and—”
“Actually, Sweetie Belle…” Apple Bloom interjected. “We want to talk to you about that.”
“Of course you do...” Sweetie Belle’s eyes shied away as she sighed.
“Oh, it’ll have to wait though.” Apple Bloom gazed toward the edge of the stage. “Applejack is getting anxious to hug me. It’s a thing we have…” she excused herself and ran off down the stairs. “I’ll catch you girls in a bit.”
“I’ll just put our props together in the meantime.” Scootaloo sighed.
“And I’ll just…” Sweetie Belle started but got interrupted.
“That was truly marvelous,” came a voice from under the stage.
Sweetie Belle looked at her sister. “Your dresses were tight.”
“Ugh...” Her mother tried to clamber onto the stage. “The costumes weren’t the reason why everypony clapped, Sweetie…” She pulled herself up and clambered on all fours. “Whew.” Her eyes turned back to Sweetie Belle. “You are.”
“I concur,” said a deep voice behind Sweetie Belle, walking up the stairs of the stage.
“Daddy!” Sweetie Belle ran toward him. “Did you like the show? Did you like it?” She jumped up and down in front of him.
“Your mother and I enjoyed it very much, along with everypony else here. You did well, Sweetie.”
Cookie Crumbles leaned down to her daughter and gave her a kiss on the stump. “Go join your friends now. Tell them to meet us all at Pinkie’s.”
“What will happen there?”
“Can’t tell. It’s a secret,” her mother whispered.
“There wasn’t any get together for our last show.”
“It’s not about the show, Sweetie Belle,” her dad snickered as he turned to the stairs.
“What is it about then?”
“Well...” her mother said. “I’d tell you that Pinkie Pie is really glad to see you back and that she’s been baking cupcakes since the morning, but it’s a secret, and, honestly, I shouldn’t be telling you anything at all.”
“You and the herd can go on ahead. Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and me have to clear the props first. We’ll meet you there.”
“You promise?”
“I promise, mommy!”
“Don’t make us wait too long, okay?”
“Okay. There are a few props we need to take away, and I want to talk to them about something for a bit. We’ll be there soon. ”
“If you need any help, I can…”
“Just go!” Sweetie Belle pounded a hoof on a plank.
“Alright, alright... Don’t forget, though! You gave your word, missy.” She turned around, took a step forward, glanced back, then jumped off the stage. “Stage dive!”
“Mom, there’s nopony there to” — Sweetie Belle cringed when she heard a thump — “catch you...” Biting her lip, she slowly backtracked to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Sorry about that, girls. It seems everypony wants to check up on me. I haven’t been alone for even one moment since I woke up in the hospital. It’s like nopony trusts me after everything that had supposedly happened.”
“Speaking of trusting you...” Apple Bloom drew closer, pushing a closed box on the floor toward Sweetie Belle. “Scootaloo and I already talked about what you did.”
“You talked about me, without me?”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You lay unconscious in the hospital…”
“Oh, right…” Sweetie Belle bit her lip.
Apple Bloom continued. “You quit the club yourself. We couldn’t just make you a crusader after that.”
“I’m sorry that happened.” She bowed her head.
“Yeah, we hoped you’d feel that way,” Scootaloo said.
I bowed my head.
“It’s not out of malice,” Apple Bloom jumped in. “We needed to be sure you weren’t still messed up. We figured that if you could put up with us until the end of the talent show, we’d know you’re alright. We also needed to hear that you actually wanted to be in the club.” She raised an eyebrow.
“I do! I really do!” Sweetie Belle turned her head and glared at her flank. “But I have this useless cutie mark now…” She hit herself on it.
The other two fillies smiled at each other and slid the box at Sweetie Belle. She stopped it with a forehoof and cocked her head to observe it from different angles.
“You’re right.” Apple Bloom said. “You can’t be a regular Cutie Mark Crusader anymore.”
Sweetie Belle clenched her teeth and bowed her head. “I understand.”
Apple Bloom pushed the box even closer. “That’s why we decided to offer you the position of an Honorary Cutie Mark Crusader!” She opened the top of the box. There was a clothing inside it.
Scootaloo reached in and lifted the Cutie Mark Crusader cape. It spread out before Sweetie Belle, leaving her breathless.
“It’s your old one, but better. I cleaned it up for you.” Scootaloo proudly tapped herself on the chest. “ I even had to use some soap for the stain that was near the edge of it—”
“Just give it to her, already.” Apple Bloom facehooved.
Sweetie Belle sat down and reached out with both forehooves, gracefully accepting the gift from Scootaloo. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. Both of you. Thank you!” She swung it over her body.
“Welcome back, Honorary Cutie Mark Crusader Sweetie Belle.” Apple Bloom said.
Gasping, Sweetie Belle pulled the string from one side of the cape under her neck and pinned it to the buckle on the other. She looked at them with open mouth.
They were both smiling, and so was she.
“We should celebrate this!” Sweetie Belle said. “And it just so happens that there’s a party in town and we’re all invited.”
“Oh, you already know about that,” Apple Bloom smirked.
