Spike finds Twilight hanging from the rafters. He then begins the rather arduous process of getting her into the ground.
---
An idea that just popped into my head a few months ago. I finished it last night.
Suicide in real life is very serious. Don't do it. There are help lines and people you can talk to.
This wasn't funny at all. That was very cruel
WHY TWILIGHT WHYYYYYY
3242130
To each his own. I'm well aware how weird this one is.
3242208
For SCIENCE!
I'll have to admit, the ending got me. Very well written, a fine balance of dark comedy.
3242245
To any normal person, they would have wondered what a dark and twisted mind you have... To me, I think I rather enjoyed it.
...no.
The story was well-written, but...
I...
I just...
My brain is fried.
3242208
Apparently Equestria didn't take the news of a fourth Alicorn very well.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/034/3/1/annoyed_princess_twilight_sparkle_by_teammagix-d5tqm41.jpg
SCIENCE!
So she basically keeps respawning? I guess that means the only way to truly kill an alicorn is either with the moderator's sword of banishment, or the hacker's assault rifle of account deletion.
Even though Twilicorn's far from immortal in the show, I find this a great read and definitely worth a favorite should it continue.
3242829
This isn't really respawning. Generally when you respawn, you re-appear in a specified area. In this case her body just comes back to life right where they left it.
3242978 But it's still re-spawning to a degree. In some games, I usually end up re-spawning in random areas.
3242400
Thanks!
3242401
3242454
I had a reputation amongst my older school peers and teachers for writing stories on ... interesting subjects. Both of you present the common reactions: "Actually Pretty Funny" and "No, Just... No."
3242401
I'm fairly certain that I'd be locked up somewhere if my mind's predilections became well known.
3242454
No worries, I've had that reaction myself on certain things.
3242578
Well, "everypony" would technically include herself...
3242650
SCIENCE!!!
3242829
Nightmare Moon survived a no-atmosphere environment for 1000 years. I think it's rather hard to kill them.
3242849
Sorry, but this is just a one-shot. I have a few other stories (one currently being written, one that's going to be worked on after the first one's done) that you could probably check out, though. And thanks!
This has happened dozens of times, and Twilight still hasn't figured out that she can just teleport out of the grave.
I just... I don't... How could...?
Thank you for writing this.
Reminds me of "Celestia's Big Day", by Fiddlebottoms. Just as darkly hilarious, even has an alicorn committing suicide. Only Celestia can't actually die, like Twilight in this story. Her body just gets more and more damaged (it has a "Mature: Gore" rating, so that gives you an idea on just how much damage she takes over the course of the story).
3242997 Not quite. Respawning is when your body appears somewhere completely different from your death point after death. That does not happen here. Here her body comes back to life a certain period of time after death. That is not respawning, that's coming back to life. They are two completely different things.
You, sir, have the most despicable, dreadful, awful sense of humour I have seen in a long time
I think I might just like you
3243037
3243105
Well, teleporting out might mess up the test results on how dying affects her physical and mental functions. Or something.
3243106
No problem. Glad you enjoyed it.
3243126
I'll have to check that one out. Thanks!
3243437
Flattery gets you nowhere, but I'll take the compliment.
Oh, and this is VERY tame compared to some of my other stuff. Just sayin'.
I finish the story and the ad at the bottom is to help find grief therapy.
Combined with this story, I'll admit, it made me chuckle.
Anyway, nice bit of dark humor
3243729
Google knows...
And thanks!
Mmm... Them's some good feels.
Twilight can be so derp sometimes.
Like n' fave. I'd point out errors, but I didn't see any.
3243849
Thanks!
AH dying.
Don't even get me started.
Ah, what I wouldn't give to have this Twilight as a friend..., she should go work for the Spike show 1,000 Ways to Die
*insert evil laughter here*
I found the basic Idea a bit predicable (especially during the corpse-checking and the CMC sequences), but the execution is flawless, funny and entertaining
on a side note, if the deadpool-like healing factor would be canon, I'll definetivelly see Twilight do this kind of experiment
Cute. Dark, but cute.
