The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Devil in Disguise by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.
It was not just a library I'd found, but a library associated with a university. Inside, preserved by cold and magic, was a treasure trove of both ancient texts and modern scientific thought, all from over a thousand years ago, when pony warred on pony, and technology was embraced.
It called for my most diligent and careful efforts. My most stringent concentration. This would be a tremendous bargaining chip. As well as a huge boon to the humans who would be coming here. No more guesses about the nature of this world. Here would be the scientific research, as well as the unexpurgated history of our benevolent masters.
"Hi there! I bet you never thought you'd have a friend like me!" Discord said as he appeared in front of me, and did a very poor version the genie's act from Aladdin. I mean worse than Homer Simpson's in Return of Jafar, he at least brought his A-game. As his act wound down, Discord floated before me. "So, I offer the three, traditional wishes. Just say the word."
I began to understand why ponies all thought he was irritating. Instead, I began scribing into the massive ice walls that encircled the settlement I have been carving loose from the ice. I pointed to it once I was done. Discord stared at the pony-high letters through a pair of granny glasses.
"Wow, you must have a lawyer or two in there with you," Discord said, "But, you've been giving me so much fun, with more fun to follow. I'll do it."
In an instant, the entire city was clear of ice. Just as I wished, several years' work done in a moment. He'd also reforested the park lands, cleared a couple of outlying towns, laid out several areas of land for tilling. Even put up several orchards. By exceeding my wildest imagination, he'd also proven who had the biggest stick on the planet.
"Now look. I like the nice, low-key approach," he told me as he leaned against my snout, "No real trouble, you playing the misunderstood underdog. But Celestia's mine. Keep her guessing, keep her depressed, even break her down and make her sob her heart out, and we live together in amicable chaos. Go beyond that, and we, you have a problem."
I nodded. The city was clear, which was my first wish. He'd gone far beyond my wishes, but I wasn't complaining. I looked at him expectantly.
"Sorry, you still have two wishes left. I can't let you talk, those were horrible movies. And as much as it pains me to admit it, humans can't live here. Something about the unfavorable catalyzation of reverse transcriptase or something. You use magic, or you die. Simple as that. But, you've got all you need to make some changes. Enjoy." He leaned close and elbowed me in the cheek. "I certainly am."
With that he vanished. I checked over the town as carefully as I could. He seemed to have done a masterful, and professional job restoring the place. No unwelcome surprises. At least none I could see or sense. No Plunder Vines or barrels full of Windingos. He had unroofed the place, so I suspect that I'd be receiving visitors. That would be unfortunate, for them.
I'd been expecting the refusal to return the humans to their native form. Shame about the voice, I thought, I would have liked to be able to talk to the pony authorities. But I suspect he would have made me sound like a Chipmunk on helium. Carry on.
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It was several days later just before sunset when the first pony boats appeared. The old notion of 'spy trawlers' came to mind as they were to a one fishing boats.
"Ahoy the land," came the cry from the lead boat.
I stuck my head out of the valley between the ice sheets. Two of the boats immediately tried to reinvent hydroplane racing. The others just stared in awe.
Be interesting if the ones staying are all Newfoals, and the ones retreating are standard ponies, I thought, Good test for casual infiltrators.
The leader, an older man and his young grandson? right out of Hemingway's 'Old Man and the Sea' approached. "My name is Michael Goodman, this is my apprentice Jose Sanchez."
I nodded. The guy had guts, but he was also a natural leader. The other boats were closing as he rowed in closer.
"These are all who're left of my company, all the rest went pony." He waited for my nod. "We were wondering if there was any place for a fishing fleet in your new country."
I nodded, and wrote 'cannery' in English and Spanish in the ice wall. Jose looked like I'd just announced Christmas. The boats drew in together and they all chattered excitedly. I left them to their discussions. I'd already figured out where this would go, and my answer. They'd either retreat, or want a tour. Either way, I would accommodate them.
