The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch

by Dusk-Spark

Ch. 12: "This life has its ups and down, but it's my wonderful life."

She got back really late at night, carrying a sack of letters around her neck. She dropped the sack in the living room, intending to properly read and sort it all tomorrow. She noticed a dark figure illuminated by the moon's light in the kitchen.
Was it a zombie?! She mentally smacked herself, ENOUGH WITH THE ZOMBIES ALREADY! Berry carefully crept towards the figure by the kitchen table, about ready to strike. But stopped when she heard the slow, steady breathing of a sleeping Cheerilee.
She flicked on the light with her tail; the kitchen light eliminated the sleeping Cheerilee sleeping upon a pile of tests, letters (including one that could only belong to Big Macintosh) and...photo albums? She thought about waking Cheerilee, but hesitated. What if she yelled at her? What if Cheerilee was really mad at Berry, could she really handle the scolding she was probably due for? She could just go to bed, put it off until tomorrow. No. No she couldn't. She was a grown mare, and she made mistakes that she should own up to. Isn't that what she'd been teaching Pinchy?

Don't run from your mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but the important thing is not to dwell on them.
Instead, learn from your mistakes.

Okay yes, she did try to cover up Drunk Berry's mistake, but at least she learned from it (and that lesson is don't let drunk berry handle important task)! Baby steps! Two out of three! Passing grade!
She sighed and shook her sister with one of her fore legs. Berry realized she needed to be the good sister here and bring her back up to her room at the very least. Berry had woken up from sleeping at a table before, and it was not a fun experience.

Roused from her sleep, Cheerilee's eyes drifted towards the softly smiling face of Berry Punch. Without warning, she threw her hooves around her sister. "You idiot." Cheerilee muttered under her breath, locking her sister in a tight embrace.

Berry could do nothing but pat Cheerilee on the back, "Sorry." Berry noticed that Cheerilee had been looking through albums of the two sisters during their foalhood days. There was one when the leaves started to fall, Nightmare Nights long past, Hearth Warming Eve celebrations, visiting relatives, daily adventures. Cheerilee had taken a sad and lonely trip down memory lane. Berry felt like crap for making her beloved older sister feel this way.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." Berry lent Cheerilee her side as she guided the drowsy older twin up the stairs to her room. "Listen, I did some thinking on the way back. I don't think I can ever be completely free of drinking, plus I really don't want to. Hear me out, I think I should practice balance. I don't want to go cold turkey, because I know how that's gonna turn out. But if I keep drinking like I do, well...I might end up in a worse situation in the future. So, I'm gonna practice moderation. I know, it's a small thing...but I think it counts for something at least. Right?"

"...Berry."

"Yeah?" Berry opened the door to Cheerilee's room.

Cheerilee walked to her bed, turned to Cheerilee and said; "I'm glad you're home." And then fell on her bed, going straight back to sleep.

"I'm glad to be home as well." Berry shut the door to her sister's room, letting her sleep in peace. Well, that was painless. It wasn't over yet though; there was still one last stop she had to make.

---

She lingered in front of Pinchy's door, would the little filly be angry at her? Would she be glad she's home? Would she hate her for ruining nightmare night for her? Maybe this was a bad idea, could she handle a life where her daughter resented her? She sighed. Now or never, better to get it over with quickly. The door creaked open as Berry Punch looked into Pinchy’s room, seeing the little filly tucked peacefully away.

“Pinchy?” She silently called, but there was no answer. Like a ninja pony, she silently moved to her bedside. She sat next to her daughter, and stroked the filly's rose-colored mane with her muzzle.

“Mmmm.” Pinchy stirred, with a dazed look she stared into the eyes of her smiling mother.
“Mom?” She said while half-asleep and then she immediately threw her forelegs around her mother and buried her face against her mother’s side. The soft sound of her sobs echoed throughout the room.

“Sorry Pinchy. Mama‘s okay.” She said as she lovingly nuzzled the filly’s mane, tears welling up in her eyes. “Hey, hey, come on now. Don’t cry. Mama’s just fine, see?” She pulled away from Pinchy just a bit so she could see Berry’s smiling face. Berry frowned when she saw Pinchy’s tear stained face, puffy cheeks and red eyes, she’d been crying before, "Mama. You're crying too."

Berry raised a hoof to her eye, sure enough she was, "Yeah...I guess I am." Berry couldn't hold it in anymore, I'm so sorry, Pinchy." She said a little louder than she intended! Berry must’ve ruined her night. Stupid impulsive pony. She didn't deserve to be this filly's mother, she made the most important pony in her life shed tears because SHE wanted to hide her own mistakes rather than own up to it. She hated herself for that. Once again, she was unsure if she made the right decision. What's done is done...

Pinchy just hugged her mother tighter, "It's fine. Just...please don't go away again. I was so scared that you wouldn't come back! I-I was mean to you, and I broke our tradition and I..."

"Shhh, shhh, shhhhh." Berry hushed her little filly by lovingly stroking her mane, "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here when you need me, I promise. And I really mean it, this time. Pinkie Pie promise!" Berry wiped her own tears, then put a smile back on her face, “Now come on, smile for mama. Please?”

Pinchy tried her hardest to smile through the streaming tears, and then buried her face in her mother’s side again.

“There there. Tell mama about your night, you know…before I ruined it.”

“You never ruin anything, mama. I…I love you.” She said as she hugged her mother tighter.

Berry tried to fight back the tears that were reforming but this was a losing battle, “I love you too, Pinchy.” The two ponies just sat there for a while, hugging out their feelings. They talked for a bit, told stories until Pinchy started feeling tired again.
“Mama.” Pinchy called to her mother as she stood in the doorway.