I actually had an idea for a little something to slip into a story should I ever write one, in which Twilight wants to make a return visit to the Astral realm where she got alicornized and Celestia reveals that the only way to get there is to die (as she did when Starswirl's Last Spell overloaded her). Alicorns just happen to be uniquely able to come *back* from there. I would have expected Twilight to come up with a suicide spell that completely vaporizes herself, though, to save Spike the cleanup work. :)
3245252
AH? Is that an acronym? (Not meaning to be rude, I'm honestly confused).
3245475
She's more interested in experimentation with death than dying in unusual ways, but then again she could probably use the money for other research.
3245590
Thanks!
I only wrote this because I got the idea of Twilight killing herself and nopony really caring, then my brain filled in the 'why' with 'well she's immprtal, she's done it before and comes back every time.' Then I realized that Twilight would actually probably do something like this just for the experience/information on death.
3245621
I don't think she could come back from a single cell; Spike was checking her over for broken parts because she can only really come back from the dead, not heal any injury.
Though that Astral plane idea is quite interesting. If you think you can work with it, then go for it.
3245657 Yeah, I wasn't making suggestions about how alicorn suicide should work in your story, just musing about my own somewhat-vaguely-related idea. I figure she makes a whole new body for herself when she comes back from the Astral, considering she seemed to be completely vaporized the first time she went there. At least, I didn't see any bits of her strewn about the library after she exploded. :)
3245745
Oh, yeah, that's perfectly fine (and makes quite a bit of sense, assuming as your idea does that one is required to die to reach the Astral). No worries.
Funny. Though I called it at Spike's facepalm - you got the whole 'ritual' feel down from his actions and that gave it away somewhat. Still, a bit funny they used Tom.
EDIT: This needs to be featured damn it.
3246861
*heart attack from popular author comment*
Yeah, I wanted it to appear like they were somewhat used to this, or at least entirely prepared for it to the point of callousness.
Glad to see I could get a laugh.
Ha... ha... Wow. Twilight's so bored...
Yes. Yes. This is definitely my brand of comedy. Bravo good sir. I could totally see Twilight doing this and Spike getting tired of it.
3247422
Less bored, more curious about something that doesn't pose any risk to her anymore.
Then again, I doubt she'd do this as repeatedly as she has if she had anything else to do.
3247773
*dear Faust two big authors in one day aaaaaaugh*
Well, she's immortal now (presuming that all alicorns are immortal, of course). What else to do but test the varying ways to die?
And thanks!
Well, she does need to get empirical evidence as to the proof of immortality...
3248831
*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
Basically, yeah. It's already known that alicorns are immortal (per Celestia's and Luna's ages and NMM's stay on the moon) and Twilight wants to fully investigate the bounds of this; whether "immortal" really means "unkillable".
Of course, if she demonstrates that alicorns can be killed, she's not exactly going to be around to realize it, but since when has that stopped SCIENCE?!
3249395
Oh sush and suck it up. I'm not a big name author.
Maybe an itty-bitty medium tier author, maybe.
3249408
If you're medium tier, then what am I with one-tenth your viewership? (I'm low, I'm aware, but you shouldn't sell yourself short, buddy.)
Seriously, you wrote a story that has more views than the combined population of the three towns closest to me. Add that to Scootamom's TvTropes page, and you're a big author.
3249684
I'll give you a hint;
I may or may not have partially cheated.
This is the second story I read that's like this. Twilight has some real issue and would probably do something like this. At least Spike got her to stop.
3257175
I don't think she has issues (on this front at least). She's a curious mare, and death really hasn't been empirically tested from the point of view of someone personally undergoing the process.
It's a whole new field.
this reminded me of that time i read a story about celestia trying to commit suicide. she ended up getting processed and fed to changeling larvae before reforming. good times...
3276508
Oh my...
3276533
it was pretty hilarious. i don't remember where i saw it though...
3276545
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/59796/1/celestias-big-day/suicidal-failure
3343968
Yes! Thank you so much!
Maybe she should try Highlander style and cut the head off...
Cool story.