“War upon stone and it grows weaker.
War upon mare and she grows stronger.
Which shall your wall be built of?”
—Mark of the Bulwarks
My classmates were staring.
They thought they were being sneaky, but it was easy to tell. I’d see them gawking from the corners of my eyes, or pick up hushed whispers on the edge of my hearing. Sometimes I’d look up and catch their gaze for a split second before they'd hurriedly look away, as if they'd seen something they shouldn't have. Even Diamond Tiara sat unusually silent.
Well, okay. All things considered, I probably looked barbaric. Not like I had any time to freshen up this morning, considering how late I had woken up.
But hey, if it was enough to shut Diamond Tiara up, maybe I could come to school like this more often.
...Horseapples. I was getting distracted again.
I looked back at my unfinished math homework, but my eyes began glazing over the unanswered problems as I struggled to block out the mutterings of my classmates.
Grrrr. If only my sister had helped me this morning...
Well, I guess I couldn’t resent Rarity too much. It wasn’t exactly her fault that I had forgotten to even do my homework. Plus, it's not like she had time to see me this morning, given the massive number of dress orders she'd been toiling over throughout the last few months or so.
As I was about to groan in frustration, another sound intruded upon my awareness—a series of familiar hoofsteps approaching my desk. There was an unusual, clipped hesitance to them, but even then I could recognize the sound of my best friend's almost bubbly gait from anywhere.
Finally. A welcome distraction.
Setting down my pencil, I mustered my best smile and turned to greet her.
“Hey Apple Bloom.”
“Gah!” She jumped—a little higher than usual, at that—and glared at me as she used a hoof to still the wobbling pink bow adorning her red mane. “Jeez, Sweetie. You know that freaks me out, right?”
“Well, sorry,” I said with a grin. “You have a funny-sounding trot.”
“Yeah, whatever Timberine,” she muttered, punching me lightly on the shoulder.
Ow. Some days I wondered if she remembered she was an earth pony.
As I rubbed my shoulder, I couldn’t help but notice some odd things about my friend—a crooked clip to her smile, a nervous tic in her eyes, the hairs on her yellow coat standing on end.
Something was off with her.
“Hey, is something up?” I prodded. “You seem a little… antsy.”
“Umm…”
I smirked, and leaned in conspiratorially to whisper, “You finally gonna ask Button Mash out?”
“Ask— No!” she stammered, blanching. “I ain’t askin’ nopony out!”
Hah. She was so easy to tease sometimes. Her crush on our boyish schoolmate wasn't exactly news to me or Scootaloo, even if she refused to admit it. The truth was obvious after she begged for us to let him join the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
I mean, okay, it hurt just a little bit knowing that she didn’t trust us enough to reveal the truth, but I figured she was still trying to sort it out for herself.
Wouldn’t stop me from teasing her endlessly though.
“Besides,” she said, composing herself enough to speak straight, the blush never quite leaving her cheeks. “This ain’t about me. It’s about you.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “What about me?”
“Well, yanno…”
“Something on my face?” That would explain all the staring. I plastered my hoof on my forehead and wiped quickly.
“Err— no, nothin’s on yer face,” she replied.
“You know, you don’t have to be that awestruck by my irresistibly good looks,” I said, sweeping my dashingly-luxurious locks for added panache.
She spared me a look so flat it'd get her kicked off the school choir.
“…Seriously, Sweetie?"
I giggled. But then I leaned in, lowering my voice to avoid anyone overhearing. “I know I look like crap today. I was up playing Eternity, and I ended up staying up late and oversleeping a bit.”
I didn’t mention my homework, or why it wasn't done—it was embarrassing enough bringing up my hobby again, even though she was one of the very few who knew about it.
“That’s great and all, I guess,“ she replied, wrinkling her brow in confusion, “but that ain’t what I’m talking about.“
As I opened my mouth to respond, I couldn't help but notice the approach of a familiar, brown-coated figure from behind the filly.
Ooh, this was gonna be good.
“Then what are you talking about?“ I asked in a disarming tone.
“Ain't it obvious? I'm—“
“WOAH! That’s awesome!” exclaimed the colt's nasally voice, right behind her. “Congrats, Sweetie!”
“EEP!” Apple Bloom nearly jumped out of her horseshoes as Button made his presence known. I hadn’t said anything, of course—the lovestruck filly’s reaction was totally worth it—but I didn’t have time to relish in her fright as I digested what Button had said.
“Wait, what’s awesome?” I asked as he pulled me into a tight hug.
“Your mark!” he exclaimed as if the entire world needed to hear about my nerdy late-night achievements. “You were awesome last night in Eternity, and if it scored you that for helping us net the World First kill, you totally deserve—”
“For Sun’s sake, not so loud!” I shouted, feeling my face heat up. “You know I don’t want everypony to know!"
Ugh! That colt and his loud mouth. What did Apple Bloom even see in him?!
Whatever. At least he’ll shut up once she finally spills the beans to her and the two get all smoochy.
“Besides,” I continued, “it’s an in-game item! Titan Marks are just little capes!”
“Er, I dunno what ya mean by ‘Titan Mark,’” said Apple Bloom in clear confusion, “but, uh, it’s kinda right there on yer flank…”
“Yep! Everyone can see!” grinned Button. “And it looks wicked.”
“Y-yeah, what Button said!” Apple Bloom managed a weak smile.
I facehoofed. Did she even know what she was talking about?
At this point, everyone in class was staring. I blushed, and turned to whisper to my friends.
“Apple Bloom, this is a video game, don’t worry about it. Button, you don’t even need me to tell you that Titan Marks aren’t real, it's not like you can actually wear them in real life—”
Suddenly, a certain pink filly in the corner decided that now was a fantastic time to break her silence… by dissolving into uproarious laughter.