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Celestial stood on the balcony and waved to her adoring ponies as she lowered the sun. Her brief 'vacation' was being conveniently forgotten. Once the cheering ended, she headed back inside as the council of war convened. There in the rapidly converted grand ballroom, the former Elements, all her generals, admirals and archmagi had assembled with their staffs. Despite the immensity of the room, it was rather crowded, except around the main table. The 'spear carriers' might have been nearly cheek to jowl, but the real decision makers had room to maneuver. The map at the center of the center table showed their target. She approved of the predatory expressions on the faces around the table.
"It is clear that this creature is planning another foray into Equestrian," Celestia said as she spread photos of the creature from its attack on Canterlot, including the message carved on the mountain almost directly below them. "We must ask ourselves if we should await its arrival, and engage it, or take the fight to it."
"Oh, I vote for an all out attack, with flaming ponies in each hand and great gouts of magic and the Elements of Harmony in the vanguard," Discord said as he arrived, on hearing the grumbling, he added, "Fashionably late. After the opening bloodbath, dump a massive potion bomb on him. After all, something half-a-million times larger than a large human will become quite the pony."
"Discord," Luna said.
"I am curious," Discord continued, ignoring her, "Do you have half-a-million doses of potion left? Do you have a way of lifting and launching half-a-million doses of potion? That's around 12000 gallons or 290 tons, including a reasonable container." He looked at the confused Newfoals standing guard around the room. "Forty-four and a third kiloliters and 260 tonnes, learn the Imperial system like civilized ponies."
Discord smiled as the enormity of the task assailed their warlike fervor. "Oh, Sparkly-poo."
The alicorn in question glared at Discord.
"Don't be so dour." Discord put a party hat on her head. "Godzilla just unearthed the Great Library at Monoceropolis."
"The lost library of Monoceropolis?" Twilight asked as her eyes grew wide, "The greatest collection of lost books in the world?" The littlest alicorn's eyes glittered with a lust undreamt of by most mortal lovers. "We have to kick him out of there and reclaim the library!"
"And endanger all those books?" Discord asked and shook his finger at Twilight. "The book bindery and printing presses there in the city wouldn't mean one copy of the lost books, but dozens, even hundreds. Copies of all, for all the major archives. And by allowing the troublemakers who want to leave to do so, and the price of their leaving would be copies of those lost plays, commentaries, histories, literature and science."
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," Twilight sang as she pronked around the warroom.
"Someone else want to pick up the thread?" Discord asked as his head spun around watching the happily dancing Twilight.
"Allowing the troublemakers to see peace is possible, " Luna said eagerly, "That the pony way of tolerance and Harmony triumphs their warlike tendencies and history."
Discord nodded. "And after a few decades of seeing ponies as their true selves they will begin to accept the inevitable, and accept their ponyness. Then they will be more amenable to Equestria, becoming good friends as the scars fade. On Earth, Britain had the Commonwealth: former colonies who stayed loyal to the mother country even after they'd 'grown up'. Imagine how good it will feel having them ask to come back, rather than dragging them back kicking and screaming. After all, true friends, true family have their arguments and tiffs. But they always come back together in the end, in love and mutual respect."
The others looked at Discord with pleased expressions, or slight confusion. But all shared the dream as he'd laid it out.
"No," Celestia said.
Even Twilight stopped hopping around and joined the others in staring at the Solar Diarch in confusion.
"They are our subjects, we are their sovereigns," Celestia said and nodded to Luna, "That is all they need to understand. The ancient pony homelands are pony soil. They will not be ceded to this monster."
"But," Twilight began, "Books."
"They will be ours again," Celestia assured Twilight. She glared at Discord. "Thank you for that amusing diversion. For once, your joke was funny."
"Thank you," Discord said, turned and left. Fluttershy and Rarity excused themselves and went after him.
"While he pointed out several, major problems, none of them are insuperable," Celestia said, "Our airships can easily carry that load. We have the stockpiles, and I doubt that we need concern ourselves with the safety of what we use. Many of the rejected batches can be used. Dropping it on target is the next problem." Celestia looked around, confirming they were back on track with her vision of events.
