Bonus Chapter: A Bunch of Stuff
Cafeteria Controlling
Bonus chapter: A bunch of stuff.
-ooooooo-
Adagio adjusted her hair as she smiled at her reflection on the chrome napkin holder in front of her. She lifted a list off the table and scanned it with her eyes and grinned deviously as she focused her gaze on a specific spot on it.
“Mystery Mint?” Adagio said, rolling her eyes. “The only mystery is how long she’s had that ratty skirt!” She continued down the list. “Naomi? What kind of stupid name is that?! And what’s up those big gold glasses! They just look ridiculous!” Her eyes drifted downward. “Norman?! That’s an even worse name than Naomi! Plus he’s just the most boring person ever!” Adagio paused to stare at her reflection and puffed her lips out at it.
“Seriously! Can we go?” A young man with unruly reddish-brown hair in a gray beanie asked as he sat in a booth over from Adagio, facing the back of her head. “I get enough of this stuff at school! She’s even picking on you, Naomi!”
A girl with long, straight purple hair and a set of large yellow sunglasses on her forehead shook her head from side to side. “Oh Norman, she’s not that bad!” Naomi replied. “Besides, our milkshakes haven’t even arrived yet!”
“But it’s not just her!” Norman said.
“Please stay,” Sunset said from behind Norman as she held her phone pointed just over his shoulder. “You guys are great to hide behind!” she added with a smile. “She hasn’t done so much as glanced in your direction since she’s got here!”
“Oh yes, do stay!” Rarity chimed in as she held her phone over Norman’s other shoulder. “It’s making spying on her ever so easy!”
“See, Norman!” Naomi said as she motioned to the two girls leaning over his shoulders. “Everyone wants us to stay!”
Norman sighed heavily and shook his head.
-ooooooo-
“How dare you— WHAAA!”
‘THUD!’
Vinyl Scratch lifted her sunglasses as she bared witness to the scene in front of her. The cafeteria was a mess of girls collapsed on the ground and thrown chairs. She took her headphones off and rested them on her shoulders as she stared out in confusion.
“Hey Tavi, what the heck is going on?” Vinyl asked the girl sitting next to her at the table. “Why is Sunset Shimmer throwing chairs at everyone?”
Octavia narrowed her eyes. “Seriously? ‘What’s going on?’ Haven’t you been paying any attention this week?!”
Vinyl shook her head. “I’ve had my headphones on literally the entire week!”
Octavia sighed and brought the fingertips on her right hand up to her forehead. “Of course you have…”
Vinyl looked Octavia up and down and began laughing.Octavia’s clothing was only slightly different than usual, with her purple vest being swapped out for a pink vest that matched her pink skirt and bow-tie. However, she also wore a helmet, elbow, and knee pads. “Hahahahaha! Tavi, is there like.. hehehe… a costume party going on today? You look ridiculous! And what’s with all the pets?!” Vinyl added as she nodded at a striped grey and black tabby cat that slept on the lunchroom table. “Is it also bring your pet day?! Seems they should really space those things out.”
Octavia removed her hand and scowled at Vinyl. She opened her mouth as if to speak.
Vinyl held up her hand. “You know what?” She shook her head. “I don’t even want to know, dude… You’ve been keeping track and you look like you’re about to participate in some sort of crazy animal roller derby.” With that, Vinyl put her glasses back over her eyes and her headphones back over her ears and allowed the soothing wubs to send her back into the world of blissful ignorance.
-ooooooo-
The tapping from Sunset’s boots could be heard clearly through the cafeteria as she walked towards the center. The students all went silent as they followed her with their eyes. Sunset looked over the expectant faces, took a deep breath, and began to sing...
“WORSHIP ME!”
… or scream rather. She followed it up with a death-metal primal roar.
“… RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOORRRRRRR!” Sunset paused and added, “Also, stop just doing whatever you’re told in song… Excluding this one… Which is totally a song…”
There was a beat of silence and then the students at CHS went wild. They cheered as they got out of their chairs and fell onto their knees on the floor, bowing repeatedly to Sunset.