“Ahahaha!” she guffawed, her punctuated laughing making her sound like a snobbier Pinkie Pie. “I never thought the day would come, but I’ve actually discovered something in life that is simply too rich, even for me!”
Great. Just fantastic. The whole class knew, and now Diamond Tiara was laughing at me so hard she was making dad jokes.
…Haha. Get it? Because her dad was literally rich, and she was making a joke about being rich, and wow I should stop now because that was awful and please never try to be a comedian, Sweetie.
“Oh my Stars!” She guffawed some more, her pointed hoof shaking so wildly it looked like she was having an aneurysm—if only the world were so kind. “The clueless dimwit is so completely in denial of her pathetic hobby that she won’t even admit she got a cutie mark for it!”
She dissolved into unending laughter once again. Ooh, mare was I gonna give that girl a piece of my mind—
Wait. Did she just say...? Surely she meant—
Suddenly, there was a loud crashing noise outside that, through many a year of crusading with my best friends, I had long come to associate with a certain pegasus.
“You what?!” yelled Scootaloo as her orange form barreled through the front door of the classroom behind Button, her scooter skidding across the hardwood floor and scattering a deluge of grass and leaves in its wake. “Did I hear you got your—HOLY HORSEAPPLES! YOU GOT YOUR CUTIE MARK!”
What. Sweetie Belle did not recognize that input. Please try again.
“Yeah, except she’s actin’ real weird about gettin’ it!” chirped Apple Bloom. “It’s like she’s pretending that she didn’t!” Diamond was still laughing.
WHAT. Sweetie Belle has stopped responding.
“Shut up, Diamond!” yelled Scootaloo, rounding on her. “Maybe she just didn’t notice she got it, or something!”
Diamond paused, stared at Scootaloo, then redoubled her laughter.
WHAT. No. Impossible. This had to be some kind of prank. Surely if I had gotten my cutie mark, I would have seen it while getting ready! Or Rarity would have said something…
…except you hadn’t even seen her this morning, you numbskull.
“Hey!” exclaimed Twist randomly in the corner, looking up from her desk suddenly. “Thith is a great example of cognitive dithonance!”
Huh? Sweetie Belle does not compute.
“Cognitive what?” asked Diamond. “What are you even blathering about now?”
“It’s on tomorrow’th teth! ’Cognitive dith… dissonance,’” she slowly enunciated through her lisp, grinning as she did so. “You”, she gestured at me with a hoof, “are uncomfortable becauthe new knowledge hath been introduthed that conflicth with what you already know. To avoid the dithcomfort, you either downplay ith importanth or reject it entirely out of denial. And right now, you’re rejecting it!”
Clearly satisfied with her psychoanalytical evaluation of my current predicament, she sat down, beaming like she was the most brilliant filly in the world. I stared at her, bewildered.
“That’s a fine example, Twist,” came a louder voice that took on a motherly, authoritative tone, “and I’d give you full marks, but I’m afraid that this is actually not on tomorrow's test, and you’re several chapters ahead as usual.”
Like the world’s most fascinating tennis match, every head turned, but this time to look at our fuschia-coated teacher, Miss Cheerilee, who had strode into the room. A few snickers broke out, but they were quickly silenced as Miss Cheerilee looked at me once again. I felt myself quail under her gaze.
“Really, honey, I know you may have gotten a cutie mark in something rather… er, unconventional,” she said as gently as she could, sounding all the world as if she were telling me that my sister had just died in a horrific accident, “but you should be proud. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?”
“Yeah, Sweetie! I mean, ya kinda beat us to it, but… ya got yer cutie mark!”
“It’s awesome! I want one just like it!”
“I mean, sure, it's super-obvious you're an egghead now, but at least you’re our egghead!”
I was once again engulfed in a hug by my three best friends.
“I…”
All of a sudden, words failed me. I had wanted this my entire life.
Apple Bloom noticed my hesitance. “What’s wrong?”
“Scootaloo’s right,” I admitted sheepishly. “I don’t remember getting it at all. I haven't even seen it yet.”
I noticed Diamond break into laughter again, but we ignored her completely.
“Seriously?” piped Apple Bloom, giving me an incredulous look as they released their hold. “So you don't even know what your cutie mark is? Or when you got it?”
I wracked my brain, trying to remember when it could have appeared.
Everything was chaos, and I was dashing through the thickest of it.
Explosions of fiery red and searing cobalt blossomed to life, threatening to embrace my small figure in their otherworldly flames. I sprinted with almost suicidal abandon through the hellish blaze that erupted from every corner, holding a shield before me to stave off the worst of the incoming damage. Errant strands of fire leaked around the glowing bulwark, bouncing off my armor and singeing my mane.
All around me were the dilapidated underground ruins of the Citadel of Infinity, vast platforms of shaped stone overgrown with flora from millennia of dormancy. I, Dovetail, a Crusader of the Last City in Equestria, had led five fellow Crusaders into the deepest, darkest chambers of the ancient complex, braving countless hordes of the cybernetically-modified dragons of the Hex Collective in order to uncover the relics and knowledge ensconced within since eons past.
Right now, that wasn’t going so well.
As the incoming fire let up, I momentarily glanced over my shield, and was met with the sight of a massive draconic machine-wyrm towering before me: Theralon, Time’s Conflux, the last obstacle between us and all the secrets of the Citadel.
For the moment, his focus was elsewhere. His wings groaned under its mechanical augmentations as purple beams lanced from the ancient weapons mounted upon them, impacting somewhere to the far left. I raised the revolver in my right hoof and aimed it at the hulking frame of the machine-wyrm. Three shots rang from my trusty Hawkmoon, impacting upon Theralon's side with metallic warbles.