Scootaloo snickered. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ve already packed the props. Wanna help me lift the box to the cart, Apple Bloom?”
“Sure,” she responded. “Right after I get myself out of this tight clothing. It itches as if I had sand in my coat.” She rubbed one foreleg against the other.
“I know what you mean.” Scootaloo puffed through her nostrils. “I just want to rip the clothes off to get myself free of it.”
Sweetie Belle pointed to her saddlebag at the backstage corner. “I’ll just neatly fold the cape and put it in my saddlebag. Celestia forbid if I get a stain on the uniform after you spent so much time cleaning it.”
“Good thinking, lots can happen at the party,” Scootaloo said while she walked toward a big box with the props, stripping her clothes off on the way. “Rainbow Dash promised to teach me the disappearing tail trick, but warned me that things could get messy fast.”
Sweetie Belle turned around and whispered to herself. “Good. They accepted me. Now I only have to prove to them that I’m worthy of their trust.”
“Did you say something, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom glanced back.
“Um, no, I was just—talking to myself.”
“Oh, um, okay...” Apple Bloom turned around but held her forehoof in the air, not making a single step forward. With eyes half-closed, she looked back at Sweetie Belle.
“What?” Sweetie Belle faced her with raised eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”
Apple Bloom took a step toward Sweetie Belle and cocked her head. “Hug?”
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Comment section minigames for the Epilogue of the story Sweetie Belle Gains a Soul. Anypony can play them in this comment section of this story.
GAME 1
Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- Chapter of the story that this song is relevant to.
- A link or embedded Youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- A reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics.
GAME 2
Record yourself reading this story aloud. Upload your mp3 to MLP: Audiobooks, for instance, and paste the link to your audio or video in the comments.
Is it not a little speciesist if we think that a group of changeling are reformed? Is this how they want to show their friendship? By telling that one specie is evil?
9822173 I think you're going to have to be a bit more specific where you see specieism.
In this novel, some changelings have transitioned into new shapes, but some are still loyal to Chrysalis. In this story, the 'evil' kind of changeling interacted with Sweetie Belle.
These changelings aren't looking for friendship. They're looking for love to suck on. And it's much easier to proclaim your victims to be monsters, else you end up with a morality dilemma.
They all lived happily ever after. The end, or ¿is it?
9822766
True, most of them are still loyal to Chrysalis, but the tale is making it seems like ALL the changelings are bad or evil. Surely having a group of changelings being 'reformed' should be something to remark. While most of them are evil, there are also some good.
9822827 Achieving one's dream is only one way to victory. Another is crushing said dream. The result is the same: Yearning subsides.
9823294 Good changelings are mentioned:
As you see, there was a time when all changelings were good. But then individuals in one hive gave love instead of taking it, and now some changelings are bad.
9823402
Yes, but I mean in the last chapter, the theater work, looked as if all changelings are the same
9823864 That's how Sweetie Belle interpreted her jumbled memories. Or at least, that's what she wanted everypony to believe.
And the theatrical show was enough of a disaster even without Sweetie Belle trying to explain 50 shades of changelings.
9837228
'Innit?
Hi Bad Dragon. I am currently reading this story like I said I was. Normally, I would have already been done reading it, but this story is really difficult for me to get through each chapter for a multitude of reasons which I will explain once I have actually finished reading. Now, I am still going to read it, as my stubbornness and determination is egging me on, but I am taking longer reading this than normal. I am currently in the middle of Chapter 15
Unfortunately, I am not caught up with all of the canon, (I still have season 9, and episode 17 up of season 8, along with EG material. And due to the recent airing of the series finale, I am going to take a break from the fandom for a while until I am caught up with canon, so as to avoid spoilers. I hope you understand that I will not have forgotten about this story, I am merely taking precautions.
Until I come back,
VShuffler42
9885147 This story takes place after the show, but it doesn't involve any spoilers except for MLP The Movie and the show up to including season 6.
Even if you read the whole novel, you will see no spoilers of EG, the comics or Season 7, 8 or 9.
Care to give me a hint or two about these reasons even before that?
9885243
Well thank you for your reply.
Even so, I'd rather try and avoid them completely on the site.
I can't explain everything since I have not read the whole thing, but so far here's a small bit:
It deals with the way it is written. It is nothing bad, the way you wrote it does its job very well, but its job has some negative side effects. The best way for me to describe is that it is similar to a school textbook, but it's written as a fictional novel, and it is written by a pessimist.
It is hard to get through but it presents its ideas very well. I can't really explain it well, but that's how I feel. The way it is written drives me away but it leaves enough intrigue that I want to keep reading — I simply can't read it quite as fast as I would other things.
Hope this explains things,
VShuffler42
9885318
How can you tell that a writer is a pessimist?
Do you think it could have been written in a way that wouldn't drive you away without losing any of the positive effects that this story has?
Is this because I write beige and don't use many descriptions, or something else?
9885753
Now, now. You will get your all your answers eventually.
I don't have any sort of basis on whether is actually pessimistic or not. I will explain what I mean by this when I am finished, as it will give me time to find the right words to explain what I mean.
