Chapter 1

(1)

(T) Once upon a time...

Spike was reading a book. It was called: "How to fart" (but upside-down because he couldn't read). And then, Twilight thought that Spike farted (but it was actually Owlicious). So Spike packed his bags of tooting.

(R) So Spike ran off. And Spike ran off to the forest. The EVERFREE forest. And then Spike was like "It's kinda spooky in here" (he kinda said it like Applejack). He said to himself "I didn't fart!"

And then Zecora came and said "What is that nasty smell? It smells like someone put in gel."

Spike replied "I ran away from because Twilight thought I farted." Then he started thinking. And he thought "What about all my friends? Twilight and Applejack and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and..." *audible gasp* "RARITY" He shouted. "Why would I run away from such fabulousness?"

(T) Twilight went to look for him. She had seen that Owlicious had been reading the fart-book (right side up too), and then she got mad and said "How dare you fart in my face?"

(2)

(T) Spike had left a note with a heart and Twilight and the Main six on the front, but especially it had Rarity, who he was kissing on the cheek. The note said

"Dear Twilight and Rarity *sigh*, and Fluttershy (and then) Pinkie Pie (and then Fluttershy):

I love you all very much, and I hope you all have a good time without me.

Love, Spikey-Wikey."

(R) Twilight was trying to find Star-Whirl the Bearded, and then Twilight found the note. She looked at the note and she started crying. She said, in her best Rarity voice:

(R) Meanwhile, Spike ~~was with~~ ran away from Zecora, and then he ran all the way back to Ponyville. He missed Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, cuz they were his dearest (and only) friends.

(T) Twilight decided to go to Sweet Apple Acre [sic], and then she didn't see Spikey-Wikey there. But then she went to the Everfree Forest and said "I might faint, because I miss him so much. It's just, this is just so SCA-WY"[sic]. And then Twilight woke up and it was night. The day passed through time. And then she saw...

(3)

(T) The Timberwolves yelled

(4)

(R) But then, Spike woke up. And Spike said "I must-a find-a Twilight" (In his best Mario voice).

(5)

(R) But then Spike went by to smell the flowers. And then he found Twilight (Twilight was in the flowers. She had accidentally ate a bee.) She opened her mouth to talk to Spike, and the bee flew out.

(6)

(R) And then she said "Spike! I missed you so much! I missed you more than the birds and the bees would sing!"

(T) And then one of the Bubblebees (sic) stung Twilight right in the nozzle (sic). And then Spike said "TWILIGHT! DON'T GET STINGED BY A BEE!" But then, one stinged him right in the heart. And he was like "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH, I'M GOING DOWN!"

(R) The bees finally stopped stinging, because the biggest, fattest bee said "Don't you touch my son!" (she ate the son). And then they went home. Everypony was waiting there, and all the Main Six were waiting (besides Twilight, because she was taking Spike home.) All the other ponies already knew Spike was coming home because Pinkie Sense.

(7)

(T) And then when Spike saw the thing, it looked like *fishface* without a face. It was like this creature that comes from bees, and it was trying to eat his skin (or scales, or armor, or whatever) so that he would be ~~naked~~ bare. It had followed him there all the way from the Everfree Forest. It could talk and it said: (Demon voice) "You are going to DIEEEE."

(8)

(T) Then Spike read one of Twilight's books, and it was a book about how to get rid of the Sword (Twilight had just made it from Zecora.) He grabbed one of Twilight's pens, and said "This is going to huuuuuuurt..." And then he grabbed her quil and poked himself in the ankle. And then he fell over, screaming and wrything.

(9)

(R) And then Spike got up, but then he had to go to the pony hospital (cuz' when he stabbed his ankle the thing just went under his scales (or skin, or whatever) and he said it didn't work so he is now bleeding really bad.) So they had to take him to the pony hospital, and the nurse there said *plugged nose* "Y'all need to go to Dr. Eyeball!".

(10)

(R) So Spike, Twilight, and all the others went to see Dr. Eyeball.

(11)

(T) And then... it happened. It striked (sic) again. There was another sword, he said HIYAAAAAH And he stricked. And then another sword striked too (he fell first on his buttock and then on his face). So first it got up on to Spike and jumped and landed in Spike (and then it farted, because why not?)

(R) It was then that Dr. Eyeball came in. The weird thing was that Dr. Eyeball was just a floating eyeball. He was like as big as a pizza, and he was only an eyeball.

(12)

(R) He was like four pizzas wide, and about as tall as (T). He took a very, very close look at Spikey-wikey, and then he's like "I know how to take care of this!?" And he pulled out a needle, a shot that the hole was a big shot. But instead of a needle at the tip, it was just a hole. He shoved it into Spike's knee, and he took out the Sores-

(13)

(R) He took out all three Sores, and he shoved them up Twilight's mouth. And he said "Hold these, please."