“Dovetail, it worked! He’s turning to face you!” crackled a nasally voice over my communicator.
The white eyes of the axis lord turned to focus on me, his many angular metal scales readjusting his weapons as they acquired their new target. I had lured his attentions as I had planned, but I knew that if I stayed there any longer, I would be a dead Titan.
“You good now, Mash?!” I yelled into the comms. The monstrosity’s eye began glowing.
“Yeah, I’m good! He’s not firing on me anymore! Go help Freya, she’s pinned!”
Shots rang out in the distance. I glanced towards my right and could see a hail of fire peppering a low wall, behind which a gryphon lie crouched, frantically reloading her machine gun.
I swerved to dodge an incoming pulse of bright violet flame from the machine-wyrm and made my way to the beleaguered gryphon, leaping over the low wall. As I landed, I slammed my shield into the ground—a bubble of ethereal energy burst from the relic, sheltering us within its protective cover.
Now safe, we had a moment to breathe. I turned to ascertain the state of my fellow Crusader.
“Finally! What took ya, shorty?!” snarled the Bladedancer in strained relief as she slammed the hatch shut on her light machine gun. “Do you know how long it takes to load this fuckin' thing?!”
“Sorry, Freya!” I apologized, using the moment to load another fresh cylinder of rounds into my hand cannon. “I was trying to draw Theralon's fire from Mash. He’s safe now.”
“Yeah, well while you were off protecting our squishy little Gunslinger, a bunch of Hex spawned right behind me!” She glanced outside the sphere, beyond which a mass of mechanized whelps and drakes continued their advance on our position from a few dozen yards away. They peppered the shield with small arms fire. “I’d kinda like not to get bent over backwards after fighting this douchecanoe for the last hour.”
“Is anyone else nearby that can take the pressure off us?” I asked into the comms.
“Right here!” came a voice to the left. As we turned, two ponies slid through the bubble into position beside us.
“Zaid! Shadow Song!” I sighed in relief. “Mare, am I glad to see you. We could really use the help.”
“Yeah, uhh, about that, Dovey,” came the accented drawl of the beige horse, dropping to a squat to catch his breath, his shotgun clinking loudly against his armor as he slung it over his shoulder. Even at rest, the Saddle Arabian still stood several heads taller than me. “We, uh, kinda-sorta had a dozen or so Supplicants chasing us.”
I stared at Zaid. “What.” Over his shoulder, the red glare of the ethereal specters advanced towards our position.
“We already have to deal with these minions!” growled Freya, batting a wing at the encroaching legion.
“And we drew Theralon's fire!” I pointed a shaking hoof at the hulking monstrosity, who was battering our bubble with wave after wave of void energy.
“The Supplicants were gonna overwhelm us if we didn’t regroup with you,” said the other pony, a lithe stallion in flowing robes. The sniper rifle at his side looked spent.
“Here, Shadow.” I tossed him a pack of ammo. He smiled at me as he whisked it out of the air with a glowing white aura, slapping a fresh mag into his rifle.
“Well, all Hel is gonna descend on us in about a minute if we don’t figure something out,” said Freya in a low growl.
“We’re so close,” Zaid grumbled. “Feels like the hundredth time we’ve tried this fight today, and I’m gonna tear my mane out if we need to do it again.”
I was exhausted too. We’d been at this for hours, and this was the fourth day’s worth of attempts alone. But, despite millions of people around the world having attempted to breach the Citadel in the last week, no one had ever completely done this before, and we were mostly on our own in figuring out how to do so ourselves.
On the other hand, that meant that if we did manage this, we would be the first ones in the entire world to do so. And we'd made it super far into the fight. This was the very last phase. We just needed to go in for the killing blow... with a million other Hex soldiers on our tail.
“Well, Dovetail? What’s the plan?” asked Shadow.
Everyone turned to me, the team leader. As the one who had directed our efforts in this place thus far, I was expected to devise a solution. Suddenly, I felt very small—well, smaller than usual, at least. I sighed, then concentrated on the situation at hand, taking everything I could into account.
“Alright. Theralon's on his last legs, and my Fist of Havoc is powered up,” I said, holding a hoof up. It coursed with power, arcs of lightning bouncing off its surface. “If I can get close to him, we can end this once and for all.”
“Yeah, newsflash, his entire damned army is between us and him,” said Freya. “How are we gonna get that close if we’re surrounded by Hex?”
“That's where Zaid and Shadow come in. You two, handle the Supplicants.”
“Now that I’ve got ammo, I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” said Shadow, readying his sniper rifle.
“Same,” added Zaid. “I’ll get in the middle, draw their attention, and catch their fire if I need to.”
“Great. Freya, I’m gonna need you to lay down some covering fire while I charge Theralon.”
“You got it,” she affirmed. Her talons wrapped around the action on her machine gun, pulling it back with a satisfying click-clack. The exotic weapon began coursing with lightning energy as it powered up. “Thunderlord can cull their numbers by a good chunk.”
Not all of them. I looked at the mass of whelps. “Mash, you still alive?”
“Alive and kickin'!” crackled Mash over the comms. “Nothing’s firing on me right now, so I'll be able to peg 'em from behind.”
“Good to hear.” There was one more card to play. “Stranger, you all clear?”
“Yes. I can lend my assistance,” intoned a mare over the comms. “I've dealt with the oracles that were casting their shield on Theralon. My Nova Bomb is ready, and I’m heading to you now.”
“Stranger!” exclaimed Shadow in relief. “We could really use your horn right now!”
The protective aura surrounding us flickered as it began to falter under the combined fire of our enemies.