I don't quite understand what you mean by this.
This particular part was only an analogy for this story's "hard-to-get-through-ness". Yes there are some descriptions that aren't very, well, descriptive..., but I recognize some were purposely meant to be this way.
You know what, let me just explain that everything I have said so far is all intertwined together. I will give you a full review when I am done reading it. 'Till then, just sit tight, 'right? When I say it is hard to get through, I am not lying, it is difficult to read through, but that does not automatically make it bad. Trust me, this is a misconception I have sworn off. I am going to read it, but your are going to have to wait a little bit, understand?
I'll be back
VShuffler42
9726952
Sorry for the long wait but I lost track of this story a while back and eventually found my way back. Nice to know it's finished now! First, with minor things left out I believe I was getting this one mixed up with another story. And about it never making it out of development, I thought this iteration of the story was going to get taken down as well for being so similar (can't remember what happened to the original though). I said it was stuck because I saw a massive gap between the most recent chapter (at the time) and the last one and interpreted it as a reduction of chapters per week. I thought the story was slowing down to decreased interest, time, etc. Now I look at the chapter release times and I see that's not the case.
Hope that answers your questions and I hope to see more from you!
The hard work you put into this really shows! The transition from a lighthearted story to a more serious one is not as abrupt or forced as many others tend to be, and I must commend you on that part.
10035035 I don't know of any similar story. Except maybe the hidden chapters of this story that are published as a separate mature story.
The development never slowed. I just stopped releasing after the first 2 chapters because I wanted this story to be perfect at release time.
I'm glad to have you back as a reader.
10035066
Yep! Going to read the whole thing soon, working on another story at the moment. But will stay tuned in to see what comes next and finish this!
10036222 If it's not too much trouble, I'd love to hear your impressions when you finish reading my novel. Any feedback is always appreciated.
10036599
Ok, I will keep a note to provide my impressions on your story when I get to finishing it. In the mean time, I hope you thrive as an author!
10089258
The Saddle Row
10316054
I understand!
so reading thi stories description does not tell me much. Does she become evil or something?
10383651 Evil is such a dirty word. Sweetie Belle is the main character of the story. You get to watch her on her journey along with her character-growth. Small things that used to captivate her make way for the grander things. In the story, her goal even shifts toward the book that made Twilight an Alicorn. But can she obtain it?
10383651
she gets possesed by sombra
10448772 Possessed is such a dirty word.
10448941
puppet to her horn
10499388
I mean, you referenced this so I could get a sense of the magic in FiM. Lots to choose from.
10499408 Let me know if I can be of any more help to you.
10448941
I think the tragedy tag should be added to this story because unlike most stories this triumph over evil isn't shown to be a cause for celebration. It is instead framed as a melancholy event. Melancholy because twilight failed to save sweetie
10526774 Maybe a 'bittersweet' tag would be in order. I think tragedy would be more deserved if evil would triumph.
A true victory would feel unrealistic to me because there are no true victories in RL. But it's victory enough. Even Twilight's plot started pulsating, indicated that she solved the friendship problem. So, the map seemed to have thought that she did save Sweetie Belle. Just like everything else in life, it's complicated.
10526875
if I remember correctly there was no cutie mark signaling don't push your luck it was a horrid story
10527088 I guess you have no choice but to read this story again from the start.
You know, if you want, you can listen to it instead of reading it. There's a Youtube reading of it now:
10527329
you're a horrible person it seems in this universe the constant that is Harmonia is as evil as the rest
10527857 Yes, I am a horrible person, but I'm not sure how that relates to our discussion.
This story should have a comedy tag added to it. Because Sweetie Belle makes it funny.
11085295 One of my greatest fears as a writer is that what I write is boring. So, if there was an opportunity, I tried to add some humor to it.
I can't add the comedy tag because it wouldn't let me because it's not compatible with the adventure tag. But the thing is, Sweetie Belle is on a quest; it's not meant to be just some slice of life, and the adventure tag represents that.
Tell me, were you surprised when you found out who the gained soul was?
11085328
Oh. I'm on Chapter 16 now...
11085409 Happy reading. Let me know if you have any more thoughts. Your comments are always welcome.
11085418
Thanks, and I sure will! :)
11086012
You're welcome. :)
11086713
:)
I did hope Sweetie would take over Ponyville and defeat Twilight for good. Anyways, I loved this story, and can't wait to get started on the sequel!
11086934 Well, I do like to subvert expectations. She probably could have if she wanted to. She could have become the ultimate power in Equestria but at a price.
11087121
It's better.
11087122
I was wondering, could I make a different ending for this story? One where Sweetie Belle takes over Ponyville?
11087120
Oh.
11087873 Sure thing, go ahead. Let me know when you write/publish it. I'd love to read it.
11088030
I sure will! Thanks! :)
11137877
Maybe the ponies were right to fear Zecora and attack Zebraica for stealing its coal.
11137878 Is that a reference to a comic or a story? I'm not sure I'm familiar with it.