“WHAT?!” Twilight cried. “I thought you turned good?!”
Sunset raised her eyebrow slightly as she turned to face Twilight. “I’ve had a loooooong week, Twilight. Like hell I’m going to waste this opportunity.”
Adagio smacked a palm against her face. “I can’t believe that’s all we had to do this entire time!”
Aria glared down at Adagio. “I can’t believe you wasted our time slowly trying to undermi…” Aria trailed off as yellow crumbs and bits of shredded cheese began to fall onto her face.
“I can’t believe how much I love tacos!” Sonata cried as she shoved more of her taco into her mouth as she continued to lay on her back on top of the other girls.
“Sonata!” Aria snapped. “What the heck!” she cried as she brushed bits of taco out of her hair.
“Where’d you even get that?”
Sonata pointed. “I told that guy I’d punch his little dog to death if he didn’t hand over his taco.”
Norman glared at Sonata and hugged his large chocolate lab tightly. “YOU LEAVE REX THE HELL ALONE!”
-ooooooo-
Vice-Principal Luna let out a heavy sigh as she pulled back her fingers from the closed window blinds.. “Well, Sunset Shimmer essentially declared herself ruler of the entire student body.”
An opossum that rested on Luna’s shoulder hissed, seemingly in annoyance.
“See?!” Principal Celestia said as she laid back in her chair and rested her feet on her wood desk. “I told you the students would figure it all out if we just left them to their own devices! You really need to lighten up.”
An orange-and-yellow parrot sitting in a gold-colored cage flapped its wings. “RAWRK! Lighten up! Lighten up!”
Luna and the opossum both shot a glare to the animal before Luna looked back at Celestia. “Well… assuming Sunset Shimmer doesn’t go too mad with power, we still need to prepare for the battle of the bands.”
“… The what?” Celestia said as she gave Luna a blank stare.
“The battle of the bands!” Luna cried. “We completely changed the format of the musical showcase at the beginning of the week just because those three new students who turned out to be evil wandered in and you decided you”—Luna air quoted—“‘liked their style’.”
Celestia sighed. “I think I’ve had enough music for a while… Let’s just push it out a week.”
Luna sighed. “FINE!”
-o~A few days later~o-
Sunset Shimmer sighed contently as she lounged in a comfortable chair in the Canterlot High School cafeteria and rested her feet on the table in front of her. She opened her mouth with an “Ah” as Rarity gently placed a grape devoid of skin into it. Beside Sunset, Pinkie fanned her with a large palm leaf.
“More sparkling cider, m’lady?” Applejack asked as she presented Sunset with a tall glass of a golden sparkling substance with a straw sticking out of it.
“Don’t mind if I do!” Sunset said as Applejack placed the straw in front of her. Sunset took a couple large sips from the straw then motioned at Applejack to backup with the drink.
Across from her, Fluttershy stood at the table and raised a huge chunk of cheese to her mouth and took a bite. Rainbow Dash also stood at the table, but rested her torso and head on top of it as she tried to catch her breath.
Rainbow Dash looked up at Sunset. “So… huff… puff…” she said. “When do you think you’ll be tired of… huff… puff… tired of ruling over the students?”
“Hmmmm…” Sunset put on a thoughtful expression and stared up at the ceiling as she tapped an index finger against her chin. She looked back down at Rainbow Dash and smiled sweetly. “Oh, I guess somewhere between now and never because this is the best thing to happen to me ever!” she said as her sweet smile exploded into a massive grin.
Rainbow Dash groaned and placed her head back on the table.
Rarity frowned as she peeled the skin off a grape. “You can at least let us have chairs!”
Sunset shook her head. “No way! I know how powerful they can be! I’m not letting the students arm themselves so they can rebel against me.”
Fluttershy swallowed the cheese in her mouth. “My legs are tired…”
“Come on guys!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Think about how muscly our calves are going to become!”
Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all groaned.
‘SLAM!’