“How long till you get here, Stranger?” I asked the mare. “My bubble’s gonna drop in about twenty seconds!”
“Expect me in ten.”
“Alright!” I replied, then turned back to my three teammates. “You all know what to do! We move in ten seconds! Everybody ready?”
“Hel yeah.”
“Ready.”
“Locked and loaded.”
“Okay.” I raised my shield and readied my revolver. “Let’s do this.”
We all turned to behold the mass of enemies converging on us.
Three.
We crouched into ready stances, preparing to pounce as soon as the bubble dropped.
Two.
I faced towards Theralon and his glowering eyes—my vision narrowed, and the rest of the world turned dark as I fixated on my sole target.
One.
Burning energy washed over us as the enemy fire finally overwhelmed the shield—it flared out of existence.
Now.
We leapt into action.
I sprinted forward, holding my shield before me and firing potshots with my Hawkmoon at anything that stood in my way. Freya’s Thunderlord began roaring as it poured electrified lead into the crowd, felling Hex left and right in spades—but there were still too many.
As I advanced, I bashed a few whelps out of my way with my shield. Behind me, I heard the Thunderlord click empty.
Uh-oh.
"Uhhh, Stranger, where are you?!" I yelled over the comms.
"I've been beset by Hex!" came her crackling reply, filled with gunfire and explosions. "My arrival will be delayed!"
Horseapples!
"Shove off, I'm comin' down there!" came a shout behind me.
I rolled to the left just in time to hear a burst of crackling electricity speed past me. Standing up, I caught Freya's manic grin as she surged forward, claws outstretched, her entire body lit by a pulsating aura of pure white energy.
The Vex barely stood a chance as she leapt from whelp to drake, tearing apart their energy shields and ripping them to shreds with her electrified talons. I stood up and began sprinting again, making a beeline towards my friend as more whelps converged on her. She spread her wings, which coursed with energy, then beat them powerfully—a shockwave of electricity exploded from her form, sweeping across the surrounding whelps and shattering them en masse.
I leapt over the shockwave, letting it pass under me, and soared cleanly over the gryphon warrior, landing on the other side.
"Thanks for the clear!" I yelled, then continued making my way forward. Though Freya had significantly dented the enemy numbers, there was still a veritable sea of enemies before us. The roar of the Thunderlord began anew as we continued to plow through the enemy phalanx.
"I'm here!" yelled a voice above.
I looked up. A tall slender unicorn appeared on the edge of my vision, floating like an ethereal angel above the battlefield, a churning sphere of darkness growing between her forehooves. The Warlock nodded once at me before turning to the crowd of Hex, unleashing her wrath upon them—the orb of energy soared towards the legion and impacted amid their ranks, blasting them to oblivion and washing the battlefield in darkness.
As I sprinted forward, I was engulfed in the churning cloud produced by my friend’s attack. Theralon was just on the other side. Readying my shield and bracing myself, I burst from the miasma, beholding the glowing eye before me.
But it wasn’t Theralon's.
Somehow, a Harpy had interposed itself between me and my target—the triangular mechanical amalgam of bronze armor plating floated before me, its bulbous red eye charging up to set me aflame. I prepared to raise my Hawkmoon, but I knew it wouldn’t be enough.
Out of nowhere, a barrage of bullets impacted several points on the Harpy's fins—it made a crowing noise, then angrily turned its focus to our left, where a brown colt was charging from some ways away.
"I got this!" yelled Mash as he peppered the aggravated Harpy with sustained bursts of automatic fire. "Get moving!"
Button, I could kiss you.
I turned back to face my target. Theralon, the Conflux of Time, towered over me some thirty meters away, his entire body lit with an angry white glare. The air around me heated with the energy of his weapons as they began to charge.
I emptied the last few rounds of the Hawkmoon into his chest, then, with a thrust from the liftpacks on my legs, leapt into the air above him. I cast away the shield and revolver and looked down at my target—his eye beheld me as I ascended before him, lasers locking onto every exposed vital point on my figure as the machine-wyrm prepared to roast me alive.
I drew every ounce of magic from my body as I could, forcing the energy into my hooves. They crackled with otherworldly earthen magic as I held them before me.
This ended now.
Every weapon on Theralon’s body erupted as they unleashed their Helfire upon me—I descended upon him, my hooves slamming into his metallic form.
I screamed.
And all went white.
The room was dark. One bright flickering light shone, illuminating a small den filled with game boxes, massive posters, assorted figurines and paraphernalia, and... more than a few empty TV dinner trays. Perhaps I would have thought that last bit embarrassing, had I not instead been transfixed to the stratoscreen, a controller in my shaking hooves, beads of sweat rolling down my coat.
“Did… did we actually do it?” I muttered into my headset.
“Yeah… yeah, I think we did,” came the nasally voice of Mash.
We had anticipated this moment for months. Prepared for weeks. Devoured every morsel of info we could find. Planned out every possible encounter. Equipped the best gear we could scour off the many dark creatures that had fallen before us. And when the gates to the Citadel of Infinity had opened, I—Dovetail, Crusader of the Last City—and five other intrepid members of my guild, Sanctuary, had poured in, dedicating several hours over the last four days to clear each chamber, to learn every encounter, to struggle against every foe.
And now, after days of near non-stop effort, our fireteam—consisting of people who I had known for well over the past year, who had come from as far away as the cold mountain spires of Gryphos and the blazing sands of Saddle Arabia—stood before the Gates of Infinity.
Victorious.
Our Harmony had prevailed. Theralon, Time’s Conflux, lie defeated at our very hooves.
“We got ’em,” piped up one voice.
“Fuckin’ got ’em,” another swore gleefully over the mic.
