Episode 8: A Mission
"What are we doing?" Grub asked as she tried to adjust herself inside of the dark closet, doing her best to position herself amongst the three other Changelings and one young Draconequus.
"Probably something stupid" Thorax said bluntly as he continued to sit in the corner of the dark cramped room.
"Quiet, you're going to ruin everything" the young Draconequus hissed as she carefully opened the closet door in an attempt to check if the coast was clear. "Now you two" Lucid spoke as she turned to face Thorax and Mandible "I need you two to create a distraction, there's two Guards by the third door down the hall and we can't continue while they're there."
"This is ridiculous" Mandible muttered "I'm a Commander of the Changeling Army, not a distraction for some pointless plan."
"My dear Mandible" Thorax began to speak as he placed a hoof on the Commanders back "You're going to quickly learn that in this eternal hell, we're all equal. It's easier to just go with it and hope that Queen Chrysalis doesn't join in." With that the Changeling stood up saluted his comrades and blindly ran out in to the hall quickly followed by Mandible.
"Ahem" Thorax cleared his throat gaining the attention of the two Night Guards "Celestia rules, Luna drools."
[Back in the closet]
Lucid, Grub and Twitch weren't sure what was happening outside of the closet, but the sounds of screaming Changelings and hissing guards gave them a good idea, after several seconds of silently listening to the horrors outside the screams and hisses slowly faded away along with panicked hoof beats.
"They will not be forgotten." Lucid stated proudly as she and the two remaining Changelings saluted their fallen comrades. "Now that the guards are out of the way, it's time for us to move out."
Slowly the young Draconequus pushed the door open making sure that both the guards and fallen for their trick and that the coast was completely clear. After of few seconds of carefully scanning the hall from top to bottom she made her move silently followed by her two guards.
"Now when we get in, I'll need one of you to cover the door while we gather the goods." Lucid whispered as she carefully opened the door and slide in her guards following behind her nervously checking to ensure nobody had seen them. As the two Changelings stood in the darkness of the room they hadn't expected the blinding lights to spring to life as Lucid flicked the light switch with her magic.
"A kitchen?" Twitch muttered unsure if they had entered the correct room.
"Not just a kitchen" Lucid spoke as she made her way towards the large fridge a black Insignia on its face "Aunt Luna's private kitchen." she whispered as she ran a claw down its side. Slowly the young god concentrating all of her energy into breaking her aunt's wards and after several seconds the faint sounds of the metal latch releasing signified another victory.
"Ms. Lucid" Grub spoke nervously "Why exactly are we in your Aunt's private kitchen?"
"For this" Lucid answered as she pushed the fridge door open revealing possibly the most amazing cake ever crafted by mortals. "I give you Princess Luna's triple layer strawberry cheese cake. Made with the finest ingredients gathered throughout time and space by my aunt herself, and now we're going to steal it." Lucid finished with a devious grin. However her victory was short lived as the faint sound of approaching hoof beats caused her to panic.
"Everyone hide" she hissed as they scrambled to find a place to hide. The young Draconequus rapidly scanned the room as she searched for the safest place to hide her two guards quickly cramming themselves inside one of the larger pair of cupboards. The filly quickly decided on her hiding spot as she pulled open on the lower cupboards, but what she saw surprised her.
"Aunt Celestia?" Lucid asked in confusion as she stared at the white Alicorn cramped inside the lower cupboard.
"You saw nothing" Celestia hissed as she grabbed the cupboard door with her magic and slammed it shut.
"Well then" Lucid muttered to herself as she opened the next available cupboard and climbed in.
[Meanwhile]
"Love I really don't think this is a good idea." Sombra spoke as he and his wife made their way towards Luna's private kitchen.
"Nonsense" Chrysalis answered dismissively "Celestia and Luna told us to make ourselves at home."
"I don't think that entailed raiding their private food stores." Sombra chuckled
"Quiet you" the Changeling Queen hissed as they approached the kitchen door surprised to see that none of the guards remained "We've got to be careful, Luna is insane so the entire place is probably booby trapped." Chrysalis spoke as she carefully examined the floor for any sort of trip wires or pressure plates.
"Luna's not all that crazy." Sombra defended as he thought back to the last few times they had come down to visit a slow-mo montage of all the times his wife had been blown up flashing through his mind. "Actually you're probably right Love, we should watch for traps."