Sunset immediately sat up in her chair as she recognized the sound of the cafeteria doors slamming open. “HEY!” she cried. “I specifically decreed that…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah…”
Sunset’s eyes went wide as Adagio, Aria, and Sonata walked in, harmonizing and swaying their hips. This wasn’t nearly as distressing as the red gems each one wore around their neck.
“WHAT?!” Sunset cried and dove her a hand into her jacket than her other as she frantically searched her pockets. “How could they do that when… when…” Sunset’s eyes went wide as he turned her empty pockets inside out. “… when they don’t have their jewels…?” she murmured.
“Oh, those!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
The other girls all turned towards Pinkie.
“Pinkie,” Sunset growled out, “what did you do?!”
“I traded them for something beeeetteeeeer~!”
Sunset’s face contorted and twisted in rage as she attempted to work her mouth in the hopes something coherent would come out of it, but angry, throaty growls was all she managed.
“Good heavens, Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed. “They were magical gems that allowed them to syphon energy from the students! What could possibly have been better?!”
Pinkie cheerfully reached into her mop of pink hair and pulled out three colorful, squat cone-shaped items, each one about an inch and a half in diameter with a circular metal edge at the top.
Fluttershy looked at the items in confusion. “Those… are tops?”
“No silly!” Pinkie said. “Beyblades! Let it rip, yo!”
The other girls stared at Pinkie in disbelief, their lower jaws all hanging unhinged from their upper ones.
Sunset smacked her forehead with a palm. “God pupping lamb it all to shell, Pinkie.”
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Sequel you say?
You do know most of the chapter is bolded for no apparent reason, right?
Real comment after I finish reading.
5080262
Fixed! Thanks.
Some weird GDocs shenanigans there.
I will be ready for this.....sequel.
TIBBLES!
This paragraph needs a few more words, I think.
I'd just like to say that while Rainbow Rocks turned out to be surprisingly amazing, this story is still at least as good, though in different ways.
That has the same number of syllables, and syllabic rhythm as "If we work together helping Twilight win the crown!" from EG1... Parody it, maybe?
Hey! Hey! Ev'rybody!
Join our singing brigade,
Or just keep on asking,
"How'd Pinkie get Beyblades?"
Now we're singing to the rhythm...
Of EG1,
Now I point at you,
Why no Sunset here?
STOP!
This will cause some shipping,
Sonata Blaze?
Hey, don't take off your headphones,
'Cause we need you to save
Us from Dazzling music, we need costumes, where's the fun?
Back to the rehearsal, Allons-y, we gotta run!
Time to sing,
This song,
I just don't know what went wrong!
“Why is Sunset Shimmer throwing chairs at everyone?”
So pick up,
A chair,
Sunset throws 'em ev'rywhere!
“Why is Sunset Shimmer throwing pupping chairs at everyone?”
A sequel? Just when I though this couldn't get any better...
And so, everything, (more or less) starts over.
Thanks you for writing this. It made my day.
I will read any fics that feature the Dazzlings doing stupid things at school.
I am ready.
For the sequel.
Altough I liked Rainbow Rocks I think they modified Sunset Shimmer personality a little too much. I particullarly prefer the one in this fic.
Okay, I should probably read this sometime later.
Looking through all off the comments already had me laughing
Well, if she uses them correctly they can be quite the weapon.
Nice out-takes/deleted scenes chapter. I'm a bit curious as to why Luna has an opossum but it was good to see what the school administration thought of all this.
5080592
Consarn it, I was going to quote that line and point out how amusing it was.
5081550
Luna has an opossum as a reference to the IDW comics.
5080592
This swear made 10 people in the audience facepalm, 3 burst out laughing, one confused, another one dizzy, a little filly sad, one holler in rage, one just stare with deadpan annoyance, one squeak that it was "so awesome", and made Fluttershy scream.
This is beautiful, and I await the Sequel eagerly.
I love your Celestia in this. Both the fact that Philomena is her pet, and that she's clearly phoning it in as principal. I definitely got the impression from the movie that Celestia had reached the stage in her career where you put whiskey in your coffee every day.