“FUCKIN’ got ’em,” a third one echoed.
“HELL YEAH. Theralon can SUCK A—”
The voice comms erupted in boisterous laughter and raucous celebration. I leaned back in my seat, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, as some of the most foul-mouthed exclamations of merriment and victory filled my ears.
We had won.
And better yet, we were the first ones to do it. In the entire world.
The realization hit me, and I smiled even brighter.
“Thanks, you guys,” I squeaked.
The comms sobered up, and one by one, they spoke.
“Yeah, Dove. Thanks,” said Mash.
“Well done, Dovetail,” intoned Stranger.
“You go, Dovey,” said Shadow Song.
“Dovetail for Princess!” cheered Zaid.
“Who’s the man? DOVE's the man. Err… kinda,” chuckled Freya.
Tears filled my eyes. “I couldn’t have done it without you guys. You’re the best clanmates ever.”
“Aww, don’t get sappy on us, Dovey! You shoulda heard yourself. Taking command like nopony’s business.”
“Pfft. Good thing I’m not a pony. I can do whatever I want!”
“And that’s why my damage ratings are higher than yours!”
“Oh? Wanna check the meters, Shadow? Pretty sure I scored more crits on the boss than you.”
“I sincerely doubt either of you will have numbers quite as high as our young Dove's.”
“Hah! Whatever. Dove can bite my tail feathers.”
Everyone laughed, I the hardest of all. Some of my friends were pretty crude, but they were my friends. It didn’t matter whether I knew them in real life or not—we had been together, side by side, in good times and bad. Not just in the game, but elsewhere—when I doubted myself, they always managed to make me feel like the most important little filly in the world.
“C’mon, everypo— everybody. Let’s take a screenie for the net.”
Everyone gathered their characters together. They posed, they danced, they saluted. I smiled and tapped the Share button. As the stratoscreen captured the image, there was a white flash, so blinding that I actually had to blink a few times to clear my vision afterwards.
Perhaps it knew what we did.
I chuckled as I shared my last moments of celebration with my friends before logging out and flopping onto my bed in utter exhaustion. After all, in our hearts, we knew that it was true: for the next twenty four hours, we were indeed the most important people in the world.
The flash of the screen faded from my memory.
I blinked.
Mere seconds had passed. All of my friends were staring at me, awaiting my next move.
I blinked again.
And then I turned my head.
There, on my flank, glistening effervescently in the morning sun, was my cutie mark: a pearl-white dove, gracefully taking flight, a video game controller in its talons.
I blinked once more. Just to make sure this was real.
Sure enough, the image did not change.
...
Wow. What a stupid cutie mark.
Class continued as usual, though the staring didn't stop even amid the lessons. Clearly, my new cutie mark was far more fascinating than the birth of the Stratonet.
Phwat.
Grrr. That was the second spitball now. They had good aim.
I felt my anger bubbling to the surface, and I was tempted to whirl around and give them a piece of my mind—
No. I needed to calm myself and focus.
I breathed in, and I breathed out. Just like Rarity taught me.
Mind of teacher. Mind of lesson. Mind of bullies. Too many minds.
No mind.
And I closed my eyes.
My ears flicked, and the world came into sharp aural clarity. I could hear the scratching of notes on paper. I could hear the yawning of the student across the room. I could hear the poot of a new spitball ejecting from its barrel to race inexorably towards my temple.
Four o'clock.
I opened my eyes and snapped my head towards the offending projectile.
There it was.
My horn glowed, and a split second later, a hovering wad of paper came into focus mere centimeters from my nose, caught in a soft mint-green aura of protective magic.
Diamond Tiara stared from across the room. Apple Bloom clapped her hooves to her mouth. Scootaloo's jaw dropped.
And the wad of paper fell to the floor.
"You are a badass," whispered Scootaloo, her eyes glittering. "Please marry me."
"Hmph!" Her attempt foiled, Diamond stuck her nose the other way. I grinned at my own cleverness. I hadn't actually caught it in midair like it seemed—I had just created a force-field roughly the size of my face, which had engulfed the spitball like a net.
But they weren't unicorns. They didn't have to know.
I turned around, my damn-near cinematic success at protecting my head from saliva-infused paper artillery having done much to dissipate my irritation. But now I needed to focus again.
With another deep inhale, I worked to clear my mind. Just like Rarity taught me.
"Sweetie Belle?" came a voice from the front of the room.
"Er…" I opened my eyes. "Yes, Miss Cheerilee?"
She smiled softly. "My apologies for interrupting your focus exercises. I'll repeat the question." A few students snickered a little bit.
Screw off. It wasn't my fault I needed this to concentrate. Or that I was currently being assailed by inter-table ballistic missiles.
"From what you can remember of our Thaumology courses, can you remind the class who predominantly refined the magical applications of gemstones, and how?"
Easy.
"Of course," I replied. "Miss Twili— er, Archmage Sparkle and Grand Alchemist Zecora. They studied the Elements of Harmony, gemstones that each contained a powerful spell."
"Correct," she affirmed, drawing a five-point shape with a sixth in the middle. "What other important realization did they make, when all of the Elements were put together?"
"They were more powerful when combined. Each Element had its own spell—like Loyalty, which held the Elements together; Laughter, which generated magical power; and Generosity, which distributed the power to the other Elements—that could work together to power another spell."
"Yes again! And it is from these realizations that she created…?"
"A self-powered magical circuit, one that could constantly run a specific spell by carefully generating and regulating its own energy."
"Correct, as usual. Ten points to Gryphondor." The class chuckled at her reference. "And it was the Zecora-Sparkle Thaumic Circuit," Miss Cheerilee explained, finishing her pentagon and writing a large 'TC' next to it, "that allowed us to record information into gems, storing data and energy far more effectively than books, tapes, and batteries."