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Fluttershy caught up with Discord first, and hugged him. That slowed him down enough Rarity could catch up without galloping down the corridors of Canterlot.
"I will admit, I'm not the world greatest expert on friendship. But was I wrong, was I that far off base with what I proposed, or was it that I proposed it?" Discord asked.
"For a po - person ill-experienced with friendship, your plan was well thought out, and played to our people's strengths," Rarity said, "I would say it was an excellent plan. I don't think Princess Celestia rejected it out of hand simply because you proposed it. I don't understand why she rejected it."
"Don't feel bad," Fluttershy offered, "We all know you tried. Maybe when Cadence arrives, she'll champion your idea."
"Thank you," Discord said, he glanced down the corridor, "I think you two better get back to the meeting. Can't hang around with persona non grata without some of it sticking."
Both ponies frowned, but did as he suggested. When they could no longer see him, he grinned.
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I watched as Goodman and his team walked out of the cannery. Their stunned expressions at the complete and comprehensible systems told me that Discord had done expert work. I couldn't get into the buildings even to sniff around. The mustiness of these structures was gone. So evidently was the rust and corrosion I'd worried about. He'd restored them to as-built condition, all ready to go back into production.
"I think it will work," Goodman said.
Sanchez waved his arms until I looked at him. "Look, my parents were both union organizers, real rabble rousers."
That sat well with no one, but I worked especially hard to hide it. We'd need those kind of people.
"So they know how to get the word out, when management doesn't want the word spreading," the young former-human said. "You gave their royalnesses an easy target, date and location. I say you start slipping out the ones who are ready now, as an underground railroad. Her Highness hasn't started the crackdowns on dissidents yet, or rather again. Now is the time for those ready to run to run. We can get this place ready for when the first wave of refugees come in."
Here's the first test. Can I let go? I wanted to oversee this, to bring in the first wave myself, I thought, But it's already being taken away from me. I know they aren't smugglers. Newfoals are intellectually crippled that way. I guess, do I let a good idea stand, even though it's not mine, even though it goes against my plans? Or do I force my vision on them?
I carefully extended a hand to Sanchez. He took a finger in both hoofs and shook it.
That done, some of the weight of the world raises off of me. I nodded, and they returned to their boats.
Thanks for bringing back the serious and dialing back the "lel so randum XD"
Celestia would not survive against any human nation from the year 2040 and beyond. Just saying. Also, the ponies are lucky that the incredible hulk wasn't summoned, their potions and magic would just make him angrier.
4780329 Based on this comment, I have very large reservations reading this story. I was hoping for something serious, not Lulz reference humor.
Celestia clearly doesnt want the newfoals to have their freedom, I dont think the potion will work on a creature that eats magic like it did radiation.
A well-written chapter. I liked the subtle compare/contrast between Celestia and Godzilla and how they're handling dissent. Is it weird though that through most of this chapter I felt uneasy? You've really got me invested in the conflict and I'm honestly worried that Godzilla and the Newfoals won't succeed! I hope this has a happy ending.
All Hail the King of Man
4777342 static2.hypable.com/wp-content/gallery/sea-of-monsters-alfonso-de-la-torre-concept-art/alfonso-de-la-torre-hippocampus-d.jpg
th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2014/137/6/4/godzilla__2014__kaiju_ponified_1__femuto_by_sethhm-d7ipp8x.png sethhm's deviantart gallery: MLP-Mashups
4777469 And unfortunately, it goes right over the ponies' heads.
4777584 Of course it's a Conversion Bureau story, although most of them take place before someone flushed. It will get worse, before it gets better.
4777834 4780329 Of course, always give the audience a breather, right before you go grimdark. A bit of humor makes the darkness worse.