I agree with 5080846 , I like your version of Sunset better. She values friendship now, but she still has her old personality. Too bad Flash is taken. If only we knew of a male misanthrope with an explosive temper, a passion for revenge, and a soft spot for their pet somewhere in the Hasbro universe, we could set them up!
5080441
As someone who includes parodies of songs from the show (none from the movies yet...) in their stories as often as possible, I very much appreciated your addition to the somewhat silly tradition. Nicely done!
5083983 Where are your parodies of the songs?
5083990
I've only got one published so far, ("As often as possible" is a saddeningly low frequency) about 3/4 of the way through this chapter, but the next will be part of a story in the Stallionverse, to be submitted shortly after Thunder and Lightning is finished, if all goes well.
The rest are in stories I won't be completing for a while.
5084012 I read it. What's it a parody of?
5084025
A metal version of the song in 'Bats'.
...I'm now wondering if AJ singing about banding together to stop fruitbats would have worked better in the human world if performed during lunchtime, Sunset possibly being attacked for... Not actively stomping on a bat, or something.
*Applause*
Ohmigosh, background humans for realzies!
Your EqG universe is one of the best.
What did I just read?
AMAZING! I haven't laugh that much in years! Loved it!
)
(The only thing that it would have been better is seeing Sonata and Aria doing those dumb things like your did with Adagio. Sonata licking the other two faces....that killed me
Still I loved it!
5094224
I love when people pick up my references days, weeks, or even months after I've written something.
That was pretty amazing. :D I'm please someone else understands the power of cafeteria songs. I'm so looking forward to the sequel when it's done!
Okay, I am officially sold now. Your fics are awesome, hilarious, and extremely well written and I don't think I'll be able to stop reading them. Curse you......and your little dog too...
Well, that was a delightful glob of insanity. Now for the sequel!
BEYBLADE! BEYBLADE! LET IT RIP!
A friend and I are currently reading thru this on livestream in our spare time. WE got up to chapter 3.
Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdkyhIHIxYI
Part 2 http://youtu.be/Y47TnVBIHV0
We finished up the story. http://youtu.be/qUA5yjgZEac
PMS is a bi– I mean, flinch.
Ok here:
Parts 1
Part 2
And Part 3
Thank this guy
5114686 though you have one and two, and posted before me, I have one, two And three With working YouTube links
;)
⸘Do you know what this story needs‽ ¡InterroBangs!
5081550
The opossum is Tiberius from the comics.
5171301 The only thing more insane would be either Dean Ambrose or AJ Lee.
5146580
Tiberius! Huzzah!
5189321
Heh. Nice.
Damn u Sunset Shimmer. Why do u get to throw chairs at everyone?! Im jealous. Wish i could throw chairs at every person i hate. And i have a long list of people i hate
And so, the Chairmerican Revolution began
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5080246 Do you have a deviantart profile?
EET IS THE BEEYYYBLEEEHHHDDD!
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120407184547/warhammer40k/images/f/f7/Appoo.png
This was one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time. I really enjoyed the tone of it, and the way everything flowed. There were many memorable moments and lines ("You can't just throw the concept of sports at me" for example), and the part where Sunset chucked chairs at everything that moved was both unbelievably hilarious and satisfying.
The only thing that really threw me was the ending. I cannot put my finger on why, but something about it rubbed me wrong. Honestly, I kept expecting the Sirens to stumble on each other again and topple Sunset off her throne and into a puddle of mud, followed by everyone staring in silence, shrugging, and going to get a pizza while Sunset mutters "I hate everything" into the mud. (oddly specific, I know). But yeah, there was something off about that chapter, and I genuinely wish I could tell you what it was. I guess it was just off balance somehow. This is the only real problem I had though, and the rest of the writing's quality far outweighs that for me.
This fic is definitely one of my all-time favorites, and I'll be re-reading it in the future. Fantastic job!
4834133
What was your first clue?