Miss Cheerilee then drew a huge web of interconnecting lines, floating above a rough drawing of Equestria.
"The 'Stratonet', named because it mostly exists in the stratosphere, is the most important invention we've made from TCs so far. It's a network that can send information through the skies anywhere in Equestria, and many other countries in the world, making it extremely useful for communication and—" she winked at me, and I flushed, "—entertainment, as I'm sure young Sweetie Belle and Button Mash are well aware."
Another round of giggles. Did she really have to keep pointing that out…?
"In order to help visualize this data, large, magically-infused sheets of paper called 'stratoscreens' were invented…"
"Psst."
The hissing sound came from behind me.
Just ignore it.
"Psst!"
Horseapples. It was too late—my focus had fallen apart completely.
I prepared to do my breathing exercises again.
"PSST!"
Oh, for Sun's sake!
Fuming, I flipped around. "What—"
A paper airplane smacked into my face.
She had really good aim.
Grumbling, I unfolded Diamond Tiara's little airplane.
Scribbled on the paper was a single word in red.
"GAYMARE"
"I'm sorry."
I fixed my gaze to the surface of my teacher's desk, not quite ready to meet Miss Cheerilee's. All around us, kids were packing up to go home.
"I know you are, honey. And I'm not angry with you, of course not," Miss Cheerilee said consolingly as she looked up from my unfinished math assignment. "Just... you've been doing so well lately, but this is the third time this week. Are you falling into old habits again?"
"K-kinda," I said honestly. "I was just really... preoccupied last night."
She raised an eyebrow. "...With your video games."
"...Yeah." I scratched the back of my neck with a hoof.
This wasn't going well.
"What of the egg timer?" she asked, referring to a tool I used to help me regulate my work patterns.
"I... purposefully didn't set it."
You had no one to blame but yourself.
"I see." She clicked her tongue, clearly disappointed. "And your sister?"
"Rarity was too busy with work to help me out in the morning."
She sighed again. Each one felt like another painful stab in the chest.
"Sweetie, listen. I know you're a brilliant student when you really set your mind to it. I want to help you, I really do."
I knew that to be true. All of those visits with Rarity were a testament to that.
"But you know that I can't help you if you aren't helping yourself."
I knew that too. And it's not like I didn't want to. I just sucked at it.
"It seems like a lot of the safeguards we've helped you establish rely on each other too much. If one of them fails, the rest of them do as well."
"I know," I said out loud this time, not wanting to seem like I wasn't listening. "I really wish I could just remember to get things done. I know that's not an excuse, but sometimes it's just... difficult."
Couldn't really double-check the checklist if I keep forgetting the checklist exists.
Miss Cheerilee clicked her tongue again, then leaned back in her chair with a sigh, shuffling through the papers on her desk. "Well, you know the rules. I don't accept incomplete work, and anything you turn in late is half-credit."
"I understand." I lowered my head again.
How could I forget the rules, after years of this?
My eyes drifted to the windows, where Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stood on the other side, awaiting my verdict. I felt heat rush to my face again.
As if I didn't have enough things to be embarrassed about today.
I gave them a meaningful smile and shook my head. They nodded knowingly, and turned to walk away.
Then, I noticed Diamond Tiara standing just to the side of them. Apparently she hadn't chosen to go home yet.
O Celestia, what horrible fate hast thou wrought upon me, tyrant of tyrants, merciless—
"But considering your procrastination did earn you a cutie mark..."
Huh? I looked back at her. She was smiling again.
"I suppose I can make an exception this time. If you can get it back to me by the end of the week, I won't say anything to Rarity, and I'll eliminate the late penalty."
"...Thank you, Miss Cheerilee." O Celestia, you glorious, most incorrigible of souls, never shall my tongue slander your good name again—
"This time only," she warned. "I don't want to give you the idea that procrastinating is okay, or that you can make a habit out of it." Her smile became a wide grin, and her eyes traveled to my haunches. "But who am I to stand in the way of your cutie mark? After all, I suppose you can't fight fate."
Even as I matched her expression with my own smile, a vibrant blood-red word flashed again in my eyes. I couldn't help that my reply was laced with embarrassment and regret.
"I suppose I can't."
“Oh my stars, did you get your cutie mark?!”
“All of you are simply just growing up so fast.”
“We’re about to graduate, you know.”
"I have my own fair share of secrets too.”
“You can’t run away from what you are!”
"Did I ever mention that I love you?"
"What kind of a destiny is this?”
I'm not a fan of first person, myself. (Though I have used it once or so before.) But, I read on anyway and liked it all, too. So you certainly done good. Can't wait to see where it goes, or what sort of pitfalls or adventures await Sweetie Belle. Who knows, Gamescon? Maybe Rarity gets shanghaied into being a booth babe.
Criticism - I know Sweetie has a dictionary in her head, but her vocabulary seemed a bit flowery at times.
I liked what you did with Sweetie Belle here.
One does not choose their destiny, so I look forward to seeing how she'll deal with her new-found cutiemark.
5083867 Same, actually; I'm so unused to it that there were actually a lot of points where I accidentally switched perspectives. Still very worried I might have missed some cases...
I seriously struggled with whether I wanted it to be first or third, but I decided, after reading MrNumbers' glorious Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle, that there was something quite special about internal dialogue expressed through narration. While I sincerely doubt I'll ever match his level of skill for comedy, I can still hope to aspire to it.
In any case, it really means a lot to me that someone who generally doesn't ascribe to it still managed to find it agreeable.
