Twilight, seeing that her friend needed a little bit of companionship, decided to help him get a date.
But boy, did he aim a little too high for her taste.
Now, her and Spike need to help this putz of a human snatch a date from one of the most undateable beings on the planet, Princess Celestia.
Needless to say, they're doomed.
Cover art used with permission by Lydia-Rawr
Warning: Story will contain horrible romance clichés, cutsieness, and all around silliness.
You have been warned.
Chapters (25)
Ha, I like this idea, time to read!
I'm in!
I'm looking forward to Twilight's mom.
...Fuck yes, bring it on!
Hmmm…12 tries, JE a part of me, want to believed Aang has his plan already and will just going to ask her out, to see if he can, while the other its imagine he don't want to date a pony yet and its only doing this with the intention of get Twilight out of his back, I can imagine how he will put Celestia on board
"Listen Celestia I don't really want to ask you out on a date?"
"You don't?"
"No, but Twilight its just out of control and I can't take it anymore, I need to find a way for her to just STOP trying me to convert me into her believes"
"Believes?"
"I keep telling her that I'm not ready to date but she don't listen!, please Celestia, please help me out"
"Oh Aang, I'm sorry Twilight can sometimes can get out of hand, of course I will help"
"Thanks Celestia I own you big time, as for the date I will pick you at 8?"
"8 it is"
then he walk away and toward were Twilight and Spike are
"And that its, how its done"
"She said yes?!"
He nods and Twilight get excited again
Hmmm…12 tries, JE a part of me, want to believed Aang has his plan already and will just going to ask her out, to see if he can, while the other its imagine he don't want to date a pony yet and its only doing this with the intention of get Twilight out of his back, I can imagine how he will put Celestia on board
"Listen Celestia I don't really want to ask you out on a date?"
"You don't?"
"No, but Twilight its just out of control and I can't take it anymore, I need to find a way for her to just STOP trying me to convert me into her believes"
"Believes?"
"I keep telling her that I'm not ready to date but she don't listen!, please Celestia, please help me out"
"Oh Aang, I'm sorry Twilight can sometimes can get out of hand, of course I will help"
"Thanks Celestia I own you big time, as for the date I will pick you at 8?"
"8 it is"
then he walk away and toward were Twilight and Spike are
"And that its, how its done"
"She said yes?!"
He nods and Twilight get excited again
Another good story man maybe this could help a guy like me with my shitty love life
Excellent... and once the cliches are in the open...! I got nothin'... what? I'm not paid to be funny.
You write some of the best irreverent HiE, LBP.
So thanks for that.
This looks like it will be quite enjoyable.
I eagerly await more installments!
Oh boy. Hold on tight everybody, it's gonna be a wild ride!
"Sargent! Sargent! They've been said!!!"
"Dear Lord, quick prepare the troops!.."
dontdrinkbeer.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/there-be-a-shit-storm-a-brewin.jpg%3Fw%3D493
Whelp, I am gonna follow this here...
Someone get the "dis gunna be good" gif.
oh boy oh boy! YUSH
mightykingdom.com/wp-content/themes/mk/images/Godzilla-Facepalm-godzilla-30354011-640-387.jpg
THEORY:
Twilight is stupid.
PROOF:
She jinxed it.
PHYSICAL PROOF (Ya knucklehead):
I assume this is Twilight saying that. If it's not. Then my next guess is Anny, though I'd much rather it be Spike being stupid. Nonetheless, whoever said it is a moron.
I LOVE THIS STORY. IT'S WELL WRITEN AND EVERYTHING!
Jokes on them: Field Notes on Alicorn Reproductive Behavior
I really like the "guide." I can't wait for the rest! You won a thumbs up.
I don´t know why, but every time TS have a panic attack i always wanna try something like this to calm her:
I am intrigued good sir.
Please, do continue.
3874271 My sides just went to visit Luna's favourite Rock.
Misread the name of this fic: "How to colt alicorns". My brain, you sick!
This is going to be interesting.
That was surprisingly good! Have a fave and like!
ohboyherewego.jpg
I feel that as a human, Antaeus should call Twilight out on that last sentence.
Everyone knows not to say that.
You have my attention, i will keep an Eye on this fic.
Famous last words.
and they just doomed themselves.... you NEVER say that phrase, or any variation on that phrase. it's like ASKING the universe to back hand you in the FACE!
Otherwise, superb work my friend.
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS STORY RIFFERS, YAY!
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/290/d/7/cutie_mark_crusaders___little_angels_by_mysticalpha-d5h5aw7.jpg
Apple Bloom: What's a person?
Sweetie Belle: What's a powerpoint?
Scootaloo: What's a clap?
(Apple Bloom tries to count on her hoof)
Apple Bloom: Let's see...one... (beat) ...that's as high as it goes...
Apple Bloom: But...Twilight always gives great advice! Except for the part about havin' to wait for mah Cutie Mark...
Scootaloo: She also doesn't have a special somepony.