Chrysalis nodded in confirmation as she slowly and incredibly nervously began opening the door, waiting for any sight or sound that would signify her impending death. But it never came as the door slowly creaked open revealing the still lit room. Chrysalis shrugged off the lights being on as some forgetful creature's mistake as she carefully entered the room. Sombra following behind, but not close enough to be taken out by a wife sized explosion.
A the Changeling Queen made her way through the potentially deadly kitchen she kept shifting her gaze back and forth and hopes of finding any signs of death before they got to her and her search eventually paid off as she noticed something dangling from one of the cupboards.
"What is it?" the grey Unicorn asked as he tried to focus on the strange black object.
"Let's find out." Chrysalis answered as she backed up a few steps and grasped the object with her magic and in one quick tug she watched in complete amazement as a Changeling came plummeting out of the cupboard followed by a second changeling who had been dragged out by her comrade during her fall.
"Did not see that coming" Sombra spoke as he stared at the two Changelings on the floor, who were quickly trying to climb to their hooves.
"What is all that racket?" Discord hissed as the drawer he was sleeping in shot open. "Some of us are trying to get some sleep here."
"I did see that coming though" Sombra stated proudly as he and his wife stared at the Draconequus
"Discord, I know I shouldn't" Chrysalis began to speak "But what in the seven fires of Tartarus are you doing in the drawer."
"Sleeping" Discord answered flatly
"Yes, I know sleeping, but why aren't you using your bed?"
"I spilt milk in it." He answered
"Why didn't you just clean it up?" Chrysalis asked with a raised brow. "I know the one thing you take the most seriously is your sleeping."
"Exploding Milk" Discord answered with a nervous chuckle.
"So where's Moony?"
"She was in the bed" Discord answered with another nervous laugh.
"Where is she now Discord?" Chrysalis asked firmly trying to force him to answer the question.
"All over the room." The Draconequus answered as a semi-shell shocked expression covered his face. His poor bed didn’t deserve what had happened to it, he loved that bed and now it was gone.
"It's okay" Sombra tried to comfort Discord as he patted the Draconequus on the back. "Everyone blows up their wife once in a while. Let's go find you a proper bed." He finished as he led the shell shocked Draconequus out of the kitchen.
"Well now that that mystery has been solved" Chrysalis spook as she shifted her attention to the two Changeling she had just discovered who were currently trying to sneak away. "What are you two doing in here?" The Changeling queen asked as she pulled the two Changelings towards her. "Aren't you two supposed to be protecting Lucid?"
"Ah huh" Grub nodded as her Queen maintained eye contact.
"So where is she?"
"In the cupboard" Grub answered as she pointed towards a row of cupboards across from them. Chrysalis made her way towards the row of cupboards the two Changelings floating along behind her.
"That one" the Changeling stated as she pointed towards a cupboard and quickly fell to the floor as Chrysalis released her grip in order to open the door.
"Celestia?" Chrysalis asked in confusion as she stared at the Sun Goddess currently cramped in the small cupboard. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to steal a cake but you foals won't stop messing up my plan." Hissed the goddess as she struggled to free herself from her hiding place. After several seconds of struggling she found much to her horror that her flank was currently stuck. "If you say anything I'll annihilate your entire kingdom."
"You sure you didn't already eat the cake?" Chrysalis laughed as she watched the white Alicorn continue to struggle in an attempt to free herself form the cupboards unbreakable grasp.
"That's it, I'm friendship bombing the fu-" Celestia's threats were cut off as once again the sound of faint echoing hoof beats filled the air.
"Push over fat flank." Chrysalis hissed as she shoved the white Alicorn back into the cupboard and climbed in herself. Making the already cramped cupboard impossibly full. "You two better hide to" Chrysalis whispered to the two remaining Changelings who quickly scrambled back to their original hiding spots.
"I hate you so much" Celestia hissed under her breath.
"Love you too Celly" Chrysalis whispered in response as she could hear the kitchen door open and eventually the sound of it closing.
"I have to thank you both again for your assistance" spoke the voice of Princess Luna "I have no idea where my guards went, but it's nice to have some assistance in order to transfer this cake to my private Chambers" she continued to speak as she opened the large fridge and carefully levitated down onto the cart.
"As we said before, it's not a trouble at all." Spoke a second familiar voice "Isn't that right Commander Mandible?"
"Yeah...." Mandible answered nervously as he searched the room. "Like Thorax said, it's no problem at all."
"If you don't mind me asking, why are you moving the entire cake to your room?" Thorax asked as he and Mandible began pushing the large cart.