Also you are giving me many wonderful ideas that I am absolutely not opposed to and may or may not purloin sometime in the not-so-distant future.
5083892 Perhaps not. Destiny will play a very important role in this story.
Err. The concept, not the game.
But the game will be relevant too.
5083898
You sir, should look into using the method Robert Jordan, and many other authors for that matter, used. I adapted it for all of mine, even. You can still use prolific internal monologue with third person in the narrative, no doubt.
Still, you wrote what you've written well.
I believe I can compare the Internet Guildmates thing to my Followers. They are my Backbone. I love them all like family, and I genuinely care if something happens to them. Good on you, Sweetie.
I wanna be your prereader!!
This chapter, I like it.
Another!
I would preread but I have school so sorry. I loved this though. You now have a stalker.
5084072 Pfft.
You don't love me like family.
5084072 I rely on my pals to get me through thick and thin in wizard101 (Haha laugh all you want, it's the only game I know).
MashNSmash = Button Mash
Swan Song = Sweetie Belle
NightMare = Luna
Zaidy Waidy = ???
HiHoSilver = Braeburn?
Freya = Gilda?
5085323
I missed that one, and it's so obvious.
Props, obviously.
5085323 5085387 False.
quickmeme.com/img/b5/b5bc7984d4ccbea3679ddc0cad9a6cfaaa7153aacc460508d6fc06246efac972.jpg
Speaking of which, you're both fired.
5086159 wat. Button Mash was mentioned at least a dozen times. u crae?
So the main point of drama and conflict for this story is... Sweetie Belle like video games.
Yeahhhhh... no, that's stupid
I dunno, in my class, things were easier: 11-years-old girls freely talked about GTA: Vice City, boys exchanged cheat codes for Sims: Superstar with each other, etc. Same for university.
But I suppose not all classes are like that.
First story, gets featured.
Congrats mate!
5086302 it's not stupid there was a time when video games where seen for boys alone heck the DS was going to be named "City Boy". Its still a small problem in some places. I live in a small village in Appalachia when I was little I was probably the first women to play games in my school, openly that is. I use to get teased alot for it and there where some boys who where like "marry me!!!". And it still happens ever now and then.
i can relate and i cant wait for chapter 2
This very quickly felt like a self insert with Sweetie Belle acting as the vehicle. The fact that her cutie mark has a swan and her online name is Swan Song, as is your online name here, kind of solidifies this idea (I didn't notice your name till I went to type this up, so it made more sense after that).
I guess my suggestion would be to try and figure-out/solidify Sweetie Belle as a character more and simulate that in the first person perspective rather than just projecting your own self interpretation as the character. That goes for the other characters as well. I was wondering why the other CMC members weren't sad they couldn't have been there for the event or other understandable group dynamic aspects considering they're extreme efforts to get Cutie Marks as a team.
I was wondering when you were going to release a story. And this is a very interesting one to start off with. Can't wait to read it.
Y'know what? I'd be down for having a Destiny mark.
Also, fuck the vault of glass. Good gear, but fuck it.
Sweetie, you just need to get the hang of doing your homework on the toilet during coffeé brakes, sleeping for three hours and going to bed 3AM in the morning.
img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1387/17/1387176837795.jpg
MOAR!
um, if you don't mind
Keep it coming!
So far, I'm actually really liking this. For a first story, this is awesome.
On a side note, I'd also really like to become a prereader, if that's ok.
This is very good! To the Read Later list it goes! /)
gamare I like it i'm using it from now on Gamarejill
gamare I like it i'm using it from now on Gamarejill
5085285 IKR? Dark Wizard OP.
The 'sad' tag does not really fit.
I miss my guidmates!
5083867 I always imagined Sweetie Belle to be the more flowery of her three friends. That, and her constant proximity to "Lady Rarity, Paragon of Gentility and Grace", have contributed a lot to her dictionary and mannerisms. Will become a bigger plot point as time goes on.
It'll get flowery-ier. Flowers are nice.
5086302 Well yeah, sure, if you live in an impenetrable bubble of cognitive rejection where nothing you do is scrutinized or challenged by the rest of the world.
5086446 I was the only 11-year-old in my class who liked Vice City... But all things considered I went to a really preppy school. Let's just say I didn't last long.
Uni was a much different experience, thankfully.
5087385 I'm actually struggling with this a bit. I wanted to add both a "Sad" and a "Comedy" tag to it, but Fimfic wouldn't let me. So I kinda had to decide mentally which was more important to me--the drama, or the comedy?
Fimfic states that stories tagged "Sad" don't necessarily have sad endings. On top of that, stories tagged "Comedy" are intended primarily to make the reader laugh, and while I try (and kinda fail, imo) to do that, it's not my priority.
Fimfic needs a "Drama" tag. Seriously.
5086654 Your comment is pretty much confirming some of my own fears. I've been worried about this too, for two reasons:
1. I don't feel like Sweetie Belle has a very vivid personality in the show. She's really freakin' adorable, sure, but other than that she kinda seems like an average Jane. So I started trying to counterbalance her against the other two--Apple Bloom's yer typical hard-working down-to-earth gal, and Scootaloo's the tomboyish athlete. Essentially, all that little trio was missing was the ladylike egghead. She kinda became the Hermione to the other two's Harry and Ron.
That being said, she seems to be the most self-aware and self-critical among her trio of friends. Something I've noticed about self-critical people is that they carry a lot of guilt for their own perceived wrongdoings. I evolved that into something of an anxiety issue for her--the pressures of failure, coupled with her unorthodox talent. It's gonna get bigger and more obvious, hopefully.
