The Minotaur, the Princess and the Train Tracks

by Beware The Carpenter

6 - Trains

Iron Will was tied to the train tracks! To his left he could see a cargo train came barreling towards him at a hundred miles per hour, intent on ripping him to pieces, as he strained against the enchanted steel chains holding him in place and the disembodied giggles of three fillies echoed through the desert air.

"You'd best give up, there's no escape!" gloated Flim standing a few paces off the train tracks, "No one's going to save you."

"And without your pesky interferences, we will soon rule world!" added Flam as both Flim Flam brothers broke out into peals of maniacal laughter.

The train rounded the last bend, and Iron Will caught sight of it's driver; the one eyed griffon, with a hook for a talon, grinning wickedly at the thought of repaying the injuries Iron Will had dealt him so long ago. He must have told the infamous Flim Flam brothers the location of Iron Will's hidden base, enabling their army of clockwork minions to invade and steal the secret formula to Iron Will's supernatural strength. If Iron Will didn't stop them, nothing would prevent this insidious trio from total world domination!

With one last great heave of enormous strength, and only seconds to spare, Iron Will ripped up an entire section of train track, and rolled to one side. The train, derailed swerved wildly to the side and plunged off the cliff into the gorge below; exploding into a pillar of flame a thousand feet high as the Flim Flam brother's arsenal of deadly war machines inside of it detonated.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" shouted the Flim Flam Brothers together as they fell to their knees. Iron Will snapped the remaining chains around him and turned to face his arch rivals, ready to finish their ancient feud once and for all. Then, just when justice seemed certain, out of the wreckage flew the one eyed griffon, wielding the last and greatest of the Flim Flam creations; the dreaded laser cannon of death!

"...And then what happened?" asked Apple Bloom, spellbound along with the other crusaders by Iron Wills epic recounting of his life.

"That's as far as we got." admitted iron Will sulkily.

"What!?" shouted Scootaloo.

"The idiot camerapony thought he knew better then the directors about where to get the best shots from and stood too close to the cliff, right where the train was headed. He dropped the camera over the edge, smashing it to pieces along with the only footage we had of that scene, and would have gone over himself if the one eyed griffon hadn't caught him. Our sponsors weren’t willing to pay for another train full of explosives for us to do the scene again, so they canceled the movie!"

"Why did you only have one camera?" asked Sweetie Bell.

"It was a special camera invented by Flim and Flam, it was going to shoot the movie in 3D and make the whole film look real; but it was only a one of a kind. When we lost it we lost half the footage we'd made so far and the sponsors weren’t willing to keep funding us."

"That's horrible!" groaned Apple Bloom

"Iron Will was gonna be a friggen Movie Star!" pouted Iron Will "The first 3D action movie ever and Iron Will was going to be the hero! We were gonna make millions on it; millions! We were going to be bigger than Daring Do; but because Iron Will hadn’t yet learned the secrets of assertiveness, he allowed his dreams to be taken away from him. That is why Iron Will now strives to teach others the ways of assertion, so that they will not suffer the ways he did.”

Iron Will was sitting with the cutie-mark crusaders in the an ice-cream storefront; although the delay weighed heavily on Iron Will, he conceded that his chances of finding an appropriate mare were far higher with some local help, and taking ten minutes to have a clear strategy laid out seemed like a good idea.

The fillies all seemed positive that they’d be able to help Iron Will find a mare before the time was up, and each claimed to know several mares they could introduce him to, and now that he’d given them some of his background, they could work on devising a plan.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The train doors were opening, the guests were departing, and Twilight was ready. She hadn’t seen Rarity is almost two months, Cadance in over two years, but they both said they’d be here at four o’clock and the next train wasn’t until five. Ponies were streaming out of the station to the left and right, but no Rarity and no Cadance.

Twilight started feeling worried; there was a schedule to keep, a birthday schedule no less and if Cadance and Rarity were late, she would have to move entire timetable back. More importantly; if Cadance and Rarity weren’t on the train, where were they? What if they were hurt? What if they’d been abducted by – “Boo!”