"Just some safety concerns, that's all" Luna answered with a grin a she levitated a small metal object from her saddle bag. Thorax and Mandible watched as she pulled a small metal pin out of the top before opening one of the cupboards and tossing the whole thing in.
"Where did she find a grena-" Sadly for Celestia and Chrysalis that sentence was cut off as the grenade detonated blowing both of them straight to Tartarus.
"Sweet Moon how I love Griffin weaponry." Luna stated happily. "Now come along," She stated as she made her way towards the exit the two cart pushing Changelings following closely behind.
Several minutes later Lucid stumbled out of her hiding cupboard her ears still ringing from the blast that had almost claimed her too.
"Those dirty traitors." Lucid muttered to herself as she cast a glance towards the now empty fridge. She was so close and now her prize was gone.
"Grub" Twitch spoke fearfully
"Yeah?"
"I want to go home." the scared Changeling muttered.
"I know I do too." she answered as she patted her friends back.
[15 Minutes Later]
Thorax and Mandible slowly entered Lucid's chambers, expecting anything from the young god.
"So, the Traitors retur-" Lucid paused as she noticed three plates levitating around the two Changelings. "Clever Changeling."
"The mission was a complete success." Mandible stated confidently as he lowered the plate onto the bed. "Sadly your aunts did not survive”
"You know Auntie Chrysalis is still going to know you tipped Auntie Luna off right?" Lucid asked with a curious expression. "You Queen probably won't be lenient to a traitor."
"But you're our Queen." Thorax said with a slightly maniacal laugh. "She gave us to you and we followed our orders." Thorax continued as he opened one of the new saddle bags he was wearing. "Besides, your Aunt gave us a few new toys to defend ourselves." he laughed again as he used his magic to begin juggling three more grenades above his head.
"The Queen is dead, long live the new Queen." The Changeling muttered to himself as his eye continued to twitch.
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THE QUEEN IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
Author's Note:
I don't feel good, but I wrote this anyways.
And we love you for it!
And then i died of hilarity.
That was the second time I died.
Luna for president.
Oh gosh! Poor Celly and Chrissy! This was such a fun chapter! Thank you for wrighting it! And I really super duper hope that you get to feeling better soon!
I have to say though... The Dialog with Discord is ALWAYS wonderful! But this one made my sides legit hurt! Dear Lord of Chaos they HuRt SoSoooo MUCH!
An excellent chapter.
3970922
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN
3971158
Just remember, everyone blows up their wife at least a few times.
(Don't tell Discord this, but Sombra lied to try and make him feel better)
3971542
Yeah. I guess Sombra is just to nice of a pony to blow up his wife! LOL!!!
3971542 ..Wait a second..you're not a changeling! You're a Goodra! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN PONYLAND?
Luna loves playing with her toys doesn't she.
I not only love how one-by-one we find out that EVERYONE is after the cake, but that the ONLY ONE who isn't, is DISCORD who in every other chapter is ALWAYS THE ONE RAIDING KITCHENS
I havn´t read this yet, but I am really looking forward to it.
is sombra British? he keeps saying "love" a lot, so im thinking of him with a British accent now
This fucking fanfic. Thanks for being in the feature box at 2 AM. I woke my family because I was laughing so damn hard. Well worth it! Can't wait to see the next chapter!
3974043
If you liked this one you should like it's own going "Prequel" Equestria's Crazies we're at about 31 Chapters (It's a little slow to start because it was basically my original story) but once it gets going, I'd say it's the same quality as this.
Niiiiiiiiiice
3971722
Remember the Loony Toons? "Expect the unexpected"
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/155/6/0/wallpaper__pinikie__s_graduation_by_dstears-d529t81.png
I want to double-like you!
3994468
Thank you :D
Glad to hear you're enjoying the story, hopefully I'll have another new chapter reasonably soon. (1 - 2 weeks) maybe
>>>"Besides, your Aunt gave us a few new toys to defend ourselves." he laughed again as he used his magic to begin juggling three more grenades above his head. >>>
Alas, the pins then fell out.
Yea cheesecake is that damn good.
Awesome, I can't wait for more.
4524724
Yeah I messed up
I have to do a couple re-writes for this story and my last one I just don't know what to replace things with.
Though regarding her being a Princess, I was going to have it that she stepped down after awhile as ruling just wasn't something she wanted.
I love this chapter!
this makes me fall over laughing.
I saw that coming
want more
MOOOOOOAAAAAR
LESS FUCKING MENTAL IMAGES PLEASE!
4899361
I'm so sorry
4899361 I agree
Welp, those two are deader than disco.