Apple Bloom: Now that's just plain crazy! Big Macintosh has looked at Twilight lotsa times, an' she ain't blushed not once!
Scootaloo: Oh great, there's a boat in this story now?
Sweetie Belle: I have no idea what boats have to do with romance, but I just got a great idea for our next crusade! You know, if we don't get our Cutie Marks for this thing.
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo: EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!
Scootaloo: Ugh, is this another one of those "brony" things that keep showing up all over Ponyville?
Apple Bloom: "ANNY"?!
(Scootaloo snickers, and Sweetie Belle giggles)
Apple Bloom: Ah wonder what KIND of apples he's buyin', if he's keen on eatin' Twilight's chips...
Apple Bloom: Oh, so THAT'S why we don't invite Uncle Pig Poker to th' family reunions no more!
Sweetie Belle: So when did the bookworms make Twilight their queen? Last I heard, she tried to wipe them all out for eating most of the library!
Sweetie Belle: Unless they're strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly.
Scootaloo: Or if they're Button Mash.
Sweetie Belle: HEY!
Scootaloo: Ugh, that sounds like one of Rainbow Dash's lame clopping jokes.
Sweetie Belle: Did you just say something Rainbow Dash does is lame?
Scootaloo: I know, weird, but have you ever heard her clopping jokes?
Apple Bloom: Ah'm confused. What do storks have to do with a mare gettin' mounted when she's in heat an' havin' a foal?
Scootaloo: Grown-ups are weird.
Apple Bloom: Huh? How could she BE the smile on his face?
Sweetie Belle: Well, it IS Twilight. She's had crazier magical accidents.
Scootaloo: What's "sexual orientation"?
Apple Bloom: Ah think it means which way his weiner's pointed.
Scootaloo: What is he, a compass?
Sweetie Belle: He's dead.
Scootaloo: SO dead.
Apple Bloom: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Now Ah'm confused. Is she a worm or a hound?
Scootaloo: I'm pretty sure she's still a pony.
Sweetie Belle: Book-Hound? Is that anything like a Diamond Dog?
Sweetie Belle: She picked ALL of them!
Apple Bloom: Can you do that? Can you pick a thousand suitors?
Scootaloo: Sure, haven't you heard of harems?
Apple Bloom: What's Angel Bunny got to do with anything?
Sweetie Belle: Ugh, that sounds like something out of one of Rarity's trashy romance novels she doesn't want me reading.
Apple Bloom: AH CANNOT UNSEE THAT!!
Apple Bloom: ...
Sweetie Belle: ...
Scootaloo: ...
Apple Bloom: ...movin' right along...
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo: THAT'S WHAT WE KEEP TELLIN' EVERYPONY!
Sweetie Belle: Oh yeah, because Rarity's such a BIG success in the romance department. What with the one date she ever had being that jerky Bluebutt.
Apple Bloom: Ain't he married t' Derpy?
Apple Bloom: ...
Sweetie Belle: ...
Scootaloo: ...
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo: WHAT?!
Scootaloo: What the hay?! Is she about to pee on him?!
Apple Bloom: Maybe he's thirsty after all them chips?
Sweetie Belle: APPLE BLOOM! You're gonna make me throw up here!
Sweetie Belle: I...don't think Princess Celestia would appreciate being called "undateable".
Scootaloo: Yeah, that makes it sound like she's got diarrhea or something.
Sweetie Belle: Gonorrhea.
Scootaloo: What are you, a dictionary?
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo: FLUTTERSHY!
Apple Bloom: Only...she don't live in Canterlot...
Excellent Smithers! >:]
Why am I drawn to stories like this? Have a damn fav and a friggin' like....I'll get you for this....
3875081 Oh, God, that's priceless!!
I applaud your sense of humor, sir!
3875115
3875081
Please keep doing this.
3875306 Any time a story gives me THIS much to work with? You betcha.
3875314 i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7531201280/h5F42D6C9/
3875321 ...riiiiiiight. You just go with your bad self then.
3875328
Quick question. Are you going to continue the alicorn for a day story?
3875338 Of course!
3875342
I hope Pinkie is the next one to be a alicorn.
YES!
3875352 Err...you know Rainbow Dash is next, right? It said so in the story AND the author's notes...
(Also let's stop talking about my story in the comments thread for this other story.
)
Good stuff. We approve.
This looks completely terrible. I am totally watching it.
Quite a contortionist, isn't she?
HURRY HURRY HURRY!!! I NEED MOAR CHAPTERS!
MOOOOAAAAAAARRRR
MOOOOOAAAAAAARRR!!!!
Bloody hilariously brilliant, I'm excited to see where this goes.
Oh and a advices, rule of gold when courting an alicorn refer to her as a mare first and as princess second, they had 1000 years of suck ups pretenders that are in love with the crown, not the mare, and a lot of them forget that Celestia its a mare that has feelings and dreams like anyone else. Out of respect you could ask but when meet her call her by her name on friendly grounds, trust me, it helps a lot and history its on his favor if he does.
So remember everyone Rule of gold: An alicorn its a mare first a princess second