“Yes, Pinchy?”

“I love you.” She had said that a lot during their conversation, as if not saying it enough times would make Berry want to go away again.

“I love you too, Ruby Berry Pinch." She kissed the little filly on her forehead, "Now rest up, my little pony.” Berry said softly while closing the door. She felt…happy. For once in her life, she didn’t feel like a complete screw up. And she was very likely going to screw up again in the future, but she'd deal with those when they came. Right now, she knew the most important pony in her life loved her. And that was all that mattered to her. As long as Pinchy was safe and happy, Berry could live as the screw up. As long as she had Pinchy's love, Berry could go through this wonderful life of hers with a smile on her face.
Pinchy was Berry's most precious, irreplaceable treasure after all.

~Fin

Comments

[Dusk-Spark]

3421461

So glad you enjoyed it!

[Dusk-Spark]

3447460

[Hungryman]

A wonderful story. And the title wasn't lying: this story does have all aspects of of Berry Punch live and shows it with all it's big and small daily troubles, unawaited joys, mundane bother and philosophical questions which appears from time to time on her path. And all of this in a one day. That's amazing. You managed to give a full picture of a very usual pony (if to compare with the mane six, who are saving the world practically on a daily basis) in a really unusual way, and it turned out very catching to read! And all of it with never-to-be-forgotten drunken humour.

This story needs more love (and promotion as well). If you are reading this, please, recommend this story in some "What to read" thread or something.

[Dusk-Spark]

4108611

This brightened up my day quite a bit.

[Bad_Seed_72]

So I just finished reading this story today

First, some constructive criticism.

I noticed some odd formatting choices throughout the story, along with a bit of an overuse of both bold text and the ellipse ( … ). There were also a few instances where paragraphs should’ve been split up, and I think one where two speakers (Berry and Pinchy) were in the same paragraph. Additionally, the indenting/spacing was a little wacky. It’s best to either indent all your lines OR have a blank space between paragraphs. If you do both consistently, you leave too much white space; if you do both consistently, it makes it a bit odd for your eye to follow.

However, all of this formatting stuff is mostly me being nitpicky and aesthetic; it is all easily fixable, if you choose to do so. Grammar-wise, I think I spotted a missed period (lol) here or two, but nothing glaring. Your perspective and general prose was pretty good.

Now to the best part: the plot. (Isn’t the plot always the best part? ) This story was absolutely hilarious! I had to stop myself from giggling a bit too loudly in the breakroom several times! The running jokes were great, the drinking contest (and subsequent narration shift) was fantastic, and, all-in-all, it just made me laugh.

But I wasn’t so much laughing at Berry as along with her. She has a good heart, and though she’s made some mistakes (and continues to make them, never trust Drunk Berry), she’s a good mare. Her friends, sister, and daughter were all perfectly in character, though that’s a bit odd to say when you’re talking about background ponies or side-characters. However, the fact that I can say it and believe when I say it means that you established their personalities early on pretty well and solid, and they all stuck to it. Kudos!

Finally, the budding relationship between Berry and Noteworthy was super-sweet. I would have loved to see more of this, and more of the wonderful life of Berry Punch in general. If you have a sequel planned, I can’t wait to see it!

Do you mind if I promote this story? It really deserves more love!

[Dusk-Spark]

4180076

Yeah, my formatting is a bit... odd. Old habits from my previous pastime. ^-^a
I was thinking of revisiting this story later down the line, maybe adding some chapter art, redoing the cover, and going through it again to fix up some of the more glaring mistakes.

I don't have a sequel planned, unfortunately. I tend to avoid doing sequels for various reasons. But... I guess if something is requested enough, then I might consider it. No promises though, I've still got a laundry list of stories I want to tell before I get into sequels.

By all means, promote away~

[Soge]

Hey, I wrote a review for this story. It can be found here.

Overall, I found it to be a funny fic, although it could certainly use quite a bit of polish. I love your interpretation of Berry Punch and her drunkenness.

[Dusk-Spark]

4800509

Oh. Thanks.
I just read it and, it was a good review. Not harsh for the sake of entertainment, but not kissing the ground I walk on. It pointed out the good and the bad in equal measure, keep up the good work.

Yeah, you're right, I probably should polish this story's writing up a bit in the future. Maybe give it some chapter art and a new cover since that one up there is... meh, when compared to what I can do now:
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2014/196/8/5/no_place_like_home_by_dusk_spark-d7qr9ad.png
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/202/2/1/nplh___lyra_running_by_dusk_spark-d7roslp.png

Haha, my shameless plugs aside, thanks for the review.

[Soge]

4802123 Glad that you enjoyed it.

Gotta say, I envy you writers that can also draw. That is some nice cover art.

[Dusk-Spark]

4807790

Honestly, I don't consider myself all that great. I mean, let's be honest, I've certainly improved. Though, if great = level 90ish, I'm about... let's say level 45?

Funny story, I only started taking drawing seriously because I got really angry at one point in my life. Wanted to prove something, at some point I started to actually like it.

There is one surefire way to get better:
"A drawing challenge."

[Loganberry]

I'm not sure I've ever read another story quite like this one. The narration is all over the place -- but in a funny way, that works, since this is a Berry Punch story after all! The broad, alcohol-centric comedy has something of a scattergun aim -- when it hits, it's great; when it doesn't, it's less so. The more serious, deeper parts of the plot make an interesting contrast and flesh out Berry's character nicely. Could maybe do with a proofread... but with tighter editing the strange Drunk Berry-like effect of the narration would be lost!