Twilight spun around; charging half a dozen defensive and offensive spells simultaneously, only to find her looking into the smiling face of Cadance. Twilight gave a sigh of relief, “Don’t scare me like that.”

Cadance grinned, “Celestia said Ponyville had helped you loosen up, I wanted to see this for myself.”

Twilight giggled and threw her hooves around her old foalsitter drawing her into a tight embrace before reciting the mantra, “Sunshine, Sunshine, ladybugs awake; Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” after that; awkward silence.

Twilight had made a list of things to ask Cadance about while she was here, but honestly, she didn't care about any of the answers, save for one. Eight months ago, she had heard that Shining Armor and Cadance were engaged, and then a week later she had heard the wedding a canceled, with no explanation from either of them. Even more disturbing was that since then, whenever Twilight tried to get in contact with Shining Armor she’d gotten the feeling that he’d been brushing her off. “Cadance… you and Shining Armo-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Said Cadance quickly, before noticing how harsh she’d sounded. “I’m sorry it’s just… I’ll talk to you later.”

“Before you leave?”

“… Maybe.”

Twilight nodded, utterly unsatisfied. She needed to know, but at the same time she knew pressing Cadance would only make her close up even more. She needed to give Cadance time to relax, and that means she needed to give herself something else to think about; another question like… why was Cadance wearing that green vest? That was easy; like usual Cadance wanted to avoid the attention of anyone recognizing her as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Twilight needed another mystery, something harder like… where was Rarity?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Rarity was at that very moment flying high above Ponyville in a chariot drawn by six model pegasi, all of whom looked fabulous, each wearing one of her most designer dresses which looked even more fabulous, pulling a silver chariot Rarity had designed herself which looked even more fabulous, in which was riding Rarity herself who was, of course, looking absolutely, positively, FAB-U-LOUS!

After making one lap around Ponyville, gracing the ponies below with glorious views of her latest creations, drawing a series of 'oos' and 'ahs' that floated into the air, soon to become hard cash as they scurried off to Canterlot to buy her magnificent creations. Rarity could have kept flying like this forever, but she did, of course have an appointment to keep; it was Twilight’s birthday after all and Rarity couldn’t wait to see Twilight’s expression when she gave her twenty-fifth birthday present; a twenty-five percent off coupon for her latest range of clothing!

Rarity had considered giving Twilight something more, (she was her friend after all), but she needed to be considerate to the rest of the Elements of Harmony. The coupon alone was worth three hundred bits, which was more than most of the other elements, except for Rainbow Dash, could afford on their pitiful salaries, and to give her more than the coupon would just serve to embarrass the others. She had in fact wondered if the coupon was a bit too much to give Twilight but if anyone brought that up she could say that it was an investment. Twilight was a model citizen in Ponyville, and Celestia’s protégé, Twilight wearing some of Rarity’s finest creations would surely be magnificent advertising, sure to pay for itself several times over by the end of the season.

Rarity called for her mares to land near the train station, which they did immediately, coming in with all the grace and style of an entrance fit for a princess! Some might think it a bit over the top, but Rarity had someone she needed to impress. Twilight had told her that the Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself was attending her birthday party, and if Rarity could convince her to model her next range of dresses it would be another step forwards for her fashion empire.

Rarity stepped daintily onto the wet grass and was met promptly by Twilight and some charming pink unicorn mare wrapped some drably lump of green cloth. Who could she be? Why of course! Rainbow Dash’s and Rarity’s rise to prominence in society must have surely had an inspiring effect on Twilight to make something of herself as well, this must be Twilight’s serving girl; quite pretty, but Twilight really should dress her better.

“Rarity!” Twilight and her serving girl came cantering over to greet her; no, she couldn’t be thinking-

“Not the dress, not the dress, not the dress!” called Rarity, backing up before Twilight crumpled the feather collar of her new dress with a careless hug. Twilight came to her senses in time and stopped before damaging anything, Rarity breathed a sigh of relief and put on one of her winning smiles, “Twilight, darling, how have you been?”

