Bombshells

by 007Delta

Beauty Sleep

I felt a slight tap on my cheek. "Vaaaake uuup," said someone in an almost song like tone. "Rise and shine, Tradevind," I felt more tapping against my face, but I stirred and pulled the cover over my head. "It's time to get out of- ugh, zis is useless. Riko! Get me something loud."

There was a gutteral gurgling sound, followed by the shrill shriek of a bullhorn. I sat up straight in my bed, my heart pounding and my wings spread defensively. As I frantically scanned the room, I noticed two familiar faces; Photo Finish's and Riko's. However, they were accompanied by at least 12 other ponies whom I'd never seen in my life.

"What the buck?!" I managed to scream out. "What are you doing in my house?!"

Photo Finish looked around like there wasn't a problem. "What you mean," she deadpanned in broken English. "I figured out how to disguise you so you won't get caught. We're going to do it now. Did you forget?"

"You couldn't wait until I was awake?"

"You are avake! No need for zat any longer. Anyhow, here is ze plan." she studied my face for some sort of response, but I was still shocked and confused. "It won't be a problem tricking most ponies into thinking zat you are Tradewind, the real problem is ze Wonderbolts. I could simply dye your coat, but there is a small chance that they would still recognize you."

"But then, I thought. What is ze last thing the Wonderbolts vould expect you look like? And zen I thought, a stallion! Vich is why I got this!" she produced a green, acrid looking potion in a glass vial.

"There is no way I am going to swap genders, I like the pony I am, thank you very much,"

Photo Finish's arms drooped to her side. "But you would be unrecognizable!"

"Will it even turn me back?" There were some sheepish glances around the room.

"Well... It might take a couple years."

"Years?" I screamed a out, "A couple years? No thanks, I'm not sacrificing my gender for your photographs. That'll make headlines bigger than the one I'm trying to avoid. What else do you have?"

Photo Finish looked around the room. "I don't have anything else. I thought you would be all over zis idea."

"What made you think that?"

"Because you are so manly," she emphasized.

"Hey!"

"Nevermind, zat is not ze point. We could probably just do something simple, ja? Shave your head, crop your tail, dye you black and white, it vould be fabulous."

"No, nothing that extreme. I managed to get by Rainbow Dash with the disguise I have right now, and that pony could spot a Wonderbolt from a mile away."

"I highly doubt zat vill trick your team mates."

"I know, so could you just make what I have right now, I don't know, more convincing?"

"Let me see..."

She began looking over Fleetfoot, quietly walking around her as she eyeballed every detail of her disguise. She began muttering to herself, before she waved a hoof in her air and began jabbering away in German. As she spoke, several ponies trotted up to her and placed several items in her hooves. The first item was another glass vial, to time with sky blue liquid inside. Immediately I was cautious.

"That isn't going to turn me into a dude, is it?"

"No, quite ze contrary. It vill make you look more feminine."

Fleetfoot looked strangely at Photo Finish. "Why do you keep saying I look like a stallion?"

"Because you do darling! Short haircut, muscular build, raspy voice, you are very masculine!"

I snorted out of my nose. No matter what she was doing, she just got on my nerves. I turned my attention to the vial of liquid, which she held out to me. I grabbed it in my teeth and popped of the cork, letting it fall to my bed, before tilting my head back and taking a few swigs of the liquid.

It tasted surprisingly sweet. Almost overwhelmingly so, but perfectly treading that line between enough and diabetes. It tickled the back of my throat as I swallowed the last of the liquid.

I looked over at Photo Finish expectantly, still not sure of what the potion as going to do to me. She returned my gaze, a commensurate amount of interest in her eyes as well, when finally, I felt something.

It was a strange itching on my scalp, and as I ran my hoof through my hair, I noticed it was getting... Longer. I began fidgeting with it frantically, as my white hair drooped down to my neck and over my eyes. Suddenly, there was a burning in my voice, causing me to sputter and cough. I put my hoof to my neck, hacking and writhing, much to the horror of the ponies in the room. Riko tried to jump up and save me, but Photo Finish held her hoof out before he could.

Finally, I fell face first into my bed sheets, letting out pained, weary breaths. "F-Fleetfoot!" yelled Riko, "Are you alright?!"

I sat up in my bed, my hoof still on my throat, which felt strange. I opened my mouth to answer him.

"Yeah, I think so,"

Immediately, everyone's eyes were wide with shock, as well as my own. Instead of my raspy tone that I usually spoke with, my voice was... Alluringly smooth. I noticed Riko's eyes flutter a few times, before staring at me with a strange and creepy expression.

I didn't know what to say. It was the most alien thing I could think of, speaking with a void that wasn't yours. It frightened me as much as it fascinated me. "Dear Celestia!" I said in my new silken tongue, "My voice! It's, it's..."

"Beautiful," said Riko with half lidded eyes,

"Different" I blurted out over Riko's remark. Photo Finish handed me a mirror, which I held in my hooves as I examined myself. My eyes opened and my mouth hung in dumbstruck awe.

"Whoa," I managed to breathe out as I examined my reflection. My jaw seemed smaller, my hair was down to my shoulders, and my normally light blue coat had been slightly discolored. I looked like a whole new pony.

I was beautiful.

She looked me up and down, smiling happily at her work. She turned her head, only for a black box on my counter to catch her attention.

"Vat is this?" she inquired as she trotted up to the box. She popped of the lid, before she gasped. She pulled it out of the black box and let it hang from her hoof. "My, my, vat a beautiful little gem zis is. It vill go perfectly with your disguise."

Before I could protest and tell her that it wasn't for me, she had already put it around my neck. I let out a long, weary, devilishly smooth sigh. Well, the odds of me finding that pony were incredibly slim. What color was she again? Well, at least the intention was pure. As I examined the charm around my neck, I truly understood why that pony wanted it. It was a stunningly gorgeous piece of jewelry, and as it hung around my neck, I was glad that I had bought it.

"Alright, Tradevind, here is ze plan."

I looked up from my necklace and stared at Photo Finish with a serious expression.

"Catch a train to Canterlot, get me a juicy scoop, and come back home. Zimple."

I nodded slowly, just as Photo Finish and her troop of ponies left the room, leaving Riko behind. He was still staring at me dreamily, before I broke his concentration.

"Stop doing that," I said strangely. "That's creeping me out."

Riko shook his head, before his white cheeks turned a slight shade if crimson. "Oh, uh... Sorry, it's just that, uhh, you look..."

He never got to finish his sentence, he simply went back to staring at me.

I got out of bed and jumped down to the floor. My hooves clopped against the wood of my house, and my wings spread out wide. Riko just kept looking at me, that same mesmerized expression on his face. Dear Celestia, I hope this won't be everypony's response.

"Riko, you need to go. I have to get ready to leave. C'mon,"

He snapped out if his stupor, only to realize I was ushering him out of my house. "Oh, uh right." He began walking downstairs, never taking his eyes of me the whole time. Followed him down and opened the door for him. He began walking out, but as he watched me, he smacked into the wall, eliciting a small "oomph!" From him.

I sighed as he corrected himself. Just as he was halfway out of the door, he stopped and spoke. "Hey, why do you still have your wings up?"

I stopped, and fidgeted for a second. "Well, it's the morning. And, well, I... just forget it! Please get out of my house!" I pushed him out of the door, before closing it. I swear I saw his face redden like a beet.

Ugh. Now that I think about it, I could have made a pretty convincing stallion.

Author's Note:

Huehuehue, that ending joke.

Anyhow, let me know what you guys think of this new chapter, it took me a while actually write it. I'm lazy like that.