(T) And then, they went back into Twilight's mouth...

(14)

(T) So instead, they jumped out and one went onto her head, like an arrow. But they were planning to do the same thing *karate chops*.

(15)

(T) Then Dr. Eyeball laughed and said *deep voice* Twilight Spahkle... and then he ~~said~~ saw them on her head. And then they were like *ninja pose* and then he was like GRRR and then they were GRRR.

(R) And then Twilight just said "I've had enough of this." And then she used a spell to put them away forever. So they were never seen again and that was the end of the story.

Author's Note:

(1) Me: What is the story about?

R: It's about Spike running away.

Me: Why?

Because Twilight thinks he farted.

---

(2)

R: When is Twilight going to read the note?

Me: What note?

R: He left a note saying "Dear Twilight: I left because you thought I farted.

Me: You didn't mention any note!

Both: YES WE DID! ADD IT BACK!

---

(3)

T: You know how there were three Timberwolves in this story?

Me: *mumble* I didn't know there were any timberwolves in this story.

T: WELL NOW THERE'S FOUR.

---

(4)

Me: ...THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!

T: Too bad, it's my story.

R: What did they do?

T: ~~Nothing~~ They ate Spike.

R: WHAT?!

---

(5)

T: But Spike was eaten by Timberwolves.

R: But you said he woke up. He was asleep. (It was a dream.)

T: Grr...

---

(6)

Me: You realize that is really close to one of my stories.

R: Yeah, you read me that story.

---

(7)

Me: I'm just going to pretend this story still makes sense. Keep going

---

(8)

Me: What was the thing, and why was it in his house?

T: It was because he got stung right in the heart

R: What is that thing?

T: In my dream they called it a Sore. It will go all the way through your body in one whole day, but if you don't stop it it will cut out your brain and then eat it.

---

(9)

Me: I assume this thing is really confused.

---

(10)

Me: Why did she talk like she had her nose plugged?

R: Because she had a cold.

Me: If you have a cold, shouldn't you stay at home?

R: She had a stuffy nose, that's all. But it killed one of the ponies in the hospital. If he got one more sick, that he would die. And so she gave him a stuffy nose and then he died. Instantly.

Me: *goes to add a Dark tag*

---

(11)

Me: How did they get to the hospital?

R: Rainbow Dash carried Spike, Fluttershy carried Rarity, and all the rest got flutter-wings (from Twilight.) Duuuh.

---

(12)

R: why did you write down a Pizza?

Me: I was describing your gesture.

R: It was bigger than that. Like, this big.

Me: So how would you describe it?

R: Like, four Pizzas.

---

Me: How did Dr. Eyeball do anything if he was just an eyeball?

R: ~~The nurse held it for him.~~ He had plastic arms.

---

(13)

T: There's three.

R: He took out all three of them.

T: No, he can't!

R: It's my turn to tell the story!

T: Too bad. He can't.

R: Can.

T: Can't.

R: Can.

Me: Since (R) is telling the story right now, she makes the decision.

T: *headbutts me*

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(14)

R: But then they would be digested!

T: What does that mean?

R: Destroyed and turned into poop.

T: Eew.

---

(15)

Me: What do you mean?

T: They're planning on jumping out of her mouth, doing a backflip, and landing on her head.

Me: But didn't they already do that?

T: That's what I'm trying to explain to you!

---

AFTERWORD:

R: (Me), What are you doing?

Me: Fixing the layout of the story so it reads nice.

R: You know, there's something I forgot.

Me: ??

R: It turns out, neither Spike nor Owlicious farted. They just needed a bath.

Me: *eye twitching*

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Comments ( 19 )

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Psycho Pwny

Psycho Pwny #1 · Mar 19th, 2014 · 6 · ·

Ahh, the subtle insanity of a child is truly something to preserve. Good job! Unfortunately, I don't have any siblings young enough to write from.

Captain Burrito

Captain Burrito #2 · Mar 19th, 2014 · 4 · ·

Aww! You're a better brother than I am a sister...

sugarush13

sugarush13 #3 · Mar 19th, 2014 · 1 · ·

I was lost pretty much the whole time, but I wanna write a story like this with my younger brother! It will be awesome!

sbloom85

sbloom85 #4 · Mar 19th, 2014 · 2 · ·

I think Rarity said it best.

At first I was like What?
Then I was like : What the heck did I just read?

This was both hilarious and confusing. Kudos to your sisters.

Astronis Blackwing

Astronis Blackwing #5 · Mar 19th, 2014 · 3 · ·

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAAAHA HAAAAAAAA.
I think the notes are just as funny as the story.
You should keep this and bring it out to show them when they are older. I say you made a really good memory with them.
Good job all three of you.

Spunkadunk