“Great Rarity… umm…” Twilight was looked past her to her entourage. For a moment Rarity thought she must be admiring the new dresses, but instead she seemed a bit apprehensive and intimidated.

“Oh don’t worry about them darling, just my way of getting down here; infinitely better then that dingy old train, but they’ll be staying at the hotel so they won’t be crashing your party.”

Twilight nodded slowly, “O…K. We were just about to go for ice-cream, do you want-”

“Oh, what a splendid idea darling; but really I can’t wait to met Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, you said she’d be here.” Rarity thought for a moment, “You there;” she said, calling to Twilight’s serving girl, “Twilight and I are going to her house meet a Princess; gossip has it that she likes vanilla, Twilight likes chocolate syrup and I enjoy,” she took a breath, “one half peppermint swirl, one quarter banana frost and one quarter apple crisp, in a chocolate cone with two squirts of strawberry icing and one teaspoon of crushed walnuts; oh and… get a little something for yourself.” She instructed, holding out a small pile of bits out for the cones along with a generous tip.

Twilight and her servant girl stared at Rarity in confusion for a moment, though really she couldn’t see how she could have been clearer. Twilight looked like she was about to say something but then the servant girl got that tiny flicker of understanding in her eyes, took the coins and bowed, “Yes ma’am” and cantered off in the direction of the ice cream store.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The ice-creams were finished, the bill was paid and if Iron Will couldn’t find a suitable date within the next two hours, he was dead. The fillies were all buzzing with excitement, literally in the case of the pegasus. Iron Will needed insight to the minds of female ponies to find out why the other mares had been rejecting him, and he had three experts right here; “What to women want?”

“They need to be swept off their hooves” declared Scootaloo, “Blow them away with your awesomeness.”

“Ya need to show sincerity,” instructed Apple Bloom, “Show you actually care about em and ain’t just in it for their bodies.”

“Show your sensitive side.” Advised Sweetie Bell, “Prove you’re a poet at heart.”

“You can’t be shy; you got to act confident, take the lead, march up to her, and ask for a date.”

“But ya need ta show her you respect her.” Reminded Apple Bloom.

“I’ve always imagined my perfect guy would sing his love for me.” Admitted Sweetie Bell shyly.

“Good idea, but you also got to bust out your sweet dance moves.” Added Scootaloo.

“Show her that ya understand her.” continued Apple Bloom

“But you can’t come across as a complete weirdo!” finalized Sweetie Bell.

Iron Will was confused; he was about to ask the crusaders to clarify their advice, but before he had the chance, the store bell rang as the door opened and a pink unicorn mare with a light green tunic trotted in.

Comments

[Archivist Nightwatch]

I am so confused what happened between cadance and Shining? What point in time are we at. Where the hell was rarity? I have no fucking clue what the hell is even going on in this story right now.

[Beware The Carpenter]

3947874

Read the description: this is set eight months after an alternate ending to season 2; the wedding was postponed without explanation, the reason for which is explained in Storm of Secrets.

What's happened to Rarity began with me thinking about the episode Sweet and Elite, how in three days she's breaking her prior commitment to Twilight, and lying to the Canterlot elite ect, but ended up turning good again. I wondered what if Rarity's friends hadn't come by and she'd stayed in Canterlot, became very popular/ influential but also became more and more self absorbed in herself and her fashion. Essentially, she's gone crazy, (and Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt.)

What's going on now is Cadance is angry at Shining Armor, and Iron Will is about to ask her to pretend to be his lover, so he can fake his death protecting her, so his brother will go home and tell everyone that he died an honorable death.

[Ikra]

I love this story, it is funnamazing

[Beware The Carpenter]

5484178

Thanks It's been been on hold for almost a year now since other things kept getting in the way, but I want you to know I haven't abandoned it; and it's especially been coming back to mind since only recently I've learned that it does provide important back story to Limits of the Horizons.

Hopefully maybe February I'll finish it?

[Ikra]

5485808 that's great to hear! I look forward to an update!