2. I totally did not intend for this to happen when I first started (it was supposed to be a comedy!), but as I wrote further and further, I started adding a lot of my own experiences and feelings into the story. As a result, a lot of Sweetie's issues--and her responses to them--are sourced from my own life. A lot of me is going to bleed into her, and I'm not quite sure how to separate the two (or, admittedly, if I even want to).
This is my first story, and was always intended to be a sandbox of sorts to let me try playing around with words again and see if I was capable of doing a decent job (see the "skullfucking cucumbers" comment). I really did not expect for it to get as big as it did. So now I'm just a little worried that I'm getting in over my head.
On the other hand, I get critiques like yours, which definitely gives me an idea of things I need to fix going forward. I'll probably have the spectre of "Sweetie Belle needs more personality" hanging over my head for a while longer, but I hope that in time I can develop her into a more vivid personality.
All in all, thanks for your feedback! I've received very little of it in the way of character personalities, so it'll definitely be a boon moving forward.
There are hints of it in the first chapter--AB and Scoots both express a little unease at realizing their best friend beat them to the punch, but in the heat of the moment, they're a lot happier for their friend than they are jealous. Right now I'm just laying the groundwork for it, but it's going to be a much bigger development point moving forward.
*raises a fist in the air* TO GAMING!
5086862 exactly.
Sweetie, you don't not play Destiny all night. There are Vex that need killin'.
Well, I saw the author's name, remembered you from the Yaerfaerda comment section, and decided to read this on a whim.
I am very glad I did. This is an excellent start. I look forward to the next chapter.
For a first go, ever, in ever, it's not bad. Your writing is actually fairly well constructed, and the idea is pretty interesting. Gamer ponies has been done alot, but not one touching on the culture of disapproval that was centered on gaming for the longest time in the human world.
While a lot of the people here are growing up in an age where video gaming has become widespread enough, and popular enough, to be considered "Cool" and "mainstream", I can remember when it was mostly shunned, and being a gamer was either a secret, or a source of shame.
It wasn't all sunshine and kickass graphics, and everyone having a console. So before you open your mouth to say that "that's wrong. Noone's like that" or something? Remember that gaming is a lot older than most people realize. (The first video games were made in the early 70's, and gaming didn't become openly accepted and encouraged until just this past decade, aside from arcades. And let's not mention girl gaming, and the whole set of gender stereotyping that goes with it.)
Back to the story, it definitely felt like you were slipping into a bit of self insert, and you -should- be careful of that, it's only a horrible mistake if you don't learn from it.
Sweetie Belle features in tons of stories, so if you have trouble forming a personality for her, you should check them out, too.
I'll give you a green thumb, and an offer to proofread if you haven't found someone to do it yet.
Good job. Keep it up, and keep improving.
Our little Swan is growing up and getting the feature box. Sniff!
Love it, and looking forward to the next chapters immensely.
5087549
By flowery I meant, she sounded like a snooty college professor. Or maybe Luna or an aristocrat. Hah
Or Maybe an author. Either way, not a kid having everyday thoughts or conversation. It wasn't terribly distracting except in a couple spots, though.
5087723 Oh yeah, she's definitely a snarker, alright. A teenage life filled with secrets and foul-mouthed gamers will do that to ya.
5087661 I've actually read a lot of stories with Sweetie Belle in them, but I don't think I've ever read anything that has had a really standout Sweetie Belle personality. The most I can remember is an almost child-like sincerity and genuine care and concern for others.
Do you have any recommendations?
5087737 Well, I wasn't referring to her personality, so much as just her vocabulary used. Here's an example:
I get that she's being snarky with her monologue, but it's the way she says it that stood out.
Great story, the game they play actually reminds me a bit of Destiny, what with the Titan and darkness references and such.
Also, I hope at somepoint that we can see an image of Sweetie Belle's cutiemark if possible, I just really like visuals...
Lastly, I think it'd be funny that if since AB has a crush on Button Mash, Button Mash has a crush on Sweetie for her gamer skills.
Would be funny and make for a good story development maybe.
5087821
>"Titan Mark"
>"Vault of Glass"
>"intrepid Guardians"
>"our fireteam"
>"Atheon, Conflux of Time"
Now, whatever could have given you that idea, dear?
5087597 5086817
Wouldn't it be funny if Sweetie Belle got the Titan symbol as her cutie mark. xD
5087778 Yeah, I dunno. I don't really have an excuse for that (…she reads Shakespeare a lot? xD). I just figured it'd help flesh out her personality a little bit more. As you can probably tell, that's been a bit of a difficult spot for me.
5087670 5087606 5086683 5083892
Hail, fellow Jurists. Thanks for joining me on this journey. It's nice to have some familiar faces along for the ride.
5087015 5084475
Thanks for the offers. I have my set of prereaders for now. I'll let you know if I need any more help.
5087895
Awesome, so I was right. :D
But in all serious though, I think an image of Sweetie Belle's cutiemark would be great.
Hell, I'd even be will to give it a shot in making it if I had time.
HWAT'S THIS
A fanfic with the most adorable colt in ponyville and sweetie belle and Destiny?!
I FAVE THEE
By the way what class does Button play? Does he like hoof cannons?
5087943 Button Mash is a Hunter, and he plays Autorifles and Shotguns. (Yeah, I know. He's that guy.) Sweetie Belle's a Hand Cannon/Sniper Rifle player, though in smaller maps she'll mix it up and run Fusion Rifles instead.
5087973 It's hard not to be that guy in the Crucible though. Personally, though, I'm a fusion rifle-Hand Cannon-HMG kind of guy. Fusion rifles because, in the words of the great writer Peptuck,
5087895
Maybe sometime soon I'll catch up on that series. I'm still on Ordsjot, but it won't be long after that before I catch up to the most recent story.