4783925 If the ponies didn't have the barrier, they wouldn't survive against a Great Power much past the 1860's, once you have breach-loading and multi-shot weapons, it becomes a curb stomp. Unless magic is hyped up tremendously. In canon, Twilight a rare prodigy might lift the equivalent weight of a tank, in most CB stories any unicorn off the street can toss them like toys.
Perhaps Earth is extremely high mana, which supercharges ponies. That is a possible reason why Celestia wants it.
4784084 Considering he can swat attack jets out of the sky, there's a whole other problem with potion bombing him.
4784367 You're supposed to feel uneasy. CB Celestia was willing to genocide another race based on the most tissue-thin reasons. Against her you have a creature able to lay waste to an entire city in a single night. Eventually someone is going to put someone too far and there's going to be a no-holds barred exchange. While the two likely heavies are going to walk away, a lot of collateral damage is going to occur.
Then there's Discord.
4784429 not suprised her Pride must have taken a real blow sunbutt deserve it. GLORY TO THE NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC !!
Honestly I would have liked to see Godzilla speak, just on account of the fact that we know he does understand humans to some extent in the Showa era. In the Heisei era however, they showed him to be psychic, so he might be able to learn to 'speak' that way to those around him, if he has powers and abilities and knowledge of the various timelines. I'd be curious to see how they'd react to that.
That reminds me, you said you were pulling from the Millennium era for the possession idea, but does he look like the GMK version, or does he by chance look like the G2k version that was largely predominant in all but two of the Millennium era films?
4786366 He looks like a cross between the original, and the recent Legendary, so he's burlier and shorter necked.
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4786567
Nice. I tend to think of either classic or Millennium era for the dorsal plates when I imagine this version of him.
So Discord says you can't survive in Equestria without magic? Why doesn't Godzilla just wish all the newfoals who come to him back into humans who can use magic? He has two wishes left.
4785230 I meant the 2040 thing for the ponies with a barrier, because at that point, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think we'd be able to create and store upwards of a gram of antimatter. The barrier may be OP, but an antimatter-matter collision would end it, least of all because it would involve physics temporarily taking a leave of absence, and because a forty three kiloton detonation would occur at the point of contact.
Again, another good TCB fic, with another Xenolestia. Gets real old after a while, but can't wait for more. Just hope that Celestia is able to learn her place before Godzilla puts her in it forcibly.
4787026 Just between paragraphs.
4787218 Discord also lies, he already lied about 'there is no monster it's all a prank'. With access to a univeristy and all the research there, the humans should be able to reverse engineer a potion of their own. Discord also flat out refused to give Godzilla a voice, so he'll only grant the wishes he wants to grant.
4787440 There's no proof a matter/antimatter detonation would have any more effect than a fission explosion of the same kilo/megatonnage (which is typically none). What would be devastating would be lofting meteors on an ICBM to crash down, they were never 'human-made' and a large enough meteor at high enough speeds would approach the impart of tactical nukes. Or heaving diseased animal corpses at them, they aren't 'human-made' either.
The whole genre is full of holes. It assumes the Equestrians are OP and virtuous, and the humans are willing to give up and stupid.
4788011 Just detonate nukes around the shield radiation is not man-made and the same with explosions. Your right there are huge holes in the shield.
It's hard to remember that this godzilla has (collective?) human intelligence and isn't just a monster or someone trapped in monster form.
7861199
Not that I don't agree with you, but he's still a monster.
The problem isn't him being a monster; the problem is the negative connotation that word has. The story of Frankenstein is a prime example of how something can be a monster, and yet not be monstrous.
At this point, Godzilla hasn't done anything monstrous. Celestia has, as had so many others. However, due to who he is, he still checks off many of the boxes of someone who would be considered a monster.
Terrifying, awe inspiring, and utterly, completely dangerous.
9864252
Aslan is not a tame lion.
He may be dangerous, but I think his heart is good, at least somewhat. In any case, he's cunning, and more than willing to expose the hypocrisy in The Conversion Bureau's version of Celestia. Which I look forward to. The downfall of arrogant hypocrites is a wonderful thing to behold.